Closed Covering Our Hearts With New Tattoos

Linden thought for a moment. "I will see what i can do when she comes back" he said. Before he was distracted by the sketchbook. he looked at the three buttercups. all similar in shape and layout but different colours. "these are beautiful cas" he said they were better than he had hoped for. he wasn't quite sure on the colour scheme of the middle one. he knew what cas had been aiming for but he wasn't sure how well it would show up but the other two. he tried to picture them. The black and white one was nice. but his eye kept drifting to the full-colour one and he wondered how many drafts had been discarded in order to get these three flowers. . "I love them which is your favorite?" he said before he lifted caspers hand to his lips and kissed it. not noticing that the waitress was making her way over to them with the drinks. looking a little less smiley than she had done a few minutes ago.
 
Casper laughed shyly. "You don't have to right now," he hedged, fidgeting a bit. He felt silly- was he romanticizing the possessive thing in his head? He knew it was a bad trait, not one he'd want in his boyfriend, but... the thought of Linden wanting him so much, of laying a claim on Casper... after being so alone for most of his life, it just sounded... nice. Within reason, of course. He shook his head to clear it, turning his attention back to Linden and the tattoos. He blushed as Linden kissed his hand, smiling softly. "Artistically I like all of them, but I think for your skin tone and vibrancy," He tapped his finger on the first one. "I prefer this one, but I wanted to make sure you had options. This is your decision, Lin, not mine."
 
Linden thought for a moment. To be honest he was finding it cute that the waitress was hitting on his boyfriend. It wasn’t like she would get anywhere and cas could do with the confidence boost. He listened as cas said his preference on the designs glad that he too liked the bright one best good, that is my favourite too. The black and white one is a close second. I think I prefer it as a picture But I think a bit of colour would be better for a tattoo he said.
it was then that the waitress reached their table. With her tray containing two glasses of drink fruit stuck on the edge and a small plate with two rice paper rolls on it. She put them on the table and lin smiled at her reaching in his pocket for his phone. ”thank you. Would you be able to get a picture of us. My sister always complains that I never take him out anywhere. We just stay at home and eat pizza he said handing it to her before leaning in and putting one arm around cas his drink in his other hand before smiling at the camera.
 
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Casper smiled as they discussed the tattoos, nodding. He should know by now to just follow his gut- forcing himself to do the other two had been noble but ultimately pointless. "I think these colors especially will look good against your skin." He offered, blushing slightly as he said it. "Do you want to see mine, as well?" He asked, but was interrupted by the waitress returning. He smiled shyly, pulling the sketchbook back so she could set things down.

His eyes flashed to Linden, widening as he asked for a picture. Casper swallowed hard but couldn't bring himself to protest, instead folding his hands in his lap and smiling almost awkwardly for the picture, his heart pounding. Once the waitress had returned the phone and left, he frowned at Linden. "I really wish you wouldn't do that," He told him softly. "I hate doing things just for Tara's sake," He looked away, clutching at his sketch book defensively. He was nervous already, involving the waitress just to prove a point to Tara did nothing to help his nerves. A tiny part of him worried for a moment that all of this was just to spite their sister- dating, going out, but Linden wasn't that cruel, and Cas was sure there were some things that Linden did with no regards to what she may think of it.
 
Linden couldn't help smiling at cas. especially as he offered to show him the other style "I would love to see your snowflake? snowflakes?" he said but before cas could show him the sketchbook was snapped shut to make space for the drinks.
he noticed how uncomfortable Cas seemed as they took the picture and looked over at him quizzically. "do what?" he asked. Before cas explained. "that wasn't forTara's sake. The sister was an excuse. I was trying to help with the waitress flirting by being possessive without being too, well, possessive. plus I get another cute picture of us to add to my wall." he said, he had started putting a few up. a few of them in Germany, from Christmas, a couple at school, one from graduation, one of cas holding the keys to his apartment up proudly while balancing a big box that he dropped seconds after the picture was taken, and one them both asleep on the sofa at home that someone must have taken, after new years, and cas sketching with lapis curled up on his lap.
he brought the picture up on the screen and showed it to cas though he was a little disappointed by how uncomfortable cas looked. "And the sister I was referring to was ivy, not tara. she thinks all we do is eat pizza. and said if I love you I should take you out on more dates.". he said thinking how simple seven-year-old logic was.
 
Casper let Lin go on, thinking over his words. He considered what the man said, before shifting. He stood, pushing his chair over to be next to Lindens, stealing his phone again. "Well, let's try that again," He offered, leaning in. "Smile," He told Lin, looking much more relaxed and giving a more genuine smile now that they were alone. He snapped a quick picture, before switching to video and turning his head to press a kiss to Lins cheek. "I love you," He murmured, nuzzling into Linden again. He smiled softly, before ending the video and giving the phone back to Lin.
 
Londen was a little worried that he had said too much. That he was digging himself into a hole. however the change in Caspers expression was the opposite. he seemed to relax and soften again a smile lighting up his face. he put his arm around cas as he moved closer and was just leaning into him when he took his phone. "Cas" said though he was closer to laughing than any kind of scalding. before smiling up at the camera like he was instructed. and was sure that the picture cas took was far better than the one that the waitress had taken. he watched as cas turned it to a video he smiled as he felt the tickle of hos hair and breath against his lips. Turning slightly as cas decided to kiss him. he kissed his man right back. "Love you too" he whispered in Casper's ear before letting cas go as he ended the video. "I really mean it." he said. taking his phone back and looking at the picture. "Definitely a keeper." he said. "now where were we? Oh yes, bright yellow buttercups and snowflakes" he said. "Can i see the rest of your designs?" he asked. He had been itching to see them. and it had taken so much willpower not to seek a peek at some time when cas left the book unguarded. but he had managed to resist.
 
Casper smiled, not bothering to move away from Linden again, instead hooking his foot around the mans. "Sure thing, snowflake," He agreed, flipping open his sketchbook again and turning to the page after the buttercups, showing Linden several different snowflakes. They were all surprisingly simple, the first one having nine points and each one after similar in design but with more points. He fidgeted a little. "One point for each month we've been together," He explained. "Twelve points for one year... I wasn't sure when we'd get them," He folded his hands in his lap and looked away, blushing. "I was hoping to get another one every year, slowly work them over my collar,"
 
Linden looked at the flurry of snowflakes across the page. it took him a moment to work out the difference between them however when cas pointed it out it seemed very obvious. he listened to caspers explanation and reached his fingers out unable to help himself from touching them they seemed so pretty. "Who'se the sentimental fool now. he said. "I defiantly like this one best" he said pointing to one of the nine point ones. "It is a very lovely idea" he said taking his glass in his hand "cheers to making an entire blizard of memories across your shoulder" he said taking a sip of his drink. "ooh that isn't bad. not as sweet as i thought it would be but really refreshing," he commented, imagining they would be very nice un summer..
 
Casper rolled his eyes, smiling softly. "I like that one, too," He agreed. Cas giggled softly as Linden talked about a blizzard. "Maybe we'll turn you into a flower patch," he teased, before taking Lindens drink and sipping it. "Oh, you're right, that is good," He agreed, smiling and taking another sip.
 
Linden was glad cas liked the nine pointed snowfate too. there is something mor even and balences about it he said after a moments consideration. we will de he said as cas joked about getting a collection of flowers. He has sort of pictures only having one lying across his collar bone and he didn’t want to cramp it but maybe the idea would grow on him or he work’s have a better idea.he was a little supprised when cas drank from his drink. hey. You’ve got your own glass reaching for Caspers and taking a sip and they taste exactly the same he added.
mug was then that the waitress appeared with her tray loaded with multiple dishes. She put them down one at a time saying what they were but lin was not keeping track, one was roast sweet potato with some thing. Another was a stuffed tofu and there was one that looked like a pancake that can be with a salad among others. wow. This looks amazing [/B]he said eyeing everything not sure where to start first.
 
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Casper chuckled, taking another pointed sip of Lindens drink. "Oh, but that's where you're wrong, this tastes so much better knowing it's yours," He teased, cradling the cup. He looked up when he saw the waitress returning, and was quick to stash his sketchbook behind him in his chair. He looked over the food as it was laid out, thanking her gently before turning his attention back to the food. Cas grabbed a bite of something- what, he wasn't sure- and he held it out for Linden, a playful grin on his face. "Open up,"
 
Linden picked up Caspers drink and took a sip. you are right. Yours does taste so much better he said claiming the glass for his own. Suddenly the pictures were vanished back into the pages of the book as the waitress returned.
he picked up some things onto his plate and had just had a mouthful of some roasted vegetables th at had been marinated in something delicious when cas was holding a loaded fork out to him and telling him to open up. He reached out to take the fork then stopped seeing Caspers expression are we really going to be that couple? he asked before rolling his eyes and opening him mouth as directed. Chewing the food as it arrived letting out a hmm of appreciation. before grinning you have to try this. But then we should stick to feeding ourselves or we will be late. Open up he said loading some more of the vegetables onto his fork before holding it out to cas.
 
Casper laughed lightly, oddly pleased when Linden took a bite. "Come on, it is a bit romantic." He teased, accepting the bite easily. He wanted to go on that way, share a few more bites and soft words, but Linden brushed him off. Cas tried not to be too disappointed, instead reminding himself that he was being silly. He shifted a bit, scooting his chair away some to give Linden room to eat. Cas focused on his own meal, trying a few different things from the spread of food in front of them.
 
Linden took another mouthful. This time trying a noodle dish. Which again was delicious. As Casper moved away from him. sorry. You’re right it is romantic and this is a date and we should be romantic. I just don’t want to be late he said. Breaking off a bit of the crispy pancake and adding toppings to it including the mint that was meant to be with it. Making it into a mouth sized piece. Before handing it out for cas. how is this? he asked smiling a flirty half smile.
 
Casper was distracted from his meal as Linden spoke. He looked up, about to say there was no need to apologize, but the bite being offered was too tempting. He took it easily, shutting his eyes a moment to savor it and smiling softly. "What do you mean, late?" He asked after he'd swallowed, taking a sip of his drink. He wanted to prepare another bite for Linden, but after the slight stutter over it he felt a bit awkward, torn. Did he really need to be so hung up on little things like this? Casper had pulled into himself a bit without realizing it, internalizing again.
 
Linden made a portion of the pancake for himself and ate it. there was a crispness in the pancake, a sweetness in the marenated mushrooms and the freshness in the mint. "we are defiantly coming here again. it is going to be our secret date place" he said thinking it would be fun if they kept this place as just for them. Their own little secret.
at Casper's question, he looked down. "That is why I have been maybe rushing us a little all evening. I have made us a booking for later. and I don't want to be late" he said. he paused. "I'm sorry, Buttercup, we do still have plenty of time, we don't need to rush, Let's enjoy it." he said shuffling towards cas. and taking his hand once again glad that their different handedness meant they could hold hands while eating without either of them having much trouble.
 
Casper chuckled, smiling at Lin before looking around. "What if we get a booth next time?" He asked, his eyes roaming the restaurant before nodding at the booth in the back. It was a little smaller, but it curved around the corner and he could guess it had a nice view out the window. "We could make that one our spot," He nodded towards it, pointing it out to Linden. "It's good for cuddling, nice view, good ambience," He smiled shyly, trying to banish the thought that it added a bit of privacy, the image of them curled up together and feeding each other little bites of dinner until they were full, tired, ready to go home and curl up under the covers and let the starlight lull them to sleep.

Casper cleared his throat, taking a drink to try and focus himself. He relaxed slightly as Linden clasped their hands, interlocking their fingers automatically and smiling at the man. Cas looked down at his food, then back to Linden, then down again, toying idly with his silverware as he thought. He was lost in thought, trying to sort out why he felt uneasy. "I don't like this," He murmured, almost to himself. He hesitated, looking up to Linden and studying the mans face.

Casper knew Lindens' face well- the curve of his jaw, the line of his cheekbone, that one rich, earthy brown curl that always fell into his eyes no matter what he did with his hair. Cas could feel the effort that had gone into this... the effort that Linden put into everything. Into Germany. Into tonight, into the ink Linden planned to place on his skin when Caspers' first commission came in. The way Linden had rejected Casper's invitation to move in, insisting that Casper have the space to discover himself outside of their relationship.

"You're beautiful," He murmured, reaching over to brush back that stray curl, smiling gently as it just fell right back. Cas felt like he was on the edge of figuring something out, but he didn't know what it was. He'd been ignoring his food, staring at Linden, his mind wandering. "I don't give enough for you," He commented softly, an observation more than anything. He brought his free hand up, rubbing his fingers gently over his heart. "I want to do more..." He murmured, still staring absently at Linden as his mind raced.
 
Linden chuckled as cas sugested next time they get a booth and make it their table. "I am liking that idea. then we can just be us without havingto be as on display" he said. despite the fact that it was the 50's he was very aware that they were a gay couple and had a tendency of being rather affectionate towards each other. which he was fairly sure tended to attract a bit of attention, even if it was only his imagination the idea of others watching them made him a little self concious. then again, a straight couple being that affectionate would probably also draw a bit of unwanted attention. "I like that idea, and you're right that is the most superior of tables" he said. before lifting caspers hand to his lips and kissing it.
he ate a few more mouthfuls unaware of casper watching him. until casper spoke. "then don't eat it. we have plenty of different things and we wont order it next time give those little leaf things a go. you have ot unwrap them first" he said concentrating on trying to maneuver a dumpling from a plate to his mouth with chopsticks without dropping it only to realise that the way he was holding it was going to make it awkward to bite it as it was more than one mouthfuls worth. he put it down and before he could try again he felt a hand on his cheek "So are you" he said looking at his man for a moment not sure what he was reading in his expression but the intensity behind it made him want to look away. "Cas you don't have to give me anything, and you already give me so much. i don't want any more from you" he said not sure where this was going. "what more do you want?" he asked. whatever it was he would try and make happen for cas.it was then that he looked up at cas properly and saw the expression in his face. "what's wrong?" he asked putting the chopsticks and failed attempt of eating the dumpling down so that he could focus on cas.
 
Casper chuckled. "Hey, I have good ideas sometimes," He murmured, squeezing Lindens hand. It would be good to have their own spot at their secret spot.

Casper was staring a bit, half listening as Linden spoke. He hummed softly, not really replying at first but still rubbing his hand absently over his heart. "It..." He chewed on his lip. "I'm not sure," He admitted slowly, before sighing and dropping his gaze to his food. "I'm not... something isn't..." He sighed in frustration, taking his hand back and scooted his chair closer, leaning in to rest his head on Lindens shoulder. "I... feel like..." He struggled, capturing Lindens hand again, lacing their fingers before bringing their hands up and pressing the back of Lindens hand to his cheek. He was silent a moment, his other hand coming up to trace absent patterns on the skin of Lindens wrist. "It's... I feel like..." He sighed, burying his head in Lindens shoulder.
 
Linden chuckled at caspers comment about good ideas "you don't need to sound too supprised" he said.
As he waited for cas to say something he could see that something was going on inside that was trying to get out. he seemed like one of Willows music disks that was stuck repeating the same thing over and over again not quite sure where to go from there. he let cas lean against him and reassured him as besrt as he could. "it's okay baby, don't stress yourself, you don't have to say anything now" he said as cas took his hand and held it against his face. he used his free hand to take Caspers fork and load up a mouthful of food before navigating it towards Casper. "you are safe here. I've got you" he said soothingly.
 
Casper was trying to figure it out, shifting slightly as Linden offered out a bite, moving the arm he'd captured so that it was more in his lap, slipping his free hand in Lindens elbow before leaning in to take a bite. He noted absently that it was good, rubbing his thumb against Lindens skin. He swallowed his food, and tried to force himself to figure out what was going on in his head. "I... There are parts of me that... have just been shut off for so long... I'd forgotten they even existed... but..." He hesitated, his voice soft as he tried to put what he was feeling into words.

"The longer... you're here, I just... I... want to be close to you, but... it's like... you're uncovering pieces of me I... didn't know I had..." He bit his lip, his hold on Linden tightening slightly. Casper stared at nothing in particular, feeling conflicted. "It's... it feels like... I'm holding back, like I'm not giving you everything... but I want to, I just... don't know really... what everything is... I don't like it," He turned his eyes back up to Linden, a hint of anguish and tears welling up.

"I... I love you, Linden... I don't think I can be without you... if... anything happened... I can't lose you," He whispered, holding Lindens arm tightly. "Sometimes I- I feel as if it's all a dream, and if I close my eyes you'll be gone..." He lowered his eyes, looking away bashfully. He felt almost overwhelmed with the emotions, and struggled to hold himself together. "You are far, far too good for me, Linden Cullen," He managed gently, his voice breaking a bit as he said it.
 
Linen listened as cas tried to explain what he was feeling. "Okaaayy" he said as casper paused in what he was saying unsure on where this conversation was going. but not sure if he would like it. and as casper started to talk
I want to be close to you to buttercup. But if you need to take things slower, to take time and examine each of those uncovered pieces we can do, we have all the time in the world" he said. he held onto cas as he spoke tightening his grip in response to Caspers. as he continued to talk. "you don't need to give me anything, I love you and love everything that you do give. but don't want you to give more than you feel comfortable. and if you are still working that out then that is fine" he said right suddenly painfully aware that he was caspers first proper relationship. and where he had had a few boyfriends before and each of the relationships had been good while they lasted caspers history was a little more tumultuous. but as the man looked at him he could see tears in his eyes. he took his napkin and dabbed them slightly before kissing his forehead. "I love you too Casper. Don't worry. I will always be with you. you won't lose me. I can pinch you to prove it's not a dream." he said running his arm down caspers arm before shaking his head slightly as cas said that he was fat to good for him. "no I'm not. no one is too good for you. I am lucky to have you' he said that was something he was certain about.
 
Casper sighed, soothed by all of Lindens words. He shifted to sit up, pressing a hand to Lins face and pulling him in for a sweet kiss. Cas lingered close, rubbing his thumb against the mans cheek. "We don't need to slow down, Linden," he murmured, before pulling back enough to grab Linden a bite of food, offering it out for the man. He rubbed his thumb against Lindens hand where their fingers were intertwined.

"I... feel a little silly saying it... but I want us to be closer," He murmured, before rushing to explain. "I want to spend the night laying with you, mapping out the freckles on your skin, with just the starlight to keep us company. Or to relax in front of a fire, fingers toying with your hair while we watch the flames. Or even just laying in our most comfortable pajamas, quiet and counting the stars..." He blushed, looking away again as he said it.
 
Linden kissed cas back. Enjoying the taste of him mixed with lemongrass and mint savouring the moment and it's almost shy delicate feel. "good. Because i don't really want to" he whispered as cas said he didn't want to slow down. he felt Casper move away but then he returned with a mouthful of food. "ooh that one was really good" he said. Looking to see what it was though it was hard to know as he hadn't seen it. .
At Caspers next comment he stopped and leaned back looking at cas confused "closer?"he asked surprised with the request. he was closer to Casper than anyone else. "we are close. whenever were together we need ar least two points of contact" he said. However, as cas described what he meant he let a smile soften his expression. "that all sounds amazing" he said. "we can do all of those things." he said.
 
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