Post-Valentine's Blues

[Arvel Ayers]

Arvel was usually grumpy about studying for History of Magic, but he wasn't usually this grumpy - especially not when Analei was going to be studying with him. Analei made practically anything fun, or at least tolerable; but Arvel had a lot on his mind, and the last thing he wanted to do was write an essay on some old man who'd died hundreds of years ago. By having a lot on his mind, what Arvel really meant was that he couldn't stop thinking about Nixon. He couldn't stop thinking about how soft Nixon's lips had been, how warm he'd felt pressed up to him, how loved he'd felt, briefly, and how he'd soared up to a world where nothing could touch him or try to pull him down - then these thoughts would be interrupted by something bitter: the image of Nixon turning away when Arvel tried to catch his eye in the corridor; the feeling of being invisible, unwanted, discarded. Had he been an idiot to think the kisses had meant something? Probably. But who could blame him? Nobody had ever shown him such affection before; he would have been as much an idiot not to cling to that wonderful feeling as to simply let it go.

Slouched over the table on one elbow, Arvel tickled his nose with his quill. Every time the door opened, he looked up to see if it was Analei. Maybe she'd forgotten? Then again, she wasn't really late. Time just seemed to drag on without her.

 

[Analei Westwick]

Analei had already written her essay for History of Magic, but she was more than happy to do more studying with Arvel, or lend him her notes and help him with his homework. It would be a good way to get her mind off of Simon, who she hadn't even seen in forever. She wasn't sure if he was actively avoiding her, but he certainly hadn't sought her out after she sent him a rose. Analei had spent a while on the poem for him as well, and yet he didn't even ask her for a dance at the Valentines Dance.
By the time she reached the Student Lounge, Analei had a face like thunder. She was so angry and upset that he didn't like her! She hadn't done anything to not make him like her, what was his problem? Analei quickly spotted her best friend, and stormed over to him, chucking her books on the table and slouching down in the seat opposite him. "Arvel, why does everyone but you suck?!"
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[Arvel Ayers]

Arvel didn't have to look up to know it was Analei who stormed in next. He sat up a bit as she threw her books down, startled by her ferocity. Had somebody done something to annoy her? Before she even opened her mouth he found himself developing a grudge toward whoever had done her wrong this time. "Um," he said, picking at the feathers of his quill awkwardly. Part of him wanted to comfort her - to disagree - but at that moment he was feeling the same way about people himself. "Why? What's happened?"

 

[Analei Westwick]

Analei didn't need asking twice, so when Arvel asked what was wrong, she jumped in. "Ugh, I sent a rose to Simon, and he didn't even reply. I went to the dance to see if maybe he'd ask me to dance, but he didn't! And I haven't seen him since, I don't know why he's not trying to find me, like what have I done wrong to him? I worked really hard on the poem too, and I was so nice to him every time I saw him, I just don't know why he doesn't like me, what's wrong with him Arvel?" Analei asked, almost feeling tears in her eyes. It was an unusual feeling for Analei. Usually, all she felt was angry, but today she was just upset.
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[Arvel Ayers]

This was all news to Arvel. He didn't mind that Analei hadn't told him - on the contrary, he understood exactly why she hadn't. He thought he'd maybe heard her mention his name once or twice in passing, but until now he hadn't really been paying much attention. Now the boy was suddenly his new arch-nemesis. "He's an idiot," Arvel said simply, as if he were telling her what colour eyes Simon had. "I didn't know you sent him a rose." And a poem, at that.

 

[Analei Westwick]

Analei dropped her head in her hands when Arvel said he was an idiot. She knew this but she didn't know why he was an idiot or how she could un-idiot-fy him. Analei released a big sigh, trying to think whether or not she should approach him, or ask if he got the rose or whether she should just leave it. "What do you think Arvel?" She asked, "Should I just leave it, or should I like, try find him or something? Ask him out?"
Analei nodded her head, looking at her friend when he mentioned the rose. "Yeah - sorry I didn't tell you - and sorry I didn't thank you for your rose too! I just got so distracted, and I didn't see you at the dance, I thought you were going, did you go?" Analei asked, feeling bad that she had forgotten about his rose.
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[Arvel Ayers]

Arvel wasn't used to people asking for his opinion, and briefly couldn't think of a single thing to say. He was flattered by the trust Analei placed in his judgement, but it was unfortunately misplaced. He didn't have a clue what she should do. "Do you... still like him?" he asked, thinking of how quickly names found their way into Analei's bad books. He shrugged and went back to picking at his quill. "Boys are all terrible." By which he meant, please don't ask Simon out, he probably isn't good enough for you anyway.

Arvel hadn't even realised Analei hadn't thanked him for his rose. It was just a silly thing. Then she asked if he'd been at the dance. He shrugged again. Ran a hand through his hair. "Um - yeah," he said. "I mean - no. Well, yeah. I danced with someone. But... it was nothing. There's a whole chapter in here on Morgana La Fey..." Arvel fingered the corner of the page of the open book in front of him.

 

[Analei Westwick]

Analei shrugged her shoulders when Arvel asked if she still liked him. "I guess...If he asked me out now, I wouldn't say no." She said, shrugging her shoulders again. Yes, he was stupid, but he was an incredibly attractive and kind stupid. Analei laughed when Arvel said boys were terrible. "Girls aren't all that great either though, so I guess I'll be alone forever." She joked, laughing slightly again.
Analei's eyes widened when Arvel said he had danced with someone. And he hadn't even told her?! She leaned across the table and slammed her hand on the book Arvel was touching, so that he didn't open it. "I don't care - you can copy my homework. Tell me everything!"
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[Arvel Ayers]

For some reason, Arvel's heart fell a little when Analei told him she would still consider dating Simon, if he asked. Arvel wanted her to be happy, but it was difficult to imagine her with somebody who hadn't even replied when she'd written him a special poem. Arvel would never have done something so rude. "I don't think you will," he mumbled, unable to convincingly deliver a compliment. No way would Analei be alone forever. She was funny, and kind, and smart, and pretty...

He withdrew his fingers sharply as Analei's hands came down on the book. "It's - nothing," he repeated, though suddenly he was thinking about Nixon again - feeling the pain sharply in unidentifiable places of his insides as he pictured him walking away. Worried his eyes might be watering, he rubbed them, pulling the book closer. Even if he'd wanted to talk about it, he didn't know how to bring up the fact he'd kissed a boy. He didn't even know if he liked kissing boys, or just Nixon. "We danced. And kissed a bit. He hasn't... really said anything since, so it probably didn't mean anything." He said it casually, shrugging a bit, opening the book up, though a crackle in his voice betrayed his emotion.

 

[Analei Westwick]

Analei smiled a small smile when Arvel mentioned he didn't think she'd be alone forever, but at that moment it was hard to believe him; apart from the fact that he didn't seem to have much conviction in his voice like he believed it, but she knew what he was like, so didn't hold it against him.
Analei's eyebrows shot up when Arvel said that he had kissed someone, but she couldn't stay angry with him for not telling her for even a second, he seemed upset about the situation, and Analei felt bad for going on about her stupid boy problems when Arvel had a much more serious problem. She realized that Arvel had said 'he', and she realized that she had no idea that he was gay, but it wasn't an issue for her. She wondered if it was for him, as it was for so many people. "And, do you want it to mean something?" Analei asked, though she asked much more gently this time, taking her hand back to her side. "I mean, do you want to, I dunno, ask him what's up? I could come with you..." Analei offered.
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[Arvel Ayers]

Arvel's heart was thumping so wildly he could feel his pulse in his feet, ready to leap up and run a mile at a moment's notice. Would Analei mind that he'd kissed a boy? She didn't seem to, but he couldn't know for sure what was going through her head. He shrugged again, uselessly, gaze fixed on the page though he wasn't reading. "He'd probably talk to me if he wanted to," he said quietly. "It's fine." It definitely wasn't fine. But he also definitely didn't want to cry, which meant he had to think about something other than Nixon, fast. The very last thing he wanted to do was confront him. "Have you finished your essay?"

 

[Analei Westwick]

Analei watched Arvel, but he didn't make eye contact with her. She felt really bad for not having noticed that something was wrong earlier, that she had just been so focused on her own dilemma. Analei shook her head in disagreement when Arvel said it was fine - it wasn't, you didn't just go around kissing people and then hanging them out to dry! She didn't like that anybody had toyed with her friend's emotions like that. She wished she knew who it was! Still, Arvel asked about the essay, and Analei didn't want to push him to do, or talk about anything he didn't want to. She leaned across the table, and gently placed her hand on top of his for a moment. "If you ever need to, or want to talk Arvel, you know I'm here." Analei said softly, before taking her hand back and shuffling through her papers to find the essay. "Yeah, it's finished. Here - and, here are my notes from the class too." Analei said, quickly finding the notes and passing it over to her friend.
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