Closed Definitely not a date

Lin held Cas as he felt him breathing, could feel his heartbeat, or was that his own pulse beating. “I told you I would be the one to mess us up, to say something or not say something and hurt you again without even realising or intending to,” he said giving his arm a squeeze. How was that something he was so good at doing? It was a terrible skill. He just wanted cas to be happy, ideally happy with him. But most importantly happy with himself.
 
Cas hesitated at Lindens words. They sounded like more pretty words... but maybe Lin meant it? Cas was too drunk and too tired to figure it out. He shifted, rolling so he could snuggle into Lindens arms, his face in the man's neck. "Are we together?" He asked Linden softly.
 
Linden shifted as he felt Casper move letting him have enough space to roll over. He held him close. Feeling his hair against his cheek. He chuckled very slightly at Casper's question. “We can’t exactly get much closer together than this,” he said feeling Casper's feet against his. Then he smiled he could already picture his expression at that “if a date needs to be named a date before it occurs then a boyfriend definitely needs to be named beforehand.” Pulling back slightly cupping Casper's face in one of his hands. “I want us to be together if that is something you want too” he said looking at his beautiful face.
 
Cas almost grumbled at Lindens flippant reaction, but the next comment flustered him too much. He snuggled his face more into Lindens neck, swallowing hard.

Linden pulled back, and Cas looked up at him shyly. It was hard remembering that Linden didn't love him when he was looking at Cas like that. Cas let out a shaky breath, reaching up and pressing his hand over Lindens on his face. He sighed shakily, pressing into the man's hand. "I do want it," he replied softly. "I really want to," he peeked back up at Linden.
 
Linden could almost feel cas about to pull away again at his comment but was glad he didn’t. At least until he had finished talking. He felt cas’ hand on his and bit his lip as his guy took a deep breath. He was fairly sure he hadn’t read into the situation wrong but he couldn’t be certain. He couldn’t hold back the smile when cas said he wanted them to be together. “Well then, Casper. Will you do me the honour of being my boyfriend” he said. Resisting the urge to kiss him before he even had the chance to answer.
 
Casper blushed deeper- Cas didn't think that was possible- and his eyes widened. He didn't respond immediately, instead just knocking Linden over and kissing him eagerly, his hands tangled in Lindens collar.

Soon enough, though, he pulled away. "No." He countered softly. "I need time- I don't think we should date right now." He didn't bother listing out the thousand reasons he had for that. He peeked at Linden, reaching down for Lindens hand to pull it up and press it to his heart. "I-" Cas cursed, blushing, but he pushed himself to talk. "I'm yours, okay? We're together. I mean- if that's what you want. I just- I don't think we should go public just yet."

He tried to reassure Linden. Guilt flashed in his eyes and he fell to the side, dragging his hands down his face. "God, that sounds terrible," he complained. "I don't mean- I just-" he took a deep breath and looked over.

"I don't want to upset Lucas. Or have Tara gloating. I remember how badly it destroyed me when you and Lucas got together. And Lucas is already pissy enough." Cas ran his hands into his hair.

"I don't want to keep you a secret," he muttered. Frustrated, he tugged on his hair and rolled over. "Forget it, I'm just- I'm an idiot," he sighed, mad at himself.
 
Linden let out a small yelp as Casper knocked him over. He hadn’t expected such an enthusiastic reaction. Kissing his boyfriend back feeling the heat rising through him. However, it wasn’t long before cas pulled away. An almost sad expression on his face which made his heart drop. He listened as his man spoke not expecting the ‘no’ response he got. As cas explained that he needed more time he felt his heart lurch. He shrugged it off trying to seem nonchalant. Pretending that the fact that it was what Lucas had said when he had first asked to date didn’t matter. It had taken almost a year of flirting until Lucas was ready, He would give Casper all the time in the world if he needed it. “Take as long as you need. I’ll be here, well not here, here i can't afford to stay in the hostel forever, but I’ll be there with you” he said trying to reassure both of them that this one night was not going to be the end of them. What he was not expecting was for Casper to continue and take it hand and hold it against his chest. The butterfly beating it’s wings similar to the hummingbird that he could feel inside his own ribcage. He listened as he tried to explain what he meant “Of course, that is what I want. You’re mine too dumbass” he said affectionately still trying to process cas logic which was confusing his sleepy drunk brain. He smiled slightly at Caspers reasoning. “Merlin, I dont know how I will be able to stand tara being smug when she finds out,” he admitted. He could already see the girl's face and the whisper of I told you so. Lucas didn't worry him so much. The boy had had his chance with both of them. And if his standards were so specific then why shouldn't everyone else be happy. It wasn't that he wanted to upset or annoy him but he just wasn't a factor in the equation. “Okay, so you want us to be together as in dating but not my boyfriend. You dont want things to be a secret but also but dont want to tell people as you dont want to upset my ex or put up with your sister gloating?” he said, posing it as a question to make sure he got all of the contraindications right.
 
Cas rolled his eyes at Lindens dumb joke, smiling warmly. "If you stay here I'm leaving you," He teased back. He blushed as Linden said he was Caspers. "Good," He breathed, biting his lip. He was tempted to lean in for another kiss, but they should probably talk first. He laughed as Linden mentioned Tara. "She's got the biggest 'I told you so' ever tucked away, I know it," Cas laughed. Cas winced at Lindens summary. "Almost. I want to be your boyfriend but I don't want to make Lucas mad." Cas tried to explain. "I've... never actually had a boyfriend. I don't know how to be one. But I do remember how much it killed me when you and Lucas got together. I don't want to hurt Lucas. He's our friend. Besides, he's basically always mad at me. I don't need to piss him off again. We do still have to live with him for the rest of the year." He told Linden.
 
Linden smiled as joked about him staying here. And nodded when cas said she had the biggest I told you so expression “Oh she has. And I don’t think she will ever let us forget it” he said. He did love their sister and knew she only did it because she cared but she was annoying about it sometimes.

He listened as cas corrected his summary. But as he started to ramble on about Lucas he moved his hand to put a finger across Casper's lips. “Shh Cas, Lucas is not important right now. This is our night not his. I can deal with him if need be” he said softly still feeling a little uncomfortable with the talk of lucas. Both because it was weird talking about his ex while starting a new relationship, especially because of how carelessly he had been dumped, and because he hadn’t thought of how Luc would react when they started dating. He hadn't thought of Caspers reaction to the same way back when. He as luc had become an item.

“How about we just don’t tell anyone until you are ready? and until then we will have fun making out to tara that we are still two oblivious fools. Skirting around each other” he said. He propped himself up a little more so that he was eye level with cas. “Casper Jason Beckett. Will you be my secret boyfriend. At least until the day that you are ready for us to come out?” He said. Thinking the phrase come out was odd. They were both already obviously ‘out’ in the conventional sense. coming out was never really anything he had had to do before.
 
Cas stilled as Linden shushed him, blinking and looking to the boy. He blushed deeper- Cas didn't think that was possible. “Our night…?” He echoed softly. Why did that sound so… so nice? He bit his lip, nodding slowly at Lindens suggestions. He watched as Linden propped up, his eyes following the man.

And then, as Linden spoke, Caspers eyes widened. "Did you just middle name me?" Casper asked, before laughing. He didn't respond immediately this time either, instead just knocking Linden back over and kissing him eagerly, his hands tangled in the mans collar.
 
Linden smiled as cas repeated his words back in a whisper as though trying to see how the words felt together in his mouth.. “Does that sound alright?” he asked not much more than a whisper himself.

Linden chuckled at Casper's look of surprise mixed with confusion and shock. “Yes I did just middle name you Casper Jason” he teased you would have thought after the last time he would be prepared for Casper's enthusiasm but he was once again knocked backwards still laughing as Casper kissed him. “Is that a yes then?” he asked.
 
Casper smiled, nuzzling into Lindens neck again. "It sounds perfect," he whispered, kissing Linden gently. He traced his fingers down the mans jaw. It was so easy to be with Linden. Caspers doubts, worries, his fears all faded away. Cas felt…lighter. He sighed happily. He snuggled into Lindens neck. "I haven't had a boyfriend before- even a secret one." He looked up to Lin, smiling impossibly wider. "Is it nice, Linden Remus?" He teased in turn, tracing his nose up Lindens jawline.
 
. Elvera was definitely not here
 
Linden shifted slightly as cas kissed him. “I’m glad”. He said as cas said his proposal sounded perfect. He was a little surprised to hear that cas had never had a boyfriend before. He had had his heart broken so many times it seemed unfair that he hadn’t had the good times that were meant to come before it “And look who is middle naming now, boyfriend” he said winking, feeling how nice that word felt.


As caspers question he tried to think back to both of his previous boyfriends though cas and the alcohol and tiredness were filling his brain. “It is the best, especially when your man loves you” he said. It had been nice aside from the numerous misunderstandings. Before they started drifting away. But he wouldn’t say that bit this was the start of something and he didnt want to make cas even consider that there may be an end. And he had a feeling that being with cas was definitely going to be nice. He felt caspers fingers and nose moving along his jaw his breath caught as he bit his lip. He put his arms around his boyfriend one hand tangling fingers though caspers hair as he kissed him.
 
Cas smiled, and snuggled into Linden, sighing. "You started it," he yawned. He smiled shyly at Lindens words. He pressed a soft kiss behind Lindens ear before settling down, nestling his nose in the crook of Lindens neck. "It's nice when you hold me," he sighed happily, shutting his eyes and relaxing into Lindens embrace.
 
Linden felt cas snuggle in beside him and put his arm around him protectively. “Well snuggle up cassopiller and try and get some sleep” he said. Casting a wandless nox to turn out the lights. His eyes fell on the green numbers glowing on the clock “sleep well. We have to be up in about four hours for a day exploring fantasy castles” he said.
 
Cas giggled at the nickname, pressing a kiss to Lindens neck. “Only if you snuggle back, snowflake,” Cas teased. He was surprised when Linden mentioned the time, looking over to see how early it was. He yawned automatically, turning back to cuddle into Linden. "I blame you," he replied easily. "And tomorrow can be our first date." He told Linden, settling in and shutting his eyes. "This was wonderful but I'd rather we both know it's a date the first time." He pressed a kiss to Lindens neck and yawned again.

Cas fell asleep quickly, and slept soundly. Probably better than he had in a very long time. He wasn't sure at first what time it was when he woke up, too warm and comfortable to move. He yawned, nestling more into the warmth. He became a bit more aware then, aware enough to realize he was being held. He shifted slightly to peek up. Linden.

The events of last night came rushing back, and he couldn't help but smile. He nuzzled back into Lindens neck, pressing a soft kiss and cuddling closer. "I love you, Lin," Cas murmured, mostly to himself.
 
Linden smiled as cas snuggled into him. “Oh, I am sure it is entirely my fault,” he said holding cas against him feeling Casper’s warmth through his pyjamas except for his feet which were cold. He held them between his to try and warm them up. “it is a good thing i had a few outings planned. we may not get another one without tara” he said sleepily as he kissed cas’ forehead and leaned against the pillow quickly falling into a blissful sleep

He was comfortable and slept deeply, not even stirring when Casper woke up and kissed him and said that he loved him. his mind was instead filled up with dreams of cobbled streets and warm hugs, with snowflakes and fairy lights and the smell of cinnamon, ginger apples and paint. Until he was woken by something much more abrupt
 
Tara had been waiting for the boys for about twenty minutes now and she was fed up with it. Slipping away from her mom, she went over and opened the boys door, not surprised to find them still in bed. She smirked impishly to see them cuddling so cozily though, and she was quick to snap several pictures on Lindens camera. Let him find those later. When the task was done, she moved to the side of the bed and promptly smacked a pillow over both boys faces. "Time to get up!" She told them cheerily.
 
Casper was fast asleep, content, when something hit him. He hid his face in Lindens neck, groaning and grumbling, grabbing the blanket and pulling it up over most of his face as an attempt at protection.
 
THWACK. In the events of the previous night linden had forgotten to set the alarm. They had been up so late and been so tired they had just slept through the time the alarm was meant to go off or would have done if Someone had not taken it on herself to be their personal alarm. And there it was another thwack as he was rudely awakened by the impact of something falling onto his face. He moved to sit up when he realised he couldn't because he was being pinned down by cas who was snuggled against him. At least the protection arm was somewhat free. He heard Tara’s voice far too cheerful for this time in the morning n a pitch that made his head ache ”you could have knocked first before knocking us out. We could have been changing” he said to tara. She couldn’t just burst into their room. What if she had walked in on them kissing.
 
Tara rolled her eyes at her brothers. “What makes you think I didn’t knock?” She asked, smirking impishly. “Get up, sleepy bones. Breakfast is in twenty minutes,” She winked, shooting Linden a mischievous grin, blowing him a kiss as she walked back out, shutting the door behind her.
 
Cas grumbled at Tara’s loudness, unthinkingly curling up a bit closer against Linden. He yawned, not ready to move, and sighed as she shut the door. “I don’t wanna,” He complained, locking his leg through Lindens and grasping the fabric of Lindens shirt in one hand.
 
Linden roled his eyes at tara. “Because you never knock” he replied. As Cas held on to him tighter his legs gripping his. “We still have twenty minutes to get ready that does not deserve a pillow to the face” he complained as her blonde hair vanished through the door which she thankfully shut behind her. He started to sit up feeling his head pound as a hangover of memories from last night crashed into it with all the force of a pillow. What happened? “Cas, what happened last night?” he asked. Not sure what was real or what had been a dream. Not sure if the boy curled up in his arms was his brother, best friend or secret boyfriend.
 
Casper yawned, shifting away when Linden moved. He stretched, feeling a bit less hungover than Linden. He must not have drank as much as he thought he did. At Lindens question, Casper's face fell, his heart dropping to the pit of his stomach. He looked over at Linden for a split second before rolling over, trying to hide his disappointment. "Told you you were drunk," he grumbled, clutching at his pillow. Damn it. I knew it was too good to be true.
 

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