Closed Presence

[Zennon Baros]

Zennon dropped another book on the table he'd reserved for some study time. Honestly it was difficult to find any time to go over anything from last semester. He wanted to make sure he had a good idea of the foundations before heading into seventh year. NEWTs were no bludge, that was true, and he couldn't rely on things he already knew. He wasn't sure what History of Magic in seventh year was like, but he would be finding out soon enough. He had to be prepared. He wasn't sure he was looking forward to another semester with Professor Ward, but, he was the History of Magic Professor, so that meant he'd have to deal with it. Still, he only had another year of this, he could do a year, then he would leave and go into Healing and have to study all over again. Honestly the thought scared him a little. Leaving and going out into the world all by himself? He shook his head and picked up another book about Salazar Slytherin. He wasn't sure why he was bothering, since they were all pretty much saying the same thing anyway, about how he was a horrible person. Why did no one talk about the fact that the reason he'd done most of that was because muggles were literally burning each other at the stake. It wasn't like he'd said he hated muggles or anything, just that people from magic families should be taught magic and those from muggle families shouldn't be. True, the statue of secrecy had not come into effect yet, but the point was that muggles and wizards of the time lived together for the most part. Now of course that had been ruined by muggles trying to kill each other and not really succeeding in killing real magic users, and if he were honest there were a lot of inconsistencies, but, all of this was written after he'd died, the oldest book he'd found was maybe five hundred years old, which didn't fill him with any great sense of, yes this was the best one, at all. Zennon sighed and flicked open his notebook to take notes. Well, one thing he enjoyed from muggles was the lack of bloody parchment.​

 

[Professor Matt Alcott-Ward]

Matt spent more time in the library than most of his students did, but he saw it as one of the perks of teaching at Hogwarts. He'd been here for a few years now, and had developed a fondness for a select few library books, ones he took out more often than was maybe strictly polite. But he still tried to pick new ones too, and there always seemed to be books he hadn't noticed before. It was wonderful, and Matt never felt like he was running out of things to do in his free time. He was heading over to a section of the library that held some of his favorite History books, when he spotted Zennon Baros with one of the books he'd recently read himself. He paused, wondering if he should bother a student. But from comments in the exam and homework he'd seen from the boy, he was curious about Zennon's perspective. Perhaps a little discussion wouldn't be a bad idea? Matt decided he would leave the boy alone if he got the impression he didn't want to talk. "That's an interesting book. At least, if you ask me." He told the boy, nodding at the one he was holding. "I would think sixth years would be tired of the founders after a whole semester. It's good to see it still holding your interest." He said, giving the boy a friendly smile.

 

[Zennon Baros]

Zennon took notes from the book about the sorts of theories surrounding Salazar Slytherin. It was common knowledge these days that Zennon was a parselmouth and he'd somehow managed to gain something of an obsession with finding evidence that not all parselmouths were bad, unfortunately, it was a bit hard when people were against them mostly. He was surprised to hear a voice speaking to him, and even more surprised that he recognised it, even though it didn't belong to a friend or either of the twins. He frowned, looking up at Professor Ward. "It's not so much the founders that hold my interest," he said, though he thought maybe the Professor was just being polite. "I don't care about them so much, they all got live accounts of all the things they did, probably wrote a lot of it themselves and you never seem to hear about anything bad they might have done, though we can be pretty assured there would have been something," Gryffindor especially. The man was a duellist after all and in those days he thought you could be pretty assured that people didn't get that good without having killed a couple of people. But did anyone talk about that? Noooo, course not. Then there was Rowena, who on the surface was probably nice enough, but her relationship with her daughter was always just clouded over like it was nothing. No one ever talked about that either. He didn't know much about Hufflepuff, but he was sure there was something, it was all well before the statute after all, who knew what kind of things they got away with back then when they could hide amongst the muggles, many of whom probably treated them like gods. That thought made him shiver. He flashed back to the time Jake had compared him to Voldemort. It had cut him deeper than he'd ever admitted to his friend because, for a long time, he'd believed it. "It's Slytherin I'm focusing on." He finally said, leaning back in his chair to rub his eyes. "But there's never much on him beyond the one fight he had with Gryffindor and the fact he apparently hated muggleborns so much he didn't want them in the school," he didn't know why it upset him so much, apart from the fact that it didn't help to paint himself in such a great light. As he'd admitted to Monty last year, Slytherin, Parselmouth, Pureblood... and, now he was a Prefect. It really did just make him more and more like Voldemort, or who Voldemort had been before. Not that Zennon would ever hold to the same ideals, but, he needed something to prove he wasn't like that and only grew more frustrated when he couldn't find his answer.​

 

[Professor Matt Alcott-Ward]

Zennon told him it wasn't the founders that held his interest, though he seemed to contradict it a little by saying he was interested in things that they had done that weren't written about, bad things. Matt nodded slowly, putting this together with Zennon's homework and exam, it seemed to him like the boy was fixated on Slytherin, and his largely negative reputation compared to the other founders. "Oh, undoubtedly." Matt said. "Everyone does bad things, and I do not doubt the founders have done things we would disapprove of these days, especially considering the time they lived at." He said. "We know a little about Rowena and her daughter, which does not necessarily reflect well on her. And while less is known about Hufflepuff and Gryffindor, though if you ask a goblin about Godric Gryffindor, you will get a less than favorable opinion on him." He said, smiling slightly. He didn't mention Slytherin, but he wasn't surprised when Zennon did. Matt didn't miss the use of 'apparently' in his sentence, and wondered if the boy really doubted the accounts were accurate, or if he just wished they were. Matt pulled back a chair and took a seat, hoping he wouldn't mind him joining him for a little while. "You're correct, much of the known history about Slytherin focuses on his stance on muggles and muggleborns, as well as his fight with Godric Gryffindor." He said calmly, nodding to the book. "I would assume most of that book would also focus on those bits of history, not because that's all that is to Salazar Slytherin, but because it is the part of his history that has had the most impact on our world today." He explained gently. "Was Slytherin bad to the core? Was he the bad one when all the other founders were perfect? No, I don't think so. Slytherin was a person, and everyone has good and bad qualities. History often paints in broad strokes, and it's easy to see people as black or white in hindsight. Especially when it was so long ago." Matt said. "But there is undeniable proof that Slytherin did not want muggleborns at Hogwarts, a stance many wizards have happily adopted over the centuries. Of course, there's nuance that is often forgotten with time, like the time period Slytherin lived in, in which muggles were less than friendly to wizards." It was understandable, to a degree. "But the discovery of the Chamber of Secrets in the previous century proves as well that Slytherin's opinion on this matter was hurtful and dangerous, even then." Matt said, looking at Zennon to see how he reacted to all this. "Apologies, I know I'm talking a lot. I'm afraid that happens when you become a Professor, especially one teaching a subject like mine." He added, trying to make the conversation a little lighter. He wasn't sure what was bothering Zennon, but Salazar Slytherin had something to do with it.

 

[Zennon Baros]

Zennon was a little surprised that Professor Ward seemed interested in engaging him in conversation... discussion, really. He was mostly under the impression that the Professor didn't like him, given they seemed to have different views on a lot of things. He was surprised at himself when he listened to what the Professor was saying, though he couldn't help but feel like he was in one of his lectures, and almost had to stop himself from taking notes as he spoke. That one moment alone made him chuckle lightly to himself as Professor Ward took a seat across from him and Zennon continued to listen to what he was saying. He supposed there was a point to what he was saying and there was a lot to be said for understanding the past but having no real idea of what happened back then. He supposed it was true that the only real way to know these sorts of things was to experience them yourself and since they couldn't do that they had to assume that their books were accurate. He could hear what was being said, but that was exactly the point as well, there was no real way to know for sure because people like Slytherin couldn't defend themselves against these kinds of accusations and it just seemed that there was so little known about the other founders and everything they did know about Slytherin was bad. Maybe it was true he built a chamber, but really that was history's word against Slytherin's who was to say that it hadn't been built by someone else, after all, they shared an ability, so did that not mean, it was likely to some degree, that Salazar was a distanct ancestor? You know who too, given Jake had immediately made that leap last year when he'd finally told him the truth. No one seemed to mind that though and people just decided to not like him based solely on his abilities. He still didn't understand why Arvel had immediately decided he wasn't worth befriending, especially since they'd never really had problems before. "It's because it was guarded by a door opened by parseltongue, isn't it?" Zennon asked, sitting back in his chair and sighing. It was the best way to catch someone out he guessed, looking down at his own parselmouth badge just below his prefect one. He'd been happily open about it for nearly a year now, but that didn't mean he hadn't come up against some opposition. "I can't escape it even in books anymore," he said, shaking his head. He knew it probably didn't seem to make sense to the Professor, but Zennon wanted desperately just to find one thing to use to show that not all parselmouths are bad. He'd stopped thinking about it for a while, but recent events had forced the thoughts back into his head again and he'd never really stopped thinking about it, he'd only really let it sit in the back of his mind, but it had always been there. He was a pureblood, parselmouth in Slytherin, it was like an expected path in and of itself. Being compared to one of the worst wizards in the world not once, but twice, certainly didn't help matters for him. "I just thought maybe I could find something... I have a reputation I didn't even ask for and it's people who don't even know me. It's frustrating." Maybe the Professor didn't like him, but maybe he could give him more perspective.​

 

[Professor Matt Alcott-Ward]

Matt realized he had been talking a lot, so he let a silence fall so Zennon could speak too. He wasn't sure how his impromptu lecture would be received by the Slytherin, and he was a little surprised when Zennon started about the chamber. "Well, partly that." He nodded, "and research of the chamber confirmed that it has been built around the time the castle had been built. It seems extremely unlikely it was anyone but Salazar Slytherin himself." He said neutrally. But he didn't miss the glance at the badge he was wearing, and it finally clicked into place why the boy was so interested in this. "I understand that parseltongue has a certain reputation." He said slowly. "Much like other rare magical abilities, but perhaps a darker reputation than most because of he figure it is most associated with." He said, nodding to the book about Salazar Slytherin. "The ability to speak parseltongue often gets lumped in together with prejudice against muggles because of the historical figure it is most associated with. That is not fair to you or other people with that ability." He started, thinking over his words. "But if I can give you some advice, Mister Baros, it might be a good idea to stop looking for answers in the past. History is never an exact science. We will never know how much Salazar Slytherin really hated muggleborns and muggles, how much of it was fear and how much of it was malice. And frankly, what someone who died a thousand years ago thought or felt is not really that relevant these days." He said with a slight smile. "Controversial an opinion that may be, for a History professor. I am much more interested in actions and their results. As long as you keep proving yourself to be a nice, accepting person in your own actions, worthy people will not judge you for the actions of someone else, even if they are most likely your ancestor." He said, adjusting his glasses. "I know it's very easy to say that people who say mean or hurtful things to you don't matter in the long run, but in my experience it is often true. If anyone in particular is giving you trouble, you can also always tell a professor." He knew that wasn't something a sixteen year old boy would like to do, but it would certainly help him more than the books on the table would.

 

[Zennon Baros]

Zennon had to admit that Matt had a point. He didn't want him to, by Merlin he would have preferred the man to be completely wrong, because then he could laugh and walk away, but it was hard to do that when people were making sense. Zennon liked history, it was something he enjoyed taking even if it wasn't a requirement, but it was the looking into the past that he enjoyed, and he listened to the Professor speak, leaning back in his chair as he did so. He appreciated that he was at least willing to talk to him about it too, rather than simply telling him he was completely off base or wrong. It didn't make Zennon any happier to hear it and it felt a bit like he was being told that his entire endeavour was completely fruitless which was never a nice thing to hear. It did annoy him a bit to hear Professor Ward talking about the ability, because people talked at him about his own experiences all the time, but they never really could understand. He was surprised then when the man essentially told him that looking into the past probably wasn't his best option and that he shouldn't focus all of his energies there. He laughed slightly when Professor Ward mentioned his opinion might be controversial and he could see why that would be, but it didn't mean he wanted to completely give up. How was he supposed to prove he wasn't like his ancestors if they were each following the same path? "I got into a fight at the beginning of the year," he said, careful not to mention names, "nothing physical... but we'd been friendly until he found out I was a parselmouth. He accused me of getting away with everything just because he thought I had no repercussions for lying for so long," he said. What Arvel had failed to realise of course was that Zennon had been living his entire life in fear of people thinking he was just waiting for an opportunity to suddenly become the next dark wizard or something. That wasn't his path, he wanted to be a healer, but he didn't know how many times he had to tell people that before they believe him he was still counting. "So I'm just supposed to go it alone?" He asked, leaning back closer to the table to close the opened book. "I can't just..." he tried to think about the words to say that would get his point across. "I can't just be the difference, I'm not a leader," he said, looking down at his prefect badge very aware at how that sounded. He'd never asked for a badge, it wasn't his fault that Professor Styx seemed to like him enough to give him authority over others, which honestly he still couldn't get over. He'd never wanted to be a Prefect, it had been thrust upon him. He was bad with authority figures and then he'd become one, this was all so hard. "I realise how that sounds... given I have a badge and all, but that's not my fault."​

 

[Professor Matt Alcott-Ward]

Matt listened patiently as the boy explained he had gotten into a fight at the start of the year. He sighed a little, frowning as he heard that he'd been mistreated by someone he had considered a friend. He knew that especially at that age, that would be devastating. "Well, I don't think he was right about you lying. Not divulging certain information about yourself until you're ready is not the same as lying." Matt said, thinking of how he had felt about his bisexuality as a teenager. It wasn't entirely comparable, but it wasn't entirely different either. "I hope that person learns from his mistakes and comes around. Maybe the information simply shocked him, or maybe he has things to learn. Either way, he wasn't right to treat you differently because he learned something about you he didn't know." Matt said gently. He wished Zennon had dropped a name so he could perhaps give the student a nudge in the right direction, but guessed he hadn't done so deliberately. Matt shook his head when Zennon asked if he should do it alone. "No, you do it with your friends. You keep the people close who accept you, and try to ignore the rest." He said softly. "I didn't say you have to lead a revolution, Mr. Baros. Simply living your life the best you can is already a step in the right direction. You don't have to be a leader, even if I think you're not giving yourself enough credit. Sometimes, simply living and doing the best you can is enough." He smiled a little. "I'm aware I'm in a position where this is very easy for me to say. I remember being your age, and it wasn't always easy. Adults forget what it was truly like, and I never had to deal with this exactly." He said, nodding to his badge. "But... I hope I could help at least a little. And if nothing else, we had an interesting discussion about history."

 

[Zennon Baros]

Zennon felt a little weird about all of this. Especially since he'd always been kind of convinced the Professor Ward didn't like him. They both probably carried their own bias and despite what he was saying, Zennon wasn't sure he was ready to let go of his struggle through to something he could use regarding Slytherin, but he was kind of getting more of an idea about who the Professor was outside of his work, which he supposed was always going to be a little biased if he really thought about it. History was biased after all and there was no escaping that. As someone who liked History, he probably should have understood that more than he did, but sixteen year old Zennon was steadfastly stubborn with that sort of understanding. Hearing him talk about it all though, made Zennon feel a little better, if nothing else. At least knowing that not everyone held one prejudice, which he did know, even if he made out he didn't, made him feel better. Having Professor Ward not immediately compare him to Tom Riddle had been helpful, as that seemed like the go to part. "You know... I always kind of got the feeling you didn't like me," he said, though now that he'd said it he felt kind of dumb. He wasn't sure how the freedom to talk would affect him, bit he was trying to be careful not to say something that would get him into trouble, especially since he didn't have much of a relationship with Professor Ward where he felt like he could speak freely, this was a free as he was going to get.​

 

[Professor Matt Alcott-Ward]

Matt knew he had been rambling, and had probably overstayed his welcome a bit, but he hoped that at least part of what he had been saying would stay with the boy. He seemed to have had a few very negative experiences, which were coloring his expectations of others. Matt wasn't sure what he was expecting the Slytherin to say, but the words that came out of his mouth weren't it. There was a beat of silence before Matt opened his mouth, looking concerned. "I'm... very sorry that I gave you that impression." He said quietly. "Could I ask you why you got that feeling? I don't dislike any students, but especially not those who actually seem interested in my lectures and the material in my lessons." He said, attempting at a bit of light humor. "I always find your essays very interesting to read." He told the boy truthfully. "Perhaps my negative opinions on anti-muggle prejudice come off a little strong in my lessons because of personal experiences I have had, but... please don't mistake those for anti-pureblood or Slytherin opinions." He said, wondering if that was the cause of the problem.

 

[Zennon Baros]

Zennon shrugged when the professor went on to apologise for having given him that impression. Honestly he couldn't really say that there was a specific reason why he felt that professor Ward didn't like him, mostly because he'd not thought too much about it. It probably had a lot to do with the assumption that most people knowing about his abilities looked at him as someone lesser. "I... don't know. I guess it's stupid now that I think about it," he said, shrugging. "Maybe it's just being a trifecta of things, I have all these things that people tend to look negatively on, and it kind of all twisted together, you know, with me being a Slytherin, a Pureblood and a Parselmouth... then there's the Prefect aspect as well.. you know because Tom Riddle was a Prefect, which people like to point out as a reason why just being a prefect doesn't make you a good person, he was headboy too, I think," Zennon said, becoming far more open with the Professor than he'd initially intended. Merlin, he hoped they didn't make him Headboy, he didn't need any more similarities to a Dark Wizard thanks very much, he had enough. "Pureblood, Parseltongue, Prefect from Slytherin... just what I need," he said, laughing slightly. All of it was stupid. "I guess I just... because you your lectures and the fact you got super passionate about things and I tended to have the opposite opinion on it, I just kind of assumed you held the same opinion as everyone else." It was true that a couple of his friends hadn't been stupid enough to say anything about it all, but he wasn't a legilimens, he didn't know what they were thinking about him and that was probably the worst part, all he knew was that he hadn't seen any of his friends as much as he would have liked this year and that didn't help either. "I definitely don't hate muggles... but it's true I probably don't remove myself completely from bias... being a pureblood and all, it's weird." He added, shrugging. He had a lot of anxiety about it really, though he'd never really told anyone about what he actually feared. This was as close as he'd ever gotten. He'd thought his chat to Professor Pendleton last year had helped him work through it only it seemed to keep coming back to haunt him.​

 

[Professor Matt Alcott-Ward]

It surprised Matt a little as Zennon made the connection between himself and Tom Riddle, as that had not been something that had ever even crossed his mind. He listened quietly as he explained his dilemma, also mentioning the former Dark Lord had been head boy, which Zennon could get as well. "Well, I can understand why you made the comparison in your mind... but you are not him." He said softly. "While I don't think these things matter in the slightest, Tom Riddle was not a pureblood, even if he clung to those ideals. But that is besides the point. There have been countless pureblood prefects in Slytherin over the decades, even if the parseltongue part is a lot more rare. That doesn't create a connection with Tom Riddle in my mind. " He told him gently. "Tom Riddle didn't became the Dark Lord because he was in Slytherin, because he was a Parseltongue or because he wished he was a pureblood. He became what he was because he was a terrible, selfish, and frankly... terrified man." He told Zennon quietly. "You are none of those things. There is no comparison." He concluded gently.

He nodded as Zennon explained what opinions he had assumed Matt having, though he couldn't help a gentle correction. "I don't think 'everyone else' has the same opinion. I think you are thinking the worst of other people, which I understand if you had a bad experience. But please don't make the mistake in thinking everyone believes your worst fears just because you fear them." He said, meeting Zennon's eyes. "I got passionate because of my personal experiences. My ex-wife is a muggle, and our daughter a half blood. If I ever came on strong about pureblood prejudice, it is because of what I fear April will face from people who keep holding onto aged bigoted beliefs." He concluded gently. "I believe we have to learn from History to be more open minded, which is why I try to emphasize that in my lessons on the subject."

He chuckled at his final words. "It's definitely weird. No one is exempt from having biases, Zennon. It's a part of being human. But being aware of them and questioning them is already a great step." He told him. "The fact that you're questioning all of this so much, are so worried about this, just means you are the farthest thing from the stereotypes you're afraid people see you as." He told him gently. "Do you think The Dark Lord ever questioned himself in this way? We'll never know, but I would guess he did not."

 

[Zennon Baros]

Zennon hadn't really known what to expect from his venture in the library, but a conversation with his History of Magic Professor certainly had not been it. Still, he couldn't stop himself from listening to the words he was saying. It had come of something of a shock to hear that Professor Ward didn't dislike him, and he'd certainly gained more respect and a better understanding of maybe where the Professor stood after having spoken to him. He was definitely thinking he probably should have done that before making all sorts of assumptions about the man. After all, he was in his class again next year, surely it wouldn't bode well if he went in thinking Zennon had a bad opinion of him, when it was probably completely unjustified to boot. He knew what was being said was probably worth more to him than he was taking in and to be honest, he wanted to believe it, and he could believe it out of the Professor's mouth, someone who probably had more experience in this sort of thing, with the knowledge to back it, but, how much could it really mean coming from him? Sure, there was a lot there Zennon wanted to believe and be vocal about, but it was hard to do so when he couldn't stop the feeling in his gut that there just wasn't enough there. Enough what? He wasn't sure, but surely there had to be more? He had to admit to his surprise that the Professor seemed confident enough in his own assessment of Zennon to make this declaration, though he supposed even if he thought lowly of Zennon, he wasn't about to tell him so, at least, not whilst he was sat in front of him like this. He still couldn't shake the nagging feeling though. He frowned a little as he mentioned his own daughter. The name April really vaguely rang a bell with him, but he would have been a couple of years below her, so they wouldn't have interacted much, since he wasn't able to immediately think of her. He hadn't really expected a lecture like this, so close to his exams, but he supposed it could have been worse and if he didn't get an Outstanding on his exam for NEWTs he would give up anything regarding history ever again. He knew that NEWTs were going to be harder than OWLs and he could only hope he was well prepared for next year. He wasn't sure what materials they would be covering, but he definitely wanted to find out for next year, because he thought it would be important to come in with existing knowledge. "That makes sense... all of it, actually," he said, and he wanted to believe it so much, and maybe one day soon, he would. He knew most of his hesitation came from his own fears and that he wasn't exactly helping his own situation by obsessively trying to find something he could use to prove all of history wrong, but, the point still stood. There were a lot of elements about him that people used to try and make a point and so far he'd not managed to alter anyone's perceptions. Well, maybe one or two, but who could tell what they might really be thinking in their heads? He had so many more questions now that he had an open dialogue with someone who was far more of an expert, but he also knew that they were questions he would probably need to think more on himself before trying to formulate his thoughts into anything coherent. "Thank you, Professor. You've certainly given me a lot to think about."​