Open The Start of Slow Goodbyes

[Alice Holland]

Alice felt a little melancholy, returning to Hogwarts for her final semester. She knew from experience how fast this semester would go, especially with all the different events going on and the frantic studying for the NEWTs. The end of the school year was still far away now, but Alice knew it would be over before she knew it. Then she would have to leave, and while she had some ideas of what she wanted to do after graduation, the thought still scared her. Alice decided to make a point of visiting all her favorite places in the school this semester, so she could properly say goodbye to all of them. The gardens were first on her list, as Alice loved going there, especially now when it was still summer. She found a spot to sit and looked out over the beautiful flowers and other plants, her thoughts drifting. She knew she would have to work on her head girl speech soon too, but that would make the idea of graduating all the more real.

 

[Connor Holland]

Although he had been feeling more and more settled in his place at Hogwarts, there were some aspects of his school life that still threw Connor back to the anxiety that had plagued his first couple of years here. One of those aspects was his cousins. The French ones had been surprisingly easy to avoid, other than when Grace had been his teacher, but Connor's first encounter with Alice had left him permanently afraid of the Hufflepuff. He had been taking steps towards getting over that fear, even spending time with her at the beginning of the year, but when he saw her in the garden he still paused for a moment, fear gripping his stomach. After looking around and making certain Alice wasn't accompanied by the Gryffindor girl who had fought with Eric so many years ago, he decided to be brave. Alice was close to graduating now, and if he didn't take this chance to talk to her now, he might never get another. "Hi..." Connor said shyly, sidling over to the Hufflepuff. "The, um, the garden is nice today, isn't it?" He asked, realising he had no idea what to actually talk to his cousin about.

 

[Alice Holland]

Alice looked up as someone joined her smiling at the sight of her younger cousin. Connor always reminded her a bit of herself, which might just be because he was the only other person in her family who had been sorted into Hufflepuff. He had always been shy, almost seeming scared of her family. But Alice figured a lot of that had to do with his brother, who was thankfully nowhere to be seen. "Hi Connor." She said quietly as she scooted to the side to make room for him next to her. "It's pretty nice. I love the garden." She said, looking out over the flowers again. "Were you going for a walk?"

 

[Connor Holland]

Connor always found Alice's gentle tone soothing, and it relieved some of his fears about the harsh Gryffindor she hung around. The scary girl wasn't here anyway, there was nothing to worry about, he reminded himself as he slid into a seat next to her. "Me too." He said quietly when Alice said she loved the garden, then nodded. "Yeah, I really like the flowers." He said quietly, ignoring Eric's voice in the back of his head telling him off for being so soft.

 

[Alice Holland]

Alice was glad for this moment with Connor, as she hadn't gotten to know her cousin nearly as much as she wished she had over the past few years. He seemed like a sweet boy. Alice smiled at him. "Me too. The garden is definitely my favorite place here at Hogwarts." She said, sighing a little wistfully as she looked over at the flowers. "I'm definitely going to miss this place." She added a bit more quietly. Graduation was coming up, and it seemed to cast a shadow over everything she did at Hogwarts these days. She cleared her throat. "How have you been, Connor?" She asked. "I watched you play in your matches, you're really good." Alice and her sisters all seemed to have missed out on whatever gene it was that made you good at Quidditch, but it seemed like Connor took after Grace in that department.

 

[Connor Holland]

Connor nodded quietly when Alice spoke about the garden, somehow not surprised. She had always felt to him like the sort of person to enjoy gardens, and he had seen her in the Wild Patch before. "Mine too." Connor agreed, heart sinking softly when she spoke about graduating. Of all his extended family, Alice was the only one he had ever really talked to, and Connor was going to miss her being around, even if she did scare him. He smiled shyly when she brought up Quidditch, pleasantly surprised that she had been coming to his games. "Thanks!" Connor said brightly. "It's really different to rugby, but I've been having fun."

 

[Alice Holland]

Alice smiled when Connor told her the gardens were his favorite too. She had sort of expected as much, as they were both in Wild Patch. "I feel like i have to apologize to you." Alice suddenly said, the words almost leaving her involuntarily. "I'm sorry I haven't... done more for you. We're family, I should have looked out for you more, especially because we're in the same house." She said. "I know your brother wouldn't like it, which is why I didn't... but I should probably have looked out for him a bit more too." She admitted. "Sorry, I guess I'm getting all reflective this close to graduation." Alice said with a small smile and a shake of her head. "You play rugby too?" She asked him. "That's impressive, I've never been very good at sports like that." She admitted.

 

[Connor Holland]

Although talking to his cousin always made him nervous, Connor was starting to relax a bit into this conversation with Alice. She had always been the least scary of his cousins, and she was easy to talk to, as long as that Gryffindor girl wasn't around. He was startled when all of a sudden she shifted the subject, apologising to him. Connor looked up at the older Hufflepuff in surprise, taking in what she had to say. He had realised a long time ago that his brother was wrong about the rest of their family, that they weren't all the cruel, callous monsters Eric believed them to be, but the fact that Alice actually.... wanted to be there for him, that she regretted she hadn't been, that was a surprise. "Oh..." Connor said faintly, looking up at her. "You... don't have to apologise." He said hesitantly, thinking over what she had said. "You're... kind of right about Eric. He probably would have... kicked up a fuss if you had tried to help us." Connor said hesitantly, feeling guilty about criticising Eric to someone he knew his brother didn't like. "But.... thank you." He smiled shyly. "You're... the only other member of our family that's been nice to me, really." He was relieved when she turned the subject to sports, shrugging slightly. "I've always played sports, since I was really little. Eric and I were on the same team when we were kids, but I guess he got sick of sports when he came to Hogwarts..."

 

[Alice Holland]

Alice sighed and smiled sadly when Connor talked about his brother. She wished she understood him better, wished she knew why he was so resentful. "Well, I still should have." Alice said, before hesitating for a moment. "We should try to keep in touch after I graduate, we're family." She told him softly. "I want us to be closer. My dad and your mom figured it out, right? So why can't we?" She paused. "Maybe... Eric will come around?" She asked him carefully, though she doubted that would be the case if she was honest. Alice smiled when Connor talked about Quidditch. "What did you used to play?" She asked him, figuring it wasn't Quidditch. Though she supposed she didn't know if there were Australian child Quidditch teams.

 

[Connor Holland]

Connor couldn't help the smile that sprung to his face when his cousin brought up writing to each other, nodding quickly. "I'd like that." He said quickly. His smile sunk though when she mentioned Eric. "I dunno..." Connor said hesitantly, shifting a little in his seat. "He doesn't like you guys because... you all had this... easy life with... plenty of money and stuff, and two parents, and..." Connor shrugged. "But it's not like it's... your fault. I don't... really get him." He perked up slightly when Alice asked about sports. "Oh, I played rugby, it's really fun. Did you ever play it?"

 

[Alice Holland]

Alice listened quietly as Connor explained why Eric didn't like them, a small frown appearing on her face. "That's why?"She asked, a little baffled. "I don't think I understand that either." She then said, shaking her head. She wondered how someone could be so upset with someone else for that, though she supposed growing up had been easier for her than it might have been for Eric. Alice shook her head when Connor asked her about rugby, smiling a little. "I'm afraid I'm not the biggest sports person."

 

[Connor Holland]

Connor didn't really like Alice's expression as he explained Eric's problems, struggling a little to figure out how to put it into words. "It's... look." He hesitated. "We had.. really hard childhoods. Because of your dad, and their other brother. Mum doesn't like to talk about it, but we... know the gist. We didn't have any money, and... when our dad left there wasn't anyone around to help our mum. And that's... your dad's fault, but you guys got to... be rich and have all this nice stuff, and comfortable childhoods, and... it really upsets Eric." Connor had never actually tried to put his brother's perspective into words, but... actually speaking it out loud, Eric did have a point. "I know your dad apologised, and you guys... weren't even born yet, but... it's just... it's... it sucks to think about, and Eric's been... hurting about it for a really long time."

 

[Alice Holland]

Alice quietly listened as Connor explained more about his family, telling her about a side of her family history she had never known much about. "Oh." She said, frowning a little. "I... understand being upset about that." She finally said, feeling more sympathy for Eric than she had before. "But I know my dad tried to find your mother, but couldn't. He was so happy when they finally reunited again..." She bit her lip for a moment. "But I don't suppose that makes up for the past." She added, sighing softly. "I just wish I could have helped, could have shown your brother we're not bad, that we want you guys to be part of the family." She glanced at him. "Do you think he'll ever want to?"

 

[Connor Holland]

Connor had known explaining Eric's perspective to any of his cousins was risky but it seemed clear to him that Alice was the most likely to take it well, and to Connor's relief she did just that, listening and answering thoughtfully. He considered her question in turn, giving a small shrug in response. "Maybe..." He said hesitantly. "I've been... trying to convince him to talk to you, but he's..." Connor sighed softly. "I don't know. Eric... I think it's easier for him to be angry than risk being hurt again. Things have been really hard for him, and he's learned to just... expect the worst. It's not easy to get him to change his mind or... trust people."