Dear school,
This year has been hard and I don't appreciate the teachers having meetings about my sickness. But I actually finally think I am becoming happy again with you. Please keep me happy. Perhaps I'll do my speech on Graves disease so people don't keep bugging me asking what it is?
So, I tried. Okay? I tried so hard to do this right. I literally killed my hand for this. It hurts to type. And then I went to my other exams like any other kid, and I tried just as hard as the other kids. So why do you need to complain about it to the other teachers? I am really sick of being at school now, being begged to change my handwriting, and then getting bullied by the other kids. I can't even talk about it to you guys, bcause whenever I see you you start rambling on 'oh how was that class, are you finding it okay? What about that one? And did you sleep last night?' HONESTLY, I DON'T CARE. I am pulling myself even further away from the real world and hiding on HNZ with my characters and everyone else, because the people on HNZ are the only people who won't bug me about it. Admittedly it is awesome to discuss things and get them off my chest, but to be going through it 5 times a day (more sometimes) is just too much. Can you not see how stressed I am? Oh yes, you have, because you talked to the freaking dean about it! And then I got pulled out of formtime! Well sorry, but I just want to be a normal kid, and even if my temperament is pretty abnormal for someone my age, I have to admit I want to be a kid with no track record and lying low, with no teasing and no pestering. I need a break, can you not see that? I don't even want to be living at home anymore, but I can't tell you about that because then you'll get mum and dad involved, and I really can't do that. Did you know my great nana is in hospital waiting for urgent surgery, and she may be coming back to live with us? Mum's her 'power of attorney', she is stressed enough planning out nana's live let alone coping with me. and somehow in July the exchange student is coming-- what if nana is staying here, then there won't be space for her!! And right now I need to focus on school to keep you happy, being polite and happy to keep the parents happy, plus work out how I'm meant to be happy? I went through a freaking suicidal stage when i was twelve. Not saying I am now, but I honestly think I could use a break. I'm not even able to eat anymore, I feel sick everytime I look at food and then feel guilty for eating it, and everytime my cousin sees me at school she comes and tells me to smile. I cannot smile, I don't have the energy after 2 hours sleep a night. I want to move to Canada with my family over there and get the hell outta Dunedin, because I'm really not coping. And I know I'll get in trouble if I move to Canada, because of that huge family argument thing. Well I don't care anymore, the family is always arguing so I on't see the point in covering it up. I'm sick of being a teenager and having to deal with the other kids all the time-- and you all wonder why I hate economics. I try so hard to be a good daughter mum, but I am completely sick of you and I can tell you are sick of me. So why do we just keep fighting? Why can't I run away one last time? A daughter shouldn't be scared of her mum. I'm sorry about Nana and everything, but I'm just as much family as she is. Friends, I'm sorry you have to see me acting like this, like a little kid again. It's what I do under pressure, maybe someday you'll understand. Choir; I swear she said I was singing out of tune. Honestly, don't. I got told that when I was seven. I don't need to be told again. Ciaran, I love you and always will. As my fiancee I hope you don't mind this stuff, I'm simply trying to survive year 11. Mrs Holmes, me saying that I want to survive NCEA as a goal wasn't a joke, I was serious. I hope I haven't worried you too much. And finally, HNZ. I wub j00 all to pieces for putting up with me when I'm in a grump, you are an absolutely fantastic community.
So, final point; family, bullies and school please leave me alone. Because never before have I wanted to curl up and hide away from human existance (but still with HNZ of course) and wither away.
Stop bugging me and leave me the heck alone! I didn't write that rude thing on the board. Yes, I was drawing stuff, but I didn't write that thing about boogers. So leave me the heck alone.
~Innocent Ilana JX,
You're being mean. And I know you think it's funny but it's offensive to some people. Like me. STOP IT!
Excuse me, but why do you act like you're embarrassed to be seen with me? The only time you actually act like my best friend is on the bus or when we're alone. It's really annoying. And even though I can't stay mad at you for long, please act like your old self, not caring what anybody thinks about you. Not afraid to be your crazy self.
Ok please stop coming to me for help when you can sort it out yourself, i dont mind being there for you BUT when i give you great advice you dont take it and then later on you come back for help than it starts all over again, i told you not to date him, i told you not to trust him, i told you not to leave him and her alone, I TOLD YOU! and you didnt listen to me and now look at what has happened, so please PLEASE! just take my advice and treat the other him better he loves you and has come to me for help since he thinks you dont like him anymore so PRETTY PLEASE just clean up your act and start listening to me or i will no-longer be there for you since i am treated like i am not needed.
From The friend that is getting angry at how you treat them and others.
Please stop slicing into my fingers, especially when it's cold. It's rather painful.
Sincerely, paper-cutter.
Dear Car.
It would be great if you didn't run out of petrol in the middle of the road again. It was rather embarrassing and traumatic.
However, God did come to the rescue. Thankyou for allowing Him to put in that little bit extra so I could get you off the road.
But try not to do it again.
I love you all so freaking much. I wish I was older and lived out of home so I could be cool and not have to call my mum and get in trouble for staying out, but you put up with me and it's okay. To David Bowie, you are sexy but you also happen to be one of the coolest people in existance so please don't instigate any awkwardness after last night, cause I don't care about what happened as long as we're still friends. To 11 and Amy, don't be sad, be awesome instead! And to Hiro, gonna miss you so much, man.
Dear self.
It's just a needle, right? You've been stabbed by dozens of jabs in your life, you shouldn't freak.
But then, it's so fxxxing scary too. You had a panic attack thinking about it.
Look, just try. 'kay?
-me.
I don't know what will happen when we work next, but tonight I had to see you....and yet I ignored you, because I decided to treat you how you've been treating me. A small part of me wants to believe that you are acting cool towards me because you think that putting up barriers will hide your feelings. Do you have feelings for me? I am curious..because you're hot...and then you're cold. Like the Katy Perry song. Hot N Cold. That is you.
You make my heart flip flop, and it would be better if you didn't like me. When we work next, I shall have my barriers up again, and you'll see how it feels. Or perhaps I should play the seductive one? I don't know. Don't spurn me.
Sincerely,
That nerdy chick that wore my blue dress for you. ♥
Stop panicking! You are getting far too worked up about this. You enjoyed Saturday night, now don't let that be tainted by worry. Everything is going to be fine. Just act natural. If you don't freak out, he probably won't either and you won't lose a friend. Just BREATHE.
Sincerely, your brain. Who is currently suffering a lack of oxygen.
P.S. Don't worry about the other guy, either. How were you meant to know he was vaguely interested? He'll talk to you again and you can explain the situation for the good of both of you. And he'll be okay with it and if not, at least he may lose interest?
P.P.S. Stop thinking about him. How can you act natural if you keep thinking about what happened? You're more sensible than that.
Leave Megan alone you brat,, can you not see the what Rob said was a JOKE!!! get over the fact that Megan laughed IT WAS FUNNY, and stop trying to blame 'God' because he made you a girl and it your 'time of month' that doesnt matter, if you have forgotten Megan and I happen TO BE GIRLS! its facinating that after Megan calls your boyfriend a scumbag and she laughs at something funny that you didnt like your time of month suddenly kicks in and you act like a total ***ch to us it NOT on, if you do itagain i'll show you what it means to be ***sedoff!
Sincerely, LilMiz
Dear Megan
Please stop the worrying im fine, im just a little down at the moment and a bit pale and the usually pain in the joints and lack of sleep but other than that im fine ok Duickk will help through this dont worry she is great comfort to me, but your constate worrying and asking how im feeling is very annoying not that i am angry at you for worrying but you have more important stuff to worry about ok
~Tenile
P.S sorry that i made you tell me..... but its ok i wont tell
Dear Amy
Amy you have hated everyone for a long time, and i have NEVER said anything to you or about you EVER and then you pull this **ap on me?! for really come on leave me alone, leave Megan alone leave Dillan alone leave Jesse and Kevin and everyone else especially my sister, AMY! im warning you NOW that if you keep this up then you will have a REAL reason to hate me on Wednesday im going to tell you this and if it doesnt sink into the mush of a head you have then you will pay, only I and I alone can tease ANYONE in my family thankyou that is MY job not a little runt like YOU ares job OK? do you understand, thankyou
Tamalia
Dear My Awesomificationists! WARNING MILD SWEARING INVOLVED COULD NOT COMPLETELY TAKE OUT AS THE LESSON MIGHT NOT MAKE SENSE, IF YOU HATE MILD SWEARING I ADVISE TO SKIP SOME AREAS OF THIS FOLLOWING NOTE THANKYOU, NOW PLEASE DONT COMPLAIN TO ME ABOUT IT AS I HAVE CLEARLY POINTED IT OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thankyou for our 'meeting' and for working day and night to invent 'The Math Lesson' i am now sharing it with HNZ
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint What makes 100 percent? What does it mean to give MORE than 100 percent? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100 percent? We all have been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over one hundred percent. How about achieving 103 percent? What makes up 100 percent in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions;
If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11= 98 percent
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5= 96 percent
But
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 =100 percent
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20= 103 percent
and look how far this one will take you,
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7= 118 percent!
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while HARDWORK and KNOWLEDGE will get you close, and ATTITUDE will get you there, its really the BULLSHIT and ASSKISSING that will put you over the top i love it its so funny .
Last one
Dear person who made the game Rock/Paper/Scissors
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock.
Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class?
I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that junk up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, Idiot!
Seriously, go away. I don't want you in my life, nor have I ever wanted you.
I have to write an essay, and cannot think with you here. So please. Leave me alone.
Stop freaking out about this and wishing you didn't do it you know you want this...badly. Nothing in life is ever simple so just get your act together and do something about it. You need to stop getting all depressed about it you know no one cares and you're not going to get any sympathy so stop looking for it
i been looking and thinking about you alot of late. in the hours i can not see you all i can do is think " why can i not just talk to you and say how i feel?"
please just give a thinking my way once.
oh well i think i love you.
you are very beautiful and loving towards everyone and thing.
Excuse my language, but s*** stirring isn't cool, and telling me that somebody likes me again is just over the line. He has a girlfriend, and you know that I don't like him.
So leave it.
By telling me this, a lot of people could end up hurt, and single, or maybe that's what you want?
This is precisely why I feel distant from you...BECAUSE YOU WON'T LET ME BE. It's my life. I want to have some fun and be eighteen for once. You should understand that I want to be carefree. I have gone through so much with my parents deaths and having to hire a lawyer and handle the stress of both sides of the family bickering over EVERYTHING. It's time for you to let me do what I want to do. And I am being semi responsible. I crashed at their house because everyone was to drunk to drive. So, I'm not completely stupid.
I want to have fun, and not have you sitting their silently judging me. That's why I don't want you to come with me. You mope and brood and it's freaking aggravating.
So, if you want to be mad and hang up on me....fine. Just remember that you totaled your car and you are driving mine. I can take it away if I want too, and you can't do a thing about it. Tread carefully, I'm not stupid.
The very first thing you should know about me is that I'm moody and stupid. Seriously. I don't behave well and don't adhere to convention. I haven't a clue what to do when it comes to things like this and I hate confrontation, so rather than telling you straight out that no, I don't see you in that way, even after Saturday night, I just acted immature and b!tchy. I am ashamed of myself, I admit. I'm sorry to have done that to you, you really didn't deserve that.
And I'm going to tell this to you when I speak to you next. Dear You,
Okay, lay off me alright? You say you are still holding out hope. It's been six months, you're a fool. I'm not going back to you, because even if I have forgiven you, and you have forgiven me, there is too much history between us. It would never work.
You need to move on. For both our sakes. Because I can't move forward with you hanging around, stuck. I thought you were going to join the navy. And instead you're still here, flipping god-damned burgers and not going anywhere with your life. In my opinion, going in to the armed forces would have been the best thing to happen to you. Because it would have given you some purpose and an occupation and something to do. So you can lecture me about my bad behaviour all you like, but all you do is make yourself like a jealous fool who can't handle his ex girlfriend flirting or even talking to other males. You are an idiot. Please stop inviting yourself along wherever I go. You're my friend, really, but I've had enough and I'm really glad you live on the other side of town now, if only because it means I don't have to see you nearly as often.
Also, I'm going to Muse without you. kthx. I'm stuck going to Powderfinger with you, I'd rather go see my favourite band without you hanging over me. I mean, it was bad enough at the bar last night when I was trying to talk to Nick and you were just there, being overprotective, making me feel incredibly awkward. It was bad enough with me trying to avoid Brant, and I suppose in a drunken way I was encouraging it, but still. Please, give up on me. I gave up on you. Dear Mr Bellamy, sir,
I look forward to hearing your music and staring lovingly at you in December. ♥
Seriously **** off. How could you say something like I think we should get a small dog get all my hopes up and then take it away just because you feel like it. You know how much I want a pet and to play with my hopes like that is just cruel. Another thing, dad has every right to go see his sister, how dare you say your going to file for divorce if he does. You go to see your sisters all the time. Don't call one of my aunts a stupid ***** or a shitty mother because theres lots of things we could say about you and your family.
From Your Pissed Off Daughter
P.S. If you call me 'lazy swearwordofchoice' one more time I will punch you in the face.
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