Scherzo Di Notte

[Samuel Phillips]

Samuel had never been apt at confessions. Opening up to another person and sharing feelings he would rather internalize and forget about terrified him, froze him on the spot and caused him to shut his loved ones out more than he would ever want to. It was one of the few reasons the number of people in his inner circle could be counted on one hand and one of the few reasons he had no intention to change that. But if it wasn't the theory of confessing that hindered him, it was spurting out the words. Usually choppy, stuttered, infrequent and if strung into a sentence, a barely coherent one. Confessing anything transformed a seemingly confident Samuel into a mess of anxiety fueled by a fear of rejection that he swore never to turn into again however as he stepped on to Charlotte's familiar doorstep, their plans for lunch a week old and his mind racing, he realized confessing was the only thing he could do. Their friendship was both an asset and a connection Sam forever wanted to keep and while he could not deny Milan had changed everything he could also not deny that internalizing his new found feelings for his friend would ruin the memories past, the present and the memories they would make in the future beyond repair. He knew he needed to be mature about this despite his better judgement to move back to New York, or worse, Paris, on a whim so he could avoid confessing but he swallowed the lump in his throat anyway, and held one hand over his stomach as it flipped over in an effort to seem partially normal before knocking on his friend's door.

Milan was to blame. The trip had changed him, arguably for the better and arguably for the worse. It took withdrawing from his life for a while for him to be able to see the bigger picture, to know what had been draining his creative energy and what had caused the stress he was sure had shortened his life. Just as it took a fun trip to a foreign country with his closest friend to notice every little thing he admired about her. Gosh, this was all so confusing, and irritating. Samuel wanted to rip his brain from his skull and throw it against the wall to punish himself for feeling anything more than platonic for his friend. But he knew that telling Charlotte was important and keeping his composure was just as important. Showing how much his change in feelings had stressed him out would only lead his friend to believe said feelings were not fleeting or temporary. He was sure his feelings were a road bump, a small hurdle he would need to overcome and nothing more. His plan was to confess everything he had been thinking since leaving Milan and moving to New Zealand so both he and Charlotte could laugh it off and pretend like it never happened. Letting go of the burden on his chest would be the only way to forget about it. He frowned, realizing that while caught in the midst of his internal struggle his friend had yet to answer the door. He knocked a second time, hand still held over his stomach that continually turned with anxiety.

And still, no answer. His frown deepened with worry and he only felt more confused because Charlotte had never once forgotten to answer the door to her house. Even when Sam's knocking had roused her from her sleep at three in the morning she answered the door in a prompt manner despite being half asleep. It was all very odd and a little frightening, but Sam tried not to jump to conclusions. Knowing that if something was wrong he would surely know by now. Though that didn't stop him from turning the doorknob and opening the door he now realized was unlocked, poking his head through and glancing around the house. "Char?" He said, half calling and half questioning the empty space his eyes were scanning. The frown on his features deepened a second time as he stepped inside the familiar home, continuing to glance around before beginning to walk to the back of the house where his eyes were finally graced with the sight of his friend. His shoulders immediately relaxed and he released a breath he did not know he had been holding. Relieved to know that nothing was wrong however the fact she did not answer the door at all lingered in his mind. It was very out of character for her, but he didn't bother to question it and instead began to explain walking in the house uninvited from fear of seeming rude, having conveniently forgotten their friendship had surpassed formalities a long time ago in his attempt to keep composure and hide how much his feelings for her affected him. "I was knocking, and, uh, you didn't answer. Just wanted to make sure nothing was wrong." He ran his hand through his hair. Could he be more nervous? "Is everything alright?" He asked, wanting to confirm everything was actually okay and Char may have just not heard his knocking, calling her name, and walking through the house to find her.​

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[Charlotte Williams]

The days had for Charlotte been shaping up well since she'd left Milan, it had been a good holiday but her life was on the sort of track that she'd wanted it to be on, and she'd run into a man just before she'd left Milan at an early opening of one of the local museums and this had been quite the surprise for her, especially when they'd hit it off as well as they'd had, and she had been seeing him for a little while, they'd even just recently made it official, however Charlotte had yet to tell Sam, which she was planning on doing when he came to her house as he was that day. Things with her new boyfriend were good, she valued his company and he gave her the space, he was respectable, from money like she was, her parents whom had insisted on meeting him before they could become anything close to official had definitely approved of their dating, and from the glares her mother had been giving her on the matter she could see the woman pushing for them to be married already, but Char wasn't there yet. She liked him a lot, but there was something in her mind stopping her from diving start in with him, from feeling the entirely same way about him as her family did. He was everything she could hope for and yet, he wasn't what she wanted, and she didn't know why that was. She couldn't pinpoint what had her feeling like this, but she felt it and so far it wasn't affecting the relationship but she feared that it would only be a matter of time before it did. Before it just became too much for her to handle, and she ended up ruining the relationship with her concerns. However, with Sam visiting on this day, and her intentions to tell him hoping to get his opinion on the matter if she could the woman was looking forward to it.

There was just one little problem because she had been given her brother's newborn to take care of for the next few days. She hadn't expected it, but he'd turned up on her doorstep with the baby in his arms and handed it to Charlotte before giving his thanks and leaving, usually Charlotte would've been annoyed at the rudeness but it was her brother and she owed him so much. Charlotte didn't mind kids at all, she loved them but she didn't know how Sam really felt about it, and she didn't know how much she would be able to talk to him when she had to be thinking about the baby, but it was too late to cancel the plans that she had, it was impolite for her to do that, she was looking forward to see him a lot, she hadn't really seen him since their trip, since he lived in New York and her here in New Zealand, with her new boyfriend and work duties, there had just been no occasion for it. However as the time approached for Sam to arrive Char had caught herself with the baby in the living room, trying to get it to stop crying. Her usually perfectly organised house was a little less than perfect as she tried desperately to get the baby to stop crying, she'd tried all the things that she could, she'd tried feeding the kid, she'd tried changing it, and putting it to sleep but nothing seemed to work, and Char was at a loss with it. She wasn't sure what else she could try with it to make it stop. In the end Charlotte had open the doors to the garden and stood on the decking area, bouncing the baby in her arms lightly before holding it as it finally seemed to settle and she for that reason didn't hear any knocking on the door, or even know there was someone in the house until the person spoke. She jumped a little, startled by it, before laughing lightly at her own reaction to his voice, the woman turned around just as he asked if everything was alright.

"Sam, I'm sorry," she said to him, as she adjusted her hold on the sleeping baby to go greet him properly, "This little guy was crying his lungs out, and the outdoors just made it better, settled him down, didn't hear you knocking," she explained to her friend with a small smile, "Sorry about this, I tried to tell my brother, but he was in a rush, I didn't want to be rude and cancel this, I've barely had time to see you," Charlotte wandered away from her friend as she went to place the baby in the make shift crib she'd placed in her living room, which seemed to stand out against the decor of her house, she glanced back at Sam when the baby was down and smiled at him, ready to begin spending time with him, hoping that the baby wouldn't wake up or that Sam would actually mind.
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[Samuel Phillips]

The sight of Charlotte holding a sleeping baby was one that Samuel never thought he would see. It was surreal, almost dream-like in a sense yet it only added to the level of anxiety and amount of pure fear brought on by his decision to confess his newly realized attraction to her. He felt like fate was playing some cruel joke on his emotions and body, as if the feelings alone weren't torture enough already. He had no idea how to react to the wild card that was the baby's presence, if he should take a step back in case it smelled his fear and woke up or if he should take a step closer and pretend like he was a rational person through all the added fear, acting like he was not terrified of what the baby was capable of. Babies were always alien-like to Sam. Alien-like to the point where the first time he had touched a pregnant woman's stomach he jumped out of his chair and nearly fainted because he thought they had eaten an animal alive. It showed that despite spending so much time around Cess, the ultimate expert in raising children, he was entirely clueless and none of her motherly ways had rubbed off on him. He swallowed the ever present lump in his throat as Charlotte put the baby in its crib and finally opened his mouth to respond to her, surprised he still possessed the ability to speak somewhat normally in his state of internal panic. "poop happens. It's not a problem. But, uh. Will it start crying again?" He glanced nervously at the crib, forgetting that the baby was still sound asleep and focusing more on the list of 'what if' scenarios forming in his head than the present. He at least took reverie knowing immediately that this baby belonged to Charlotte's brother, she had mentioned getting her brother's newborn (the word newborn even made him cringe) a gift in Milan too many times for the baby to be anyone else's. "What do we do if it cries again?" The answer to his question was most likely very simple but his mind was still clouded with anxiety and with the addition of a baby into the mix all he wanted to do was get the heck away from the room. Which he promptly did with a change of subject in the form of a promise of his favorite drink.

"Should we have coffee, then?" He said as he turned on his feet and walked towards the kitchen, remembering that caffeine would do absolutely nothing to help his internal situation. He shook his head after a moment before changing his mind and deciding to choose a more sensible drink that would calm his nerves instead of making him want to vomit more than he already did. "Actually, do you have herbal tea? I'd prefer some of that instead of coffee today." When he reached the kitchen he began searching through the cupboards in the hope of finding tea but he was really using it as an excuse to procrastinate his confession and avoid looking at his friend until the added anxiety of being in the presence of a baby eventually wore off. Then, and only then he would confess his feelings, he had decided. Not a moment before. He was even further out of his limit knowing he needed to open up properly to Charlotte and show her any emotions that ran deep underneath his skin. That thought along with every other thought in his mind would have caused him to shudder in the state he was in but he had enough luck to find a tin of tea leaves in the nick of time. "Yay. Found some tea. Now, how do we make tea? I've never made real tea before." He moved the tin from the cupboard to the bench and began searching a different set of cupboards for a tea pot. "Can you show me how to make tea?" The eager, up-beat tone to his voice even surprised Samuel, but he had no time to think about it because he had already retrieved a tea pot. He turned towards Charlotte with the tea pot in his hands. "Please show me. I have something to tell you that I only want to tell you when we're drinking tea. We have a lot to catch up on." The words left his mouth before he had the chance to bury them. He was suddenly in too deep to back out now that he had announced there was something to tell. In that moment his anxiety did not get worse but it definitely was not going to get any better in the next few minutes.

this is super late and a mess of crap. what else is there to say?​

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[Charlotte Williams]

Being the one to take of the baby had never been part of this days plan and she was suddenly worried, now face with Sam that he would be scared off by the child in her arms, which was why after greeting him, she had placed the baby in the crib she made up for it in the living room, where she could keep an eye on it and also be able to just work, and in this case be with her friend, glancing at Sam Charlotte couldn't help but smile at his words, "He won't, don't worry," she assured him, although she had no way of really knowing that, but the baby slept pretty soundly once he was asleep, or that's what her brother had told her about him, and she felt pretty certain that her brother knew the baby pretty well. She just smiled at him, "We comfort it, or check to see if he's hungry or needs to be changed," she told him in the most reassuring tone that she could, implying that she didn't expect Sam to do anything regarding the baby, that just because she had a child in her house didn't mean that she expected him to help her with it. Charlotte then just smiled at him and nodded, watching the baby a little longer before following Sam into the kitchen area and just watching as he began looking around for tea instead of coffee, which she had to admit was a little strange, in all the time she'd known Sam, this had been the first time he'd been actively seeking something other than coffee, which was strange to say the least, "No coffee, Sam?" she asked with a slightly surprised tone and then just nodded, of course she had herbal tea, but rather than helping him, she stood just watching until he found what he wanted. Charlotte ran a hand through her hair and straightened out the several strands of blonde hair which had come loose and fallen out of place, she used her reflection in one of the surfaces of the kitchen to fix her hair to sit a little better, so that it sat a little bit more perfect than it, the baby had really thrown her a little, it was difficult to keep everything perfectly aligned when the baby was always messing things up.

Charlotte looked back at Sam when he seemed to find what he needed and she just smiled at him, of course she could show him, "Tea is easy," she told him with a small smile, before bringing out a fine china teapot and a tea strain, putting in five teaspoons of the tea leaves into the strainer before filling the kettle and then putting the kettle on for the water to boil, "I have news for you too!" she told him happily, Charlotte couldn't wait to tell him her news, she couldn't wait to tell Sam about the man she'd met, the man who was now her boyfriend, and she wanted him to be happy for her, as much as her family, or parents were for her respectable choice of man, Charlotte took the kettle off the moment it was boiled and poured the hot water into the tea pot and smiled slightly, "See, simple, we let that do it's magic for a couple of minutes and in the mean time," Charlotte smiled at him, she got out two cups and then looked back at him, with a smile that definitely expressed that she had news for him, but she seemed unable to really say it, "You remember that morning in Milan when I went to early morning gallery?" she started with a small smile, waiting for a small nod before moving on, "Well, I met this guy, during it, and long story short, we're now together," she told him and then immediately set to pouring the tea into two cups, handing one to him, "The best thing is that my mother likes him, he's from a really respectable family, he's great and sweet and great," she finished with a small sigh before taking a small sip of her tea, she didn't know how he would react to this news but she hoped he would be happy for her, and for them, she wanted them to get along, since Sam really was one of her closest friends, she really wanted them to get along, "But enough about me, what's your news?" she asked him happily, taking a sip of her tea as she did so.
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[Samuel Phillips]

Samuel's mind was still a mess in every sense of the word, controlled by worry of his confession and worry of the many outcomes playing in his mind. He was too focused on the mess in his head that was rapidly jumping from one anxious thought and one what if scenario to another to realize that he didn't need a cup of tea to calm down. That focusing on making tea was a distraction he had thought of to procrastinate what he was worrying over and it would achieve nothing more than that. Tea aside, all he really needed was to take a step back from the moment and breathe, to clear his head and focus on saying what he intended to say from the moment he stepped foot on Charlotte's doorstep that day instead of focusing on how anxious he was to form the words and worry at how the words themselves would change the dynamic of his friendship with her. There was no way it couldn't change the dynamic, it was a question how much it would change and that worried him most. He was relieved, in some respect, to have announced that he did have something to say to his blonde friend, though it had been more of a slip of his tongue in a momentary lapse of his composure than anything. Because he knew that admitting he did have something to tell her meant he couldn't back out without leaving her hanging. Making sure he didn't disappoint her was all the incentive he needed to ensure he confessed the feelings that had not failed to quit bugging him since they returned from Milan, eventually, and after his nerves calmed down enough for him to trust his ability to speak with confidence and conviction.

He stepped back from the counter, allowing Charlotte to demonstrate the tea making process for him. He immediately felt comforted that he could pay attention to what she was doing, that he could focus on something separated from the mess that was unfolding in his head. He hoped it would give him more time to compose himself. A repeat of the unusual decision on his part to have tea over coffee or another slip of his tongue would definitely not help his intentions to seem cool and collected, like his feelings for her were skin off his teeth and nothing either of them should worry about in the grand scheme of things so they could continue their friendship like nothing had changed. He was so determined to focus his attention on the way she made the tea, how she added five teaspoons of tea leaves into a strainer and how she filled the china teapot with water before she left it on the stove to boil. The tea making process was much more simple than Sam thought it would be and he was so surprised in that moment that there wasn't more to making tea than a few quick actions that he almost forgot that Charlotte announced she also had news for him. He raised an eyebrow and moved his attention from the newly made tea and towards his friend, nodding to acknowledge her words and urging her to continue speaking.

He feigned interest as she spoke, nodding along with every sentence that escaped her mouth and feeling the determination and incentive he once had to confess his feelings for her began to dwindle and fade away only to be replaced by a growing heaviness in his chest. It was just his luck that the first time he had developed feelings for someone that ran deeper than physical attraction for the first time in years had to be with one of his closest friends, and it was just his luck that when he finally decided to confess the feelings he was met by a cruel twist of fate and couldn't do anything but force himself to bite it all back. He almost laughed at himself for procrastinating his confession which had led to the sick, unbelievable irony of that moment. His gaze moved to the cup of now unappealing tea between his palms. The expression of disdain and bitterness that crossed his features was replaced with one of sincerity when Charlotte brought the subject back to his own news. He knew better than to continue with his plan for this meeting and taint something that made Charlotte happy. She was his friend first, she deserved better than to have a happy moment ruined by the one-sided feelings that plagued his mind. He kept his eyes glued to the cup tea in his hands and said the first thought in his head that he could pass off as news. "I've moved back to New Zealand." His voice cracked slightly which he attempted to mask by clearing his throat. The move itself wasn't surprising, it had only been a matter of time before Sam chose to move away from New York to be closer to his friends and family, but he hoped desperately that it seemed important enough to warrant his unusual actions. "Now we can spend more time together. It's going to be so much fun." He added as an afterthought, wishing that the prospect of the new found time they would have now that they lived in the same country would be enough to change the subject because he didn't know if he could keep the composure he tried with all his might to uphold if Charlotte chose to question him now.

terrible as always~​

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[Charlotte Williams]

Charlotte in her happiness with her own news and mind cast to the sleeping child in the other room was very distracted from the expressions on Sam's face as she told him, she didn't notice anything out of the ordinary, the tea in her hands was a little different from the coffee that they usually shared, but given that she did have a child in the next room perhaps it had been a good suggestion, and Char was definitely happy to be drinking the tea. She placed the cup down on the counter as she told her news of the man from Milan who was just about everything that she could need in a man, from a good family, respectable, kind and generous, a gentleman and with her parents happy she too was feeling happy, the bliss of a new relationship masking all the problems that would arise in the future. She was so blissfully happy in this new found relationship she'd found herself just oh so thankful for the trip to Milan with Sam, she knew had she gone without Sam, the trip would've been work filled and boring, but with Sam, and the fact it was more a holiday than anything, it had been perfect and the exact thing necessary to allow the fates for her to meet him. She had Sam to thank for that, to thank for what she currently felt, but Charlotte knew she couldn't, knew that she couldn't say anything like that because not only was it silly, but thanking him like that also felt a little impolite, especially given that they'd gone because he had been feeling low, and more than little stressed. The echoes of that drunken night in Milan rattled around her head, most of it a foggy memory but it was the only part of the trip which made her feel like this relationship she'd just entered wasn't right, but it was so small and so distant she barely thought of it, those were silly thoughts, Sam after all was just a friend.

At the prompting of him to tell her his news she smiled encouragingly at him, as Charlotte slowly sipped on the now colder drinkable tea, she felt warmed by it, like she would've if this was any occasion with a hot beverage, her eyes looked down at the cup in her hands, and she careful swirled the liquid around in the cup and gave a warm smile at it, before her gaze shifted back up at Sam as he spoke, her mind on her new interest and therefore missing on Sam's voice cracking, but she was very happy that he was now living in New Zealand, "That's amazing!" she told him brightly, clearly pleased at the news, and she couldn't help but nod happily as he continued to say that they'd be able to spend more time together, though she could admit that she might miss being woken up at the odd hours of the morning by Sam arriving to discuss furniture arrangement, that would be lost at the very least perhaps for a little bit or just be due to the fact he forgot about how timezones work. Charlotte smiled happily at him, "This will be amazing! What are you going to be doing here?" if he needed it, Charlotte would find him a job with her, she practically ran the company she worked for, or at least their New Zealand offices so she knew she could help him out, but of course that was really only if he wanted it, "Who are you living with currently?" she added as an after thought, she was sure it would be his brother, but she wasn't certain, perhaps he had his own place, that's what Charlotte would do, and occasionally she forgot that unlike Sam Char had this abundance of wealth which would allow her to do so. She could however agree that it was going to be great, that no matter what having one of her only friends living nearby that it wasn't necessary for her to come up with an excuse to visit or carve a whole amount of time out her day, even if she didn't mind doing it.

All in all really, Charlotte was feeling like pieces of her life were falling easily into place, that with her new boyfriend and Sam's new home in the same country, those were two of the most important people in Charlotte's life and she was so pleased they'd all be within arms reach. She couldn't help but agree that it would be amazing, "It'll be great!" she agreed, "Sam, this is great news, I'm so happy for you," she added with a sip of her tea, the joy of this on her face and easily reaching her eyes, oh it was a good day. She might've had her plans interrupted slightly by the arrival of her brother's baby but things had definitely worked out for the better in the end.
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