Closed Empty Nest Syndrome

Leo Malstrom

Ashes guitarist
 
Messages
18
OOC First Name
Anna
Blood Status
Mixed Blood
Relationship Status
Single (Not Looking)
Sexual Orientation
Heterosexual
Age
38
Ever since Asher and Delaney had moved out to get married and start their own families, it had become even more apparent to Leo that he was stuck in one place, wishing he had more and watching everyone else move on around him. It was obvious that despite the band being successful enough for him to live comfortably, they weren't famous, weren't winning awards for their music and weren't household names like he had always dreamed of, and due to this Leo had only seen the reality of what he didn't have. He saw the glass half empty and only what was missing in his life instead of what he already had; and what he had worked so hard to achieve. It was only then, since finding himself in an emptier, much quieter home without the antics of the two less mature band mates (in Leo's opinion) that Leo had realised his life was metaphorically also empty, and that he had been all too focused on working towards the next big thing, the next goal instead of appreciating the moment he was in. That he had been stuck and henceforth wasted years of his life filled with good times with his band mates all under one roof, writing songs together and partying and living up the freedom of their situation, while worrying about the next step, thinking about the following days, weeks, and months instead of the present. Now that time was gone forever, and Leo couldn't help but wallow in self pity over it.

Maybe, he was just an idiot. An idiot for not realizing what he had before it was over. For refusing to take a break from his work and his dreams to appreciate the life he had created for himself. He was certainly drinking alone like an idiot that evening over it at least, which was unlike himself, and smoking cigarettes in the house like an idiot which was on the other hand, very like himself, as he pulled card after card from his tarot deck to seek answers to his situation to no avail. He was ultimately making himself feel worse over lost time he couldn't get back rather than being happy that two of his band mates, two people in his life that were the closest thing he had to family, had found happiness. Maybe he was the one that was immature in the end, for not taking care of himself and forgetting to show the people he cared about how much they mattered. Maybe it was immature to feel anything other then happy for his friends and their lives, but he did, he felt devastated and as time had passed it wasn't getting any better. The cards on the dining table he had turned over in an effort to find an answer to his problems, weren't giving him the answers he wanted. He wasn't feeling any better the longer he reveled in his self pity.

All he could see from the cards and his situation was that he needed to move on too, that he needed to free himself from the limbo he found himself in. He had had enough, and had wallowed too much in his own sadness that he was sick of himself too, for being so stuck in every way he could think of. So in an effort to make himself feel better he had stood up from the dining table, sauntering over to Vera's room and knocking gently on the door in the hope she was still awake. "Vera?" He questioned softly. "I'm sad, do you wanna get Pizza or something?" He asked, thinking that some cheese covered fast food would help break him from his stupor, and that spending time talking to the one person that mattered most to him would help him feel less like he was drowning in his thoughts.
 
Vera was knowing for being stoic, slow to anger, and unlikely to react outwardly to most things. But Delaney's bombshell of a marriage and later the twins, nearly sent her over the edge. Asher moving out had been a shock but didn't raise her blood pressure in quite the same way. The house was quieter now. She had almost suggested that Leo and her could move into something smaller, but something kept her back. Maybe it was sentimentality or maybe it felt too presumptuous to think Leo would want to live with her forever. They were both getting older and while she couldn't imagine him not by her side, she didn't know if he felt the same way. Besides, she liked having some extra space and was considering turning one of the now extra rooms into a proper art studio for her paintings. She was up late, like usual, working on a piece that was being quiet stubborn. She had a record playing softly so she could hear Leo's voice as he called out for her. She put down her pallet and opened the door. "You smell like an ashtray." she said as she wrinkled her nose, not answering his question about pizza. "What's wrong?" she asked, softly. A softness reserved for her friend when they were alone. Normally a request for pizza wouldn't be cause of concern but for Leo who worked through things in the kitchen it was at least notable.
 
Leaning on the doorway with a little more weight than he had intended to, Leo watched Vera open the door and intently scrunch her nose in response to the evident smell of cigarettes lingering over him, as if it was something new for him and not the way he smelled most days and nights. Maybe it was more apparent that evening because he was smoking like a chimney even more so than usual due to the stress over his circumstances and discerning no other method of dealing with it, but in the state he was in he wasn't at much of a liberty to notice. "And you smell like formaldehyde." He uttered in response to Vera's words, noting the image of her bedroom, her painting supplies and of course the faint sound of a record playing in the background. The scent of formaldehyde could have very well been the remaining scent of whisky on his breath he had misplaced rather than Vera's paints, although Leo in that moment was only really focused on emotional he felt, and how his tummy and heavy chest was screaming at him to fill the void in his heart with greasy food and lift the weight off his shoulders by spending time with the person he knew best, the one person that despite Leo's many faults and flaws continued to stay with him.

Leo almost felt guilty for intruding on Vera's peace with his air of cigarettes and whisky but almost as quickly reminded himself he had no other option but to speak to her. After all she knew him best and he trusted she would listen to his woes and comfort him which is more than he could say for anyone else he knew, even Asher than Delaney. Especially Asher and Delaney, because they were the ones that had caused him to find himself being such a wreck in their absence. It was all the more obvious to Leo than ever that he trusted Vera more than his other band mates, and at the same time he also did not want to give the others the satisfaction of knowing he missed them. In Leo's mind Vera was the only person reserved to see him without the mask he used to seem like he had himself together. "We can order in, if you want." Leo added after a short silence fell and he realised he had slightly lost his train of thought in Vera's presence.
 
Vera let out an irritated hum in response to Leo's comment. "At least I'm not smoking it." she replied dryly. She had given him a lecture about his smoking once before she left it alone. The last thing she wanted to be was a nag. Besides she had made her thoughts known and it was up to Leo to make a choice about it. He was a big boy after all. But she still wasn't a fan of the habit and didn't like when he chain smoked. She had pretended not to notice but she wasn't blind.

Not that Vera was the picture of health, with her late nights and habit of skipping meals when she got to engrossed in her projects. Which reminded her of the time as she tried to remember her last meal. With a sigh, she let some of the tenson drop from her shoulders, the only evidence of her conflicting inner thoughts. "Yeah that sounds good." she said sounding relieved. "Any reason you don't want to cook?" she asked, circling back to her original concern.
 

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