Family Dinner

[Professor Adorah Zumwalt]

Adorah wasn't sure why she had agreed to meet Nadia again. She knew that it was inevitable by her own accord or happenstance. The Dinette seem to be a more casual and less stressful meeting place, but that still did not quell Adorah's nerves. It had been weird trying to say everything she had wanted to from the past fifteen years in just a few letters. Maybe she was feeling this way because of the situation with her adopted parents, but the way it had all happened was not what she expected. Still trying to process, she made her way into the Dinette and found a table, noticing she had arrived before Nadia. Adorah ordered to waters and tried to get comfortable in the booth but just felt antsy. Pulling out her notebook, she began to write down a to-do list for the week to try and distract herself as she waited.


@Nadia Kaster

 

[Zennon Baros]

I forgot about this

 

[Nadia Kaster]

The holidays were coming up and as usual, Nadia was busy. In previous years it hadn’t mattered too much, because she’d never really had a family around or people she expected to spend time with to lose her focus, and so working had always been a natural thing for her, but given she was currently in a … casual relationship and was trying to reconnect - if she could call it that - with the daughter she’d never really expected to find again, it was pretty safe to say that these holidays were a little bit different, not that she’d intended them to be. After all, this was far from the kind of world she really expected to live in. It just wasn’t normal… not for her, anyway.​

Nadia was working as hard as she could to try and finish up the work she had thrust onto her desk before heading out to meet up with Adorah. She’d be seeing James later tonight and depending on how her time with Adorah went, she’d either be in a good mood or… well, she didn’t want to think about it because she was always nervous around Adorah and that was bad enough. Generally speaking, Nadia was a pretty outgoing person, she had to be in her line of work, shyness was essentially a death sentence so she’d had to learn how to hide how she was really feeling behind masks of confidence. Doing that for so long had sort of become her default, though she was trying to change that for Adorah’s benefit.​

As she approached the dinette, still in her work clothes, though she’d freshened herself up considerably, she hoped that Adorah wouldn’t be offended that she had come straight from work, though she would understand the question. She had no intentions of ever lying to the girl, unless she believed she really had to, though she was hoping that in that case, Adorah would understand if she neglected to answer, not that there were many subjects she could think of that would come up where she felt she would need to specifically lie. She tried to be quite open in her daily life.​

As she spotted Adorah, Nadia let the smile slip up onto her face and rubbed her sweaty palms onto her robes, shaking her head. She didn’t know why she was so nervous, though the potential for losing all access to Adorah was certainly there. If she simply decided she no longer wanted to have anything to do with Nadia, she was simply going to have to deal with it, because she refused to be the kind of person who would stalk someone, it just wasn’t who she was.​

“Adorah?” She called out as she walked over. She’d noticed that she was writing something, and since Nadia wasn’t sure how private it was she didn’t want to accidentally risk getting a glimpse of it in case Adorah didn’t want her to see any of it. “I’m so sorry, have you been waiting long?”​

 

[Professor Adorah Zumwalt]

Adorah found writing to be theraputic, even if it was just making to-do lists that were never accomplished. She didn't want to waste this break and planned to review for her OWLs and read ahead for the next semester. But all of that had been taking a backburner to what was going on outside of her academic career. This was the first time she was meeting her birth mother knowingly. It was all out on the table now, and she still wasn't sure how to process it. She couldn't deny that they looked a lot alike and had many similarities. It had made her think more about the whole "nature versus nuture" debate among muggles.

Hearing her name, Adorah looked up and took a deep breath as she saw Nadia coming towards her. It felt werid to see the woman who birthed her right in front of her, finally, after so long. It might have been easier if she couldn't see the resemblence through their eyes or nose, but they were here now. Together.

"No, not at all," she said with a nod towards the seat across from her. Grabbing her water, she took a sip as she tried to figure out what to say next. What had she really expected when she asked for this meeting? To chat? Catch up? Hell, she had been crushing on Aisa for over a year now and still hadn't taken a leap towards actually doing anything about it. Adorah cleared her throat as the glass returned to the table. She closed her journal and looked back up at Nadia. "Uh, how have you been?" she asked softly, trying to figure out a natural way to take the conversation.

 

[Nadia Kaster]

Nadia was thankful when she was invited to sit and did so happily with a sigh. It wasn’t that she was old, it was more that she was just getting older than she had been when she’d been happy to do all of the running around. Now she generally preferred to sit when she could because it was just easier that way. To be honest, she was really thinking of settling down more now that she had more reasons to stay around.

Nadia took a moment to properly settle into her seat before waving over a waiter for a tea. “Do you want anything else besides your water?” She always found it so much easier to talk when you could fill awkward silences with food and drink. It really was the best way to do anything. It just made a lot more sense than sitting there and staring at each other and hoping that they could carry on a conversation and not constantly look around for words to say.

The good thing about being a reporter was that Nadia was able to hold a conversation, at least most of the time. She just hoped that Adorah would kind of go along with that. “I’ve been very busy, actually,” Nadia said, shaking her head as she sighed a little. “Coming up to the christmas and new years time especially, people always want things now, now, now, despite how long it actually takes to do things,” she said with a bit of a laugh. “You’d think i would be used to it by now, but it sneaks up on me every year.” She didn’t even know how, she’d been doing this for so long now.

“How are you? How’s school? It’s your OWLS this year, right? How’s that going?” Merlin…Nadia hadn’t thought about her OWLS in years.

 

[Professor Adorah Zumwalt]

Adorah shrugged when Nadia asked if she wanted anything else. While her stomach was definitely growling, she wasn't sure she could stomach anything at the moment. Her nerves were shot, and she felt like one wrong move on her part could lead her into a panic attack. "I'm okay right now, but you can get something if you want," she said quietly. She wasn't sure why she suddenly felt like running away from the woman, but now that she was here in front of her, everything she had wanted to say went out the window. Thankfully, she had been thinking of questions to ask her - things she had been curious about over the years. Seeing as Nadia had mentioned her own adoption, she hadn't made much an effort to think of ways to ask about her biological grandparents.

"What are you writing about for the season?" she asked curiously. Her first venture into public writing had been surprisingly successful, and she was wished she had joined the paper a few years earlier. Although, at the time, she didn't truly have the nerve to do something so bold. People automatically judged your writing, and she was just now learning how to handle feedback better.

Adorah thought about how much she wanted to say. It felt weird filtering her life, but she didn't know this woman yet. And to be honest, she didn't trust her. Relationships are built, and blood didn't mean a thing to Adorah based on her past experiences. "It's okay. And yeah... OWLs are soon. I did pretty well on my coursework, but I'll have to wait and see how exams go at the end of the year." She hesistated but then continued. "But otherwise, I'm just busy with prefect duties and clubs." She neglected to mention anything about her sister or Aisa or other relationships. It would beyond too complicated to explain from the beginning, and Adorah wasn't sure if she could manage the energy. "So... I've been thinking about how to approach... all this," she said, making a small gesture with her hands. "I wrote down some questions I have that I thought might be better to talk about in person rather than write about. But you don't have to answer them if you can't or don't you want to. You can also ask me any questions you have." It was all just very weird, and Adorah hoped Nadia would be open to this method of getting to know each other.

 

[Nadia Kaster]

Nadia supposed she could understand Adorah’s hesitation even if it did kill her to see it. After all, these were new waters that they were exploring together and it was all still rather fragile. She wanted to be careful and not over do it and so when Adorah declined anything to eat or drink she nodded, but quickly called over a waiter to order a coffee for herself. It wasn’t much, but she’d always felt that eating in front of someone else was strange, and she’d never felt entirely comfortable doing it. This was the kind of thing she was used to though and she wanted Adorah to be as comfortable as possible too, however she might accomplish that she wasn’t sure, but she was going to try.

Nadia was pleased that she seemed a bit interested in her work. She wasn’t sure what kind of things held Adorah’s interest, but she definitely wanted to find out, as quickly or as slowly as that ended up being she wasn’t that worried, she just wanted them to get to know each other even if all of this was still a little bit awkward. “It’s a lot of the same really,” she started, thinking back over her articles. “Usually I do something really seasonal, on this day type things. You’d be surprised how much history happens during Christmas and New Years, though this year… I was actually working on something a little different. I’ve never had much of a family to speak of, not after I kind of forged my own path. Not that my adopted family weren’t lovely, but i decided to do a bit of a piece on family connections and the importance of reaching out, I kind of got the idea from you but I won’t be making any references to you at all, so you don’t have to worry, it’s more of a… look after each other and check in type of thing, you know just to keep things in the front of your mind.” She hoped that wouldn’t worry or upset Adorah, she didn’t know how the girl would take the news. She’d been working hard to hit the deadline this year and once this idea had come to her, the words had written themselves.

“Being prefect is a wonderful achievement Adorah, I’m sure you make Ravenclaw proud.” Nadia couldn’t hide the fact that the idea of sharing a house with her daughter was… more than she probably should be allowed to hope for. She knew she’d been absent in her life for a long time, but she wanted to be as present as she could be for Adorah now and that meant that she would be happy with whatever Adorah chose to give her. So she didn’t want to shy away from anything. “Okay, I like that idea. And the same goes for you, feel free to decline to answer anything I ask you, I’ll try not to ask anything that you might be uncomfortable with, but I apologise if anything I ask feels strange.” Nadia didn’t really know where the limits were here, this wasn’t an interview with a client, this was her child… whether she deserved the title of her mother or not, she felt it in her heart. She’d be for Adorah whatever she needed. There were no half arsed choices here. “What kind of questions did you have in mind?”​

 

[Professor Adorah Zumwalt]

Adorah subconciously tapped her notebook as Nadia told her about her writing endeavours. She hoped Nadia was being honest when she said her privacy would be protected, but there was still a part of her that was unsure. She didn't quite trust the women yet, but there also wasn't something that proved she was untrustworthy. "That sounds like something people might read," she said with a soft smile. "You could probably interview like families with members at St. Mungo's or something."

The Ravenclaw took a breath when Nadia agreed to asking each other questions. She wasn't quite sure where to start herself. Asking shallow things like "what's your favorite color" or "would you rather have cake or ice cream" seemed easy but the wrong place to start. Yet, asking too deep of questions also seemed like the wrong path. Adorah had written down so many things that she would eventually like to know, but the natural one seemed to pop out before she could hesistate. "I'd really like to know about my father. Even if it's just, you know, what he looked like." Adorah's relationship with the man she had called "dad" had never been great. He was a typical dad who focused on work and seemed to let her mother do most of the emotional work. At the same time, he was the one who had really pushed her out when things got tough. Even though they had been more accepting of Juniper, "the baby," she knew her father had never apologized because he didn't want to seem weak. Thoughts of her biological father made her wonder if he even knew about her or had been part of the decision in giving her up.

 

[Nadia Kaster]

Nadia was determined to enjoy this time, whatever time, she was going to have with Adorah. She had to admit that she was… a tiny bit nervous though she was pretty sure she was doing a good job of hiding that fact. At least she hoped she was. She didn’t want Adorah to feel nervous and the only way she could make her feel more comfortable, she thought, was to exude confidence. It wasn’t like this was a normal sort of situation and as much as she wanted to pretend this was easy, it wasn’t and she wanted to be fair and realistic about this. Even if that was going to be difficult. She wanted to be open and she wanted to be honest about everything.

Although even she could admit that there was one or two things she wasn’t ready to talk about.

“That’s not a bad idea, thank you, Adorah.” she already had a bit of an idea of what she was going to do, but she thought it was nice to thank her for input anyway. Besides, she didn’t know, maybe she would take her suggestion. There was only so much she could write before things became more difficult and there was always space for something heartfelt. She truly believed that. “There’s a lot of options for what I could do, I have a bit of a list of things I want to write about too, so I’ll add that.” she didn’t know a lot about what Adorah’s life had been like, though she got the feeling it wasn’t like what she’d always hoped and imagined for her. It hurt her to think that Adorah maybe hadn’t had this amazing life she’d imagined for her. Perhaps she should have made more of an effort? Whatever had happened, she couldn’t change it now, all she could do was hope that she could, in some way, help her now.

The first question Adorah asked wasn’t completely unexpected, though she hadn’t really been prepared for it. The moment she asked, the man in question flashed into Nadia’s mind. She never did find out what had happened to him. She’d tried to find him, but she’d never been able to. She was sure he was a muggle, but it was hard to say. She cleared her throat and nodded. “Of course, I can tell you a little. I don’t have a lot. I tried to find him a couple of times, but I think we both used fake names so… it’s been difficult.” she wasn’t sure how much of this she should be admitting, but she wanted to be honest and it was up to Adorah how she chose to take this information.

“We met whilst I was in Germany, of course. At a bookstore, which is probably not quite as unusual when you get to know me,” she started smiling slightly at the memory. “He went by Hans, though I don’t think that was his real name. He was funny - looking at you, I see a lot of him. You have the same eyes and some of your expressions are him too. We weren’t together for every long, he was a very busy person and I was… not that interested in him finding out more about my life. We kind of drifted apart before I even realised and then suddenly I was pregnant with you, but I didn’t know where he was.” there wasn’t much more to it than that really.​

 

[Professor Adorah Zumwalt]

Adorah shifted a little in her seat when Nadia began talking about her biological father. She was surprised to hear that the woman didn't seem to know much about him, even his blood status. Maybe Adorah was half muggle. Part of her had been hoping she would have been from two magic parents, and while none of that technically mattered, the not knowing part was what still ate at her. So many others knew their bloodline, and it seemed to be an important thing in the wizarding world. As the woman continued to speak, Adorah noticed similarities in their activities and likeness. It all still felt a little surreal. "Do you have a photo of him?" she asked curiously, sure to be disappointed yet again.

"Umm, I guess we can rotate. Do you have any questions?" she asked Nadia after writing down most of what was said in her journal. She wanted to make sure and keep track of any identifying information that could help her fill in all the gaps. And maybe they would never be filled in, but it was at least worth a shot.

 

[Nadia Kaster]

Nadia honestly wished she did have a picture of Hans for Adorah. She wished she had a lot of things for the poor girl. She’d never thought about how important it might be for her to know about her family until she was faced with the reality of realising her daughter just didn’t know anything. And nor did she.

Nadia hadn’t meant for things to end up this way and she regretted that they were going to continue in this manner because she simply couldn’t provide the kind of answers that would normally give someone the closure that they deserved, though she was now determined to find as much information on this Hans as she could. She had a funny feeling that wasn’t his real name though, so step one was figuring that out first. She was sure that with her connections and vast experience she would be able to come up with something, or at least she hoped that she could. It was all just a little bit up in the air right now.

Sipping her coffee, she shook her head in answer. “I’m sorry, I don’t. I wish I did.” They’d not been together for long and she hadn’t wanted the evidence in case the people following her had found it. It had been the safer option at the time, but now she wondered if it wouldn’t have been better to risk it… if only for Adorah’s sake. Her curiosity was admirable and there was no doubt in Nadia’s mind where the Ravenclaw had gotten that trait from. It was also something understandable, given she did not know her parents in her adoption as Nadia had. Though maybe it would have been even harder for her if she had. Always questioning, always wondering. There wasn’t a day that went by where Nadia didn’t wonder if she was still going to end up like them and she hated it. She never wanted Adorah to go through that.

Nadia had a lot of questions she wanted to ask, and a lot of answers she thought the girl might give, but she wanted to start small. She didn’t want to push too early and make her uncomfortable. Slow and steady, as they say. “Hm, tell me about your favourite subject at school. It’s been so long since I was in school I think I’ve forgotten almost everything.” Nadia had loved both Astronomy and Ancient Runes and she wondered if maybe Adorah was similar.​

 

[Professor Adorah Zumwalt]

Adorah wasn't surprised when Nadia declared there wasn't a picture, but at the same time, she was disappointed. It was becoming easier to see her genetics in Nadia, but it would be nice to know her other half. Clearing her throat, she knew easily how to answer Nadia's question. "I like astronomy. I'm not sure why, but it's just interesting to me. And ancient runes. And potions." Adorah didn't want to mention her struggles with more practical forms of magic like transfiguration and charms. It was like admitting she wasn't truly deserving of being a witch. "How long have you been out of school?" She realized that she really didn't know how old Nadia was, but she knew that she'd had Adorah relatively young.

"Umm, I have another question," she continued hesistantly, unsure how well her question would be received. "When we first met, I think you mentioned you were adopted." Adorah had remembered this piece of information because it helped her really trust Nadia in what she thought would be an investigate process. "Do either of your families know I exist? I mean, did you ever tell anyone?" Maybe Adorah was being too harsh towards Nadia, but she had been hurt by both groups of parents, and maybe if she still was welcomed by her adopted family, this would be a lot easier.

 

[Nadia Kaster]

This took me longer than I expected! Sorry!

The fact that Adorah liked Astronomy was nice, and she was enjoying seeing more and more of herself in the girl, though she didn’t know how much of that she would want to hear. She was sad she didn’t have more she could give her because she knew it must be hard not to know her family and even though Nadia sometimes wished she didn’t know her own family, given the things she knew about them, she didn’t think it was fair that Adorah had that choice taken from her. She would have to make an effort to figure out something she could give her, even if she just tracked down a name or figured out what happened to him. She was fairly certain Hans was still alive, mostly because she didn’t really know what he might have been hiding from, if anything, but she didn’t know where he could be. It was a source of interest for her that she knew she was going to have to follow up on now. If only for Adorah’s piece of mind.

Nadia took another sip of her drink and blew out a puff of air laughing lightly. “Longer than I’d like to be honest. It’s been some time since I’ve even set foot into the school.” She did a couple of quick calculations in her head and shook her head. “I graduated in 2032, it’s been just over twenty years now. God that makes me sound so old… I am old, what am I saying?” She’d been about twenty-three when she’d had Adorah, not that it made much difference, though she hoped that it would maybe explain some of her poor decisions. Not that she wanted to talk about all the bad decisions she made in her life, she was sure it would make her look worse than she wanted to appear.

The question about people knowing of her existence was an interesting one. There weren’t a lot of people who had known initially, but she’d told a couple of people since first learning of Adorah and she hoped that the girl didn’t mind. “In the beginning, when I first had you, my sister knew, my adopted sister. She’d been with me at the time and… yeah, so she knew, and she knows about all of this too.” It hadn’t exactly been an easy choice and Tamalia had supported her the entire time. “I’ve told a couple more people since I learned about you and I’m sort of in a relationship at the moment, he knows about you too.” She didn’t want to put any pressure on her, because she had plenty of time to want to get to know Nadia and her family if that was what she wanted. “There’s a couple of my family members that go to your school, anyone with the last name Kaster is related to you, but none of them know who you are at the moment because I didn’t want them to overwhelm you. If you want me to tell them about you, I’ll do it, but they’re a very… loving bunch. They can be very overwhelming if you’re not prepared and I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable or scare you away.”

There were also members of her biological family at the school, but she would sooner ignore that they existed.​

 

[Professor Adorah Zumwalt]

Adorah was surprised Nadia was that much older than she was because she sure didn't look it. In her mind, Adorah thought that maybe Nadia had been right out of Hogwarts or maybe even still in school when she became pregnant, which would, again, allow her to reason with her abandonment issues. But she still couldn't comprehend that unplanned pregnancy just happens, and not everyone is ready for that commitment.

The Ravenclaw suddenly felt overwhelmed as Nadia continued to speak about just how many people knew about her and also how there were people she could be connected with at school. She couldn't recall anyone with the last name Kaster off the top of her head, but maybe that's because she wasn't looking hard enough. And even then, they weren't really her biological family. Just another surrogate. Clearing her throat, Adorah closed her journal and pretended to notice the time on a wall clock that wasn't truly there. "I'll have to keep that in mind. I actually realized that I'm late for a meeting with a friend. I'm afraid I'll have to slip out." Adorah felt her heart beating faster, trying to subside an anxiety attack as she placed her bag on her shoulder with her things. "Thanks for meeting with me again, Nadia." WIthout a proper goodbye, Adorah quickly left the shop, trying to decipher all the feels that were rising to the surface.