If the Whole World Was Watching

[Amber Chou Wilson]

Tonight was the night. Amber couldn't recall ever having been this nervous for anything before, as butterflies danced wildly in her stomach. Perhaps it was completely silly to feel this way. After all, they had never properly said this was a date. Amber and Ainsley had gone to balls and parties together many times over the years, but this time it felt different. They were both nervous, Amber could tell. After getting ready and finding Ainsley, the two made their way to the Great Hall together. As they walked, Amber glanced in her direction a few times. The other girl looked really pretty, even though her outfit wasn't something Amber would ever have picked out. It was very Ainsley, which made it perfect for the night.

In the entrance hall as they neared the doors of the great hall, Amber glanced at her again. The uncertainty was killing her. If this wasn't a date, why was there such tension in the air between them? The thought of others seeing them together and just assuming they were here as friends bothered her somehow, even though she thought that was what she would have wanted. If she'd asked herself yesterday if she was ready to show the whole school who she liked, she would have thought she wasn't. But right now, she felt a little braver. But only if Ainsley wanted the same thing as she did. As they entered the great hall, Amber brushed her hand against Ainsley's, trying to see what her reaction to it was. The other girl didn't pull away, and Amber thought to detect a blush. That was encouraging, and she blushed herself. The hall was beautiful as ever and Amber smiled before speaking to her date. "It's so nice here." She said softly. "I'm glad you came with me." Her hand finally found the courage to hold Ainsley's, and she squeezed slightly. Looking up at her friend, she started to realize that perhaps it didn't really matter what others thought. Perhaps all they had to worry about was spending time together and enjoying themselves. "What do you want to do?" She asked, her voice nervous but excited as well. She hoped with all her might that Ainsley wouldn't pull her hand away now. That she hadn't misread the situation completely.

 

[Ainsley Lynch]

Taming her hair into a neat, tidy plait had taken Ainsley far too long, but everything about tonight was special. Every time she was around Amber, the world seemed to stop, like they were both holding their breaths, waiting for something that hadn't quite arrived yet. Neither of them had been explicit about whether tonight was just another Yule Ball as friends, or whether this was.... something more, but the flutter in Ainsley's heart when she saw Amber in her outfit for the first time was both entirely familiar and completely new. She felt every inch of her own body as they made their way down the stairs to the Great Hall, unsure what to do with her hands, with her feet, torn between not wanting to stare at Amber and never wanting to see anything or anyone else in the world.

Entering the Great Hall, the bright, swirling dresses and cheerful decorations distracted Ainsley for the first moment since they had begun making their way downstairs. None of it was enough to tear Ainsley away for long though, and as she looked around for a moment, Ainsley felt Amber's hand brush her own, and at once nothing in the world mattered as much as that tiny patch of skin. Meeting Amber's eyes, Ainsley smiled nervously, and her smile widened when she felt Amber's hand link with hers. They had linked arms many times, but holding hands was different and new, and Ainsley felt like her heart was going to thump out of her chest, wondering how it was possible to focus on so many wonderful things at once. "I'm really glad too." She said shyly, giving Amber an earnest smile. In all her years of trying to come to terms with how she felt about Amber, somehow Ainsley had never imagined how it would feel to come to the Yule Ball together like this. Ainsley didn't know if she could ever have imagined feelings like these if she had tried. When Amber asked what they should do Ainsley looked around for a moment, before looking back at Amber. "How about we dance?" She asked nervously. It was a dance, after all.

 

[Amber Chou Wilson]

Amber took in the sights around them with Ainsley's hand in hers, breathing in the excitement of the night. So many couples were here together and everyone looked so beautiful, and for the first time Amber felt like she fit in here. She was no longer one of the younger students enviously watching the couples together looking so grown up and real. This was real, and she knew Ainsley felt it too. Their hands remained together, something that made Amber's hear thud in her chest like nothing else. She purposely didn't look at any of the faces around, scared that the sight of one of her friends would break her resolve and make her scared again. She didn't want to be scared. Any friend of hers would have to take her as she was. Tonight she was brave, and she thought perhaps she could remain so with Ainsley by her side. Meeting her gaze, she nodded. "Let's dance." She said with the slightest shake in her voice. Giving her a smile, she then lead her to the dance floor by the hand. After a moment of hesitation, she positioned them right in the middle, in the sight of anyone around them. Her hands shook slightly as she took Ainsley's other hand and started swaying to the music, but she tried to focus just on her. "You're so tall." She murmured with a small laugh. "I don't know how we'll do this." She wasn't even sure what she was referring to with 'this'. Dancing? Kissing? She moved a little closer and let go of her hands and placed her hands on her waist instead, swaying to the music more. Everyone else made it seem so natural, and in a way it was, but with Ainsley so much taller than her she wondered how this would work. In a way, it was exciting to find out together. Her heart did a somersault at the idea of kissing her here, but she wasn't sure if she was quite that brave. "I like your hair this way." She said instead, smiling. "You did a good job braiding it."

 

[Ainsley Lynch]

It was clear from the slight shiver in Amber's voice that she felt the same nervous excitement Ainsley did, if the occasional tremble of her hands and the uncertainty of her smile hadn't given it away already. It was comforting to know they were on the same page, being nervous about all this. Made Ainsley sure that she wasn't reading into this. Tonight was special. She nodded happily, and followed Amber out onto the dancefloor, feeling connected through the linking of their fingers. As distracting as the beautiful dresses and decorations usually were, right now noone else mattered to Ainsley. It was just her and Amber, and as Amber took her other hand Ainsley felt invincible, like this was a moment nothing and nobody could break. Laughing softly as the joined hands dancing was a little awkward, Ainsley smiled. "Well, you'll just have to get taller then." She teased. Her heart skipped a beat as Amber moved closer, and Ainsley had to suppress a nervous shiver when she felt hands on her waist, settling after a moment for joining her own hands behind Amber's neck, smiling down at her. This close she could see Amber's every eyelash, could count her small freckles. Could see how soft her lips looked. After years of trying not to think this way about her best friend it was almost too much all at once to be dancing like this, to be so close with her and feel the same energies back from Amber. Part of Ainsley was overwhelmed, but a much larger part of her never wanted to be anywhere else but here, in this moment with Amber now. When Amber complimented her hair she laughed nervously. "Thanks." She said softly. "It took way too long though. I think I've got too much for it to ever really look tidy..." Ainsley hesitated, searching for words to say, and when none came to her that were elegant enough, she settled for the simple, honest truth. "You... you look beautiful."

 

[Amber Chou Wilson]

Amber's hands were surprisingly steady on Ainsley's waist, and a part of her mind thought it felt like they were supposed to be there. There was no doubt in her mind anymore that this was a date, and in a way, it was her first true date. With Wyatt in the past it had been different, it hadn't felt like this. This was how it was when you were with someone you really and truly liked, and it was amazing. They swayed to the music, and Amber felt herself blush as Ainsley's hands moved behind her neck. She wanted to do the same, but Ainsley was way too tall for that. Feeling more comfortable in the moment than she had a few moments ago, Amber smiled at her. Ainsley's eyes were so green. Her movements grew a little less awkward as the music and the moment swept her away, though it was still mostly swaying in place. "Maybe you have to get smaller. Or I have to get used to wearing taller heels." Amber said with a small smile. This moment was big and important, and Amber felt a little like she was floating. Ainsley's comments about her hair made her laugh gently. "I like it though, it doesn't need to be tidy." She said softly. "It suits you so much more like this," she added in a softer voice. Her face heated up when Ainsley told her she looked beautiful, and for the first time she averted her gaze from her friend for a moment. Seeing other couples dancing around them was a little startling but also felt good. It wasn't like everyone was staring at them, at least. Amber looked back at her friend, wondering if that word still applied. Were they more now? Even if they were, she knew Ainsley would always be her best friend as well. They were close enough that Amber could smell her hair and see every detail of her face, it was a little scary but mostly nice, and she wanted more. Nervously, Amber bit her lip. "Ainsley, I really like you." She said softly, though the words didn't feel like enough. 'Really like' wasn't big enough, but any other word was too hard to say yet. Without really thinking about it, she removed her hands from Ainsley's waist and stood up on tiptoes while pulling her down a little. Forgetting everything around them once again, she wrapped her arms around her neck and kissed Ainsley right there in the middle of the hall. Pressing their lips together in a moment that felt like pure joy.

 

[Ainsley Lynch]

Ainsley didn't know if she had ever been this close to Amber before, but it felt so right to be holding each other like this. The entire world shrank to just the two of them, and the music they were swaying in time with. Ainsley could spend hours, years like this, counting the freckles on Amber's face and feeling the slight breeze from Amber's breath ghosting across her neck. She laughed softly at Amber's comment about her height. "I'm just glad I didn't try to wear heels. That would be bad for everyone involved." She joked. Even if she wasn't so much taller than Amber, Ainsley was fairly sure that if she had tried to wear heels she wouldn't have even made it down to the Great Hall without falling. She smiled, feeling her cheeks heat up a little when Amber complimented her hair again. "Really?" She asked, shifting slightly. "I feel like I look too fancy. It feels strange." Ainsley felt her heart thud when Amber looked away at her compliment. Had it been the wrong thing to say? Ainsley felt almost like she should apologise, but before she could find the words, Amber spoke again. The words shook Ainsley to her core and she almost stumbled, eyes flying wide. It took her a moment to even be sure she hadn't imagined it. It was a phrase she had imagined saying to Amber so many times, but never thought she would dare, and her heart thudded as she took everything in. This was real, and she hadn't imagined any of it. Amber liked her, and she liked Amber, and here they were, together at last. "I-" Ainsley started to respond, but she was cut off by warm arms pulling her down and then Amber was kissing her, and it was everything, it was more than she could have ever imagined. The rest of the world faded to nothing as Ainsley bent down slightly to pull Amber closer and kiss her back, nervous and a little clumsy but with years of longing behind it. There could be no more perfect moment, everything finally felt right.

 

[Amber Chou Wilson]

To Amber's delight and relief, Ainsley kissed her back. There had still been a part of her that worried the other girl wouldn't want to kiss her, that she had misread the signals. It was very nice, even if it was a little clumsy. Their height difference really wasn't helping matters. The kiss felt like it lasted forever, but when it ended it also felt like it as over way too soon. Amber wasn't really sure who had pulled back first. A smile appeared on her face as she took in Ainsley from so close and she nudged her nose with her own. "Wow." She murmured shyly. "Was that okay?" She created a little more distance between them, chancing a quick glance around. The rest of the world still seemed to be going as if nothing had changed, that was almost the strangest thing about the situation. Amber looked back at Ainsley, hoping she didn't regret anything about this moment. Amber knew she didn't, even if it meant everything would change between them. They had always had something special, and if Amber was honest she could say she probably liked Ainsley this way long before she even realized it herself. With a hesitant smile, she took a hold of her hand again.

 

[Ainsley Lynch]

Ainsley had never felt anything like this. Her heart seemed too big for her chest as she and Amber kissed, its thumping echoing through her body to the tips of her fingers and toes. Nothing about this kiss was exactly as she had imagined it would be, somehow it managed to be realer, and more awkward, and more perfect all at once. As soon as they separated the only thing Ainsley could think was how long it would be before she got to do that again. She beamed back in response to Amber's smile, nudging her nose slightly in response. They were both nervous, but nothing felt uncomfortable or unsure now. Ainsley knew they really, truly felt the same. "Wow." She echoed, smiling warmly, and nodded quickly. "That was amazing." She went silent for a moment, taking the chance to glance around. With Amber so close, Ainsley had forgotten the rest of the world for so long that it was almost a surprise there were still people around them, that they were still in the same old Great Hall, nothing had changed. But everything had changed too. Ainsley smiled when Amber took her hand, twining their fingers together gently. "I really like you too." She said softly, finishing the thought she had started before they had kissed. "I... I've liked you for a really long time."

 

[Amber Chou Wilson]

Amber adjusted Ainsley's braid without thinking about it while holding her other hand. It was nice to hear that Aisnley had enjoyed it too, even using the word amazing to describe it. Amber giggled happily, feeling like a burst of joy exploded in her chest. Amber squeezed Ainsley's hand when she entwined their fingers, happy to hear the other girl liked her too. The kiss had pretty much confirmed it already, but it was still really nice to hear it in Ainsley's own words. Hearing Ainsley had liked her for a really long time did make her feel a little bit of guilt too. Her mind flashed back to the time they had fought when she had dated Wyatt. Had Ainsley already liked her back then? A part of her wanted to ask, but this wasn't the time or place. She hopped up and down, unable to contain her excitement. "Let's dance!" She said with a bright grin. She held up Ainsley's arm so she could move under it and twirled around with a carefree laugh. "I want to dance with you all night." She said with a grin.

 

[Ainsley Lynch]

Ainsley smiled, tilting her head slightly as Amber adjusted her plait to make it easier to reach. She felt warm and full and happy and alive, and it was such a relief that nothing was wrong, nothing felt like it had changed. She was still Ainsley and Amber was still Amber, and here they were, together and happy. She squeezed Amber's hand back happily, laughing as the other girl started to jump. She had never seen Amber quite so hyper and happy before, and when she asked to dance more, Ainsley was tempted to just go along with it, laughing happily as she twirled Amber around, but there was one thing that she felt she needed to be sure of first. "I... wait." She said hesitantly. "I just... I wanna know..." Ainsley took a nervous breath. "Does this mean... I mean... are we... dating now?" She asked nervously, squeezing Amber's hand again. The answer had to be yes, right? The way things felt, the kiss, Amber saying she liked her. All the signs seemed clear. But Ainsley needed to hear it for certain, to know what the situation was in concrete terms before she could really let herself enjoy this for all it was worth.

 

[Amber Chou Wilson]

Amber hoped Ainsley would get lost in dancing and having fun with her, but it seemed like her friend wanted to talk first. It made Amber nervous, and she rather hoped this conversation could happen later. Not here right in the middle of the hall. But she couldn't deny that it had to happen, and that it was only fair to Ainsley to talk about this. Amber stopped moving to look at her to answer the question. A shy smile spread over her face, and she nodded. "I... I'd like to. Yes." She said softly, her heart skipping a beat as she said the words. "Do you want to as well?" The kiss should have answered this question for them, but it seemed like they both needed the confirmation in words. Amber wasn't sure how much would change if they dated, and she hoped they would still be the same in some ways. "I guess this is our first date." She said quietly.

 

[Ainsley Lynch]

As clear as Amber's actions had made the answer seem, Ainsley was still relieved, face breaking into a wide grin. "I do." She said happily, heart racing. This felt like a dream, but it was also infinitely more wonderful than anything Ainsley had ever dreamed. She laughed happily and nodded. "It is." She beamed. "Wow. We're on a date." Ainsley hesitated a moment, not sure if this word was too much to use too soon, but she had wanted to say so for so long, she couldn't help herself. "So you're my girlfriend. We're girlfriends. Wow." She beamed, and for the briefest of moments something that felt like a sob tickled at Ainsley's throat and she had to fight it back down. She had wanted to say that for so long, but it had felt impossible, a wish that would never become a reality. But here they were now, and Ainsley beamed again, squeezing Amber's hands and bouncing slightly. "Okay! Let's dance!"

 

[Amber Chou Wilson]

Amber couldn't help feel a little embarrassed at saying these things out loud. It was all happening very fast, even if it was mostly wonderful. But Ainsley's reaction made it all worth it, the smile on her face was adorable and Amber giggled in response. "A date, yes." She said firmly. Even if it felt strange and foreign to say it, she knew no other word would fit quite as well. The other word Ainsley used made her cheeks heat up. She wasn't quite sure if she would be able to make herself say that yet, and hoped Ainsley would understand. Instead, she nodded. Before they could linger on it longer, Ainsley was squeezing her hands and bouncing up and down, making Amber laugh again. "Let's dance and then get something to drink." She said, even though she was just as excited to get moving as Ainsley was. "Staying hydrated is important." She grinned. "But first, dancing time." She said, twirling again before pulling Ainsley closer.