Open The Sound of the Bird That Mourns

[Harper Alston]

Plot ID #111804​

Harper had made her fair share of mistakes in her nearly 17 years of life. But not a single one came remotely close to this.

When she'd regained consciousness in the abandoned classroom, Harper had thought her nightmare — one in which she'd suffered a painful partial transfiguration during her animagus practice — had ended. But one look in the mirror, and she knew that not only had the nightmare been real, but it was also just starting. The left side of her face was completely covered in brown and blonde feathers, and her jaw and cheek bones bulged strangely. Her lips had turned black, and the skin that was visible around her nose and mouth was jaundiced. Perhaps worst of all was her left eye. It was gone, replaced by a beady black thing, rimmed in yellow.

Seeing her reflection had almost made Harper pass out again. But true dread didn't sink in until she had tried to transfigure her features back and found she couldn't. She was stuck. That was when she had grown hysterical and rushed to the Hospital Wing, where a group of nurses immediately descended on her.

That had been nearly an hour ago, and even though Harper had been giving a Calming Draught to dull her emotions, panic still thrashed deep in her chest. There was no spell or potion that could fix a botched animagus transformation. In fact, some unfortunate wizards spent their whole lives stuck as half-human, half-animal mutations. The only person who could undo the damage to her partially transfigured face was Harper herself. But even as she squeezed her eyes shut over and over again, trying to will her birdlike features back to their normal human state, Harper couldn't help but think that this was one life-ruining mistake she wouldn't be coming back from.

 

[Charles Abberline]

When the nurses of the Hospital Wing told him about the condition that they had found the girl in, Charlie couldn't help but shake his head in disappointment. How the girl could have attempted such a thing without a teacher's supervision was beyond him, especially since she should have known better. He only knew what she had been trying to accomplish on her own because of a note left behind by the previous Transfiguration Professors. This was also why he knew that one of the girl's previous Professors functioned as her instructor as well, which further explained why she hadn't come to see him or Professor Cade for guidance when her initial instructor had left the school. Things would have been much easier with an animagus as an instructor, for sure.

It was only when the nurses had given the girl a Calming Draught that they allowed him to go and talk to her about the state she was in and the reason she had attempted this kind of self-transfiguration without guidance. While it might not be the best of times to talk to her about it, she was most likely still shaken from the whole experience, Charlie carefully approached the bed anyway, taking in the birdlike features on the left side of the girl's face. He felt bad seeing one of his students like this, especially since he or the other Professor could have helped to prevent it from happening. ''Harper, right?'' the Professor asked, looking at the human half of her face. ''How are you feeling?'' Perhaps he could help her from this point forward, even if his time at the castle was brief.

 

[Harper Alston]

At the sound of footsteps, Harper ducked her head and turned her face to the side in an attempt to conceal the transfiguration — not that it helped much. The damage was so widespread that it only took one glance at her to know that something was terribly wrong. But she tried anyways because she didn't want anyone seeing her like this. She knew her face was a grotesque sight, and while Harper had never been one to care much about her appearance, that had been before she'd turned into a half-human, half-bird monster.

It was Professor Abberline; the nurses must have sent for him in an attempt to fix this. Harper was torn between relief that someone with transfiguration expertise was here and mortification that her professor now knew about her bungled transformation. She nodded at his first question, noting the way that he focused on the right side of her face. "They gave me a Calming Draught," Harper mumbled. The potion had muted the panic and the fear, but she could still feel them. Maybe she needed another dose. "Am I... am I going to be stuck like this forever?" she asked, her voice cracking at the last word. It was a stupid question, but it was all Harper could think about. How could she return to her normal life if she looked like this? She'd never be able to go into the muggle world again.

 

[Charles Abberline]

However grotesque the botched transformation might be, Professor Abberline tried his hardest to focus on the human half of Harper's face only. She would be well aware of her appearance by now and he did not want to make her feel even worse about herself. ''I don't think you will and neither do the nurses,'' Charlie answered with a reassuring smile. ''I'm not going to lie to you, it would have been easier to transform you back had you been stuck in bird form, as there's a spell that would have reversed that quite easily. This half-and-half transformation is a bit more difficult to resolve but not impossible.'' It was going to take time and patience to get rid of the birdlike features on her face but it definitely was not impossible to remove them, it was more of a matter of finding the right spell or potion. Even Harper herself might be able to remove some, if not all, of it by trying to reverse it with guidance from a nurse or professor. ''Do you remember what you were trying to do exactly,'' he asked, hoping that it might give him a hint on how to reverse it. ''Like, what were you thinking about and what were you doing that caused this to happen?''

 

[Harper Alston]

Harper wasn't sure she believed him. She'd seen the look on the first nurse's face when she'd told them that her disfigured appearance was not due to a Polyjuice Potion gone wrong, but rather an animagus transfiguration. There had been fear. Besides, Harper had sat through Professor Summers' lectures and read just about every book on animagus theory in the library. History was replete with examples of wizards who had suffered terribly while trying to become animagi.

At the mention of a full transformation, Harper's stomach dropped. He thought she was a real animagus — one who was capable of completing the transformation — when in reality, she was a fraud, a wannabe, someone who had never even come close to fully transforming. She probably shouldn't have even been given lessons in the first place. The thought made Harper want to cry, and she fumbled for the glass of Calming Draught the nurses had left behind and took a sip. At least she'd fallen unconscious before she could grow a beak.

Harper took a deep shuddering breath. She had tried not to think too much about the exact moment when everything had gone wrong, in part because she was afraid doing so would inadvertently cause the transformations to restart. "I was trying to transfigure part of my face," she said shakily. "I've been training to become an animagus for years now, and I... I wanted to grow a couple feathers. I'd done it before, mostly with my arms, but this time, I... I lost control of the transformation. I couldn't stop it." Harper averted her gaze as she tried to recall what had happened before she'd passed out from the pain. "It started like every other time. There was the vision, the swooping feeling, and I could see myself — I mean, I could see the bird, y'know, my form. But then it started to hurt, when the transformation started, it hurt, and it's never done that before. But I pushed past it." Stupid. She had been so, so, so stupid. How many times had her trainers and coaches told her that pain was a sign that something was wrong? And yet she'd ignored the biggest warning sign of all.

She glanced back up at Professor Abberline, wondering if he had understood any of her incoherent rambling. "Are you an animagus?" It was a question that, in hindsight, she should have asked at the beginning of the semester. Maybe if she had, she could have avoided ruining her life.

 

[Charles Abberline]

Professor Abberline could tell that Harper did not believe him when he told her that the botched animagus transfiguration could be reversed, and part of him didn't think that he could blame her for not believing him. She had seen what she looked like and the reaction the nurses had given her when she first entered into the Hospital Wing probably didn't help much either. And then there were the stories of those unlucky few who were forced to spend the rest of their lives stuck as half-human, half-animal hybrids because they hadn't been careful enough. There was no doubt about it that those stories were probably on her mind as well, so he really couldn't blame her for not being able to think positively on this. Thankfully, she had a glass of Calming Draught to help with all the emotions.

He listened carefully as Harper did her best to recount what had happened at the exact moment when everything had gone wrong and what had happened just before that. It was a relief to hear that she had been training to become an animagus for some time now and that she already had some experience with the transformation, however small those transformations might seem to her. Those little experiences would help going forward, he was sure of it. When she was done retelling what had happened, the Professor studied her for a moment and couldn't help but admire her for being able to push past something that must have been excruciatingly painful to undergo. In the end, he didn't think that she was a failure or that she wasn't trying hard enough to succeed, but he did think that she needed to learn to be more patient in the future. She'd never succeed in becoming one otherwise.

The way she described how everything had happened made him wonder for a second if they should repeat the process. If one could lead to another then perhaps it was possible to reverse it by picturing herself instead of the bird. He'd have to talk to the nurses about it though.

''While I am quite skilled in Human Transfiguration, I'm afraid that I have not mastered the ability to turn myself into an animal whenever I want. I do hope, however, that it should not matter whether I am one or not if you want to continue your training once you feel better?'' Charlie knew that this was probably not the answer Harper wanted to hear come out of his mouth but it was the truth. He would gladly help her with her training if she accepted his help.

 

[Harper Alston]

Harper shifted uncomfortably under Professor Abberline's gaze. Between the feathers blanketing her face and her disjointed speech, she could only imagine how she was coming across. And that didn't even take into account the stuff she'd actually said. She'd just revealed the full extent of her arrogance. What else did you call a 16-year-old girl who thought she could teach herself a skill that took some people decades to master? How reckless, she had been. How foolish. Harper cringed a little, almost regretting telling him the truth.

Sensing that she was on the verge of another anxious negativity spiral, Harper took another sip of the Calming Draught. It was a good thing she did because her chest tightened when Professor Abberline answered her question. Harper did her best to conceal her disappointment, but she was sure he could still see it. A small part of her had been holding onto the hope that he was an animagus who had a simple trick or two for reversing this transformation.

The mention of training caught Harper off-guard. "What?" It took her a moment to even process the offer. For the first time since she'd arrived in the Hospital Wing, her attention was fully diverted from the awful, life-altering mistake she'd made. "Training?" She hadn't even realised that there would be any animagus training after this. Her mind had simply refused to skip forward that far. "But my face..." she said, gesturing vaguely to her left side. "I need to fix this first." She took another deep breath. "I can't... I can't stay stuck like this. I just can't." Maybe there were wizards who had made life as a half-human, half-animal hybrid work. Maybe that was possible in the magical world. But Harper didn't just belong to the magical world; half her life and all her roots were in the muggle world.

 

[Charles Abberline]

There it was, the disappointment of hearing that he wasn't an animagus. He knew that she would have liked to hear otherwise and he would have loved to tell her that he could teach her the same way Professor Summers had done, but he couldn't. She'd have to do all the work, though he would guide her through the process as best he could. If she still fancied training once they would undo the birdlike features, of course. ''What did you think would happen once we'd reverse what you did to yourself? While it may not have had the outcome you wished for, you still managed to transform part of your face. That alone should be seen as a small accomplishment, even with years of training. Some people can't even grow whiskers twelve years into their training to become an animagus.'' the Professor told the girl encouragingly. ''And of course you cannot stay like this, the nurses are already looking for a remedy and even I have been trying to come up with a solution or two.''

He let a moment of silence fall between the two of them, glancing around the Hospital Wing. The theory of repeating the process sounded better the longer he thought about it. Anyone studying the fine art of Transfiguration would know that Untransfiguration spells would not work in this instance, as a different kind of transfiguration magic was involved. Hence the reason why he thought that repeating and reversing it might do trick. ''Was it stupid and arrogant of you to assume that you'd be successful without proper guidance? Absolutely.'' Charlie said, turning to look back at Harper. ''Do I think I should give you at least a semester's worth of detention for doing it? Perhaps, but that's something we can discuss with Professor Kingsley once you're better.'' Professor Abberline reckoned that she wasn't going to attempt something like this anytime soon. Seeing the birdlike features on the left side of her face probably scared her enough to never want to try it without guidance again, or so he hoped. ''What matters now is undoing the birdlike features and I remain hopeful that we will succeed in undoing them.''

 

[Harper Alston]

Harper was silent as she tried to digest what Professor Abberline was saying. He really, genuinely, truly seemed to think there would be a future after this that did not involve life as a human-bird hybrid. Either that, or he was just trying to make her feel better. Harper didn't understand how he — someone who had only known her for a couple months — could have so much confidence in her when she barely had any confidence in herself.

It was the criticism that made Harper take him seriously. She winced a little, but she didn't look away, knowing he was right. She had been arrogant, and she had been stupid. And if Professor Abberline was right about this, then maybe he was also right when he said they could fix this mistake. He clearly wasn't just telling her what he thought she wanted to hear. Harper didn't even care about the threat of detentions. She'd gladly serve a hundred detentions if it meant getting to live a normal life without permanent feathers and a deformed bird eye.

Harper nodded slowly. "Okay." Part of her still struggled to believe Professor Abberline, but for once in her life, she was willing to ignore her intuition. "How do we undo it? Normally, when I'm untransfiguring my arms, I just kind of relax and think of, I don't know, settling into my normal self, if that makes any sense. And then the transformation just happens. It usually doesn't take much effort." Or at least, it hadn't taken much effort last year, when she'd trained with Professor Summers and still felt like her normal self. "I tried to do that with my face, but it's not working." Harper hesitated, not wanting to continue, but she knew she had to give Professor Abberline as much information as possible if he was going to help her. "I've actually had issues with untransfiguration all year. Since the winter break," she clarified. "I don't know why, but it doesn't come easily anymore. Sometimes it just won't work, and I have to pluck the feathers out." Just another reason why she shouldn't have attempted a complicated facial transfiguration. "I don't know if I'm going about it wrong or if I should be doing visualizations or if I'm just not concentrating hard enough or something..." she trailed off, hoping Professor Abberline might have a theory or solution for her.

 

[Charles Abberline]

Professor Abberline nodded along as she told him how she'd normally go about it. There was nothing wrong with the way she tried to transform, nothing at all, but then why was she suddenly having difficulties with it? That part made no sense to him, especially since she had told him earlier that she had been able to transform parts of herself before. He furrowed his brow when Harper told him that she had been having difficulties with untransfiguration ever since the winter break, and turned to look back at her once more. ''You do not have to answer this if you do not want to, but did something happen during the winter break that could have affected your emotional state?'' Professor Abberline asked carefully, slowly connecting the dots in his head with this new piece of information. It would make sense for Harper to have had issues with transfiguration and untransnfiguration if certain emotions were blocking parts of her magical abilities off. It definitely wasn't unheard of in the Wizarding World and countless articles had been written in scholarly journals such as Transfiguration Today about the different effects that emotions might have on the mind of someone with magical abilities. ''I'm asking this because it is not uncommon for certain emotions to have an influence on a witch or wizard's magical abilities. It might heighten them, for example, or do the exact opposite. It could therefore explain why you are experiencing difficulties at the moment and why things are not going as smoothly as they did before,'' Charlie said, hoping that it would make sense to the girl too.

 

[Harper Alston]

The effects of the potion were starting to kick in, and Harper sat up a little straighter, her mind starting to focus on finding a solution to this mess instead of just conjuring up doomsday scenarios. Still, she wasn't prepared for Professor Abberline's question. "No," Harper said immediately. "I mean, I... I'm not... it's not... it's not like I'm depressed or anything," she stammered. Sure, she'd heard that one's emotions could influence one's magic, but she assumed that applied to wizards who went through something really traumatic. Harper knew she led a charmed life, especially compared to some of her classmates. She had a wide circle of friends, parents who were alive and loved and supported her fully. That alone put her in, like, the top 1% in terms of happiness, judging by some of the muggleborn support group meetings she'd attended.

So what if she'd left the winter break feeling a little lost? That was normal when you quit a sport you'd devoted your entire life to. They even had hackneyed phrases to describe the phenomenon — "every athlete dies twice" and all that. So what if she'd felt a little lonely boarding the New Zealand Express, knowing that none of her siblings would ever join her? She wasn't dealing with anything that hadn't happened to the million other muggleborns who had come before her. No, she was fine. Harper was fine. "I haven't had any trouble doing other magic, like in classes and stuff," she said, though even she knew that wasn't the best defense. The magic involved with animagus transformations was much more complex than the spells taught in class.

Harper could tell she was coming off as defensive, so she hurried to change the subject. "So, what should I do now then? Is there, like, a visualization I should be doing?" If untransfiguration didn't come naturally anymore, then maybe she needed to be more deliberate about it. "What do you do when you're in armchair form and want to be human again?" She had no idea if that process was similar to animal-to-human transformations, but at this point, she was willing to try anything.

 

[Charles Abberline]

Professor Abberline was about to ask if Harper could describe what she was feeling when she decided to change the subject to untransfiguration. Knowing that he shouldn't push her out of her comfort zone at the moment by willing her to talk about something she clearly didn't really want to talk to him about, Charlie nodded and let it rest. She had already confirmed that this was a question of emotions anyway. ''I do not think that we can really compare these two branches of magic with each other, but the way I do it is not too different from what you do when you try to transform into your animagus form. The only real difference is that I need to use my wand, which makes it easier to transform into an armchair and then back to human again.'' Professor Abberline told her. ''Your magical ability to transform into an animal and back to human comes from within you, as you well know. So if you are not ready to do so mentally then nothing is likely to happen. Whatever blocks this particular magical ability of yours obviously needs to be vanquished if you want to continue your training. What could help is some form of meditation, which is what I want you to do right now.'' Charlie said, sitting down on the empty stool next to the bed Harper was sitting on. ''Close your eyes and take a couple of moments to come to rest and clear your mind. Once you feel like you've done that, take a deep breath and let that familiar feeling of weightlessness overtake you. Be patient and take... your... time, you do not need to rush anything. Now, normally, we'd ask you to start visualising the animal that you want to become, however, that is not what we want to do right now. In this case, rather than willing the bird to come closer, I want you to visualise your own appearance and will your own appearance to come closer. And this time, I want you to trust yourself. Do not push too hard and stop doing what you are doing when you know you need to stop, not when you feel that you need to stop.'' Guiding students through something so complex as this was obviously new for Charlie, so he could only hope that everything would go well.

 

[Harper Alston]

Harper had a feeling Professor Abberline didn't believe her, but she didn't know how else to convince him that she was fine. She was always fine. In the face of disaster, she was calm, cool, collected, the kind of girl who barely blinked at a broken arm and could calm down an agitated friend after a flying accident. She was supposed to be the person you wanted around in a crisis, the one who could compartmentalize her panic. That's who Harper Alston was.

Or at least that's who the old Harper Alston was. These days, her old self felt like a stranger. As Professor Abberline spoke, she realized with a sinking feeling that he might be right. She was having trouble turning back into herself because she no longer felt like herself.

Meditation was Harper's least favorite part of animagus training, but she nodded at Professor Abberline's instructions and closed her eyes. She took a deep breath and opened her mind. It didn't take long before she was sent soaring into the sky again. The bird appeared, and she felt a familiar prickling along her right cheek. Harper's eyes flew open, and she touched her cheek, cursing when she felt a few feathers. Her gaze flickered over to Professor Abberline, who was still sitting there. "Sorry... The bird just suddenly appeared. But it didn't hurt this time, at least. And I could stop it." Was that progress? She decided it was.

Harper took a deep breath, contemplating the vision itself. She'd never given it much thought before, instead focusing on the transformation, but she had to act deliberately now if she wanted to untransfigure herself. "The weightless feeling..." she said slowly. "Does that happen to every animagus?" It would have helped if Professor Abberline was an animagus himself, but hopefully he was at least familiar with the theory. "I've never read about it. I think... I think it's supposed to be the feeling I'd get in bird form, you know, while flying." Harper shook her head slightly, as if to clear her thoughts. "Sorry, just trying to think out loud. My visions always take place in the sky. Do you think it'd help if I tried to picture the ground or something?"

 

[Charles Abberline]

Professor Abberline smiled reassuringly when Harper apologised. ''There's no need to apologise. The fact that the bird appears so easily means that you're not entirely blocking the ability off, that's good.'' It could be that the Calming Draught was helping a bit, but this was progress, even if it might seem small to her. He nodded at the girl's words, thinking there might be some truth behind her own theory. She continued to impress him with her knowledge of Transfiguration, so much so that he thought that she could become a very noticeable practitioner of the arts if she continued to excel in class. Perhaps they should talk about that once this was all over with. ''I think that you might be right about that, actually. A bird can fly whenever it wishes to do so, right? And us wizardkind can only do so by magical means. That could very well explain why you are experiencing these spurts of weightlessness whenever you are focusing on transforming into the bird you see in your visions. The same could be said for someone who has taken to the form of an elephant, for example. Rather than a weightless feeling, they might experience the feeling of being rooted to the ground in their visions.'' he answered. She continued to apologise to him and he could only smile when she did so. ''You can certainly try,'' Charlie said with an encouraging nod. ''Okay, take a deep breath and try it again, try visualising yourself standing on the ground this time. And remember, don't try to force anything to happen, do what you know is right.''

 

[Harper Alston]

After spending so much time wallowing in negativity, Harper's mind relished the chance to think analytically about transfiguration. A lot of her training this year had been mired in a hazy tangle of instinct and emotion, and this felt like a step towards regaining control. After Professor Abberline confirmed her theory, Harper took a deep breath and prepared to try again. She needed to act before the lucidity from the potion wore off.

Almost immediately, Harper was overcome by the same soaring feeling, the same vision of the bird. She clenched her fists. Why couldn't she control this? The vision threatened to sweep her further into the sky, and she struggled to remember the strategy she and Professor Abberline had discussed. The ground. Where was the ground? For the first time, Harper looked down. There, stretched out below her was a vaguely familiar expanse of green, and she drifted closer. With a start, she realised she was looking at the park near her house. A girl appeared, blonde and sure-footed, and Harper didn't have to see her face to know who it was. She watched in awe as the girl ran. It was such a simple activity, one Harper had loved but given up after the break, along with everything else sports-related. She continued to follow the girl, tracing her path to —

Her family. Both of her parents and all four of her siblings were standing there, beckoning to the girl — and to her. A lump formed in Harper's throat, and she was pulled forward by an invisible tether anchoring her to the ground. Gone was the weightless feeling; she had never felt more steady. Harper spent a few moments studying this version of herself. She didn't know how to be that girl anymore, but she knew she wanted to be her. And if that was ever going to happen, she needed to be fully human again. A tingling sensation swept over Harper's face, and the first feathers began to recede.

***​

It took the better part of an hour and one more dose of Calming Draught for Harper to transform back. When she was finally done, she opened her eyes, her gaze latching onto the sight of Professor Abberline. "You're still here," she murmured, feeling a little guilty for taking up so much of his time. Harper pressed her hands to her face, feeling for leftover feathers. "Is it all gone? Did I get everything?" The magic had left her exhausted and disoriented, but she felt relatively normal. The vision in her left eye was no longer wonky, and her skin didn't itch with feathers.

 

[Charles Abberline]

Charlie watched in silence as the girl tried to untransfigure her face once more. They had discussed all the possibilities of how to do it, so the only thing left to do now was for the Gryffindor to try and fix the mistake she had made earlier that day. He believed in her ability to reverse it though and it seemed to him as if she was starting to believe it, too. All he could do is wait and hope for the best.

He could tell that she was successful in visualising the ground when feathers began to withdraw from the left side of her face. Smiling widely, he continued to watch as more and more of the birdlike features slowly receded. This was good, really good. A part of him wanted to cheer the girl on and encourage her to continue what she was doing but he knew that he couldn't in case it would break her concentration. Instead, the Professor conjured up a book to kill the time.

Time was passing by and very slowly Charlie watched as the left side of the girl's face turned human again. He could have sent for one of the nurses to check up on her once she would be done with untransfiguring the birdlike features on her face. He didn't though. Instead, he decided to stay and wait until she would open her eyes again. He couldn't just leave her here alone like that, that wouldn't feel right to him. They also had things they needed to talk about once it was over with, and not all were positive, unfortunately. Even though he reckoned that the thought of being stuck as a half-human, half-bird hybrid was enough for Harper to never want to try and practise by herself again, he knew that he couldn't leave what she had done unpunished. Another reason why he decided to stay was because he thought that this would be a good learning point for the other two students he was helping in becoming animagi - never attempt to transform or it might turn out bad.

***​

Charlie glanced up from his book when the girl began to move around a bit and smiled as she looked back at him. He closed the book and put it away. ''Everything except for this one,'' Professor Abberline replied, picking up a blue feather from the nightstand next to him. ''It fell off at some point so I picked it up for you. I figured that you might want to keep it as a warning to yourself.'' He handed her the feather with a smile. ''How are you feeling?'' he asked.

 

[Harper Alston]

Harper forced a smile as she accepted the feather from Professor Abberline. "Thanks." Truthfully, the sight of it made her a little sick. She'd collected way too many feathers over the course of her training, most of them from failed untransfiguration attempts. "I don't think I'll be forgetting about this anytime soon." That was an understatement. Even though her emotions had been dulled by the potion, Harper could remember with razor-sharp clarity the sheer terror she'd just experienced. "I'm okay. Just tired. I think that's the longest I've ever continuously used magic." She was also a little dizzy, but she was pretty sure that was just a side-effect of coming out of a nearly hour-long vision.

Even though Professor Abberline had confirmed that all the feathers were gone, Harper couldn't help running her fingers across her brow ridge and down her cheek, as if verifying that she really did have her body back and that the nightmare was truly over. She'd come so close to permanent damage — a thought that sent an inexplicable wave of emotion through her. Mercifully, much of it was held back by the Calming Draught, but Harper still had to turn away to wipe at her eyes. She felt ridiculous. After all, she was okay now. All the birdlike features were gone. She was safe.

Once she'd composed herself, Harper turned back to Professor Abberline. She knew he likely hadn't stuck around just to make sure she was okay. "So I guess this is the part where I get detention for the rest of the semester." She'd been aiming for a touch of levity — her go-to defense mechanism — but her voice came out quiet. Resigned. Harper actually didn't think she'd mind detention too much. She'd served a fair number of them in the past. Plus, detention would give her time to think, and after seeing her former self in that vision, Harper thought some time to think would probably be good for her.

 

[Charles Abberline]

Glad that the Gryffindor girl was okay again after such a horrifying experience, Charlie let out a sigh of relief and smiled at her. It could have gone horrifyingly bad if she hadn't gone to the Hospital Wing immediately, so a part of him admired her level-headed thinking. She didn't have much of a choice anyway, but still, she could have chosen to try and fix it herself, which could have had even worse results - she could have ended up stuck like a half-human, half-bird hybrid forever. ''I have had plenty of time to think of a suitable punishment while you were busy and think that I've come up with something that might even be beneficial for you. Rather than cleaning the grounds along with the groundskeepers or dusting dust off of a bunch of old books in the library, I have decided that you will sit out your punishment with me. You'll help me in grading work, help to return the classroom back to normal whenever it needs to be returned back to normal and help prepare classes before they begin. On top of that, you'll come to my office after every Transfiguration class to continue your training under my supervision until my time as a substitute is over,'' Professor Abberline said, sounding a lot stricter than expected. He knew that Harper regretted transforming on her own but simply couldn't let it go unpunished. He'd be a bad professor if he let it be unpunished simply because she regretted it. With a flick of his wand, a blank parchment appeared out of thin air, with another a ballpoint pen. He wrote something down, folded the piece of parchment together and addressed it to Professor Kingsley, the Gryffindor Head of House. ''I also want you to give this to Professor Kingsley. It'll inform her what has happened today as well as the punishment you will be receiving because of it. In addition, I will be deducing fifteen house points from Gryffindor, which I have also written down on this.'' Charlie handed the piece of parchment to the girl. ''I will know whether you have delivered it or not, so don't throw it away, please.'' In the end, he thought that the punishment was rather mild for the thing she'd done, which was why he also decided to inform her Head of House of what had happened. He didn't like to act so sternly but thought that it was only appropriate.

 

[Harper Alston]

Thankfully, if Professor Abberline had noticed her mini-breakdown, he didn't say anything. Then again, he'd already witnessed her botched transfiguration, which she supposed was infinitely more embarrassing. Harper was silent as he described her punishment, a little taken aback by how stern he sounded. But she was also grateful that he wasn't trying to mince words and treat her like she was fragile. The punishment itself didn't sound half-bad. If she were in a better mood, she might have noted the irony of punishing transfiguration with more transfiguration. While helping Professor Abberline with his classes would be time-consuming, it certainly beat manual labor. Besides, it wasn't like she had much going on in her life aside from classes and prefect duties.

Harper took the piece of parchment and nodded. "I'll give it to her," she promised. Part of her felt a little bad for losing Gryffindor points, but at the same time, she couldn't really bring herself to care. After spending the past few hours thinking she'd ruined her life, the house points competition seemed so utterly unimportant. The whole incident had put a lot of things into perspective. Harper was quiet for a few moments, her fingers nervously playing with the edge of the parchment. "About the training," she said slowly, "can I have a few days to think about it?" She hoped Professor Abberline understood what she meant because she didn't think she could bring herself to say out loud that she was seriously considering quitting. "I just... It feels like a decision I should make when—" I'm less of a mess "—I don't have a ton of Calming Draught in my system," she finished lamely.

 

[Charles Abberline]

Professor Abberline vanished the book he was reading and then stowed away his wand. She successfully reversed the botched transformation, so there wasn't much he could do other than to give the girl some time to recover from the exhausting bit of magic she just performed. She would need to recover if she wanted to continue her schoolwork anyway, though something told him that most of the Professors wouldn't mind going at least a bit easy on her once they would hear what she did. They weren't all unsympathetic even if it was largely her own fault. He stood up to straighten his robes when Harper spoke up. It did not surprise him that she asked if she could think about continuing her training for a couple of days, not after what she had just been through. ''I don't see why not,'' Charlie replied with a friendly smile. ''Why don't you come back to me with your answer before your next Transfiguration class starts? That should give you more than enough time to think about what you want to do. You'll need to come early anyway to help with preparations.'' While he could understand that she may not want to continue her animagus training anymore after experiencing something so grotesque, he sincerely hoped that she would not back out of her training. It would be a shame to stop after having made so much progress already with Professor Summers. She could also count transforming the left side of her face as a small success, even if it wasn't exactly what she was going for. Alas, he did not want to push her into doing something she might not want to do anymore. ''I think I'll be off now, leave you alone to rest up a bit. If you still feel tired and dizzy later, you may want to ask the nurses for some chocolate. It helps.'' With a nod and a smile, Professor Abberline turned around and made his way over to the nurse standing by the doors. Once he finished informing them about how the girl was feeling and that she was in need of some rest, he headed out into the corridor to walk back to his office.

 

[Harper Alston]

Harper mentally counted the days until her next Transfiguration class. It was simultaneously too much and not enough time. She knew what she would have said if Professor Abberline had asked her to make a decision right now. Despite everything, some crazy, irresponsibly hopeful part of her still wanted to be an animagus. But Harper was done with making impulsive, emotion-driven decisions. That's what had gotten her into this mess in the first place. She needed to be rational. She needed to think about the facts. And the facts were that she had almost permanently disfigured herself and that she was currently incapable of safely transfiguring herself without the help of potions. Was it really worth risking her entire future just to pursue something she might not even be capable of doing?

"Thanks. For, um, helping me transform back." That felt woefully inadequate, but Harper didn't know how else to express her gratitude. Just thinking about what had happened felt overwhelming. She nodded at Professor Abberline's tip about the chocolate. It sounded strange, but she was willing to give it a try. As tempting as it was to ask the nurses for more Calming Draught or a Sleeping Potion, Harper wanted to be sober. She had a lot to think about before the next Transfiguration lesson.