Repairing the Damage

[Amber Chou Wilson]

Amber's third year had been overshadowed by the rift between her and Ainsley, and now her fourth year was starting off with tension with another girl in her dormitory. Everything had seemed so much simpler in her first year, back when she had no problems making friends or keeping them. Had she changed? She didn't know, but her friendship with Ainsley was too important to her to let it slip away. Things were getting better between them, but there was still an awkward tension in the air. Now that her relationship with Wyatt was over, Amber hoped things would smooth out. But she had seen Ainsley kiss a girl, some girl Amber didn't even know. So now Amber had no boyfriend but Ainsley was seeing someone, and she had apparently not seen it as important to tell Amber.

But that was probably Amber's own fault. Her reaction to Ainsley's confession she liked girls hadn't been great, even now the idea made her a little nervous but she knew how important it was to her friend to be accepted. Amber had decided to show her acceptance loud and clear, by telling her she knew and approved of the girlfriend. She didn't know if she approved, honestly. She wanted to know who this girl was, how they had met, how long Ainsley had like her, how long they had been seeing each other and much more! But she had the feeling it would be better to take it slow, let Ainsley tell those things herself when she wanted to.

So now Amber was looking for her friend so she could discuss the situation and show how supportive she was. The gardens were a safe bet, as Ainsley loved nature. If not here, she might be at the wild patch club where Amber planned to check next. But to her relief, she spotted the familiar red hair in the distance and approached. It didn't occur to her until it was too late that their falling out had started in the gardens as well. Hopefully that didn't mean it brought them bad luck. "Ainsley, hi!" She said with a smile. "I was hoping I'd find you here, can we talk?"

 

[Ainsley Lynch]

Nowhere reminded Ainsley of home quite like the gardens. Lots of beautiful plants, forest adjacent, and now the spring blossoms were in full bloom, there was lots to do and see, and lots of beautiful flowers to smell. It felt like being back in the gardens at home, bird song all around, and mum inside working on the latest book she had to edit. The peaceful stillness was a welcome contrast from the strife of Ainsley's life inside the castle. Things were better with Amber, but still not how they used to be, there was a strange, uncomfortable tension between the girls in their dorm that Ainsley didn't quite understand, and though she had understood the accident, Ainsley still felt a little uncomfortable around Hayley, like she owed her more apologies.

Ainsley had never in her life expected growing up to be this hard, this complicated, and it was a struggle to know what to do around anyone these days. It was easier to retreat to the things that had brought her comfort as a child, the outdoors and fantasy novels, birdsong and daydreams. Ainsley was enjoying all four, sitting cross legged in a corner of the garden with an old favourite book that reminded her of home, slowly turning the well-worn pages and escaping away from all the stress of her real world social life. It took her a moment to even realise her name was being spoken. She tore her eyes away, surprised that Amber was here. Last time they had spoken in the gardens had been horrible, and the memory set Ainsley on edge, shutting her book a little too quickly. "Hi." She said in a small voice. "I... sure." She peered up at Amber from under her fringe, hugging her knees.

 

[Amber Chou Wilson]

Amber hadn't even noticed the book Ainsley was reading and felt a little bad for interrupting her like this. She gave her friend an apologetic smile before sitting down wiith her. It would be best to be on the same level for this conversation, even though she wasn't a big fan of sitting on the ground. "Hi." She said again, a little awkward. "Um, first thing I should probably update you on is ...I broke up with Wyatt. Or he broke up with me? It was a little of both." She told Ainsley, her nerves making her ramble a little and she twisted a lock of her hair around her finger. "You were right, I don't think I liked him as much as I should have, but I... I liked dating someone, and Wyatt is really nice. We're going to try to be friends." She murmured, she didn't want Ainsley to continue disliking him, but that wasn't really the point of this conversation. She took a deep breath. "I... have to tell you something else. I saw you, with that girl at the lake." She said slowly, not looking at her friend and instead focusing on the ground. "I just wanted to say you don't have to hide your relationship from me, it won't ruin our friendship okay? You can tell me about your girlfriend and introduce her to me." She looked up at Ainsley with a nervous smile. "What's her name? Tell me about her." A part of her still hated the idea of Ainsley dating someone, especially someone Amber didn't know, but it was more important to her to repair their friendship. She knew firsthand now how bad it felt to have your best friend disapprove so strongly of your relationship.

 

[Ainsley Lynch]

Ainsley hugged her knees to her chest, trying to relax. It still felt so strange being around Amber nowadays, none of the ease their friendship had carried in its early days. She missed those days, and knew it was her responsibility to try and be the one to reach out, to fix things, but Ainsley had no idea where to start. Talking to people didn't come easily to her at the best of times, and this whole situation was more complicated than she had any idea what to do with. Before she could think of anything to talk about though, Amber was already speaking. Ainsley was startled to hear of their breakup, and struggled to think of how she should respond. "Oh." She said hesitantly. She had thought she would be happier if they broke up, and part of her was filled with nervous excitement at the realisation that Amber was single again, but most of her was just worried about her friend. "Are... you okay?" She asked hesitantly, not sure what else to say.

It took Ainsley a long moment to realise what Amber was even talking about, regarding the girl at the lake. When she realised though, her heart dropped into her stomach. How could her luck be so bad, that Amber would just happen to see that embarrassing accident? "Oh! No!" She said nervously, mind racing. Amber really thought Hayley was her girlfriend? At least she was... trying to be nice about it, and for a moment a mean part of Ainsley's mind considered that she could carry on the fiction for a moment, see how Amber reacted in the position Ainsley had been in herself last year. That would be silly though, and impossible to carry on, and Amber... didn't feel the same anyway. She probably genuinely didn't mind, and Ainsley didn't want to pull cruel pranks on her anyway. It was too embarrassing to even talk about, let alone carry on a whole lie about. "No, no, that was an accident. Hayley's not my girlfriend, we're just friends. I was going to kiss her on the cheek, but she moved her head, it's not like that at all." She blushed hotly, covering her mouth. "I... it's not like that. Sorry."

 

[Amber Chou Wilson]

Amber could tell Ainsley wasn't completely comfortable either, and it made her really sad to see how their friendship had changed. As much as she wanted it, she had a feeling it wasn't going to be changed back to what it was before. Ainsley's reaction to Amber's breakup was a slight surprise to her, but she smiled at her friend gratefully when her first question was if she was okay. She had expected Ainsley to look relieved but she just looked worried, which showed how sweet she was. Amber nodded. "I'm fine. It was for the best." She said after a moment. "It was fun, and I'm glad for the experience, but we didn't have enough in common. I barely missed him over the holidays." She almost added how much she had missed Ainsley, but held it back. She didn't want to make the other girl feel guilty for not writing to her. Things had still been awkward, and Amber hadn't known what to write either.

Amber was startled when Ainsley started protesting her words and stopped, frowning. "Wait." She said, trying to make sense of what Ainsley was saying. "So... she's not your girlfriend?" She was oddly relieved about it, though she wasn't sure why. Maybe it was because that would at least mean that Ainsley hadn't hidden something so big from her, or she was just... glad not to have to share her friend when things were already so unsteady. Still, the idea that Ainsley had a friend she liked enough to kiss on the cheek when Amber didn't even know her name was disconcerting. "Oh." She said, processing the information. "Sorry to jump to conclusions. I thought... I thought you just didn't want to tell me because you would be afraid of my reaction." She said with a small, nervous shrug. Then she clasped her hands together and smiled. "Well! Tell me about your friend then! I don't think I know her, she's not in Hufflepuff, is she?" She asked, curious now. Even if they weren't dating, Ainsley didn't just kiss anyone on the cheek. Maybe she did like the girl? Amber hoped not, things were complicated enough as it was. "Not in our year either, right?" Amber was fairly sure she knew all of the girls in their year at least by face. "So... who is she?"

 

[Ainsley Lynch]

hi

The fabric of Ainsley's thick skirt rubbing between her fingers as she listened to Amber grounded and calmed the girl enough to pay attention to her friend's words. It surprised Ainsley somewhat that Amber would have gotten so distant from Wyatt over the holidays, though thinking back to how she had talked about him last year it made a little more sense. "I see." She said softly, still not sure what to say. A part of her that just kept getting louder and louder the last few years was overjoyed, but a much larger part of Ainsley was still worried about her friend. Even if Amber said she was fine, this was surely major in some way. No matter how hard she thought though, Ainsley couldn't figure out what else to say though, so she kept her mouth shut, looking down uncertainly.

Ainsley shook her head firmly, face flushed brightly beneath her hands. "No, no, she's just my friend..." She mumbled into her hands, eyes wide and nervous. "It's... no, sorry, I can't believe you saw that, it was so embarrassing..." She blushed, glancing up at Amber, then looking down again. Hayley hadn't complained, but Ainsley was still terrified she had somehow made things uncomfortable with one of her only other friends. It was a relief when Amber started asking about Hayley as her friend instead and she relaxed slightly, though couldn't bring herself to uncover her face. "She's... I met her last year, she's the year below us, she's in Slytherin. Her name's Hayley... she's an artist..." Ainsley trailed off, not sure what else to say about Hayley, still too embarrassed to uncover her face.

 

[Amber Chou Wilson]

The feeling she felt was definitely relief, and Amber's smile was more natural than it had been so far. She could tell Ainsley didn't really know what to say about the Wyatt situation, and that was fine with Amber. They didn't need to talk about that. Ainsley would just be uncomfortable and Amber would be embarrassed. It had been a nice time, honestly, and she still liked Wyatt as a friend. But she didn't think that was what Ainsley would want to hear.

The idea that the girl wasn't Ainsley's girlfriend was good, but her having a friend Amber didn't even know by name was disconcerrting. She wasn't sure if she had ever even seen the girl, and Amber thought she knew most faces by now. She tried to look supportive, and shrugged when Ainsley said it was embarrassing. "It's fine." She said with a smile. "If it was just a misunderstanding, I'll just forget I saw it." She joked with a small nudge. Listening to the description of the girl she gave, Amber couldn't help frowning a bit. A slytherin? An artist? Amber had friends in all houses except Slytherin. She mostly associated the house with Rory Fergusson, whom she disliked greatly. But it wasn't fair to judge the girl just because of her house. Still, she sounded kind of ...different from who Amber was. The idea of Ainsley having a friend that was so unlike her was odd. As was the possiblity that she did like her, which was certainly still possible. "Ainsley, if you do like her that way, that's okay." She said with a small encouraging smile. "I would never think badly of you. And I want you to be able to talk to me about things like that. I know I made you sad and uncomfortable with my surprise earlier, but you are good the way you are and I support you."

 

[Ainsley Lynch]

Ainsley was relieved that Amber didn't seem to want to talk about the breakup any more. Her relief that Wyatt was no longer taking up Amber's time warred with her worries about her friend. It was a complicated mix of emotions, and Ainsley knew she would need more time before she really knew how to handle this situation.

Amber was smiling when she said it was fine, but Ainsley had known her long enough by now to see that her smile was a little tenser than normal. She wasn't quite looking as she described Hayley, but Ainsley was sure she saw a flicker of a frown on Amber's face. Was she... jealous now? Just because Ainsley had another friend? She didn't want to make Amber feel excluded, but at the same time... Amber had so many friends, and spent so much time with them, and it felt strange that she would be so unhappy at Ainsley making a single new friend. But then Amber started talking about Ainsley liking Hayley again, and she shook her head violently. So that was it. "No! It's not like that, I don't like her that way. I don't even know her well enough to like her. She's just my friend, that's all." This was starting to get a little frustrating. Was Amber going to be this way with every girl Ainsley made friends with?

 

[Amber Chou Wilson]

Amber could tell Ainsley was frustrated with her line of questioning, but Amber thought that was a little unfair. She had seen them kiss, after all. It wasn't like she had made assumptions completely out of the blue. "Alright, alright." She said gently. "I only mean to say that it would be okay. I believe you when you say you don't. Like her., I mean." It was a relief, if she was honest. Though she wasn't sure why. Probably because relationships just complicated things, and their friendship had barely survived Amber dating Wyatt. This ... Hayley girl would surely just ruin more things. That had to be it. "I'm glad you're her friend, and she was there for you when... well, I couldn't be." She said with a sigh. "I mean, I wanted to be, but you didn't want me close." She said nervously. "But now I'm back again, we're best friends again. Aren't we?" She was nervous to even ask the question, but she had to be sure. What if this girl had replaced her in Ainsley's mind? Amber wasn't sure what she would do if that were the case.

 

[Ainsley Lynch]

Ainsley relaxed slightly when Amber relented on the Hayley issue. It was a little uncomfortable, to even think of her and Hayley that way. Hayley was definitely just a friend, it felt strange to even consider her any other way. "Good." She said a little awkwardly, padding her bare feet against the grass beneath. It still felt odd to be talking this way with Amber, the stilted awkwardness between them uncomfortable and unfamiliar. It sent a jolt of shock through her though, when Amber actually asked if they were still friends. "Of - are... do you want to be?" Ainsley's first instinct was to say of course they were, but it occurred to her halfway through that Amber may not want her as a friend anymore. The thought was unthinkably horrible, but what if it were true?

 

[Amber Chou Wilson]

Amber was shocked to hear Ainsley hesitate when she asked if they were still best friends. Did that mean Ainsley wasn't sure about that? Maybe she wanted Hayley to be her best friend now. But then the girl asked her if she still wanted to be, and she wondered if it wasn't simple insecurity from Ainsley's side. "Of course I want to. You're my best friend." She said with a bright smile. "I just worried you might not feel that way anymore. I know you were very angry and upset with me." She said honestly. "It scared me." There was no point in pretending it hadn't hurt. Keeping things from each other would just make it all the harder to reconnect. She still didn't think she completely understood what had hurt her feelings so badly, but she didn't want to open that conversation again. Not when they were doing so well.

 

[Ainsley Lynch]

Ainsley relaxed as soon as Amber said she still wanted to be best friends. "Me too." She said quickly. It surprised her as Amber went on though, that she had been scared for the fate of their friendship too. She knew that Amber valued their friendship, knew that this must have been stressful for her, but the part of Ainsley that had been jealous and angry about Wyatt was surprised that Amber had still cared about her so much. "I... I'm sorry." She said hesitantly, staring at her knees and thinking. "I never stopped wanting to be your friend. I got angry because I thought you stopped wanting to be friends." It wasn't the complete truth, and it was already well-discussed territory, but it was all Ainsley could think of to say.

 

[Amber Chou Wilson]

Amber was glad it was now out in the open that they both wanted to be best friends, and stay that way. But she didn't quite understand why Ainsley had thought anything different. Amber hadn't ever told Ainsley she didn't want to be friends anymore, and it had been Ainsley that started avoiding her after she told her Wyatt had asked her to the yule ball. Amber frowned slightly, touching her friend's shoulder gently. "I don't know why you thought that, I never wanted to stop being your friend. I'm sorry I made you feel that way." Though Amber felt like it was a little bit unfair of her friend to say it, she didn't want to cause an argument. Their friendship was fragile right now, and Amber was terrified to disturb the balance they had achieved. "Can we just put all that in the past? Best friends again?" She asked Ainsley with a small smile. "Forever."

 

[Ainsley Lynch]

Ainsley bit her lip, looking up at Amber uncertainly. The way she had acted and felt last year felt silly now, faced with this reminder of how important their friendship was to both of them. "I just... felt like you were replacing me. I know it's stupid. I get that now. I'm sorry." She sighed, looking back over at her knees. It was hard, adjusting how books had made her think about relationships, but she realised now that she had been looking at things all wrong. Being friends was what was important, to both of them. She smiled warmly as Amber said best friends again, meeting Amber's eyes. "Best friends forever." She agreed.