Closed Connected Pieces

[Vivian Brackenstall]

Vivian had never had a big family. Never expected one. For the majority of his life, it had just been him, his mum, and his gran. The three of them against the world. Somehow he had known things were changing the second his mum told him about Ignacio, and Vivian's life had just gone from one change to the next. People he had been at school with going from acquaintances to family. Becoming a big brother. Everything was different, and sometimes he didn't know how to handle it. That wasn't to say he was upset, far from it - Vivian had never seen his mum so happy before - but sometimes it could all be a bit overwhelming. He didn't see his former schoolmates in Ignacio's family terribly often, mostly at family gatherings, but when Flavio had asked to come by Vivian hadn't been able to think of a reason to say no. He was tired from babysitting the twins on Thursday, but avoiding people wasn't going to help anything. Especially Flavio. Though they had never spoken about their awkward past, Vivian felt it hanging over his head every time he saw the Ravenclaw. He had made a bit of an effort to tidy up his living room, shoving the clothes lying around into his bedroom, the dishes into the kitchen, and tucked the half-scribbled pieces of sheet music under the lid of the piano, closing it so nobody would be any the wiser. He finished just in time, crossing the room quickly when there was a knock on the door. "Hey." Vivian said as he opened it, curiosity at the reason for the visit rearing its head again.

 

[Flavio Morales-Tipene]

Family was the most important thing to Flavio. With every year he grew older and each year he had spent as a father to Miro, the fact that family mattered to him over anything else became ever more obvious to him. The well being and safety of his family and spending time with them was everything to him, and he trusted his family with his entire life and his innermost thoughts and feelings. He was so close to them, and so comfortable with his family, that he couldn't have imagined a reality in which he did not feel he could talk to his family about something. Nevertheless in an unexpected twist of events in recent months, Flavio had experienced thoughts and feelings about his roommate that had caused him to question everything he thought he knew about himself, and for the first time in his life, he hesitated in talking to his mother or any of his siblings about it. Flavio didn't know how he felt about his new feelings, he just knew that he felt unlike himself. Unlike the person that would be comfortable sharing his feelings to his close family.

Flavio found himself constantly going in circles, trying to figure out what his feelings meant, and what everything he felt for Kauri meant. It was all so new to him but conversely so familiar although still entirely confusing. Without anyone he felt he could talk to about it Flavio felt like he was going crazy, and with the ongoing election and his responsibilities as an Auror as well as his regular responsibilities as a parent, he knew he couldn't afford to be so distracted. Given his history with Vivian, the fact they were technically family, and at a loss of anyone else he felt comfortable speaking to about his feelings, Flavio had decided to organize visiting Vivian for lunch in an attempt to discern answers to the questions he had about himself. He made sure to ask Vivian's coffee order earlier in the day, and around noon he arrived to Vivian's flat with a takeaway triple shot black coffee and a paper bag with a chocolate danish in one hand for Vivian, and a takeaway cup of tea in the other hand for himself. Flavio fumbled slightly as he tried to figure out how to knock on the door, eventually trying his best to reach forward with the hand that held his takeaway cup of tea and gently knocking on the door so he didn't spill anything. When Vivian answered the door, Flavio felt his usual amount of awkward. "Hello." He quickly greeted. Feeling a bit embarrassed, and unsure of how else to start conversation, he soon wordlessly offered Vivian the coffee and danish he had requested.​

 

[Vivian Brackenstall]

The smell of strong coffee was a welcome one, and Vivian accepted the offered lunch, stepping aside to let Flavio enter as he took a sip. He didn't know at what point he'd become dependant on caffeine, but even without the stress of university he found he couldn't get through a day without a ridiculous amount of coffee. The cafe job he'd picked up since school had its perks, at least. He closed the door behind Flavio and gestured to the sofa, flopping into an armchair himself. "Sorry the place is kind of a mess. Been working a lot lately."

 

[Flavio Morales-Tipene]

Still unsure of how to act around Vivian or of what to say without feeling awkward and cringing at himself, Flavio chose not to say anything as he walked into Vivian's flat. He nodded as Vivian gestured to the sofa, soon sitting down although still feeling too uncomfortable to fully relax and keeping his posture straight. Flavio sipped from his tea, sitting forward for a moment to place it on the coffee table. "It is difficult to keep the house clean when you are busy." Flavio agreed, settling on twiddling his thumbs for a moment as he tried to piece together the right words to explain his situation, and why it had led him to visit Vivian, out of all the other people in his family.

Flavio frowned for a moment, exhaling and letting a silence fall before he spoke. "I know that we do not spend time with each other outside of family gatherings, but I am here today because I have been feeling changes in myself recently and I do not feel comfortable talking to anyone else about it." He began, knowing full well that his next words would be the first time he admitted his feelings out loud to himself, let alone anyone else. "I have feelings for my roommate Kauri, as more than a friend. I haven't had feelings for anyone that is a male, ever, and I haven't had feelings for anyone since November. I do not know what it means, if this means I am not straight like I thought I was. I thought I was straight, but I might not be. I do not know what I am, and I thought I did know myself. I am very confused about what it means, and I do not know how to process it. I might be over thinking as well, but my life is complicated and I have no option but to over think." Flavio explained further, feeling a bit like he had spoken too much when he finally remembered to breathe. He picked up his tea and sipped from it, exhaling before he spoke again. "What do you think?" He asked Vivian, wholly realizing that he was unloading a lot on someone he felt so uncomfortable around, but also hoping that Vivian might understand why he felt the way he did. ​

 

[Vivian Brackenstall]

Whatever Vivian had expected this visit to be about, it certainly wasn't this. His coffee cup hung forgotten in his hand as he listened, slotting the new information into his understanding of the world. As distant as they had been since school, he knew exactly why Flavio had come to him for this. Unless he was missing something, Vivian was sure it had been their kiss in third year that had convinced Flavio that he was straight, and this conversation felt like a years-long continuation of that one. "Right..." He said slowly, trying to figure out how best to phrase this. Giving his uncle and past fling advice on how to date a boy he had been involved in cheating on.... "Well, I think you're right about overthinking it." He said slowly, slipping back into the slower, quieter way he had spoken in school as he considered the matter. "It's... look, words like 'gay' or 'straight' are just... things humans invented to help us understand the world around us. Sexuality, gender, all of it's part of a system we built, and we can choose how much weight we personally want to put behind that stuff. I like the word gay because it's easy and conveys all the information anyone needs about me, but it's not some kind of binding rule. Say I fall in love with someone and then they transition, am I banned from still being in love with them? If a woman's closeted until her sixties, is she banned from coming out because she's called herself straight until now? There are as many ways to experience sexuality and gender as there are people on earth, labels are tools, not rules." Vivian slipped into academia mode as he spoke, glad that gender and sexuality had been such a big focus of his philosophy degree. Whether it was what Flavio needed to hear or not, it was something he could at least speak about at length, and much easier to focus on than the actual specifics of the people involved.. "You liked November, now you like Kauri, they're both just people. If it feels right, it feels right. It sounds to me like you're bi, and just haven't met any men you liked until now, but that's not something I can decide for you. Kauri's... a really good person. If you like each other and make each other happy, that's all that really matters."

 

[Flavio Morales-Tipene]

Flavio looked to his tea as he considered Vivian's words. He made everything sound so simple, even when it felt so different and complicated. Flavio never liked not knowing, and relying on rules to organize everything about himself under a neat and and accurate label was where he felt most at home, most comfortable, and this was why he felt so internally flustered by his feelings for Kauri. What didn't help the fact was that he had so many other aspects to consider, whether Kauri liked him in return, what it meant for his friendship with Kauri if his feelings were one sided, and if by chance they both felt the same, how Flavio should introduce a new relationship he had into Miro's life. Let alone how he would balance working and parenting, and dating all at once. Dating and romance was something Flavio had been actively avoiding for so long, it was overwhelming to have so many changes relating to having feelings for someone at once.

Flavio sighed, placing his tea on the coffee table again and running a hand through his hair. "I don't know. When you are in school and young and in a relationship things are simple because you do not have other things to think about, and now with having feelings for someone new, especially someone I already live with, and the fact I am a father at my age is so complicated." Flavio wanted clarity, something certain to ground him in a time where he was so busy with work and unsure about himself in so many ways. It did help that Vivian described orientations as a journey, and Flavio fully understood this and knew if anyone in his life felt differently about themselves he would still entirely accept them. For some reason however, he wasn't able to provide himself with the same unconditional love and freedom. "I wish it could be as simple as the way you describe it." Flavio mused, finally leaning back into the sofa slightly now that he had less of a weight on his shoulders.​

 

[Ainsley Lynch]

"oops this isnt my house" ainsley said and apparated out of this very private conversation

 

[Ainsley Lynch]

oops this still isnt my house i had better leave and not listen to this intensely personal conversation my best friend is having with his sort-of ex

 

[Vivian Brackenstall]

Vivian listened quietly as Flavio spoke, letting him get his words out. He snorted lightly at the last thing the older man said, giving him a look. "It can be, if you let it. Don't let a few words rule your life. Trust me, I sat through four years of boring classes on this stuff. Just give yourself to like who you like and be happy." He took another swig of his coffee, thinking over the other things Flavio had said. "I... can't really imagine how different this stuff is having a kid, but... Kauri's a good guy. If he doesn't feel the same, he's not going to make a fuss or ruin your living situation. Trust me, he hates me and he's still always been kind. That guy would break his own back to make sure he lets you down gently. And as for Miro... I mean, you've been living with Kauri for years already. I doubt it would really be all that much change for him if you did get together. And Kauri always liked looking after younger kids at Hogwarts, I bet he's great with Miro."

 

[Flavio Morales-Tipene]

Flavio couldn't help but smile to himself at Vivian's response. It was entirely true, that Kauri was kind enough to let him down easy if his feelings were one sided, and also kind enough not to let it affect their living situation or their friendship. Although Flavio did not want to be in a situation that led to Kauri being too kind and Flavio feeling like he had overstepped and ruined their situation that was presently comfortable. He raised his eyebrows when Vivian commented Kauri must be good with Miro, as this also was entirely true. "Miro thinks Kauri is his best friend." He responded, a moment later sighing and looking at the ceiling. It still sounded all too simple and easy when Vivian explained his situation back to him logically, but Flavio felt as if he needed more time to process his thoughts and feelings before talking to Kauri about he felt. If he told Kauri how he felt. He was still unsure if he wanted to speak to anyone other than Vivian about it. "I guess I am not straight then, whatever that means." He said, speaking out loud to himself more than Vivian. "You are right, I should just let things happen as they happen." Flavio admitted. Even if he would have trouble adjusting to feeling uncertain and not knowing things, Vivian was ultimately right and it would be counter productive of Flavio to believe otherwise. ​

 

[Vivian Brackenstall]

Vivian couldn't help a small smile as Flavio described Kauri's relationship with his son, nodding once. "Then I don't think you have anything to worry about there." He said, wondering quietly what their home was like. He had never really spent time around kids before his sisters had been born, but as they grew up he was starting to understand. It would be nice, someday, finding someone he could have that kind of life with. Share a home, a family. He wasn't there yet though, and for now it was just nice to hear Flavio had found that. He nodded when the other man agreed with him, smiling warmly. "You'll be fine. You're both good people, and this is a good thing. I'm happy for you." He paused. "Just don't tell Kauri I was the one who gave you this advice." He added before changing the subject, the two of them chatting away the rest of lunch, pleased that he had been able to help Flavio find some kind of answer.

-fin-​