Closed Lovesick, Not Actually Sick

[Sawyer Carnahan]

Sawyer trudged upstairs, moving about as unenthusiastically as he felt right now. He'd taken a quaffle to the head during practice and had been sent up to the hospital wing just in case. He just wasn't sure he could bring himself to actually go in there and face the nursing staff, all of whom were annoyingly attractive. Sawyer could probably handle a little headache if it meant not making a fool of himself in front of more pretty people. He already had enough of that dealing with his debilitating crush on Ivy. He'd nearly had to dump out an entire cauldron in potions the other day because he was staring at the way the torch light light up Ivy's hair and dumped a whole vial of armadillo bile into his potion. It was starting to get embarrassing. Groaning, Sawyer dropped down, leaning his back against the corridor wall so he could take a moment to drive the heels of his palms into his eyes, enjoying the blooming of stars behind his eyes for a moment before dropping them, groaning again for good measure.

 

[Harper Alston]

It was rare to find Harper indoors these days, especially with the weather warming up, but she'd recently caught wind of a rumor about a secret passageway on the third floor. Naturally, she had to investigate. Pressing on one of the indentations in the stone wall would supposedly reveal a hidden chute that led all the way to the dungeons. That passageway would be a major help in getting to Potions on time. Plus, it would just be straight up fun to find a four-story slide. The only problem was that there were lots of little dents and dips in the rough walls.

Harper was busy making her way down one side a corridor, prodding random spots, when she heard someone groan. She stepped back to peer around a statue and spotted a figure slump down at the end of the hallway. The person dropped their hands from their face, and Harper realized it was someone she knew. "Sawyer?" she asked hesitantly, approaching him. "Are you okay?" She didn't know if he wanted to be left alone, but she figured she should at least check on him.

 

[Sawyer Carnahan]

[oops sorry for leaving this so long]
Sawyer realized he might have been overdoing it on the melodrama when he saw he had an audience, peeking at Harper through his fingers where he'd covered his face and trying to decide if it was too late to shake it off with a joke or not. Harper did look pretty concerned, and she'd been a good, if embarrassing, person to talk to about his troubles with Ivy last time. "Oh uh. Hey... Harper. I'm just, you know, lamenting teen angst and hormones and stuff. The usual," he said, shrugging as nonchalantly as he could from where he was slouched against the wall. "You should join me. Good spot for brooding," he offered wryly, patting the ground next to him. "I just- You ever been unable to get someone out of your head?" He asked after a beat, letting out a frustrated huff and watching as it ruffled a lock of hair that'd slunk into his line of vision.

 

[Harper Alston]

((it's all good!))

Teen angst and hormones. "Right," Harper said, nodding slowly. She didn't know Sawyer well enough to know whether he was downplaying whatever was bothering him or whether this really was just a simple case of teen angst. But either way, she could play along. "I prefer to do my brooding in the dungeons. Better atmosphere for it," she said, matching Sawyer's tone as she took a seat next to him.

Things started to click into place when he asked his next question. Over the years, Harper had had a few crushes that took up an annoying amount of brain space. In fact, there was someone who had been running through her mind a lot lately, but she was doing her best not to think too hard about that. "Yeah, sometimes it's nice. Usually it's frustrating." She paused. "Is this about the person you were avoiding at the Valentine's dance?" That had been ages ago, but it also explained why Sawyer currently looked so down.

 

[Sawyer Carnahan]

Sawyer nodded a few times, humming in approval at Harper's assessment of the dungeons for their brooding potential. "Mm, noted, much too cheery up here," he said, glancing around the hallway and trying not grimace when the movement made his head ache. Stupid quidditch.

Sawyer's shoulders relaxed when Harper seemed to sympathize with his plight. At least he wasn't the only one pining away after unattainable people in their class. Though he couldn't help but feel Harper had better odds than he did. "I uh- yeah. Unfortunately," he admitted when Harper brought up the dance. "Here I was hoping you'd forgotten about that," he said, dragging a hand down his face and sighing. "I wanna be over them, I really do. But I just keep thinking like. What if.. You know? It'll never happen, but." Sawyer shrugged, exasperated, his jacket catching on the wall behind him and rucking up around his shoulders. It was tempting to tell Harper who he was talking about, it felt stupid trying to obscure it, but he didn't think he'd survive if Ivy or her friends somehow found out he'd been ogling her for months and since Harper was Ivy's roommate he just couldn't risk it. She didn't seem like the sort of person to go around blabbing Sawyer's dark secrets but he knew how roommates talked. All it took was one late night gossip session and Sawyer could never talk to Ivy again.

 

[Harper Alston]

Harper doubted she'd ever forget that dance. Sawyer literally diving under her table had been the funniest thing to happen that night — well, maybe second funniest after the dance floor got overrun by flamingoes — and she was tempted to make a joking remark. But he looked so miserable that she made a noncommittal noise instead and shrugged, trying her best not to smile at the memory.

"It kind of sounds like you don't want to be over them, not if you're always thinking 'what if?'" she said gently. Harper had always gotten over her past crushes specifically by not dwelling on the "what if?" question. Or brooding over them in random hallways. "Why do you think it'll never happen?" Never was a pretty strong word. Was this mystery person much older? Someone already in a relationship? Someone who didn't like guys? She'd gotten the impression Sawyer was unlikely to ever give up the person's name, especially since he hadn't even given up their gender. But maybe an additional clue to their identity would help her understand the situation and why it had seemingly taken up the last nine-plus months of his life.

 

[Sawyer Carnahan]

Sawyer scratched at his cheek at Harper's logic, sighing and tilting his head back and forth in reluctant acknowledgment. "Maybe it's not so much wanting to be over it. I'm not sure I have a choice," he admitted. He glanced sidelong at Harper's question, chewing on his lip for a moment. It wasn't that Sawyer thought he was a loser per se, but he was aware of his own social standing. And of Ivy's. He knew how things worked around schools. People like Ivy didn't date people like Sawyer, even if he was on the Quidditch team. "Some people are just out of your league, you know? I'm not saying that to get sympathy, honest, I'm just being realistic," he said, tucking his knees up to his chest so he could rest his chin on them. "I can barely carry a conversation with them half the time, let alone do something like ask them to the ball," he said, waving a vague hand. Harper struck him as someone a lot more composed than he was, but Sawyer couldn't help but imagine she could relate on some level from the way she'd been talking.

 

[Harper Alston]

Harper had always believed that with enough willpower, you could make anything happen — and that included getting over a crush. So she wasn't sure she bought Sawyer's claim about not having a choice in the matter, but she decided to keep quiet, knowing he probably just wanted support. She listened patiently as he explained his predicament, and when he was done, she spent a few moments trying to figure out what to say next. It sounded like Sawyer had a self-esteem problem, and while Harper had always been a naturally confident person, she wasn't sure how to advise him to be the same short of telling him "just be more confident."

"Ok, first of all, I doubt they're actually out of your league." Harper hoped she came off as sincere though she was admittedly operating with very little knowledge here. She didn't know Sawyer that well, and she had no idea who this mystery person was. She was also a little too ensconced in her own friend groups to pay much attention to the broader social hierarchies at the school. "But more importantly, you can't think like that, in terms of who is in or out of your league." Harper of course had her occasional bouts of insecurity, but she couldn't imagine thinking herself not important enough to be with someone. She couldn't argue with Sawyer's claim that he could barely talk to this person — after all, she'd seen him literally run away from them — but the mention of the ball gave her an idea. "I think asking them to the ball might be the best idea. Then you'll have an answer, and you can move on. It'll be awkward and painful for, like, thirty seconds, but isn't that better than brooding over them? Besides, they might say yes."