- Messages
- 18
- OOC First Name
- Anna
- Blood Status
- Mixed Blood
- Relationship Status
- Single (Not Looking)
- Sexual Orientation
- Heterosexual
- Age
- 38
Ever since Asher and Delaney had moved out to get married and start their own families, it had become even more apparent to Leo that he was stuck in one place, wishing he had more and watching everyone else move on around him. It was obvious that despite the band being successful enough for him to live comfortably, they weren't famous, weren't winning awards for their music and weren't household names like he had always dreamed of, and due to this Leo had only seen the reality of what he didn't have. He saw the glass half empty and only what was missing in his life instead of what he already had; and what he had worked so hard to achieve. It was only then, since finding himself in an emptier, much quieter home without the antics of the two less mature band mates (in Leo's opinion) that Leo had realised his life was metaphorically also empty, and that he had been all too focused on working towards the next big thing, the next goal instead of appreciating the moment he was in. That he had been stuck and henceforth wasted years of his life filled with good times with his band mates all under one roof, writing songs together and partying and living up the freedom of their situation, while worrying about the next step, thinking about the following days, weeks, and months instead of the present. Now that time was gone forever, and Leo couldn't help but wallow in self pity over it.
Maybe, he was just an idiot. An idiot for not realizing what he had before it was over. For refusing to take a break from his work and his dreams to appreciate the life he had created for himself. He was certainly drinking alone like an idiot that evening over it at least, which was unlike himself, and smoking cigarettes in the house like an idiot which was on the other hand, very like himself, as he pulled card after card from his tarot deck to seek answers to his situation to no avail. He was ultimately making himself feel worse over lost time he couldn't get back rather than being happy that two of his band mates, two people in his life that were the closest thing he had to family, had found happiness. Maybe he was the one that was immature in the end, for not taking care of himself and forgetting to show the people he cared about how much they mattered. Maybe it was immature to feel anything other then happy for his friends and their lives, but he did, he felt devastated and as time had passed it wasn't getting any better. The cards on the dining table he had turned over in an effort to find an answer to his problems, weren't giving him the answers he wanted. He wasn't feeling any better the longer he reveled in his self pity.
All he could see from the cards and his situation was that he needed to move on too, that he needed to free himself from the limbo he found himself in. He had had enough, and had wallowed too much in his own sadness that he was sick of himself too, for being so stuck in every way he could think of. So in an effort to make himself feel better he had stood up from the dining table, sauntering over to Vera's room and knocking gently on the door in the hope she was still awake. "Vera?" He questioned softly. "I'm sad, do you wanna get Pizza or something?" He asked, thinking that some cheese covered fast food would help break him from his stupor, and that spending time talking to the one person that mattered most to him would help him feel less like he was drowning in his thoughts.
Maybe, he was just an idiot. An idiot for not realizing what he had before it was over. For refusing to take a break from his work and his dreams to appreciate the life he had created for himself. He was certainly drinking alone like an idiot that evening over it at least, which was unlike himself, and smoking cigarettes in the house like an idiot which was on the other hand, very like himself, as he pulled card after card from his tarot deck to seek answers to his situation to no avail. He was ultimately making himself feel worse over lost time he couldn't get back rather than being happy that two of his band mates, two people in his life that were the closest thing he had to family, had found happiness. Maybe he was the one that was immature in the end, for not taking care of himself and forgetting to show the people he cared about how much they mattered. Maybe it was immature to feel anything other then happy for his friends and their lives, but he did, he felt devastated and as time had passed it wasn't getting any better. The cards on the dining table he had turned over in an effort to find an answer to his problems, weren't giving him the answers he wanted. He wasn't feeling any better the longer he reveled in his self pity.
All he could see from the cards and his situation was that he needed to move on too, that he needed to free himself from the limbo he found himself in. He had had enough, and had wallowed too much in his own sadness that he was sick of himself too, for being so stuck in every way he could think of. So in an effort to make himself feel better he had stood up from the dining table, sauntering over to Vera's room and knocking gently on the door in the hope she was still awake. "Vera?" He questioned softly. "I'm sad, do you wanna get Pizza or something?" He asked, thinking that some cheese covered fast food would help break him from his stupor, and that spending time talking to the one person that mattered most to him would help him feel less like he was drowning in his thoughts.