Open Wandering Worries

[Tyler Lee]

Tyler had been feeling strangely restless since returning to Hogwarts for his final semester. He still felt awkward around Blake and had been avoiding him, but he also felt oddly melancholy at the idea of leaving Hogwarts without repairing that relationship. Tyler also felt the pressure of the final exams more and more each day, knowing that he would have to pick what he wanted to do after he finished his education. Would he go with what his parents wanted, or would he go with what he wanted in his heart? Tyler wanted to pursue duelling but didn't know if he was good enough. He was now planning the new tournament with Sydney and he couldn't help but be nervous about it. He wanted to win for his year, wanted to prove to himself and to everyone else that he was good enough.

The Slytherin was already busy studying, knowing that every second he prepared for the exam was a second well-spent. He had taken one of his books outside and was sitting against a tree, book propped on his knees as he tried his best to focus. Unfortunately, History of Magic was dreadfully boring and Tyler's eyes kept skipping over words, his attention wandering the more he tried to focus.

 

[Blake van Houten]

This year would be Blake's final Quidditch championship at Hogwarts, and the match was taking up far more of his thoughts than the upcoming NEWTs. It was his last chance to impress any professional teams scouting for talent, and he knew he needed to make a good impression. Any time Blake wasn't on the pitch was spent training, doing anything he could to give himself a better chance. Training didn't just mean in the air though, and Blake was conscious that he couldn't skip leg day. He'd come into Quidditch with more lower body strength than upper from his years of ice hockey, and he didn't want to lose that tone. So he had been jogging whenever he could ever since coming to Hogwarts, thinking back to his days on the rink. Maybe after school he could take up skating again...

Blake was pulled out of his thoughts by the sight of a familiar face, heart dropping slightly at the sight of Tyler. He had known since their fight last year that their friendship was beyond saving, that he needed to know a lost cause when he saw one, but even so, letting go of his first friend in the wizarding world was easier said than done. Blake slowed down as he drew close to Tyler, eventually stopping entirely in front of his roommate. "Hey." Blake said a little warily, realising too late that he hadn't actually figured out what he was going to say. "How... have you been?"

 

[Tyler Lee]

Tyler tried to force himself to focus on his book, but he couldn't keep the stupid goblin rebellions straight anymore. He groaned, almost ready to throw the book in the lake and stop taking the stupid class, when he suddenly spotted Blake. He blinked at the other boy, surprised to see him here. What was he doing? Shouldn't he be making out with dorky Lars somewhere? That was Tyler's best guess about what Blake did in his free time these days. Besides stupid Quidditch, of course. "Fine." He said, not returning his greeting. "What do you want, Blake?"

 

[Blake van Houten]

As soon as Tyler spoke, Blake began regretting this move. He hadn't had a good conversation with Tyler since their unfortunate kiss, and there was no reason to think things would get better now. He shrugged slightly at Tyler's question, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "Just saying hey." Blake said slowly. "I... it's been a while since we've talked."

 

[Tyler Lee]

Tyler nodded when Blake said he just wanted to say hey, though he didn't think that could be all. When he said it had been a while since they had talked, he snorted. It was an understatement. For two people who shared a bedroom it was almost impressive how little they communicated. Tyler had perfected the art of avoiding or ignoring Blake over the years. "You seem to be fine." He said coolly. "I hope you don't expect me to congratulate you for dating... Lars." He said, wrinkling his nose in distaste.

 

[Blake van Houten]

Blake hadn't exactly held high hopes for this conversation, but his blood turned to ice immediately when Tyler spoke. "Right." Blake snapped, any light immediately gone from his voice. He knew Tyler's objection was on the basis of Lars' social standing, not anything to do with his family's reasons for disapproving, but the words cut deep all the same. Blake took a step back, his instinct just to flee the conversation, but something held him back. "You know, this is a choice you're making." He snapped, meeting Tyler's eyes for the first time in what felt like forever. "Nobody's making you be such a d*ckhead to everyone. You could stop it any time you wanted. I did, and I'm actually happy now."

 

[Tyler Lee]

Tyler sighed when Blake reacted angrily, but it had been his goal. If Blake stormed off, at least it would mean they weren't having a completely awkward conversation. But apparently, Blake decided to stay and argue the point. Tyler sighed. "Yeah, whatever." He muttered. "In case you forgot, we're not friends. I have no reason to be nice to you." He said shortly. "Clearly, you don't care what I think anyway, why don't you just run off and be happy with Lars then? Why bother talking to me if I'm such a d*ckhead?" He asked, managing to keep his voice even, though old frustration was coming to the surface.

 

[Blake van Houten]

Blake knew better by now to expect anything he had to say to actually sink in for Tyler, but he couldn't help himself from speaking anyway. He folded his arms as Tyler spoke, glaring at his roommate slightly. "I bother because we used to be friends." Blake said firmly. "And I want... I want things to be better for you, even if you don't give a sh*t about me anymore."

 

[Tyler Lee]

Tyler sighed at Blake's words, still not quite looking at him. "Right, we used to be." He said coolly. "I know you're just blaming me for us not being friends anymore, but you're the one who started avoiding me." He said. He then laughed. "Things can't be better for me, Blake. Things are perfect. I have a beautiful girlfriend, a secure future. You don't have to worry about me." He told him.

 

[Blake van Houten]

Blake sighed in frustration as Tyler went on, glaring at his roommate. "I started avoiding you because you were pissed at me! And look, you had reason to be, but we're both not stupid kids anymore! I've tried so hard to reach out to you, you can't say I'm still avoiding you!" Bragging about his life was exactly like Tyler, one of the parts of the other boy Blake had always found the most frustrating, and he sighed angrily. "Cool, and I've got a great boyfriend and a good chance at an awesome career. That stuff doesn't mean sh*t if you're not... happy, if you're not also a good person." He said, giving Tyler a look. "The kind of person people actually want to have around."

 

[Tyler Lee]

Tyler flushed at Blake's accusation. "I wasn't pissed because you kissed me, if that's what you think." He snapped. "You were most upset about that." He added under his breath. He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, like Quidditch is in any way sustainable. You can't coast on that forever, you know." He told him. "And thanks for the preschool lesson. Learn that from your boyfriend as he made you flower crowns and you two sang a song about friendships and rainbows together?" He asked sarcastically.

 

[Blake van Houten]

Blake flushed at the reminder of their kiss, scowling in frustration. "No, you were pissed because I kissed Sierra!" He snapped. "And like, yeah, that was a d*ck move. So I gave you space, and I had no f*cking friends at all for ages, and now you're mad at me for that?!" He sighed in frustration, struggling to keep his temper in check. Tyler was like talking to a brick wall, and Blake didn't know why he had even tried in the first place. It was so clear that the friendship he was nostalgic for was long dead. He rolled his eyes as Tyler mocked him and Lars, giving his roommate a vicious look. "You know what? Yeah." He snapped, glaring at Tyler. "And then we rode off on a unicorn, 'cause we're not so insecure we have to make fun of other people to make ourselves feel good. Do you feel good? Do you feel like a big tough man making fun of us? You sound like my dad, it's pathetic."

 

[Tyler Lee]

Tyler frowned. "Yeah, I was mad you kissed the girl I liked, but you don't get to put it all on me." He snapped back. "You were like, terrified and stayed out of my way. Like you thought I'd tell on you or something." He said, getting frustrated as well. "But I guess part of being the good guy now is making me the only one to blame for you having no friends." He added, scoffing. "From what I could tell, you've been Mr. Popular on the Quidditch team for the past few years." He said, crossing his arm. He knew that making fun of Lars was a way to make Blake angry, and he felt a strange satisfaction as he saw Blake react how he had thought he would. "It's just a joke, you're so sensitive." He said with a roll of his eyes. "You used to say things way worse than that, but I guess I'm supposed to forget about that." He told him. The comment about his dad puzzled Tyler and he frowned. "How do I sound like your dad?" He couldn't help asking. He had always heard Blake talk about his dad admiringly, but it seemed like a lot had changed on that front as well. Tyler had never met him. He suddenly felt a pang of sadness, as he realized he had no idea what was going on with Blake. He cleared his throat. "That... joke wasn't like, about being gay or whatever." He added. "If you thought that." He mumbled more quietly.

 

[Blake van Houten]

Blake couldn't help laughing in disbelief when Tyler called him Mr. Popular. "You're joking right?!" He snorted. "Do you see me hanging out with Mordred or Daintree when practice is over? I'm the captain, that doesn't mean people like me." He snorted. "Pretty sure most of them hate me, to be honest." It felt strange, voicing a thought he tried hard not to give any space in his mind. The team didn't need to like him for them to be a champion team, but it... it would be nice, maybe. He had been planning to just storm away after commenting on Tyler's joke, but the change in tone in the other boy's response surprised him, though he snorted softly when Tyler said it hadn't been a gay joke. "Well it sounded like one." He snapped. "You know my family won't even look at me anymore? I've lived with Lars for almost a year now. Didn't even get to go home and pack my stuff. So yeah, gay jokes are a bit of a sore spot." Blake could feel the venom slipping out of his voice as he spoke, more things he tried so hard not to think about.

 

[Tyler Lee]

Tyler shrugged. "I hear everyone talking about you and I see you hanging around with plenty of people." He said coolly. "Jasper, for example." He added pointedly. Tyler sighed when Blake snapped at me. "It wasn't. You're too sensitive." He told him. "That sucks about your family, but I didn't know that because I don't know anything about you anymore." He told him with a shrug. "It's awful, but it's not... like... I stopped talking to you because of that." He said with a shrug. "Don't... group me with them."

 

[Blake van Houten]

Blake knew he shouldn't be letting Tyler get under his skin, knew he should be better than this, but he couldn't hold back the part of him that wanted to fight. "Yeah, I apologised to Jasper at the same time I apologised to you." He snapped. "Difference is, he accepted." Blake scowled, folding his arms. He knew it was maybe a childish remark, but Tyler holding a grudge over such a stupid fight felt even more childish to him. He rolled his eyes, glaring at Tyler when he commented about Blake's family. "I think I'm entitled to be sensitive about sh*t that lost me my family." He snapped. "You could have known, if you cared. I tried so hard to reach out to you, I told you I was having problems with my family, and you thought it was more important to... I dunno. To... win the conversation, or whatever. I... you were the only person who knew, and you decided you didn't care. You don't get to blame me for that."

 

[Tyler Lee]

Tyler rolled his eyes. "Yeah, Jasper is a real aspiration." He muttered under his breath. He shrugged when Blake started talking about his own problems, looking away uncomfortably. He scowled. "When did you try to reach out to me? You're changing the story and only making it sound like I avoided you. You ran away, you stopped hanging out with me." He snapped. "You being gay has nothing to do with why our friendship ended, okay?"

 

[Blake van Houten]

Blake rolled his eyes at Tyler's diss, reminded sharply of how things had fallen between the three of them in first year. "Yeah, he is." He said firmly. He frowned when Tyler accused him of changing the story, shaking his head. "I'm talking about last year. I apologised to you. I told you I was having problems with my family, I tried to be... I tried to make us okay. You're the one who couldn't take a bloody apology."