Patchwork

[Ainsley Lynch]

The sun was finally beginning to show through in force, and Ainsley had no intention of wasting a beautiful day indoors. Gathering up her sewing supplies, she trotted out of the castle and made her way into the beaming sunlight, ready to make the most of the sunshine now that it was here. Ainsley meandered along, a bundle of fabric in her arms, until she spied a peaceful spot on the banks of the lake, perfect to dip her toes in the cool water and enjoy the sunshine on her shoulders.

Settling down, Ainsley picked up a skirt she hadn't worn in a while, shorter than her standard ankle-length fare and more suited for the intense heat of summer. Ainsley spent a lot of time adapting her own clothing, and with summer coming up this one definitely needed a few more pockets. Since last year she had slowly begun the process of sewing long, thin wand pockets onto all her skirts and dresses, for convenience's sakes. The darn thing just didn't go nicely in a standard pocket. Selecting a brightly patterned floral scrap of fabric, Ainsley hummed and gently splashed her bare toes in the water as she began to sew, thinking as she did about how things had changed so much over the last year.

 

[Amber Chou Wilson]

Amber had been trying to get into the habit of taking a walk each day. She had met a few people that were very sporty anf exercised a lot and while she didn't really want to go for a run every morning, she did know that a little exercise was healthy. The weather was turning warmer too, so being outside was fairly pleasant. She just had to be careful not to get grass stains on her shoes.

Her mind wandered as she walked. She was thinking of her second year so far. Already, she felt so much more at home atl Hogwarts than she had last year. She was getting older, and it was exciting. Even though she wasn't taller than many of the first years, she did think she looked older. She hoped so, at least.

Her walks were never really planned out and this time she found herself wandering near the lake. It looked pretty with the sunlight dancing on the surface, and she stopped to appreciate it for a while. Then she noticed movement near the edge of the lake and looked at the girl sitting there. She instantly knew who it was: Ainsley! The girl was sowing something and had her feet dangling in the lake.

Amber's face split into a grin as she made her way over to her best friend. She giggled tapped her on the shoulder. "Hello there." She said cheerfully. Ainsleys hair looked so beautiful in the sunlight, even more than the lake did.

 

[Ainsley Lynch]

Ainsley hummed cheerfully to herself as she sewed, feet lightly splish-splashing in the lake water. She was largely preoccupied by the work, paying little attention to the people around her, but she wasn't quite detached enough not to notice the footsteps coming up behind her. Ainsley was already turning her head when Amber tapped her on the shoulder, beaming delightedly when she looked up and saw her best friend. "Hi!"

Beaming, Ainsley patted the spot next to her. "Come take off your shoes, the water's perfect..." She smiled happily, kicking a little and making a soft splashing noise. "Were you just out for a walk, or did you come looking for me?" Ainsley didn't think she and Amber had had any plans to do anything together today, but she couldn't just dismiss the possibility that her best friend might need her for something.

 

[Amber Chou Wilson]

Amber sat down next to Ainsley but didn't take off her shoes. "I don't really want wet feet." She said with a small shrug. The nightmare of putting socks and shoes back on afterwards wasn't really something she wanted to deal with, though she suspected that Ainsley didn't have that problem since she didn't seem to usually wear shoes. She grinned a bit at Ainsley's question. "Just out for a walk, finding you was just a bonus." She leaned against her friend a little. "I feel like I see you less than last year, I suppose we're both a bit busier." In their first year, they seemed to have been together all the time. Now they still sat together a lot, but it was a little bit less. It was probably good for them to have other friends, but she still liked being with Ainsley most of all. "How are you?"

 

[Ainsley Lynch]

Ainsley shrugged, splashing her toes again. "I reckon the sun will dry them." She said idly, looking back down at her sewing. Ainsley smiled a little when she felt Amber lean against her, leaning back slightly in response. "I suppose..." She said softly. Despite having gotten involved with a club this year, Ainsley didn't feel like she had been particularly busy. "You've got a lot of other friends to spend time with now." The 'I don't...' Ainsley felt hung off the end of her sentence, but she didn't give it voice. As much as she missed the time with Amber, Ainsley didn't need her help getting around the castle as much as last year, and it was probably a good thing that people liked Amber. They were right to like Amber, Amber was great. And even if Amber was busy, it always felt like she made time for Ainsley in little ways.

Ainsley had never had a friend before, but the last couple of months seeing Amber less than before, Ainsley was beginning to realise she had also never been lonely before. And she was beginning to learn what it felt like not to always prefer her own company. It was strange. Entirely unfamiliar to the girl who had spent so much of her life miles from any other children. She would want to tell Amber something, and she wasn't there. Ainsley had gotten so used to letting her thoughts out of her head, it was strange to keep them up there again. But Amber was here now, and talking, and Ainsley was once again alone with her thoughts inside her own head, when there was actually a friend here to talk to. She quickly pulled her mind back to the conversation at hand, shrugging vaguely. "Oh, I... I'm alright. I've just been thinking a lot lately." She said vaguely, tip of her sewing needle tapping rhythmically against her fabric in time with her toes splashing in the water.

 

[Amber Chou Wilson]

Amber refrained from pointing how the number of things that could be in the water, making it dirty or dangerous to put your feet in. She didn't want to argue, and she knew that Ainsley didn't mind dirt on her feet anyway. It was something Amber couldn't really understand.

Ainsley said Amber had other friends to spend time with, and Amber felt a little uncomfortable. She had sort of assumed Ainsley had made her own separate friends, but maybe that wasn't the case. She smiled, not wanting to linger on anything bad. "Well, I still want to spend time with my best friend too." She said as she looked at Ainsley happily. "And that's not going to change." She meant what she said, and hoped the words were reassuring to her friend.

The conversation shifted a little when Ainsley said she had been thinking a lot lately. That made Amber curious. "Thinking? About what?"

 

[Ainsley Lynch]

Ainsley smiled warmly at Amber's words, a little relieved. Even if Amber was busy, as long as Ainsley got to spend a bit of time with her, it would all be fine. "Good." She said softly. "I... I'm not complaining though, it's good... you should have friends." She said awkwardly, hoping she wasn't coming across as needy or... sad? Ainsley wasn't sure how to feel. She didn't fully understand the importance some people seemed to put on having other people around all the time, it only made sense to her with Amber.

Shrugging, Ainsley splashed her toes lightly in the water. "Just... about people, I guess. So many things people do are still so weird to me. The way people talk to each other, and the... things that are important to them, it's just..." Ainsley shrugged a little uncertainly. "Real people are so different to people in books. I'm more used to them now, but its still strange to... watch, and be a part of..."

 

[Amber Chou Wilson]

Amber glanced at Ainsley. "You... could find a few friends too." She said slowly. "If it's hard for you, I could help, or introduce you to one of mine." She smiled a little, liking that idea. "We could all be friends together." She thought back of who she knew that would get along with Ainsley. "We could spend time with Flavio sometime?" She knew Ainsley had met him too and they seemed similar. She thought of Evelyn but decided not to say anything yet because she wasn't sure how well they would match. Whether or not Ainsley would want to do this was up in the air, Amber didn't always understand her completely, though she tried to.

Amber listened to Ainsley's thoughts and concerns and tried to wrap her mind around it. She wanted badly to be helpful to her friend. "Sometimes people do things I don't understand either." She started. "I mean, like Quidditch. I don't get the appeal. But I know that for you its probably more things than that..." She hesitated. "But you don't need to understand everyone... and I think you understand me." She blushed a little. "So I mean, you are already a part of it and doing just fine."

 

[Ainsley Lynch]

Ainsley faltered, considering what Amber had said. "I... no, I'm not... I don't need you to find me friends..." She said weakly. "I'm not saying that... I don't want to go meet new people..." She said nervously, wavering a little at the thought of trying to make conversation with a total stranger, especially one Amber liked. What if she embarrassed herself... or worse, Amber? The suggestion of spending time with Flavio made her pause though. Ainsley did like him, it was nice being around someone where there wasn't pressure to be talking or listening all the time. "I... we could... spend some time with Flavio..." She said hesitantly.

Ainsley nodded, listening to Amber's comments about Quidditch. She had to agree, she couldn't see any appeal in flying around so fast and high, with nothing to protect you, and what looked like people trying to hit you with bats? It was terrifying. "I know what you mean, but that's not what I meant..." She said hesitantly, trying to put her thoughts into words. "It's like... in a book, you can tell what's going on inside people, the book explains why they're doing the things they do. Real people just seem so... random, if there's a reason for the way people act the way they do I don't... know it." She shook her head, looking away. "Never mind, it's just a thought."

 

[Amber Chou Wilson]

Amber was a little disappointed that Ainsley didn't want her help making more friends. She would have loved to work on that, making her friend a little happier. But she had to remind herself that not everyone was the same. Amber liked making new friends and meeting new people, but that didn't mean everyone did. Still, she was glad the suggestion about Flavio went over a little better. "We could!" She said cheerfully. "But only if you really want to." She added, not wanting to push Ainsley into anything she was unsure about.

As Ainsley explained how she felt, Amber's heart sank. She really, really, wanted to help her friend and understand her, but this was something she just couldn't really wrap her mind around. It just seemed like things were so different for Ainsley sometimes, and it was hard for Amber to get it. Instead of pretending she understood, she decided to be honest. She gently took Ainsley's hand. "It... it is hard for me to understand that." She said slowly. "Because I don't really feel that way, but that doesn't mean its wrong or bad that you do. Okay? If you ever need my help with anything, I'm here."

 

[Ainsley Lynch]

Ainsley smiled and nodded, liking the thought of the three of them spending time together. "That would be fun, I think. Flavio's nice." She smiled, splishing her toes gently in the water. When she felt Amber's hand slip into her own Ainsley smiled and a small flutter of happiness ran through her, long fingers curling around Amber's small palm. "Thanks." She said softly. "I know it's not how most people feel, or I probably wouldn't have this problem. It's just something I was thinking, you don't need to know all the answers..."

Even if other people were a mystery to her, Ainsley could read Amber well enough to know that not understanding Ainsley was making her uncomfortable, so she decided to try to change the subject, thinking of things that had been on her mind since they last talked, that she could turn the conversation to. After a moment, something came to her. "Hey, did you ever hear of LGBT?" She asked, toes splashing through the water. "I only just heard of it."

 

[Amber Chou Wilson]

Amber nodded in agreement."He is nice, I like how he feeds the birds... it's sweet." She said softly, thinking of her friend. It felt sort of odd to hold Ainsley's hand but also nice, Amber smiled and squeezed the other girl's hand slightly. "You don't have to thank me. I don't think I helped a lot." She said softly, looking down at the water. "I wish I could do more, understand some things better."

There fell a small silence between them before Ainsley started to talk again. It surprised her to hear that she had completely changed the subject. Her question made Amber a bit uncomfortable, she thought she had heard the term before but it wasn't something she discussed a lot. She shrugged awkwardly. "Sort of. Why?" She asked, suddenly tense.

 

[Ainsley Lynch]

Ainsley smiled and nodded in agreement. She had been meaning to go out and feed the ducklings with Flavio sometime, but she hadn't run into him during any of her wanderings around the grounds all year. When Amber squeezed her hand, Ainsley smiled and squeezed back, leaning against her friend a little. "It's okay. It's not your job to understand me all the time, that would be exhausting, just like it would if I understood you all the time. Just trying is nice." She smiled, splashing lightly with her toes. "Besides, you already help me loads."

Ainsley nodded as she kicked her toes through the water gently, thinking. "I just heard of it..." She repeated. "Someone was saying the gardening club does a LGBT pride and I thought it was a magic flower or something, so I looked it up. I read books with people like that before, but I didn't realise it was... a real thing, with a name and stuff. I just wondered if most people know, or if it's... a secret or something, like magic..." Ainsley trailed off, shrugging. So many things people considered common knowledge were a mystery to her that she had learned never to take for granted that something she was learning for the first time wasn't widely known.

 

[Amber Chou Wilson]

Ainsley's words made Amber relax a little, but she still felt a bit guilty. She hoped she would be a good and understanding friend in the future and could always support Ainsley.

Even so, the other subject she wanted to talk about made Amber a bit uncomfortable. Of course she knew what these things were, she had seen it in books or magazines or on television at her aunt's, but talking about it was weird. It was just something that existed, it was hard to believe Ainsley had never known it before. She slipped her hand out of Ainsley's before she replied, not entirely sure why. "Uhm. It's not a secret, it's just ... it just exists. Like. People like that." She shrugged awkwardly. "You've never seen it on muggle television or anything?" She asked hurriedly. "There's all sorts of things on there, I always loved to watch things on it as a child." She hoped that the subject was changed by this, she didn't want to talk about this a lot. It probably wasn't appropriate or something.

 

[Ainsley Lynch]

Ainsley was slightly startled by Amber taking her hand away, Ainsley's own palm cold and lonely now. She shifted a little to clasp her hands together in her lap, missing the warmth. "I... watched TV a little, but never much, there was always more interesting stuff to do..." Ainsley shrugged, leaning forward slightly. "There was never stuff like that on it though, at least I don't think so. I didn't realise it had... a name, or... anything like that." Ainsley hesitated, thinking "And I don't know why the gardening club does events like that, unless... I missed a rule or something, and you're only allowed to join the gardening club if you're LGBT..." Ainsley shrugged, staring at her hands. "It just surprised me..."

 

[Amber Chou Wilson]

Amber was starting to feel more and more uncomfortable, why didn't Ainsley want to talk about something else? She frowned a little. "Well, you should look up a book or something. If you want to know more." She said, her voice clipped. "I don't know anything about it. Though I doubt the gardening club has restrictions like that. They would have told you." She shrugged. "They probably just organize that to be nice. Or ...Or to have something to do with all the flowers. I don't know, okay?" She looked away, out over the lake. She knew she was being shorter with her friend than was necessary, but she didn't want to talk about this with her. It made her feel weird.

 

[Ainsley Lynch]

Ainsley nodded quietly, staring at her hands. She felt from Amber's demeanour like she had said something wrong, but thinking back over their conversation Ainsley just couldn't figure out what it was. Unless Amber had lied about this being something secret, something you shouldn't talk about. She wasn't sure. Ainsley couldn't figure out what to say or do from here, so she went for what seemed like the easiest option, changing the subject abruptly, staring off in another direction. "Beautiful day, isn't it?" She asked a little tensely, staring out over the lake.

 

[Amber Chou Wilson]

Amber could tell she had hurt and confused Ainsley and it made her feel horrible. But this subject wasn't something she wanted to talk about. She stroked some of Ainsley's hair off her shoulder, giving her a small smile. "It's okay. It's not... a bad thing to talk about. I just don't have a lot to say about it." She said softly. "Maybe you should ask the wild patch club president if you're curious..." She hesitated for a moment. "And it is a beautiful day."

 

[Ainsley Lynch]

Ainsley relaxed very slightly as Amber touched her hair, giving a soft sigh. "I... maybe I should. I don't know." Ainsley hesitated, still staring off into the distance, before speaking again. "I... it's hard for me to think about, harder than other people, I think, not just because I don't understand people, but... you're the only friend I've ever had." Ainsley said quietly and looked down, finally giving voice to a worry that had sprouted in her even before she was thinking about any of this. "It's like, I'm still learning about what friendship feels like, so how am I even gonna know when I start... liking people? I don't think I've liked anyone before, but if I'm not even totally sure what it's like to have friends yet how am I gonna know the difference? I don't know if I'm ready to start liking people yet, or... if I'll ever be. I don't know. But I'm sort of scared I will start liking someone and not even know what I'm feeling, or... why I'm feeling that way..." She sighed, looking down at her knees. "It's stupid, I know. I just wish I had... had real friends when I was a kid. I barely even know what I'm doing now, and everyone else has had loads of practice having friends and being around people."

 

[Amber Chou Wilson]

Amber listened to Ainsley talk, feeling sympathy and wishing she could do more for her. "Ainsley, I understand why you're worried. I really do." She said gently as she started to braid part of Ainsley's hair. "I know I don't understand it completely, but I didn't really have friends before school either. I know making friends comes easier for me than for you but... you're my first real friend too." She gave Ainsley a shy smile. "But I'm sure we'll just... know the difference. I don't think you need to worry, it will just happen." It was a worry she had herself, but reassuring Ainsley made her feel reassured as well. "We're still young, we'll know. I'm sure of it." It had to be harder for Ainsley if she was also figuring out if she might like... well, girls. But Amber was sure they would both know. It would be sort of fun if they both dated someone, maybe they could go on a double date like on some tv shows she had seen. It seemed awfully grown up, and she suddenly really wanted to do something like that. "No matter what happens, I'll be your best friend." She added softly, hoping it would ease Ainsley's feelings somewhat.