Time for Roommate Rants.
Dear Roommate 1,
I love you dearly with all my heart, but I just cannot drop everything I'm doing any time you want to go to the store. You have to learn how to do things on your own without someone accompanying you everywhere. I wouldn't mind it so much if we just went to the one store you said we were going to, but it's never just one quick trip like you say it is. When we go to a store, you want to go to so many other stores and just 'browse.' Walking around every! single! aisle! when 1) we are here to get one specific thing OR 2) we know we're not going to buy anything is sooooo boring!!! I have much better things to do with my time!!!!! Stop wasting it please!! So no, I don't want to go with you to watch you get your nails done. Go on your own.
Love,
Your best roommate
Dear Roommate 2,
Next time, instead of texting us that the kitchen is dirty & smells, maybe just.....clean? it? yourself???? Wow what a concept!! Roommate 1 and I clean the kitchen ALL the time, and I don't mind picking up other people's messes because I'm a nice person! But I expect the same courtesy every once in a while. I know you're always at work or your boyfriends, but we are not the only people who throw things in the trash (which is probably where the smell you're talking about comes from wow). All I literally ask of you is to please throw out the trash every once in a while because I wash your dishes and clean up your kitchen mess when you try to cook for your bf, but you wanted to argue about how you took out the trash ONE time while me and Roommate 1 were out of town! (You only did it because we physically weren't there to do it for you). Last time I tried not to throw out the trash in protest, waiting for you or Roommate 3 to do it, and y'all never did!!! You let it pile up (4 bags!!) and I ended up throwing them out because I couldn't stand seeing them there any more.
Also, we are not setting up a cleaning chart. 1) We're grown ups and 2) we're not your employees to assign shifts to. Pick up the slack when we move into our next apartment please.
Love,
Your froomie
Dear Roommate 3,
I know we don't know you and you're the odd one out, but we are not the only ones who live here. Just because you moved in 6 months after us doesn't excuse you from cleaning duty. Clean up your mess too. Half the stuff in the fridge is yours only, you have more food than the 3 of us combined, so I know you use the kitchen a lot and throw stuff away. I even wash your dishes for you because I'm not gonna be petty and leave yours sitting in the sink while I'm washing all of ours, so do us a freaking favor every once in a while and throw out the trash!! I hear you come in and out of the apartment at all hours of the day, so there's plenty of time to make a pit stop to the dumpster. It is not that hard!!!! (I'm not a house elf!)
Love,
One of your random roommates you like to pretend doesn't exist