Hello and welcome to your first edition of the new and spectacular 'Rumor Has It' Gossip Magazine. And we know how much everyone loves gossip, what with posters going around the school, whispers whispered, and she-men uncovering wolfey secrets. So here you have it. Read, be shocked, and enjoy.
T H E S K A N K, P U P P Y A N D T H E T R A N S G E N D E R
H A V E Y O U H E A R D ? Now, we all know about Briar Rowan's werewolf issues, but that's old news, and if I'm not mistaken, pretty boring. I want to move past this minor moment of Rowan's furry problem, and focus on what a certain Slytherin put on the other part of the poster. Briar Rowan is a skank. One half of this story will be covered in a minute, but let's start with Jaden West. Almost everyone knows that Rowan and West hate each other. But, behind closed doors, do they really? There is definitely something unusual about West, what with her choosing to look the way she does (male much?), and her strange obsession with Rowan; she was even overheard standing up for the wolf at the Yule Ball. This is definitely cause for rumors of why West called Rowan a skank. Perhaps jealousy of the dog's relationship with Minoas Stratis caused the outburst? Want to know why the she-male went nuts over the dog's relationship with the second year Gryffindor? | H A V E Y O U H E A R D ? As far as I have seen, many times mind you, the second year seems to be the one acting more or less like as puppy and following the bigger dog around! Makes me wonder if Briar Rowan has infected the young Gryffindor cub with her vicious bite. Steer clear of them, but chances are, they are always together! What other explanations do you need? Briar also was seen with a male during the holidays. Was this Minoas? Are they perhaps...in love? This is what I call a love bite. When Briar is done with Minoas (and we all know that she will be eventually once she gets 'bored'), she'll chew him up and leave him as trash. You know what is for certain? Seems like both statements of that poster is true. Thanks for shedding some light on this scandalous dog, and if she keeps up her act with someone that is roughly around five years younger than her, she'll end up in Azkaban. Run, younger Gryffindors, run! You are all next. |
B R A N C H W H Y S O D R A M A T I C [ul][li]Seen that Clarice lately? Boy she will love to hear about her boyfriend snogging so many others. I got pictures if you want, Clarice. That that you will want them. Snogging Ben are ya?</LI>H A V E Y O U H E A R D ? During this Puff's second year, Moon decided to go on a well-needed diet and I must say, I was impressed at what she achieved. Now people decided that in order to make Twiggy feel better about herself, they called it "Anorexia", and no doubt told her that she was perfect the way she was before. Regretfully, Twiggy listened to her lying, 'Everyone is beautiful' tree-looking friends, and she shall now be named Branch. All seemed well in the world for Branch, until she recently decided that she had a disease, that no one can even pronounce. Now, she's fainting, sweating and bleeding all over the place. Branch has even been overheard refusing to go to the Hospital Wing when these...'attacks' happen. Wow Kate, any more drama coming up for you? C H E A T C H E A T C H E A T H A V E Y O U H E A R D ? Think Slytherins are nasty little snakes? Think again! There seems to be a lust triangle going on between tow Hufflepuffs and a Gryffindor. No, the Gryffindor is not the player. But get this, two of them are Prefects! Talk about a surprise there. The biggest surprise is the fact that it is Dymetris Kozlov doing the playing! Is it because he seems to be more man-pretty (yet a total downgrade from the other males that seem to be man-pretty like Theodore Snow and Damian Metzger)? He would look better if he would cut off those smelly dreadlocks (hint hint). Anyway, he was seen snogging the lights out of Faxen Lowart, a Gryffindor Prefect, whom seems to know about our sweet little Cosette Mayfair's relationship with Dymetris. Look out Briar, you got some competition in the skank award for the year. Come on, Cosette, get your head out of the shadows and dump the manwh*re! Leave the two to have unprotected sex and breed their nasty children before they are even out of school. Ten galleons that Faxen would end up pregnant by the time she is in her seventh year. B L A C K A N D B L U E H A V E Y O U H E A R D ? Where O Where is my Stefan? An interesting departure left the whole school wondering (except not really). Only a handle full of people actually care that this color-blind Slytherin left school for awhile, but more than a few people have noticed the bruises and cuts Archer had returned with. It hasn't been the first time this little boy returned with a face like Halloween. But why? Is this a 'You should see what the other guy looks like' story? Most probably not. Rumor has it, this Slytherin does a lot at home to annoy a parent; so it probably isn't a 'The other person looks worse' story, more like a 'The Slytherin Deserves It.' I doubt anyone will deny this. This boy is so bland and boring, that his parent's bring the bruises along to give him a little more color in his life. Why else would anyone be interested? Boring guys out there, if you are looking for tips, make sure you follow Stefan's example. He now seems to always have a girl hanging off his arm; especially Branch. Perfect- Drama Queen for a Drama King. C L A W S A N D Q U A F F L E S H A V E Y O U H E A R D ? We all know of the Quidditch game and how SlytherClaw landed on top thanks to their seeker/beater Isabella Romanes. Another switch of positions, and this time it won them the game! But we know about that. I saw so many flaws in the game, it was rather ridiculous. First of all, where were the chasers? All I saw was bushy red hair and Branch go back and forth. And then they had to tire out the SlytherClaw Keeper, Kamaria Zhefarovich, also the Head Girl. Guess she showed her Slytherin side during the game, because she was acting like a total b*tch. And then there was poor Jeremy. Seemed like he was working alone, or hardly working if you ask me. What was the best part was that the GryffinPuffs had lost, and they were such sore losers! Come on, you Gryffindorks can't win at everything. Though the SlytherClaws can't really even be celebrating, they only scored once! Seems like they will only score once in their lives, and it won't be the good scoring. With the werewolf being the ball hog and the Gryffindor Beater giving her the puppy eyes and ranting on how he can take out an entire team all by himself (what a joke! Whoever is afraid of a second year, raise your hands. No one? Thought so.). So, Merlin's beard, all of you slackers need to get your heads out of your arses, and actually play. Yawn fest. It seemed more like a cat fight to me. Do us all a favor and go play with a Devil's Snare before you embarrass yourselves even more. H A V E Y O U H E A R D T H E S E R U M O R S ? [li]Michael Alexandra is in love with not Karah Love, but another snake. See the attraction between Slytherins and Ravenclaws? [li]Milena La Fleur was seen hanging around Jake Simpson an awful lot and then with Dante Vrael. Will you pick one of them already? [li]If Kate Moon is diseased, does that mean her twin, Sara Moon is too? I bet it is contagious, so steer clear. [li]We know that werewolf love is bad, but ever heard of incest love? A couple of Slytherin cousins love each other and were caught snogging. Talk about keeping it in the family! [li]Georgiana Night and Logan Stone, former Ravenclaw, were always true love. It's enough to make someone lose their appetite.[/li][/ul] | S P A R K L E S G O N E [ul][li]A certain Ravenclaw Prefect digs a Snake. Sorry Mute. Maybe you should have signed a little louder.H A V E Y O U H E A R D ? Oh miss Sparkles, why don't you Sparkle anymore? Not that I'm complaining, you're personality was as annoying as the poo left on the sidewalk by a small, yapping dog, that barks at everything that moves. Which is kind of like you, I guess, attaching yourself to anyone that moves; except the dog would totally be cuter. But now, Miss Sparkless, you have done the world a great favor in tuning down your 'The world is filled with sunshine and flowers' attitude, and brought out a new look. Red hair. Mmm seems familiar? Now, I know I called you a dog Riley, but that's no need to follow in the real dog, Briar Rowan's footsteps. No doubt the hair was some sort of scheme to become more attractive? Sorry to inform you, but yes, your hair does still sparkle. Which actually makes any similarity between you and an actual human being, completely coincidental. Which goes the same for Briar. She isn't attractive. And you look like a slag. Twin Prefect alert - Lord help us all. D A D D Y S L Y T H E R I N H A V E Y O U H E A R D ? Has anyone seen that Slytherin Prefect? We see his sister all the time, but never him. We all know the screaming and probably fist throwing he had done when Ariah dumped him (pretty sure she did, but with a jerk like that, who wouldn't?). Boy did Styx choose the worst Slytherin out there to give that badge to! He seems to be a shut in nowadays, and ever wonder why? We have it here, folks. He managed to get Ariah pregnant, and he was wanting her to abort the baby! Talk about low. So, he is a deadbeat dad, but we can't really expect more from someone that spends all day sleeping in his dorm and avoiding the rest of the rest of the world. Shooting curses and hexes at first years. It will be a sheer joy to have him leave the school. S I L E N T A N D G E E K Y H A V E Y O U H E A R D ? "You know you like it weird girl. Don't deny the lust." Weird sentence I know. But these very words were overheard being shouted at none other than the Fifth Year, Sapphire Bookchild. No, don't read it wrong, Bookchild didn't yell it - she's a mute stupid. No, these words were screamed by Tyler Hawkens. Confused as to why this good-looking Ravenclaw Fifth Year was shouting at a Hufflepuff witless wonder? Unfortunately, Bookchild H A V E Y O U H E A R D T H E S E R U M O R S ? [li]Professor Kingsley is pregnant! Watch out everyone, she has a temper. [li]A certain Part-Goblin (or should we say midget) managed to get the piss scared out of her. Literally. No wonder the house elves were bringing up clean sheets every night to the Gryffindor dorms. [li]Professor Ava Davershire is cooking it up with an Auror. Is this why she left her husband? [li]We don't just house werewolves anymore, but banshees as well. Guess who? The Grave sisters. That explains why no one likes them. [li]Love is in the air! But not for Karah Love. She wishes that she can get a guy to get past that empty head and good looks. [li]Enflated ego alert for Danielle Howard! Face the facts, girl, you aren't pretty. Pretty sure she lies about her true blood status too. [li]Samuel Phillips has a boy toy out of the school. Who could it be? [li]Ever seen that Megara Bennett? You know, the one that would be acting like a first year putting stink bombs in the back of your pockets? She's engaged! [li]LeAnn Adams is getting a new daddy in the holidays! Does that mean, more siblings? Uh oh, LeAnn... <LI>[li]And last but not least, does anyone know where in the world Evelyn Mosca is, and how she believes that her hair is normal?[/li][/ul] |
So there you have it kids. Owl us with any rumors - whether its something you've seen, or something you want to spread, we want it all!
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