Closed Dwelling on the End

[Elliot Briar]

Elliot couldn't help but hang back as the ceremony ended, hovering awkwardly as the guests and graduates milled about. He wanted, desperately, to find Alice and hold onto her for as long as he was allowed, but he knew she had to be busy right now. He could wait. Beyond that, Elliot was still pretty intimidated by Alice's parents and the idea of running into the minister of magic right now was a bit more than he could take when he was already feeling so fragile.

Elliot felt like he and Alice had been holding their breath all year for this moment, and now that it was here he wasn't sure what to do with himself. He wanted to be proud of her, and he really, really was, but it didn't stop the deep ache that had settled into his chest the minute Alice had accepted her diploma. Alice's speech had been fantastic, and her talk about new beginnings was hopeful and apt, but Elliot couldn't stop thinking about how this was the end of him getting to see her every day.

Waiting for a moment Alice was free, Elliot slunk over, gently hooking her hand in his own and giving it a tight squeeze. "Hey, you were great," he said, trying not to let his voice catch as he looked over her face. It was stupid to waste some of the last moments they had together at school feeling so sad, but the thought of her imminent departure still lingered over him like a dark cloud.

 

[Alice Holland]

After talking to Ava, talking to her parents and going around the room saying goodbye to her classmates, Alice felt a little drained. She head a headache and vaguely felt like she was about to cry, though she was fairly confident she could push that off until she was alone. It was a strange and disorienting day. When she felt Elliot's hand in her own, she looked up at him before pulling him close and into a hug. "Thank you." She said softly. "I can't believe I'm leaving you and you're staying here." She added, mumbling into his shoulder. "Even with everything else, that's all I've been thinking about all day." She admitted.

 

[Elliot Briar]

Elliot cautiously wrapped his arms around Alice, glancing around briefly to check her parents weren't lurking nearby before tucking his cheek against the top of head and holding on tighter. "You leaving assumes I'm going to let you go any time soon," He said weakly, aiming for levity. Elliot knew they'd both been half dreading this year ending, but it was still strange to hear Alice just could out and say it. "You're not going far. We still have the holidays. And we can visit over the break and Brightstone weekends," he said, pressing a kiss to the top of Alice's head. This was easier than dwelling on Alice leaving. He could be comforting.

Objectively, they both knew all those things, Elliot had been trying to convince himself of such all year in fact, but it felt easier to say it when Alice was right here worrying about it in front of him rather than how he'd been all year, pretending everything was fine. "I'm always complaining the semesters move so quickly, a year'll be nothing and I'll be graduated too," he added, feeling a cold pit in his stomach at that thought as well. "I've freaked myself out now," Elliot said quietly, letting out a nervous huff of amusement.

 

[Alice Holland]

Alice laughed softly, leaning into Elliot. "I think you'll have to eventually." She said a little sadly. "Epecially because you also have to go home." She added, leaning her head against his chest and sighing softly. She nodded when Elliot listed all the ways they could still see each other, though it only made it more clear to her they'd be missing each other a lot. They had gotten used to seeing each other nearly every day. She laughed softly when Elliot talked about his own graduation, pulling back enough to look at him. "Well, I fear that this semester isn't going by so quickly, at least for me." She then paused. "I guess that depends a bit on what I'll be doing. If I get into the Ministry I'll be busy... maybe it will feel like it went fast." She said, looking around a bit sadly. "I'll miss this place, though."

 

[Elliot Briar]

Elliot closed his eyes for a moment, focusing on just having Alice close for these last few seconds, her head on his chest. If he could imprint this moment on his mind just a bit longer, maybe next year wouldn’t seem so scary without her. “Home’s boring, Alice time now,” he said, eyes still shut, but he had to squint one open when Alice eventually pulled back, sighing and opening both eyes so he could look into hers.

“It’s going to be… Really weird without you,” he said honestly, tucking a piece of hair behind Alice’s ear as she glanced around the hall. He’d never been at school without Alice, even before they were dating, and the idea of her suddenly not being there seemed so large and scary he almost couldn’t wrap his head around it. Elliot really hadn’t wanted to get mopey today. He was so, so proud and excited for Alice, the last thing he wanted to happen was for her to feel like he was some sort of tether holding her back. But it was so hard to want to let her go. “You’ll do great a the Ministry, probably won’t have time to think about this place for awhile.” 'Or me’ hung unspoken, not something Elliot wanted to put words to right now, not yet. It was too early to let that small, growing fear out. “I’m really proud of you, by the way,” he added, placing a gentle kiss on Alice’s forehead. 'I love you' was what he thought he might be trying to say.