Closed Revelations

Flavio Morales-Tipene

Newlywed | Father
 
Messages
1,363
OOC First Name
Anna
Blood Status
Mixed Blood
Relationship Status
Married
Sexual Orientation
Pansexual
Wand
Straight 16 1/2 Inch Rigid Blackthorn Wand with Fwooper Feather Core
Age
31
Plot ID#87702
Trigger warning for the mention of anxiety and panic attacks
The knowledge that Flavio's NEWT exams were closer than ever were stressing him out more than he imagined, and he couldn't keep track of all the emotions he was feeling at once, only able to gather that everything happening to him, inside and outside of classes was terrible and out of his control. He had tried relentlessly to plan and prepare for his final semester, optimistic that this would be enough for him to succeed and meet everyone else's expectations of him, but with every passing day Flavio was realizing this optimism was unrealistic. As much as he wanted to do well and make his friends and family proud, and to show they could rely on him as he worked towards the perfect grades he needed for his future career, he felt that couldn't achieve anything he wanted, and what was left of his responsibilities were crumbling underneath his feet as he grasped at straws to get himself and his life back together.
Flavio felt suffocated as one of his classes was dismissed, and he rushed out of the room and outside wanting some space to breathe. If it was only a pause that lasted for a few minutes until he returned to the castle and continued with his schedule, he convinced himself it would be enough time to pull himself together and carry on. He couldn't allow himself to get sick again, not at such a crucial time when he needed to focus more than ever, and Flavio was doing everything he could think of and everything within his power to stay calm and work as hard as possible, even if it meant deviating from his plans to study for a little while longer than he intended.
 
The years were passing too quickly. They always did, when Monty spent too long in one place. His twenties and thirties had disappeared in the blink of an eye, and though taking the job at Hogwarts had slowed life down for a little while, his fiftieth birthday was advancing on him with alarming speed. Fifty. It wasn't the end of the world. By wizard standards, he might even still be considered young. But it was still a frightening number.

To take his mind off things, Monty was walking around the school grounds, enjoying the autumn colours and the fresh air on his face. Even with his office on the second floor, he always felt a bit cooped up inside the castle. But time was getting on, and Monty knew he had to get back and finish a job he'd started earlier that morning. On his way towards the doors he saw Flavio, and offered him a nod of greeting. He was going to pass the Ravenclaw right on by, but as he drew nearer something about the boy's expression made him stop. He couldn't quite decipher it, yet felt at once as though he should be concerned. "Everything all right?" he asked, keeping his tone casual in spite of his rising worry.
 
Flavio wanted the fresh air to calm down the forming knot in his stomach, as he breathed in and out while reassuring himself he would be alright. But alternately his mind was overthinking his circumstances and he felt suffocated thinking of every responsibility and expectation he needed to meet. He moved a hand to his chest, feeling overwhelmed, and it would have been too much all over again if a voice didn't sound in his ears, and he looked up to see professor Pendleton. Usually, Flavio's instinct would be to cover up his feelings and move on, but whether it was the fact this would mean lying to a professor or he knew it wouldn't be possible to hide what was happening, he found himself telling the truth, even if it was by answering with a simple word. "No." Flavio uttered, shaking his head slightly. Tears were forming in his eyes and he made no effort to blink them away, feeling paralyzed by his emotions.
 
Watching Flavio press a hand to his chest was enough to make Monty understand. It was a subtle action, yet one Monty had made thousands of times, usually in the midst of a panic attack, or shortly following one. He had no idea why putting a hand on his chest helped calm him, but it did, and so it became a habit - an indicator to any shrewd observer that his heart was pounding and his mind running away with him. He also understood that, in the midst of anxiety, 'yes' was almost a reflexive answer to the question 'are you all right?' and that answering in the negative was not only difficult, but downright brave. Of course, he was assuming that Flavio's thought processes worked exactly like his own, but if they were even remotely similar then he could not stop and leave this boy by himself. "OK," he said, putting a hand on his chest to mirror Flavio's. "Take a deep breath with me. In through the nose... out through the mouth." He repeated this twice more, hoping Flavio would copy him. "You're all right. It's all right. Come and walk with me, yes? Let's walk together. The view is quite extraordinary today. Do you prefer autumn, Flavio, or spring?"
 
Flavio averted his gaze to the ground, following professor Pendleton's instructions to breathe in with his nose, and out with his mouth. The feelings forming in his chest and stomach weren't cured by the action, but they did not grow worse either, and what might have been feeling sick all over again began to seem manageable. There was no way for him to know if it would continue to calm him down a little or if the worries would return twice as badly when he stopped, but in the moment it was enough. He continued focusing on the simple action of breathing as it was the least difficult part of the situation, not speaking much, if at all as professor Pendleton mentioned going on a walk. Flavio nodded and began to walk alongside the man and kept breathing, unable to say much until a few minutes later. "Spring is the time when there are lots of ducklings, so I like that." He answered eventually, still clutching a hand to his chest.
 
Monty knew he couldn't force Flavio to walk with him, so was relieved when the boy agreed without protest. Often when the professor felt anxious or overwhelmed, simply walking in nature was enough to clear his mind, or at least give him the distance from his troubles that he needed to consider them from a different perspective. For a few minutes he walked quietly, his hands in his pockets, unsure whether talking would help distract the Ravenclaw or overwhelm him even more. The view really was as spectacular as Monty had said; a silvery mist had settled over the distant trees, which graduated from deep brown to bright yellow and back again. At last Flavio replied. "Do you like animals?" Monty asked. "I'm allergic to a number of them, unfortunately."
 

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