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- 4/2015 (46)
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Halloween. A terrifying day. The day that was nothing more than a huge scheme to scare those easily scared. And confuse those easily confused. Coming under both categories, a person had no chance. For so long, it was day that he'd not even known about. Oblivious to the holiday, if he even wanted to call it that. In a sense pleased of the little relevance it held in a life with so little. So glad of not having to push an already strained mind. The sickly smell of candy. The horribly loud music and influx of people all standing together in the same place. Mixing of groups. Halloween. A day of horrors. It was really nothing else. A day to hide away. But, Stefan Archer knew for a fact that he didn't need a day to do any of that. Stefan Archer, hide away every day. He took to his small dark corner and just waited. Waited for the storm to pass. For the sunlight to shine through and all darkness to fade. Wishful thinking. Hopeful Thinking. And really wasn't that the most important thing. Hope. Without any, there was nothing. Hope was that warmth that stayed when all else had faded. When night had fallen on a clear day in the bitterness of winter. Unlike most, Hope was Stefan's closest friend. It was his blanket. Where others had real comforters, Stefan had hope. And hope was all he needed. Silly had he been to think hope would form in the shape of a school. Hogwarts had been the escape he'd wished for, but not the one he hoped for. The one he hoped for came with his father's apology and a vow to stop. It wasn't right for him to have to put up with all that he did. His eyes welled whenever he got to a point where his mind reminded him of how he had it. How his father was to him. And how truly unfair it was that he was like that. Stefan Archer had no plans to get ready for Halloween. He hated the day. It made him confused, he didn't know who people were. He could barely make out much as the hall was made darker, for a "spooky" effect. All the costumes scared him. Why would people chose to wear such things. Some weren't dressed that badly, but it didn't make him any less afraid. Sure, he was aware that they were just having fun, but that to him didn't seem like fun. The Slytherin boy was sure, that it was better when a person was not colour blind, but he wouldn't ever know now would he.
On that Halloween, Stefan had pretty much sat on the dorm room floor, with his back against the wall the entire day. It wasn't like him to act like this. Despite what most people thought he was sure. Stefan made a point of going out at least once a day for food. But, Stefan hadn't eaten since the night before. It had almost been a full day. And despite this, Stefan still wasn't hungry. He just wanted the day to be over. For the festivities to be done and for all the others in the school to go to bed. Stefan hadn't ever known about this holiday until he'd over heard a group talk about it the year before. He hadn't known anything about it, and from what he'd seen on the side lines it wasn't something he liked. Now, he had chosen to stay pretty clear of it. Of anything to do with it. Hiding out in the little space he could call his own. Sitting on the cold ground, Stefan began to feel trapped. Which in a sense he was. Although it was self inflicted, he was still trapped in one place. This made him feel sick. It made him physically want to throw up. He stood quickly, and went to the bathroom. He didn't want to be sick in the dorm room. Or on his clothes. He knew all the others were away at the Feast. So he felt comfortable enough taking his jumper off and throwing it to the door before standing in front of a sink. He clutched the side with both his hands and let the coldness of the sink reach up his arms, causing hair to stand on ends and goose bumps to develop. His eyes were fixed on the small droplets of water that stayed almost frozen on the sink. Of course he couldn't actually be sick, he hadn't eaten. His stomach however wanted to be sick. He was now realising that he was really very hungry. He hadn't eaten in an entire day. He hadn't really eaten that much the day before. He was trapped, he was hungry. He had chills. His jumper was off. It felt like home. For a second as he stared at the sink he believed that he was back home. His head snapped up. Frightened eyes stared back at him. "Come on Stefan, get a grip" He muttered to himself, his eyes not moving away from there reflection. He wasn't at home, he was at hogwarts, and at Hogwarts Stefan knew he was safe. He'd be safe. Stefan's eyes moved to the bruises which crawled past his old tank top and reached up to his shoulder. More on one side than the other. They moved down to the bruise on his arm from where his father had grabbed him just before he left for the train. A sharp reminder that he wasn't free yet, was what they were. Unfortunately for him, his bruises took forever to heal. He put that to the fact he was so thin. And there was something else, he was reminded of as he stared at his reflection. His too skinny body. Lastly, his eyes glanced away from the mirror and stared at his arms and hands. His left wrist had almost a bracelet of bruising, followed by a long cut moving up his arm. Both fading slowly, but both, against his pale skin still clear. The scars on his hand. Still as clear. He lifted his right hand from the bowl and glanced at the scar. The Essecne of Murtlap had actually helped a lot. It wasn't perfectly healed, but it had stopped reopening. He'd taken the bandage off so it could have some air. Air
With that small thought Stefan was off. He tore himself away from the sink, where as he thought more and more about himself and his body and many scars he'd grown angry. He took his jumper and quickly put it on before taking his converses putting them on quickly and heading out the Dorm room. The Slytherin boy hadn't really planned anything for the day. And he knew what he needed to let his mind settle, to help his cuts and bruises. For Air, and for more peace. His first thought was the lake front, but, he thought against it. He couldn't venture that far from the castle. He needed to be sure, he'd get back without getting lost. So instead the Slytherin headed for the courtyard. It was a little too close to the hall than he wanted, but he knew if he went to the very end of the courtyard that it would be fine. He walked quickly, although still being sure he knew where he was going and being sure that he wouldn't fall and hurt himself. The fact the feast was currently in full swing wasn't actually phasing the Slytherin. He would just quickly walk past the hall, and no one would notice him. Not Kate. Not Sara and not Willow. He didn't need them. Well, that was wrong, he did need them, but he didn't want them to need him. Better off without me. His mind told him. He wanted to see Willow again, but his mind reminded him that while he'd agreed to be friends, it was only a matter a time before she realised he was no good for her. Stefan was also aware that it wasn't long till one of the three or all of the girls put the pieces together. Well, they would believe that they'd figured him out. Why he was acting like that, the real reason for the scars, his skinniness. Stefan Archer was an awful liar. And he knew all three girls were smart enough to put the pieces together. A lot smarter than he was anyway. Stefan knew that Willow had problems with the magic side of things, but she would at least be doing better than him. Taking more in, and she had the advantage of school before magic. Stefan had nothing. He had this education, and it wasn't like he was actually excelling. Stefan knew that if he actually listened in all his lesson he would be a lot better at it all. But he had problems with the bare basics, the rest was like a foreign language to him.
With eyes glued to the floor, Stefan Mason Archer walked past the Great Hall. He did not even steal a glance into the room. Instead he just headed straight out the doors and practically sighed in relief as the cool spring air hit his face. Stefan took a deep breath in sucking all the air he could and then exhaled. He was breathing as if it was a new thing. Like he'd just discovered he could breath. Stefan now let his eyes wander the empty courtyard. The dark blue eyes of the boy took in the many sights. The plants, the benches. The little spots of brighter light which came from within the hall. It was pretty dark already, but Stefan could see from the simple fact that the light from the great hall and other areas of the school, gave the courtyard a sunset look to it. The slytherin boy walked slowly, to the end of the court, to the corner where a bench and a pillar met. He took a seat on the bench, and sat facing the opposite wall, with his feet on the bench and his back against the wall and pillar. He sighed. Never had he ever thought he'd be at a place like this. Sure, he'd always imagined himself alone. But not at a place like Hogwarts. Still one and a quarter years into Hogwarts and Stefan still had problems believing it was all real. But, he knew it was. It had to be. Hogwarts was that one shred of good in his life, beside the friends he'd once had. Sitting alone on the empty courtyard, Stefan was able to just clear his mind. He was happily alone that Halloween light. It was peaceful, he was calm. The rest of the world, would ignore him, and he could just let his eyes stare upwards and ignore the rest of the world. Despite his lack of friends, the slight coldness, his growing hunger(with his stomach quietly reminding him every so often) his scars, the thoughts of what his father would be like when he returned, despite everything that the slytherin had to think and worry about. Stefan Archer was happy.
<SIZE size="50">On that Halloween, Stefan had pretty much sat on the dorm room floor, with his back against the wall the entire day. It wasn't like him to act like this. Despite what most people thought he was sure. Stefan made a point of going out at least once a day for food. But, Stefan hadn't eaten since the night before. It had almost been a full day. And despite this, Stefan still wasn't hungry. He just wanted the day to be over. For the festivities to be done and for all the others in the school to go to bed. Stefan hadn't ever known about this holiday until he'd over heard a group talk about it the year before. He hadn't known anything about it, and from what he'd seen on the side lines it wasn't something he liked. Now, he had chosen to stay pretty clear of it. Of anything to do with it. Hiding out in the little space he could call his own. Sitting on the cold ground, Stefan began to feel trapped. Which in a sense he was. Although it was self inflicted, he was still trapped in one place. This made him feel sick. It made him physically want to throw up. He stood quickly, and went to the bathroom. He didn't want to be sick in the dorm room. Or on his clothes. He knew all the others were away at the Feast. So he felt comfortable enough taking his jumper off and throwing it to the door before standing in front of a sink. He clutched the side with both his hands and let the coldness of the sink reach up his arms, causing hair to stand on ends and goose bumps to develop. His eyes were fixed on the small droplets of water that stayed almost frozen on the sink. Of course he couldn't actually be sick, he hadn't eaten. His stomach however wanted to be sick. He was now realising that he was really very hungry. He hadn't eaten in an entire day. He hadn't really eaten that much the day before. He was trapped, he was hungry. He had chills. His jumper was off. It felt like home. For a second as he stared at the sink he believed that he was back home. His head snapped up. Frightened eyes stared back at him. "Come on Stefan, get a grip" He muttered to himself, his eyes not moving away from there reflection. He wasn't at home, he was at hogwarts, and at Hogwarts Stefan knew he was safe. He'd be safe. Stefan's eyes moved to the bruises which crawled past his old tank top and reached up to his shoulder. More on one side than the other. They moved down to the bruise on his arm from where his father had grabbed him just before he left for the train. A sharp reminder that he wasn't free yet, was what they were. Unfortunately for him, his bruises took forever to heal. He put that to the fact he was so thin. And there was something else, he was reminded of as he stared at his reflection. His too skinny body. Lastly, his eyes glanced away from the mirror and stared at his arms and hands. His left wrist had almost a bracelet of bruising, followed by a long cut moving up his arm. Both fading slowly, but both, against his pale skin still clear. The scars on his hand. Still as clear. He lifted his right hand from the bowl and glanced at the scar. The Essecne of Murtlap had actually helped a lot. It wasn't perfectly healed, but it had stopped reopening. He'd taken the bandage off so it could have some air. Air
With that small thought Stefan was off. He tore himself away from the sink, where as he thought more and more about himself and his body and many scars he'd grown angry. He took his jumper and quickly put it on before taking his converses putting them on quickly and heading out the Dorm room. The Slytherin boy hadn't really planned anything for the day. And he knew what he needed to let his mind settle, to help his cuts and bruises. For Air, and for more peace. His first thought was the lake front, but, he thought against it. He couldn't venture that far from the castle. He needed to be sure, he'd get back without getting lost. So instead the Slytherin headed for the courtyard. It was a little too close to the hall than he wanted, but he knew if he went to the very end of the courtyard that it would be fine. He walked quickly, although still being sure he knew where he was going and being sure that he wouldn't fall and hurt himself. The fact the feast was currently in full swing wasn't actually phasing the Slytherin. He would just quickly walk past the hall, and no one would notice him. Not Kate. Not Sara and not Willow. He didn't need them. Well, that was wrong, he did need them, but he didn't want them to need him. Better off without me. His mind told him. He wanted to see Willow again, but his mind reminded him that while he'd agreed to be friends, it was only a matter a time before she realised he was no good for her. Stefan was also aware that it wasn't long till one of the three or all of the girls put the pieces together. Well, they would believe that they'd figured him out. Why he was acting like that, the real reason for the scars, his skinniness. Stefan Archer was an awful liar. And he knew all three girls were smart enough to put the pieces together. A lot smarter than he was anyway. Stefan knew that Willow had problems with the magic side of things, but she would at least be doing better than him. Taking more in, and she had the advantage of school before magic. Stefan had nothing. He had this education, and it wasn't like he was actually excelling. Stefan knew that if he actually listened in all his lesson he would be a lot better at it all. But he had problems with the bare basics, the rest was like a foreign language to him.
With eyes glued to the floor, Stefan Mason Archer walked past the Great Hall. He did not even steal a glance into the room. Instead he just headed straight out the doors and practically sighed in relief as the cool spring air hit his face. Stefan took a deep breath in sucking all the air he could and then exhaled. He was breathing as if it was a new thing. Like he'd just discovered he could breath. Stefan now let his eyes wander the empty courtyard. The dark blue eyes of the boy took in the many sights. The plants, the benches. The little spots of brighter light which came from within the hall. It was pretty dark already, but Stefan could see from the simple fact that the light from the great hall and other areas of the school, gave the courtyard a sunset look to it. The slytherin boy walked slowly, to the end of the court, to the corner where a bench and a pillar met. He took a seat on the bench, and sat facing the opposite wall, with his feet on the bench and his back against the wall and pillar. He sighed. Never had he ever thought he'd be at a place like this. Sure, he'd always imagined himself alone. But not at a place like Hogwarts. Still one and a quarter years into Hogwarts and Stefan still had problems believing it was all real. But, he knew it was. It had to be. Hogwarts was that one shred of good in his life, beside the friends he'd once had. Sitting alone on the empty courtyard, Stefan was able to just clear his mind. He was happily alone that Halloween light. It was peaceful, he was calm. The rest of the world, would ignore him, and he could just let his eyes stare upwards and ignore the rest of the world. Despite his lack of friends, the slight coldness, his growing hunger(with his stomach quietly reminding him every so often) his scars, the thoughts of what his father would be like when he returned, despite everything that the slytherin had to think and worry about. Stefan Archer was happy.
- Out of Character:
Sorry about the size of it.
I got a little carried away.