📝 What HNZ Has Meant to Me 📝

We invite you to use this thread to share what brought you to HNZ, what it has meant for you, and what you've gained from your time on the site! Can't wait to see all that you share!

I don't even know where to start here. It has taken me a while to formulate words and how I'm feeling about this being one of the last posts I'm going to make on this site.

I found this site at about 13 years old and I'm now almost 25. It got me through high school and I honestly don't think I would've been able to get through that part of my life without it, and without all of the people here. My first impression was that everyone was so kind and welcoming, and I still feel that way. The people on this site made me stay.

The site also rather intrigued me at such a young age because I had loved Harry Potter since before I can remember and my dream was to become an author one day. It gave me the confidence to share my writing with people on a platform where we all shared one thing in common - our love for the Harry Potter story. It was in fact a perfect past time for me and was a safe haven for when I was feeling low. In the back of mind I always thought "ok, if today is a bad day, I always have HNZ to go back to" and it never disappointed.

Over the time I met numerous people in real life and made so many friends on the site that mean a lot to me, even if we don't talk very often. I hope that we can all keep in touch and that our love for Harry Potter will continue. I know that if I ever have children I will be reading Harry Potter to them every night before bed. It is a story that will live on in my heart forever

And to my characters, I love every single one of you. I plan on wrapping up all your stories, even if I don't have time to do so before the closing of the site. My Wiki will be updated soon and at least I have this to continue working on.

To everyone on this site, THANK YOU <3
Thank you for being there when I needed you the most.
Thank you for giving me memories that I will cherish for the rest of my life.
Thank you for welcoming me, including me, and for sharing your wonderful characters with me.
Even though the site is coming to a close, the memories and the characters will live on.

I've been thinking of what to write for awhile. I started on HNZ when I was 18/19, and I'm 35 now. I haven't been on the whole time, especially in the last few years, but apart from making some absolutely incredible friends, HNZ has helped my creative side so much.
I'm not much of a writer, so HNZ really pushed me out of my comfort zone but helped me discover an absolute love of character creation. Character creation and RPs have helped me with my creative side outside of HNZ too, especially when people don't respond the way you thought they would! I've learnt about staying true to the character but also just how different everyone is.
I have been through a lot in my personal life over the last fifteen years, and I would not be who I am today without HNZ. There have been people who have helped see me through some horrible times, and I know that I have lifelong friends because of HNZ.
I have learnt way more about Harry Potter and it's world than I ever thought I would, and tbh it helped me with understanding about it's negative effects around the world too; it's opened my eyes a lot more.
I have learnt about coding - not that I can say I actually know how to do anything - but between the move to Xenforo and biographies I now know it's not just random letters and symbols!
Doing admin with Cyndi was an amazing and stressful time. It definitely strengthened the friendship we had but I agree with the stress over making decisions. I think I'm better at just doing things and not having to make decisions about things Being a GM was incredibly rewarding too, and again, made some amazing friends through working with them.
I love how plotting brought together a lot of people too, and again, the friends that I made through plotting and character relationships. I love the people here, the creativity, the inclusiveness and love. At the end of the day, I know everyone involved in this community genuinely wishes the best for everyone else, and that is so rare to find. Everything on this site is rare to find, and I'm so so lucky and grateful to have found it. Love you all.

I've been sitting with this question for weeks now, and I still don't have an answer. HNZ has meant so many things to me, often at the same time.

When I was 16, HNZ meant a fun way to be creative with my IRL friends, a way to incorporate everyone's favourite book with the familiarity of the place we live in. It meant often feeling awkward and left out around site members who all seemed to know each other well, but mostly it meant connecting with my friends. It meant making a male RP character for the first time, one with characteristics I was curious to explore in myself, and making the first timid steps in exploring my gender.

When I was 17, HNZ meant escape. My living situation was collapsing - I was homeless for a while - and I could hardly ever get anywhere I had internet access. But when I could, I would check in on Kyle, see what I could get him into, even if I could only ever manage a post or two a week at the library.

For a few years after that, HNZ meant 'that old RP forum I still think of sometimes'. Occasionally I would check back in and see if it still existed, but that was about all. (At one point I made a Durmstrang student & made roughly 3 posts with them, but that barely counts.)

When I was 23, HNZ meant returning to an RP culture I had spent my whole teens immersed in across more forums than I can count. It meant reconnecting to a part of myself and a form of creativity that I had lost over the years. It meant being creative with some of my favourite people, but it also meant being an outsider. It meant coming in to a space where everyone had known each other for years now, had established dynamics and plots and friend groups, and not having any place I slotted in to that. Likewise to how Kyle was the beginning of me exploring my gender, Ainsley was the beginning of me exploring what my new autism diagnosis meant to me, and unpicking parts of my unusual childhood.

When I was 24, HNZ meant facing some of my anxieties. I was coming off some of the worst mental health years of my life and I had very little capacity for even slightly stressful situations. Submitting the smallest app made me feel like I was about to die, my pulse would race for DAYS until I heard back. HNZ meant trying to step outside of my comfort zone socially, though I still felt like I had no idea how to approach anyone, and nobody really wanted me around.

When I was 25, HNZ meant blossoming. I was starting to come out of my shell, starting to remember how to make friends both online and in person. I was hitting my creative stride, and though I was still going through a lot IRL, HNZ meant I would always have a place to come back to that was really beginning to feel like where I belonged.

When I was 26, HNZ began to mean escape again. Things were not good, IRL. I was on meds that messed me up so badly that I hardly remember any of that year. I was in a toxic living situation. My body was falling apart around me. But HNZ was there, and I could feel connected and free outside of the horrible mess I was going through IRL.

When I was 27, HNZ meant something social to do. I feel like anything I can say about HNZ during covid lockdowns has been said a million times over, but it really felt like the only place I could go that still felt like A Place. The community ballooned that year, I can not STRESS ENOUGH how INSANE Ollivanders was when all the new lockdown members were trying to figure out how to buy wands at once. It was exhausting and overwhelming, but it was its own little world away from everything going on outside.

When I was 28, HNZ meant community. I'd been back for five years, but this was the point I really genuinely started to feel like I was a wanted part of something, like people here actually liked me and wanted me around. I'd been hearing that for years, but this is around the time it really sunk in, and I stopped being afraid to just... start conversations, or ask for threads. Sounds crazy that it took so long, but I can not stress enough how bad my anxiety in my early 20s was.

When I was 29, HNZ began to become A Lot. This was the year I bought a house and began living on my own for the first time. My teaching was also in higher demand than it ever had been before, and I started to get stretched thinner and thinner, and unfortunately HNZ was the thing that started having to fall by the wayside. This is also around when JK Rowling was making her views impossible to ignore, and the world that had once felt like home closed its doors to me and anyone like me.

When I was 30, HNZ meant something I wanted to cling to, but didn't know how anymore. I was getting busier and busier and my posts were getting fewer and further between. It was frustrating - I would keep having these ideas or coming up with plots with people, but when I did have the time to post, the words just weren't coming anymore. I started getting scared to even open the site because I was paranoid people would see me online but not doing the things I should be doing and get mad at me, so I started... just not opening HNZ anymore.

When I was 31, HNZ meant an obligation I was struggling with. I wanted to still feel the way I used to feel so, so badly. I loved my characters, I loved the friends I had made on site (I even met several of them IRL in this period! ILY KRIS, MIA, MIKA!!!) but more and more between the amount of onsite responsibilities I had and IRL responsibilities I had it was getting harder and harder to open the site. I stopped committing to plots because I knew I couldn't be trusted to follow through, but then I didn't have anything exciting to bring me back.

When I was 32, HNZ meant something I was so, so, so desperate to still love. I would go through bouts where my inspiration would come back, but inevitably all those same factors wound up dragging me away within a couple of weeks, all the while every reminder of the HP branding built into the site just made it harder and harder to even look at, because every Quidditch match or Sorting Ceremony reminded me of the immense hate that's been directed to me and my community under the name of something that used to carry me so warmly.

Now I'm 33, and HNZ means history. As sad as I am to see it go I don't know how much longer I could have stuck around, but I'm stubborn and I don't like my characters suffering because of MY issues. (overattached, i know) I don't have the time I used to, my list of characters has gotten longer than I can keep up with the way I'd like to, and the HP setting is only getting more and more painful to look at each day. I've loved HNZ with all my heart for over half my life, but I'm ready to put it to bed peacefully, with all the love in the world. It's been so nice being able to wrap up my characters and see their lives ahead without being reliant on my constant input anymore, to let them go freely without needing me to keep them moving anymore.

Through all this HNZ has meant creativity, it's meant joy, it's meant frustration, it's meant community, it's meant nerves, it's meant laughter, it's meant connections, it's meant storytelling, it's meant learning, it's meant growing. There's no question in my mind that I am the person I am today because of HNZ in large measure, and I will never be able to put that kind of gratitude and love into words.

Thank you, HNZ. I love you.

I first found HNZ back in 2011 after a different HP RPG I used to frequent died. That site was set in Australia, so when I found HNZ, I guess I thought, "New Zealand? Close enough." (My apologies to all the Aussies and Kiwis on the site.)

Although I registered an account at the time, I never made it to sorting. Over the next several years, I made a couple other first years but never made it past the Halloween Feast. Even though I wasn't an active member, there was something comforting about knowing HNZ would always be there if I ever did want to get back into RPing. That was something I really loved about HNZ — how easy it was to create a character and get started. There weren't lengthy application forms, word counts, or a bunch of hoops to jump through. Also, the community was so welcoming and willing to RP with newbies.

It's really bittersweet to know that HNZ will no longer be there, that it won't always be waiting in the wings in case I ever want to return.

In April 2020, I was part of the site's pandemic boom in membership, sorting Harper at the time, and I still consider that my official start date at HNZ. I had just graduated university and was stuck in my house, away from all my friends. So HNZ became the bulk of my social life. I really cherish all the friendships I made at that time, especially with the other members who had characters in Harper's class (still my favorite year group). Those friendships were the reason I finally stayed active long enough to make it past the Halloween Feast. (To be fair, the abundance of free time I had thanks to the world being shut down also helped.)

Beyond being my main source of community at the time, HNZ was also my primary creative outlet. I loved developing my characters and writing too-long posts (thank you to everyone who bothered to read them). My graphic-making skills also improved immensely, which I credit HNZ for.

I've been inactive these last few years, mostly because the world has opened back up again, and I have more and more IRL obligations. But I still think about the members and characters here. (Some characters here have permanently ruined certain celebrities for me.) I have alternately toyed with the idea of coming back — I had so many plans for my characters — and officially moving my characters to inactive. I guess with the site shutting down, that decision has been made for me. And while I'm very sad about the decision, I'm also so, so grateful that HNZ played such a defining role during those years in my early 20s. I feel very lucky to have been part of this community and to have had a chance to create and tell stories with you all.

I figured to wait to the last minute before I say anything.

I joined when I was 15, going on 16, back in 2008 when my cousin introduced me to RP. I was a writer before, but I wrote novels that were... Well, NSFW because of the violence (angsty teen I suppose). I had just moved from GA to KY, away from all of my friends that I made and loved. So, this place served as a great escape. And ever since then, I have been hooked. I remained online majority of the time and only took a year hiatus when I felt so overwhelmed with all the characters that I called it quits. Only until a new character came up that I decided to come back (Killian here) back in 2022. 4 years later and the site is shutting down.

I have made countless friends on here, from the oldies of Livvy, Julie, Katie and Amanda, and new ones like Verity. I remain in touch with majority of those I met from here, even to this day. I cannot imagine not having friends from around the world now, even if I have some in RL. From age 15 to 33 this site has been a huge staple, and now it almost feels like a part of my childhood is telling me to shut up and move on.

Now, you'll find me on other boards, different universes but HNZ will always have a special place in my heart because it was my start, but not my finish. It helped me write, get through the tough spots in my life, and helped me make a lot of new friends and writing partners.

I write this out now with a feisty kitten on my chest trying to eat my hair It has been fun, HNZ, and rest easy.

its’s officially june 1st in my timezone, and it’s slowly hitting me that were pretty much at the end of the site’s course! hnz has meant to much to me since i started joining the site back in early 2019. i’ve met so many amazing and cool people on this site! watching the site build up and see it grow the last 7 years has been honestly incredible and i’m so sad to see it go.

the community that was built here has been so amazing and i hope to still keep in contact with ppl here! everyone’s characters and plots have been amazing, whether it’s big or small!

hnz was an escape when it was not in the right place but also an escape on where i could create characters and plots! no site is the same like this place, and i’m not sure where i’ll be able to go from here. but it’s been an amazing ride, and meeting all of you as well as seeing all your creativity has warmed my heart so much!

i love you all! thank you hnz! you will be terribly missed!

Folks have heard this story before: I was 14 when I joined HNZ. I was heading into ninth grade and found a link on social media, thinking it would take me to a Harry Potter flash game where I could kill a few hours. Oh boy, did I not know what I was getting into.

Apparently Cedric_Diggs wasn’t an acceptable username, so Alicia helped me choose a new one. I picked my actual first name, and she chose the surname King (despite what the ego-maniacal conspiracies will suggest, my username hasn't been some sort of deep insight into my psyche at all).

Unlike many of you, for whom HNZ has been part of a much broader and deeper love for creative writing, HNZ was really the only place where I did that (I’m sure that showed). Somehow, within a year, I was an admin. I had advocated for global moderators, but that idea was opposed; then, after being promoted to the admin team on a weekend when Alicia was away, I implemented group colours in consultation with Liv/Cecily (seriously, we didn't have them before!). Alicia was not happy at all. But they stuck around. That was the beginning of the myriad and endless improvements I tried to bring to the way the site looked and ran.

Things HNZ has meant to me include:

• Learning that adults aren’t that different from kids. I was 15 and quickly dealing with the drama and overreactions of people with families of their own. The internet of 2008-2013 was a messy place, guys.
  
  
• Learning how to lead a team. There are leadership lessons I learned here that I still apply in the rest of my life.
  
  
• Learning how to program. Not just BBCode: but HTML, CSS, JS, PHP, and MySQL; basically full-stack web development. That led to employment as a TA in undergrad for the School of Computer Science at my university, despite my degree being in Dramatic Art.
  
  
• Contributing to the wider community. Being an admin on HNZ led to support roles for InvisionFree and ZetaBoards through high school and undergrad, and later support admin work there too. What I learned here turned out to be useful to a lot of people running communities of their own.
  
  
• Learning how to call in a favour. HNZ would have died in its prime if we’d had to move to Tapatalk. Fortunately, I’d done enough of the above good deeds to persuade the powers-that-were to give me our database. We were spared at the last, and it's crazy to me how much of this site's story comes after IF & ZB. There are lots of stories of HNZ being saved that I guess no one will ever hear! (Let me know if you're ever in
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• Realizing a lot of people are a lot better than me at a lot of things. Cyndi was working full time, doing a double doctorate or something, and HNZing on a bus from her phone when phones were not good while I had completely checked out because of my master’s degree. Cyndi’s a beast forever and ever, amen.
  
  
• Learning about myself. I’m a troublemaker by nature, usually for a good cause, and I don’t take people being mistreated lightly. There’s at least one person who was banned because he was using the site to bully somebody more vulnerable than himself. I know I got pushback sometimes when I called people out publicly as an admin, and I was happy to wear the bad-cop badge because I don’t know how Cyndi and Emzies took the flak they did for as long as they did on something like a hobby internet forum (the stakes are pretty low here!). I also learned how much I appreciate a fairly compartmentalized life. Few people from my real life ever learned about HNZ. I’ve only met two HNZers in person, and I’ve just realized I don’t think I’ve even told my wife it’s closing tomorrow. I suppose I should put something in “Let’s Keep in Touch” before the very end.

Time has flown. Suffice it to say I’m not 14 anymore, and I’ll miss the place where I could come in, be known, say something outlandish for some laughs or code something silly to bother Donna or Kaitlyn. I'll miss being able to hunker down after a day of difficulty and no clear solutions and just write some code that either worked or didn’t (and if it didn’t, there was a provable fix). Unlike with people, which is my day job, where you’re never really sure if something’s working or if there’s even a solution at all.

I didn't get to know many of you very well. Some of you not at all. But I'm so grateful for the piece of when-the-internet-was-good that you made this site to be, and that I could have such a special part in its story.

Not to truly get in right at the last moment, but I also don't think this has really hit me or will hit me until it's all over, and it is difficult to reflect when mentally it's still going. I've always been good at compartmentalizing and being okay as things end, so it feels to me like a great culmination of so much work and effort and I feel a little joyous, celebratory that we managed to go so long and it was so good. I think I'll probably wake up next month and just have a moment to be sad about it.

Putting into words what this place has meant to me is crazy, it's meant a lot and in a lot of different ways. I'm not the same person I am when I joined, and I credit HNZ in allowing me to expand and improve my writing (marginally) and it is because of HNZ that I have a working knowledge of graphics making. Which remains something I use day in and out ( thankfully as a hobby over monetised).

Being Staff and Admin was always a great honour and privilege, but it has led to some deeply unique experiences. For one, I know way more about HP lore than I really now care to. Especially as my feelings on the franchise has soured. There is also the way that leading the site more than writing on it had led to the encroachment of it in my life. It wasn't just something I could check in on, it was something I had to do. Like in the move, being on my phone in work between emails and during lunch tapping away to help get us ready to launch and trying to hide what I was doing. Or just the other year when I went to England for my sisters wedding and was in the back of the car doing the group changes with one bar of 3G because I knew I wouldn't have time to do it at other point.

I've made dozen of friends, and gotten to know so many people I would've never otherwise crossed paths with. I'm deeply thankful to everyone for being as kind as they were, deeply thankful to the other Admin, the ones who came before me, to all the GMs, to all the Accio people, to everyone really who helped make this site last as long so it's end could be momentous.

HNZ has been with me for so much of my life, and what my life will look like without it is going to be interesting. But fundamentally, I'm deeply thankful for everything HNZ has given me, and truly hopefully that I was able to give back in equal measure. HNZ means so much to me, and will always mean so much to me and I'm so glad I was here for it.