Can't Stop, 'Cause I'm I'm Having Too Much Fun

[Saveli Pendleton]

"Sh!t!" Was the first word to leave Saveli Matveev's mouth as she sprung up from her best friends bed. The night's festivities had led to this. They'd gone out and saw a movie, then back to his for more terrible muggle movies. She remembered thinking that Gabriel was right when he told her it was too dangerous to walk home from the place that had the floo system she had used to get to his place. He was fast asleep on the floor next to the bed - having been a gentleman and telling her she could stay in his bed and he'd sleep on the floor. Saveli thought perhaps Monty wouldn't noticed she was even gone. After all, she hadn't exactly asked to go out with Gabriel. Rather she had left while he was out doing something - maybe something invention related. Saveli took a few deep breaths and looked over the bed at Gabe. Rather than wake him up she moved around his room and grabbing her bag and her shoes, before writing him a note telling him she'd gone home so as to avoid Monty blowing up when he did realize she was gone.

With that done she walked a little ways away from Gabriel's house to a restaurant that had a floo system built into it. It was a few Galleons to use their floo powder and she paid for it before squeezing herself through the tube of the floo system and popping out on the other side, in a wizarding community that was around a ten minute walk from her house. Saveli slipped her shoes off when she reached her doorstep, and quietly entered the house. It was around six in the morning, and the blonde was sure that Monty would still be fast a sleep. She took a breath and set her shoes as gently as she could on the floor and began to sneak to her room - glad that Monty wouldn't see what she left the house in, and glad he wouldn't know she was gone all night.

 

[Monty Pendleton]

There were two sides to being a parent, one of which very enjoyable, and the other, as Monty was discovering, completely and utterly terrifying. The Potions Professor was unfortunately well-accustomed to long nights of sleeplessness and heavy hours of anxiety, but not even thirty years of practice could have prepared him for the way he would feel when his foster-daughter disappeared and didn't come back.

At first, he'd brushed it off; it wasn't uncommon for Saveli to take walks about the nearby woods, and Monty, being familiar with the area, didn't think much threat could be posed by her doing so. When she hadn't returned for dinner, he'd grown puzzled, but still had not worried for long, because the Slytherin was independent and probably just in need of a little personal space. But as the evening grew dark, and still he had not heard her key in the lock or her footsteps in the hallway, he had begun to panic. Had something happened to her whilst she'd been walking? Had she been kidnapped? Fallen ill? Become lost? Died?! Of course, many of these fears were quite ludicrous, not to mention physically implausible, but several were not, and as evening became early morning, and the birds started singing in the palest early light, Monty had almost lost his mind worrying.

It was six o'clock. The man who thought he'd known fear was sat at his kitchen table, quite motionless, except for the subtle shivering of his entire body. He ached with fear. He was sick. He was exhausted.

He wondered whether this was how his mother had felt.

Just as a wave of fresh nausea swept over him, there was a quiet tapping in the hall outside. Monty had never moved so fast in his life. "Saveli?" he said, his pale from appearing in the doorway as he spoke. She was OK. She was safe. She was home. Monty was so overcome with relief he could have dropped to the floor. But just as soon as he'd blinked, a new, unprecedented emotion began to take over him. "Where the hell have you been?"

 

[Saveli Pendleton]

Monty rushed around the corner like the bulls of Madrid rushed to the color red. Saveli's bag and cardigan fell to the floor out of her arms as she nearly jumped from her skin and right back out the door. "Merlin's beard you scared me!" She answered, before he started in on her with an angry tone. Something Saveli was more than shocked by. Her blue eyes became wide and she swallowed. "Monty I'm sorry, I just." She sighed and tried to gain her composure before answering. She was an independent adult, she thought she had done what was responsible.

"Last night while you were gone Gabriel owled me and said he wanted to hang out. So I took him out to the movies and we went back to his place to watch a few more. Cinemas are really expensive now a days you know? And by the time I had realized it was past my curfew it was dark. So Gabriel offered to let me stay with him." Saveli hoped everything sounded right, she was being honest after all. Her lack of eye-contact may have suggested otherwise but she knew the truth. "So I stayed in his bed and as soon as it was bright enough I came back. Gabriel said you'd thank him because it's dangerous for me to walk home at night from the place where the floo system is to here." Saveli looked at her fingers, holding them in front of the bare skin of her stomach, hiding slightly - worried that he'd still be mad. However she had done the right thing. Walking home alone at night was dangerous - she could have been hurt. It was better for her to stay with Gabe where she knew she was safe.

 

[Monty Pendleton]

When Saveli's explanation began, Monty was only half listening, because a good portion of his attention had suddenly been consumed in his noticing how much - or rather how little - she was actually wearing. At something about an owl, he started listening again, but for all she tried to convince him she'd done the right thing, his anger grew and grew. How dare she think it was perfectly OK to disappear without telling him where she was going to be? Didn't she realise she was under his protection? "And you didn't think it might be a good idea to send an owl?" He cried. But the worst was yet to come. By the time she finished, he was positively fuming. "You slept in his bed? Christ, please tell me you didn't have sex. Saveli!" He didn't presume she had. He just needed to hear the 'No'.

 

[Saveli Pendleton]

Saveli looked hopeless at his comment about the owl. "It was late! I didn't think you'd care anyways!" The blonde was going to apologize but what Monty said next stopped her solid in her tracks. Her words redid themselves and before she could think the sentence rushed past her lips. "And what if i did?!" She shouted at him. Of course Saveli hadn't been intimate with Gabriel. She was fifteen for starters, and she didn't love him romantically - only as a friend. However she was so irreversibly angry that she couldn't take it back, and rather than looking at Monty like she regretted her words she glared with cold blue eyes - similar to when they first met.

 

[Monty Pendleton]

How could he not care? She was his foster daughter! Monty had opened his mouth to point this out when she struck him with five cold words. He leant back against the wall, but since this wasn't enough to keep the room from swaying, quickly moved to sit on the bottom stair. He hadn't thought Saveli would be so silly, but now he wasn't so sure. This was his fault. He should have spoken to her sooner. Told her about these things. Or maybe he'd assumed someone else already had. After taking a moment to compose his jumbled thoughts, Monty said, "You're fifteen. You're underage, you're under my protection; THAT IS WHY IT MATTERS!"

 

[Saveli Pendleton]

Saveli gave an exaggerated groan. The accent Saveli often was able to control, so as to sound less like the family that left her behind was unleashed along with her rage. "Yer outta yer mind old man! I know I'm fifteen! What kind a a wher do ye think Iyam?!" Her tone crescendoed to a growl, not breaking with any emotion other than anger. "I'm no babby Monty, stop treatin' me like Iyam!" Perhaps since this was their first fight since him fostering her it was long overdue. "What're ya gonna do anyways ground me? So that I'm stuck in this house with a man who's off 'is rocker? I'm not bold but that ain't happening. I swear you're battier that a f****** gnome!" She finished her rage, her screaming leading to tears pouring over the edge of her eyes and mixing with the mascara that had become slightly smeared in her resting state.

 

[Monty Pendleton]

Monty recoiled, stunned. Neither he nor Saveli had ever before risen their voices at one another (or at least, not since he'd fostered her), and he had no idea what to say. At least she'd answered his question. No. Good. Why couldn't she just have told him so in the first place? Why did she have to complicate everything? It was ridiculously unfair and completely exhausting. He didn't ask for much - his lenience for rules extended a little way into parenting, too - but he had a duty of care to uphold, and Saveli was acting as if he were her enemy for it. He understood that she might not have been used to adults caring for her safety and well being, but that was no reason for her to be so rude. Monty only cared. How many times would he have to prove it before she believed him?

Drained and speechless, he dropped his pounding head into his hands and closed his eyes. "Don't swear at me, Saveli," he said weakly, though he was mostly buying himself time to think. What was he going to do? He was tired, and helpless, and had just discovered that the child he'd fostered thought him crazy. Any of these factors alone might not have led him to reconsider their arrangement. But together, they had pushed him to breaking point. With his face still buried in his palms, he breathed, "I can't do this."

 

[Saveli Pendleton]

Saveli felt the silence that spread through the house - it came with a bitter ache in her chest and the smell of familiar hatred in her nose. The salt from her tears leaked into her slightly open mouth and she stood there, for a moment remembering what the saltiness of tears tasted like - so much more bitter when someone who you cared for caused them. the blonde's fists released from their clamped state, giving her sweating palms a moment to breath - only to return to a clamped position upon the words Monty breathed at her.

I can't do this.

Saveli nearly flinched. He couldn't do this? He couldn't take care of her? He was going to abandon her like everyone else did, and she had known that from the start. "Fine! You won't have to!" She yelled before rushing up the stairs, bumping into Monty carelessly on her way through. The tears that Saveli had been crying renewed on her face which was now red and blotchy with proof that she wasn't made of stone. Saveli slammed the door to her bedroom loudly and tore clothing article after clothing article out of her drawer. There was the sound of thunder in the distance as if the skies knew the rage she felt deep within her core. Item after item was carelessly thrown into her trunk, and Saveli tossed the thing out her window as soon as it was packed. Nothing in there was breakable - after all why would she take the picture of Monty and she with her? She hated him. Saveli held her wand to her and moved to the trellis and down the siding of the house. The landing was mushy, as it seemed the rain had started soon after she'd entered her house, and Saveli slipped to the ground. She contemplated laying there for an extended period of time - but remember that once Monty realized she was out there he'd just take her back to the orphanage. "No." She spoke to herself, she wasn't going back. So with trunk in hand the blonde made her way away from her almost-home

 

[Monty Pendleton]

Monty released the rest of his breath, wincing away as she stormed past him and up the stairs to her bedroom. Merlin, what had he done? It was for the best. It had to be for the best. Some time away from each other would do them both a world of good; he was sure of it. He sat quietly on the stairs for some time after Saveli had disappeared, steadying his breath and trying to decide how best to progress with things from here. He'd assure Saveli it would only be for a little while - that they would benefit from some time alone. Then he'd get in contact with Miss Byrne, the owner of the orphanage...

Monty winced again as he thought of sending her back to that awful place. But what choice did he have? He couldn't cope with the stress and anxiety fostering was bringing him. If he wasn't careful, they would grow to resent each other. The hole in Monty's stomach grew. Saveli already had grown to resent him. A rumble of thunder diverted his attention back to the hallway, and he gave a heavy sigh before retreating to his own bedroom. At least now that Saveli was home and safe he could get some sleep. Safe in the knowledge that she was under his roof, at least for the time being, he climbed into bed fully clothed and drifted off, the pit in his stomach never quite easing even as he fell into a dream.

When he woke, the sun was shining through the western window of his bedroom. He turned and looked at the clock. Five PM. Despite having slept for almost ten hours, Monty felt as though he'd been hit by a bludger. He rose slowly and washed and dressed, disorientated from waking at such a bizarre hour of the day, and then went to Saveli's door and knocked. What meal should he even make? Dinner? Or breakfast? "Saveli?" he called nervously, hoping ten hours had given her sufficient time to calm down. When there was no reply, he added, "Sav, please will you come downstairs and talk to me? I don't want to-" Monty trailed off. He'd opened the door and realised she wasn't in her bedroom. In fact, there wasn't a lot in her bedroom at all. He moved so silently to her still open drawers that the world almost appeared to have stopped around him. There were no birds singing outside. There was no wind, gently lifting the net curtain over her open window. It was just Monty. Monty and silence.

He touched the drawer. Close to it, he could see that the insides were bare. Stripped. She'd packed a bag and run away, leaving barely a trace of her existence behind. No - the picture on the frame above her bed was still there. Suddenly coming back to his senses, Monty rushed to the window and looked outside. No, no, no. As if Saveli might just have been popping downstairs with all of her clothes, rather than having run away, he searched the house for her, his calls becoming more frantic as it dawned on him that it was futile. She was gone. And it was his fault. He put a hand to his chest and leant against the wall. How long had she been gone? She couldn't have gone far - not if she'd walked. Praying that she had, he threw on his jacket, grabbed his keys and left the house, starting off in a jog towards the village. She could have gone anywhere. Think like Saveli. Gabriel's house? No, he didn't know where that was, and he didn't think she'd go back there after that morning. Had that really only been ten hours ago?

It was starting to rain. A light shower at first. By the time he'd reached the quiet high street, it had started to pour. This was all his fault. It was all his fault. How could he have been so unsympathetic? Hastening his step through the puddles, Monty turned the corner, keeping his eyes peeled for any glimpse of her. If he couldn't find her, he was going to have owl the ministry. Christ, how had everything gone so wrong?

 

[Saveli Pendleton]

Saveli had never run away before, and so when she finally started walking she truly had no where in mind to go. She wished she had an umbrella, or had changed from her clothing from the night before - as the light drizzle that patted her skin was awfully cold. Thinking first that she just needed to sit somewhere and gain a plan she headed to a cafe she knew well as she and Motny visited it often. Her wand was now packed in her suitcase, and the blonde entered with bag in hand, hoping that maybe they'd just let her sit and drink a soda. However at that thought she realized that her purse was still in Monty's house, downstairs on the floor where she'd dropped it, along with her cardigan. Thinking quickly Saveli asked where the nearest library was - hoping that by getting directions to that she might have a chance at staying warm for the day.

Saveli spent the rest of her day thinking, unsure on where to go. The rain outside was off and on, and as the afternoon drew to an end and evening was upon her, the Librarian asked her to leave. Saveli wanted to stay there, it was warm and she was surrounded by books - even if she was too proud to admit how much she loved him. Of course upon being put out in the rain Saveli thought that Monty's house had a lot of books. That she could just go back there. Then his words struck her and she shook her head. No if she went back he was going to get rid of her. Send her to the orphanage. Saveli began walking, the rain slowly growing from a light drizzle to the heaviest downpour she'd ever been out in. Her tears of uncertainty were masked by the rain, and her stomach growling was hidden in the thunder. She should have gone to Gabriel's, but she wasn't prepared to listen to Gabe talk about how much he'd always known Monty was bad - as she was nearly sure he would.

Saveli was now a little ways out of the town, toward a park where families brought their children to play. She had fond memories of reading in the park with Monty, just to get some sun as often she didn't like to leave the house if it could be avoided. Moving toward the play set the drenched teenager found a place to sit. It was still damp, but much drier than staying out in the rain, and thus Saveli positioned herself underneath the slide. The occasional large water droplet would drip off it's side and onto her bare shoulder, and by this moment she was shivering, but what else was she to do? Saveli had no family to go to, no friends to take her in that she felt would care about her well being enough to not send her back to Monty - to an orphanage. So with head in her knees, curled in a sitting position, Saveli cried, waiting for the rain to slow, and an idea to come to her mind.

 

[Monty Pendleton]

By nightfall, Monty had looked everywhere. His list of places to look all but two exhausted, he finally stopped walking and admitted defeat. Saveli was long gone. He'd have to owl the ministry. There would be questions. What had driven her to run away? Why hadn't Monty been able to prevent it? And was he really fit to be a foster parent, after all?

Raindrops fell from the end of his sodden curls, which seemed several shades darker when saturated. His clothes were clinging to his body, and the rain was so cold it pierced his face. He was numb, not only from his head to his feet, but also from his head to his heart. Children didn't run away if they weren't hurting. Monty knew that better than anybody. He shook his head, droplets of rain loosening from his chin. He had to find her. He had to find her and tell her he wouldn't send her away. No, more than that - he couldn't send her away.

The park. It was the second to last place left to look. The Inventor turned on his heel and made his way up the narrow country lane that led there, his shoes sloshing in the mud. Every step felt like a battle against the rain that fell in sheets, but it was a battle worth fighting a million times. The path seemed to go on, and on; the low branches sliced at his face and whipped in the wind. Then it opened out, and the park appeared before him, bearing hardly any resemblance to the one they'd visited a few months earlier. He squinted into the darkest, at first seeing nothing but tarmac, climbing equipment, and rain. But there. Under the slide. Was that a figure? "Saveli?" he yelled into the grey, even though it could have been anyone curled up on the ground. As he closened, he caught a glimpse of blonde, darkened by the saturation of rain. "Sav! Monty dropped to his knees on the tarmac, fumbling for his wand, which was also heavy with rainwater. He reached out one arm to touch her where her arm met her shoulder. She was soaked. And so cold. "Are you OK? Have you been hurt? Oh, Saveli, I'm so sorry. I won't ever say that again. I know you're scared. I know you're scared but we can work through this together. We can. Do you trust me?"

 

[Saveli Pendleton]

Saveli shivered under the influence of the wind and the rain, and her mind raced so much so that when the scream of her name was carried to her through the banging on the aluminium slide, she thought it was only her imagination. Wishing that somehow she hadn't screwed up so badly - that she hadn't made Monty think she was like her mom. Saveli wished she'd never let Gabriel talk her into staying the night with him - if she could take it back she would.

The sloshing in the mud that approached Saveli made her entire body tense up, only for it to relax when she realized just who it was. Saveli whom had been silent in her crying suddenly couldn't hold it back anymore and the sobs broke her rigid form, causing shudders to be seen and emotions to be easily known. As Monty apologized she shook her head, though her face still remained pointed downward until she finally felt she could speak to him. "No I'm sorry I just... I'm not my mom I swear I'll be good. I can't go back please, dad." She whispered the last word, begging blue eyes piercing through the darkness and the rain. Never before had she called Montgomery her father - as dad had seemed such a dirty, terrible word to her since being abandoned by her own. But in this moment Saveli was weak - and what she'd honestly felt about Monty came through in the sobs and breaks of her small voice. He was her dad - whether he wanted her or not.

 

[Monty Pendleton]

The thunder and Monty's heart broke simultaneously. "I know you're not; you are good," he said, his eyes filling with tears he had no need to suppress. His face was so wet with rain that the only way to tell the two apart was by their warmth. He lifted a soaked strand of hair from Saveli's face, but then, catching sight of her expression, half wished he hadn't. Against all his usual instincts he pulled his arms around her shoulders and hugged her close. It was the first time he'd ever done so. She'd called him dad. He wasn't even good enough to be a dad. "You're not going back," he whispered, his tears leaving warm trails down his cheeks. "Just don't ever scare me like that again. Please."

 

[Saveli Pendleton]

Saveli couldn't believe his words. She'd betrayed his trust so badly. The petite Slytherin continued to shake, even upon being pulled into her father's arms. She wondered for a moment how long he had been out looking for her - she couldn't believe he hadn't just left her on her own. Saveli was convinced he wouldn't care much if she left after all. "I promise." She said. Saveli would never run away again, she couldn't hurt the only family she had like that anymore. "Can we go home now?" She asked, moving away from him to wipe at her face, though it was futile as her hands and arms were soaked as it was.

 

[Monty Pendleton]

Monty held her til his knees hurt from kneeling and the rain finally began to show signs of letting up. There was a good chance he was squeezing her so hard she couldn't breathe, so eventually he loosened his arms, prompting Saveli to move away. He pocketed his wand, deeming it pointless to dry themselves off when it was still raining, and nodded. "Of course we can," he said, giving it a moment longer before climbing tiredly to his feet and holding his hand down to help his foster daughter to hers. In his other hand he took the bag she'd packed, which was equally as soaked as they were, and fought back further tears of guilt and sadness. He'd been foolish not to see it from the start. She'd never been trying to complicate things, or to hurt him - she'd merely misunderstood him, the same way he had misunderstood her. But now he understood. She was scared, and tired, and lost in a big world that never seemed to have a place for her. And though her words had hurt him, he knew that they were borne not out of spite or hatred, but of confusion and fear. They had both made mistakes that day, but what had torn them apart had ultimately brought them closer together. He was her dad - if only for a little while - and he knew that the steps he took with her now would be the ones that stayed with her forever. And for that reason, he held her hand tightly all the way home.

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FIN​

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