Closed The Song of December

Zennon Baros

healer; dad to Finley
Messages
2,485
OOC First Name
Zazz
Blood Status
Pure Blood
Relationship Status
It's Complicated
Sexual Orientation
asexual
Wand
Straight 14 1/2 Inch Sturdy Cypress Wand with Erumpent Hide Core
Age
May 3rd, 2034
Three months had gone by both incredibly slowly and incredibly fast since Finley was born and though Zennon wrote his mother a letter practically every day, he didn't get them in return nearly as often as he liked. At this point honestly he regretted the lack of technology available in the wizarding world because it would make all of this so much easier if he could just webcam his baby. He knew Sam felt the same as they'd spent hours comforting each other about it. Still, he knew it was the best to have Finley with his mother as he and Sam went about keeping themselves in school so they could give him the best in his life. He kicked his feet up on the table in the library he was occupying and tore open the latest letter his mother had written. Once a week he supposed was better than nothing, but still, he missed Finley way more than he would have ever thought possible and he really just couldn't imagine how Sam was doing with all of this either. He looked up when he thought he heard Sapphire, and quickly finished reading over the letter. Hearing the little things he was missing made him sad, but he knew this was for the best.​
 
Sapphire was stressed, depressed, and just over everything in general. She stormed up to the library, hiding how vulnerable she felt with irritability and anger. Finding Zennon wasn't hard. She swept into the library and right past him, swinging her bag into an empty chair with a bit more force than necessary. She pulled out another chair, falling into it. She propped her combat boots onto the table, leaning the chair back on two legs and tossing a single arm over the back of the chair. She didn't look at Zennon, her dark hair falling like a curtain to hide her face while she blew a bubble in her gum moodily.
 
Seeing Sapphire was almost always a pleasure, sour mood or not, and so it took him a moment to even register that his best friend wasn't talking to him, mostly since he had his face stuck in the letter his mother had written him. "You're cheery," he said finally, looking over the letter at her, opposite him. They were seated the same way in the chairs, which wasn't that surprising, though her lack of a greeting for him was something of a concern for the seventeen year old. "I'm not sure it's a good look for one of my Prefect's to be rained on, what's up?" He asked, folding the letter very carefully and dropping it on the table to look over at her. He hadn't moved his feet from up on the table of course, because why would he, but he was making sure she knew she had his attention if she wanted it.​
 
Sapphire popped her gum again, debating not talking to him at all. But that would defeat the purpose of pouting near him. "I'm aggravated." She settled on, not looking up. She kicked around talking- really talking- but it was Zennon. He knew her. "I don't want to care. But I can't help it. I like people that will never want me. I'm not a choice for anyone. Ever. I act like I want it that way but really- just once- would it really be too much to ask that someone wants me back?" She groused, popping her gum.
 
Zennon almost rolled his eyes when Sapphire told him she was aggravated. He could clearly see that, but she soon moved on and continued talking and as she did so, Zennon frowned and finally dropped his legs off of the table so that he could actually give her his full attention. It was pretty clear that he hadn't been a great friend to her the last couple of months, especially last semester with his mind on Sam constantly and what he was going to do, but having moved past that, he realised they were now in March and he'd almost barely spoken to her. It served to reason that there were things going on that he didn't understand. Standing up, Zennon moved around to sit on the table beside her legs and looked at her. Really looked. There was something different about her beyond the usual air of not caring that she normally maintained. He'd always known that was mostly for show. Sapphire was one of the most caring people he knew and she hated to fight with people, though he knew she'd had to do so frequently in her life. It wasn't the physical way she appeared, but more something that didn't seem to be working anymore with the way she held herself normally. Something was wrong and if he could, he wanted to try and fix it. "I'm sorry. I haven't been around much. You're going to have to start from the beginning because I don't know what you're talking about." The last he'd really spoken to Sapphire, she'd been about to head out on a date with that Hufflepuff guy. Thinking about it, he didn't think he'd ever actually asked her how that had gone.​
 
Sapphire looked up through her hair as Zennon sat on the table by her feet. "You've been busy, Zennyboo." she spoke softly, hardly noticing as her guard dropped completely. "I..." She sighed. "I'm not delusional, alright? I don't believe in love. Or at least, in anyone loving me." She shook her head, looking away again. "There's a boy. He's older, homeschooled. I... I'm drawn to him. In a way I don't understand. Our relationship... We don't define it. I have no expectations and I don't really know what he thinks. Sometimes we snog, sometimes we just talk. There's nothing more to it."

Sapphire ran a hand through her hair. "I... Care about him, but I try to ignore it. And you remember that Hufflepuff?" She hesitated. "We aren't... A thing. We never were. From the beginning he's never bothered to hide that I was just a distraction from his breakup with the Gryffindor Seeker. I didn't mind, I was bored and he was paying attention to me." She didn't bother sugar coating things. "We clicked, though, Zen. Like... We were good for each other. I started caring. But I know he just wants her. I asked, and he still loves her. So I shut him off. It was different, at first, but I won't play those games." She leaned her head back, shutting her eyes.

"I know I'm stupid, Zen. I don't understand social norms and I've spent my life just winging things. But every time I really care- For anyone, something bad happens. Whither its just them leaving me, like Mervyn or Oliver, or its... Like Onyx, where I almost got him killed..." She ran a hand over her face. "I'm bad luck, Zen." She murmured.
 
Zennon wasn’t sure what he was asking Sapphire to open up about when he’d asked her initially and so he hadn’t at all been prepared for the onslaught of words he received the moment she dropped her guard. This was a side of Sapphire that he didn’t see often, she was usually the good time friend, the one he turned to when he needed to distract himself from something because she was always able to get his mind off his sh*tty circumstances. That was how they’d met after all. He’d been trying to keep his mind off of the cr*p going on with his abilities. He hadn’t really thought much about how she felt, or whether she even wanted that to be her role in his life. All of his friends played roles in his life for what he needed. Analei was his basic support system, Jake was a flight of fancy, Leda was his mentor and Sapphire, she was the dash of fun and optimism, though she certainly didn’t seem like she’d be the optimistic one out of all of them. That wasn’t to say that he valued his relationships with any of them any less than others, but he’d always compartmentalised his life and this had been no different. He talked to Sapphire and they discussed things, but it had usually always been after he’d talked about them with Analei or Leda first. A second opinion friend, in a way. Highly valued for him, but he wondered if maybe he hadn’t shown her that. “Hey, wait a second. Hold on.” He said, shaking his head with a frown. “You’re not bad luck, it’s hardly your fault those things have happened and Onyx is definitely not on you. Okay, you blame yourself because of the fact she was after you, but Sapph, if he’d not pushed you out of the way, you’d be dead. Onyx is lucky he just lost his memory because of the way he got hit, you’d have had the full brunt of it. He’s your brother and you love him, and I like him well enough, but please, you can’t expect people to believe you’re really at fault for that.” What happened to her brother had been terrible, but hardly her fault. “He’ll recover. it’ll take time of course, but it will happen. trust me.” He’d asked Lucian a little about memory loss a while back, without giving too many details of course because he’d wanted to reassure Sapphire, though he knew there wasn’t much he could say. “I’m sorry i haven’t been around for you. I know things have been hard but, come on, you don’t really think you’re unlovable, do you?” What were they supposed to know at seventeen anyway. “and look, i know it’s not the same thing, but i love you and you know that. i haven’t always appreciated you in the way i probably should’ve in the past, but, it’s the truth.”
 
Sapphire didn't protest as he spoke about Onyx. She knew he was right, somewhere, and she supposed it had just taken hearing him tell her for her to really get it in her head. She shrugged, though, when he asked if she thought she was unlovable. That went without saying. Of course she did. She had no proof otherwise, everything in her life seemed to contradict that.

She sighed as he said he loved her. What good had that done him? "I'm sorry," she spoke softly. "I've never known how to be there for you. Not when you had your issues back in the day being snake boy, or over your badges, or her, or the kid. I'm useless. I..." She had never been one to bite her tongue, and she didn't see that changing now. "I wasn't sure you were going to come back, Zen." She admitted softly, not looking at him. "Onyx is gone. I broke Chrysander's nose." She ran a hand over her face, covering her eyes and trying to hold back the tears as she drew in a shaky breath. "For a while there I was sure I'd lost all three of my brothers." She spoke gently, not sure how he'd take that.
 

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