Life Doesn't Get Better Then This

[Justin Cliffeton]

Professor Justin Cliffeton had completely moved into his girlfriends place about a week ago and he was really enjoying being here. It was such a nice atmosphere being here with her and being able to spend all the time together that they did. Between her and their new kitten friend, he knew that he would always have something to look forward to when he came home. Taking advantage of the alone time for the day, Justin was spending some quality time with their kitten in his Golden Labrador animagus form and he was so happy that he was able to spend the time with their pet like this because it was a bond that you weren't able to have as a human because well, you couldn't really have an animal relationship as a human because you weren't an animal.

Justin had been home for a couple of hours now and he was pretty tired since he had pretty much changed straight into his animagus form when the kitten had run over to him for him to give her some love and attention. He knew that Lily would be home soon and he was interested to see her reaction to seeing him like this. He wondered if she would be scared or confused, or even both. Not that he wanted to scare her, but it would definitely be a funny way to surprise her and see what happened. Justin heard some noise outside the door and curled up and laid down next to the cat. This was going to be funny.

 

[Lily Cliffeton]

Lily's life was in such a strange place, she couldn't quite believe all that had happened, in all, she felt like one of these days she would just walk up back in St. Petersburg with her life how it had been with all of this just some faint dream she'd had, but it wasn't. She was in a relationship with someone who wasn't like anyone she'd ever dated before, and somehow they'd gone from just friends to more than that, to actually living together. It had been a progressive thing, but she preferred having him around than not, she couldn't get over how her place had gone from being barely lived in, an empty canvas of a place, to being a home. Somewhere she looked forward to returning to at the end of a long day, things just seemed right with the world, they just seemed to have perfectly aligned for once for her, and Lily couldn't believe it. Though, the more time he spent with her, the more she feared telling him about the problems they would face if this relationship got any more serious. She had gone to a muggle doctor in New Zealand and asked if there was any way the doctors in Russia might've been wrong, but she'd known what they'd say.

Lily felt this weighing down heavily on her mind, she felt it lingering on all the conversations they had, and yet she was just unwilling to say anything, unwilling to bring it up because of the shame she felt because of it. Lily felt exhausted by her day, though it had barely been any different to the rest of the week she'd been having. She figured Justin would already be home, she figured he would be playing with their little kitten, the cutest little thing she'd ever seen. She opened the door to her shared home, and stepped inside finding it oddly quiet, she didn't think anything was wrong with this place. She placed her jacket up and wandered into the living room of the house, her heels making soft sounds on the floor and she noticed it straight away, there was her lovely little cat and a dog right next to it. She frowned deeply, why was there a dog? Where was Justin, "Justin?" she called out to the rest of the house, not approaching the dog or her kitten, not particularly wanting to disturb either, "Justin, why is there a dog in the living room?" she called out, but there appeared to be no response, he was supposed to be home, wasn't he?
​

 

[Justin Cliffeton]

Justin couldn't help but hold back a laugh as Lily arrived home and seemed obviously distraught with the dog in the room oh so casually laying down next to the cat. It was an odd thing to say the least and he knew if he had been the one coming home and finding Lily like this he would be super confused. There weren't many people in the world who knew that Justin was an animagus, it was a jealously guarded secret of his own choosing and he was happy with that. The more people knew, the more they would ask him to teach him how to do it. He didn't want to teach people how to do this, it was hard enough to teach flying to first years let alone teach people how to be an animagus.

Justin got up and walked over to where she was looking for him and stood in front of her so that she could see him, and while she was watching him he shifted back into his human form and gave her a big kiss. "Hey beautiful." He said with a smile, shrugging off the fact that he had just changed from a dog to a human like it was nothing at all. He just stared into Lily's eyes and brought her into a hug, he really enjoyed spending time with her and living with her. Everything about his life had changed so much lately and he would never change any of it. As he looked into her eyes he couldn't help but think something crazy. "I love you, Lily Fossil." He said with a smile on his face.

 

[Lily Cliffeton]

The former ballerina was increasingly concerned when the house remained silent, she wondered where he was, where he had gotten to. Justin was supposed to be home, where had the dog come from. She had been about to march through out the house until she found him when the dog which had been settled next to her kitten moved and stood just a little in front of her. Lily was no afraid of dogs, but she literally didn't know where this dog had come from, how was she supposed to do anything, she didn't want to touch it until she knew that it was clean and hadn't somehow broken into their house. Perhaps through the garden but she doubted that was true. She didn't think they lived near anyone who did have dogs, so this dog in front of her was a complete mystery, until all of a sudden the dog shifted and became human right into front of her eyes. The former slytherin was glad she hadn't been holding anything, because she would've dropped what she'd been holding. She just stared at him, as he greeted her as if nothing had just happened. Like he hadn't just been a dog and was now human without so much of an explanation. Of course she knew that some magical people were animagus, but surely that was something you told people? Specifically you told your girlfriend.

The kiss took her by surprise, and she barely registered what he'd said, her mind still on the fact he had just been a dog, and she barely returned the hug, as her mind still processed it, clearly Lily had spent too much time away from magic to believe this so quickly. Lily had been about to say something when his gaze met hers and then he said those three little words she hadn't expected, and she just felt so overwhelmed by it all, "I have to sit down," she looked away from him and then took a seat at the dining table. Just letting her mind comprehend all of the things which had just happened, "So, you can become a dog?" she blurted out, barely hiding the slight hint of anger over just finding out this fact, although perhaps her anger was unjustified, since she had been keeping something from him that was far bigger, but she wanted to deal with one thing at a time. She sighed slightly rubbing her eyes, "Sorry, I just," she looked at him with an apologetic expression, "I spent so long away from magic, I guess I forgot that wizards could do that," she admitted with a small sigh, her life had just been so starkly different. Then her mind, once she'd dealt with first thing, seemed to pick up on the fact that he'd said that he loved her, and she seemed to begin to process that, and then couldn't help but just burst into tears, she hid her face in her hands as she cried, things had been so perfect, so much better, he was just too sweet for her, he deserved so much better, but the only thing she could find herself able to do was cry.
​

 

[Justin Cliffeton]

Justin's frown at the thought of her being angry at him for the joke that he had played turned into a grin as she began to calm down. He still felt bad because she had been so confused and she seemed to be a little bit betrayed as well. "Not many people know I'm an animagus. You're one of the first. I like the reveals to be theatrical." He said with a slight chuckle. It was true enough. There was always something enjoyable enough about being theatrical in life, he just hadn't thought it would have backfired on him like it had. It had never been his attention to upset Lily, and he would never do anything of the sort if he could avoid it. She just looked so confused and it ate away at him. He knew from the way that he was feeling now that there was absolutely no doubt that Justin loved her and was undeniably in love with her.

So he was naturally completely confused in his own respect when instead of her saying it back or even just casually shrugging it off she just started crying. He was understandably beyond confused right now because he had meant it in a good way.. if it was even possible to mean that in a bad way he hadn't found a way yet, but judging by her reaction it seemed a lot like he was in the close running for it. He gave her a smile, and pulled her into his arms and just held her there. He wasn't sure what more he could do. Still holding her there, he finally spoke. "Lily, what's wrong? Normally people don't burst into tears when their boyfriends say they love them." He said with a scared voice. Had he said it too early? There was so many things going through his head right now but all he could bring himself to do was hold her in his arms while she cried.

 

[Lily Cliffeton]

Lily didn't even know why she was crying really, it had just broken out of her, she had no idea how to stop the tears from falling, nothing made sense to her. She was pretty sure she felt the same about him, she felt like it was just right everything between them, but Lily didn't want this to be happening. The knowledge she guarded, that she kept close to her chest was something that would likely affect this relationship and she didn't want it to, Lily didn't want to ruin this. Everything about him being in her life was just good, the fact that she'd managed to quite well adjust to him in her life, and their relationship which was better than anything she'd ever had before. This was the first real fight they'd actually had, if it could even be called a fight, he'd just said something and she'd just broken down in tears. Lily knew how it looked, and she hadn't wanted it to happen, but it had and she couldn't even seem to manage to stop the tears from falling, she couldn't stop them at all, burying her face in her hands Lily could only feel a deep sense of frustration, not even directed at him, but directed at herself.

Of course she realised that her behaviour was likely more than a little alarming, she had just started crying, too soon after he'd said he'd loved her, and so it was to be expected that he would bring her in his arms and she allowed this to happen, and it just seemed like this caused her tears to fall harder faster, she was just crying into his shirt, just so unsure about what was happening, she didn't know what to say, what words she could use to phrase what she wanted to use to tell him exactly what was going through her head. Before she could, he spoke again and she felt him speaking, could feel the way his chest moved when he did, and Lily couldn't help but feel even worse about it. It was just silly, this was silly, she was just getting overly emotional about it all, but nothing she thought about seemed to stem to flow of tears from her eyes. She shook her head, she wanted him to know that it wasn't because he loved her, "Justin," it came out as a half sob, she didn't know what else to say. Lily took as many deep breaths as she could as she wiped her eyes and removed herself from his arms. She looked up at him, with tear glazed eyes and tried her best to smile,

"It's just overwhelming," she managed to say, "When I got back to New Zealand, I didn't think I'd end up dating ever again, and you curved balled that," she told him, her tone was soft, she spoke as if trying to figure out her own head while speaking. The girl wasn't sure what else to say, "I am bad news Justin, I can never give you what you want" she stopped herself from speaking as she began to appear on the verge of tears. She stepped away from him wiping her eyes furiously, "I have to go, I need air, time" she said, and then repeated it more quietly to herself, so she grabbed her jacket and bag from where she'd hung them both up, double check for her wand, "Justin, I'll be back in bit," she stood in the doorway, "I just need to leave. I do....love you, but I just need, I just need to go," And with that Lily just walked out the door.
​

 

[Justin Cliffeton]

Justin couldn't believe what was happening in front of him. It was quite frankly the most confusing thing that he had ever come across in his whole entire life. His girlfriend, who had just admitted that she felt the same way for him that he did for her, had just run out of the house and left him here alone, with only their kitten to keep him company. He wasn't sure what to believe, he wasn't sure what was going through his head and he just collapsed into a mess onto the floor where they had been standing. On one hand, she loved him. On the other hand, there was something about her that was bothering her so much that she couldn't stand to be with him anymore. It was odd and he really hoped that this hadn't been his fault. She had sort of told him that it wasn't his fault, but there was just so much that he didn't understand.

Where was she going? When would she be back?

Justin was having so much trouble understanding what was happening, and why it had even happened. His girlfriend had just walked out on him only moments after he had said that he loved her. The worst part was she had admitted that she loved him on the way out. What did that even mean? What could that even mean? How could somebody love someone and just walk out on them like that with no idea where they're going? He sighed to himself as he sat on the kitchen floor, he could feel the tears welling up in his eyes but he just forced them back and forced himself to stay busy. He would clean up the house, make some food for himself and some for Lily. If she came back, she would be hungry and he owed her that much. A warm meal and a helpful ear.

That was all Justin had to offer right now.

---

---

A few days had passed since Lily had walked out and Justin hadn't seen her or heard anything from her. It was all so strange to him. He would have thought that she would have at least sent him some kind of message to let him know that she was okay. Because he was so worried about her. Some nights he wasn't able to sleep because of the difficulty of not having her around. But he managed the day to day things that he would need to manage. Every time he had a meal he made some for him and some for Lily, on the off chance that she would come back. He wanted to be ready to see her and he wanted her to know that whatever it was that was on her mind he would be okay with it. He knew that there was nothing that he could do until she was ready to let him back in.

Justin loved her, and he would wait for her. He set out to make dinner for the night, preparing one of her favourite meals in the hopes that tonight would finally be the night where she would come back to him. He just wanted to see her again, to hold her in his arms and tell her that everything would be okay. He missed her so much and his heart yearned for her. He knew without a doubt that he was completely in love with her. His feelings wouldn't change. They couldn't change. He would wait for her, until the day she got back and he would welcome her back with open arms. He owed her that much, for she had taken him into her home and into her life when she hadn't wanted a relationship. He owed her the best that he could offer her.

---

---

 

[Lily Cliffeton]

Lily had been grateful when Justin hadn't chased her out of the house and rather had just respected her wishes and let her go, even though she imagined it hadn't been an easy thing for him. She didn't know what she would've done had he done tried to follow her, she had spent the past two days trying to figure out where she was in her own head, where she stood with him. Lily had gone to France, she'd apparated straight out of New Zealand and had gone to where her brother had once lived, the first place that had popped into her head. She begun by wandering the streets of Paris, eventually just stopping in the Luxembourg gardens and crying until she couldn't, she had visited her brother's grave and spent the time doing countless little things that she remembered doing with him the few times she'd come to visit him. She'd even stood in the airport where she knew she could just use some of her left over muggle money and take a flight back to Russia, return to that life which she had left behind. But, really all she'd done was wander around, moving between places, sorely bitter that she'd only brought her summer jacket since it was decidedly winter in the places she was visiting. Lily had needed the air, the space, the time, but she definitely felt bad about what she'd done, however she considered this an improvement, the last time something of that nature had happened she'd moved half way across the world to avoid it, this was better and it was the first time she'd felt bad about it too.

Eventually it was the rain that drove her back, she had been back in Paris when the heavens had just opened and a torrential downpour had just begun spilling out. The dark clouds had been lingering above her head for most of the early morning and when the downpour had begun, and within seconds she'd been soaked to the skin, she felt like it was time to come home. She was no closer to knowing how to talk to him about her issue, but she wanted to go home to him, hopefully he would still be there. The woman hadn't slept the entire time she'd been away, she felt tired and she felt emotionally spent, she just wanted to be in the warmth of her home, with Justin and their kitten. She spotted a mother hurrying with a pram to get to some real shelter and this helped make up Lily's mind about it, she needed to go home. Once decided on it, she had wondered through the rain until she'd found a small quiet lane to apparate from, and she reappeared on the street outside her house. Her resolve didn't break when she saw her home, instead she just found herself smiling at the place, it was her home after all and it felt like it. Shivering slightly the woman continued forward and then entered the house. She expected that Justin would be long gone really, she had thought that he would just leave once she'd walked out, half expecting such a reaction because she'd essentially done the same. However as she stepped into the house, she grew aware of the small scent of dinner and her stomach rumbled loudly in anticipation of hopefully coming food, her mind however couldn't help but think, He'd stayed.

Lily hung up her jacket and slipped off her water wet shoes, she quickly pulled off her tights which were soaked through and placed them down on top of her wet bag. She knew she had to go at the very least apologise to Justin for her being gone, before she dealt with her cold wet clothes. The warmth of the house, and the dampness of her clothes, hair and skin causing her to shiver as she made her way to their kitchen, "Hey," Lily said tiredly, she wasn't exactly looking herself, wet, cold, tired and weary, but a smile graced her lips as she saw him. She stood a little awkwardly at the entrance of the room, "You stayed?" she couldn't help but ask, and then her stomach rumbled loudly, "What are you making?"
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[Justin Cliffeton]

Professor Justin Cliffeton couldn't help but hear as the door opened and he knew straight away who would be at the door. She had come back. He couldn't help but smile as he cooked the dinner for the two of them as he had the last few nights that he had been gone. Tonight he had felt like it was a good night and he was hopeful that she would come back tonight, so he was cooking her favourite dish for her because he wanted her to be happy and full before she had to get into the reasons for why she left. He wouldn't force her to talk, that was something that he would have never forced her to do. He loved her, and he appreciated her, and he would want her to feel comfortable and whenever she was ready then he would be ready to listen to her. Justin walked over to her, closing the distance between the two of them, and just held her in his arms. He had missed her dearly and he wished that she hadn't been away for as long as she had. Pulling away, he gave her a smile. "I'll never leave you." He said, placing a kiss on her forehead.

Turning back to the dinner, he stirred it a little bit to make sure that it was cooked through and then turned back to her. "Your favourite, of course." He said with a smile. "Ikea Style Meatballs with Pasta." He said with a wink. Hearing her stomach, he held back a laugh. Everything was nice at the moment, she was back and they were about to eat dinner together. Things were coming back together from where they had broken apart. Turning back to the dinner, he began to dish it out onto a plate and he walked over towards their dinner table and he placed the plates onto the table for the two of them to eat. He had prepared extra for her because he knew that she would be hungry and he gestured for her to join him at the table.

 

[Lily Cliffeton]

Lily felt suddenly nervous when he turned round to face her, she couldn't help but feel like maybe that he had just maybe stayed to look after the cat and would leave now, or scream at her which she sort of felt would be justified, it still made her nervous about what was to happen next. But his reaction was one of caring, one of love, something she should've expected, he just closed the distance between them and she'd been about to utter another apology when he held her close, wrapping his arms around her in a hug, she felt her body sigh, she felt her water soaked clothes press against his dry ones. His warmth against her coldness, she couldn't help but feel glad she'd come back, glad that she was with Justin and not someone else, who might not have been so casual about what had happened, over the fact she hadn't so much as sent a message about it, that she had been safe. In her tiredness and in his arms she just leaned her body against his and felt so at home. He pulled away returning to the food, and she felt cold again, his warmth had been nice and now all she was left with was the cold, she wished he hadn't left the embrace. Although at his words, her favourite, and for a moment she was confused about what her own favourite was, she had her healthy favourite and then the favourite favourite, her favourite favourite had been too high calorie for her time as a dancer,and she was hoping it was that.

When he said what it was she took a deep breath and let the smell of what she loved fill her nose, she realised she loved him, really did love him. Her stomach grumbled in response to it, and she just laughed a little along with him, feeling a smile reach her lips. She had needed the time, the space but she was glad to be back home, glad to be watching him, watching him cook, something which she loved, feeling content with this. Lily yawned slightly and then nodded as he put out the plates, she glanced down at it and then her own clothes, "Let me go get changed first," she told him tiredly, but clearly happy, before heading through the house and upstairs, quickly changing out of the wet clothes and opting for a simple pair of jeans and over sized sweatshirt. Her skin still felt like ice and her hair was still dripping down her face but she felt more comfortable, better. Stepping back into the kitchen the woman sat down at the table and watched Justin serve the food he had prepared. She thanked him quietly and then pulled the plate towards her, the questions hung in the air. Lily didn't want to be the one to start it, she knew she couldn't apologise again, that would change nothing really. Nothing about what had happened, "How've you been?" lily asked it was a safe question to begin really.
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[Justin Cliffeton]

Justin smiled as Lily went and got changed and then came back downstairs to him. He couldn't believe that she was here. She had come back to him. She wanted to be around him. It was a good feeling, and it made him feel so much better that she was here with him. Justin couldn't think of anything else while she had been away, his heart had yearned for her presence and he had spent most of his days wishing that she would open the door and come home to him. He had missed her, and he hoped that she would never leave like that again. He didn't know what he would do, it had been the most excruciating time of his life. He loved her, he would always love her. She was everything to him.

Justin just ate his food as she spoke. There was so much going through his head at once. He wasn't mad at her, he was just a little hurt that she had left so suddenly and without any explanation. She hadn't even told him that he was alright. Everything had happened so quickly and he had been left in the aftermath; alone, scared, worried. How could she have put him through that? "Where did you go? Where have you been? Why did you leave?" Justin asked, and as he spoke you could hear in his voice that he was terrified. He had missed her, naturally, but he wished that it hadn't had to be like that. He wished that she could have just stayed and be with him. "I love you, Lily, and I understand that sometimes you just need space.. but I was so worried for you. Worried about us. Everything was crumbling around me and I didn't even know if you were okay." He said with tears threatening to burst out of his eyes.

 

[Lily Cliffeton]

Lily helped herself to the food after she'd posed her question and took a couple of bites, savouring the warm and amazing taste of the food. Unsure as to if it was because she'd barely really eaten during her time away or the fact that she was just very wet and tired but it all made the food taste incredible, usually Lily was the one in their relationship to cook, but he was pretty amazing at that too. She had gathered more food on to her fork when Justin had spoken and she looked up at him, putting down the fork and feeling her cheeks redden in embarrassment at his questions, she could tell by his tone of voice, and the way he was looking at her that he was upset. It was pretty darn clear that he was, and as she listened she realised there was a hint of fear, she'd left without saying much and she hadn't contacted him at all, she'd just left, wondering aimlessly and doing nothing that really merited talking about. She had nothing to say to his questions, unable to gather the right words that he would want to hear on the matter, nothing that would make him feel better or more at ease with what had happened. She didn't think that telling him about the fact she'd come back as an incredible thing considering the last time, when she'd moved to New Zealand.

As he continued Lily felt increasingly bad, she felt tears threaten in her eyes and she wiped them away furiously with her arm, Lily had never been good at expressing herself, she just used silence and space to allow herself to internally calm down, to deal with it, but in a relationship it was different, not telling the other person ended up doing more harm than good. Lily sighed heavily and offered Justin a small smile, "I'm sorry Justin," she told him sincerely, since she really was in fact sorry, "It's just how I always dealt with things before," the woman shrugged at him, knowing this would not be helpful in any way to him, to how he was feeling or had felt about it, "Sometimes I just can't deal with things.." she motioned to herself and the house as if saying that she couldn't deal with her own thoughts, "When my emotions get a little overwhelming I just need to leave, I need space and I need time and I can never find the words to express it, so I walk out," Lily shook her head, "I never meant to upset you, my brother was the only one who cared or got upset when I used to do it, but he's been gone so long I didn't even think you would get upset," Lily met his gaze and just tried to somehow express more how sorry she was about it. She couldn't express it through her words it seemed, "Just you telling me you loved me, it wasn't supposed to happen, you were never part of my plan when I got to New Zealand and now you are and it's just messed everything up because I don't want to disappoint you but I know I will,"
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[Justin Cliffeton]

All of the sudden, Justin had no idea what to say to her. Everything she had said made so much sense to him and he knew that a vast majority of the troubles that she was having were a direct result of him walking into her life and sweeping her off her feet. This wasn't an easy thought for him because it made it his own fault that she was in this sort of mood. He sighed to himself at the thought of this, and started having a little bit more of his food as he was mulling over her words in his own head. It was a lot to take in, and he didn't want to risk her becoming unsettled all over again and running away. He didn't know if he'd be able to take that. He didn't even know what was going through his mind, she seemed to be blaming herself but he could see through her words that it was his fault. He had changed the whole dynamic of her life. He sighed.

But at the same time as all of this, one thing stood out in her entire speech. She thought that she would disappoint him. That couldn't be further from the truth, she could never and would never disappoint him. He loved her, and he always would, nothing she told him would disappoint him. "Lily.." He started, but he had no idea how he would continue that sentence. There was a lot on his mind, but he needed to make sure that she understood everything that he was trying to explain. He sighed once again. "Lily, I don't know how you think you could ever disappoint me. I love you, and you're amazing, and I wanna be with you forever. You will never disappoint me." He said with a smile on his face. She meant everything to him.

 

[Lily Cliffeton]

It seemed that her words had struck a chord with him, or at least made him realise that things were far more complex than it just being a simple matter of her walking out over what he'd said to her. Everything had changed the moment he had entered her life, everything that had been once certain had changed and suddenly she was faced with choices that were near impossible for her to make, a part of her thought that them breaking up would be the best way forward at least for her, but she didn't want to do that, despite it all, Lily cared a lot for Justin, she did love him, she would never have come back if it wasn't for that fact. Even though it was going to be hard, and the thoughts that lingered on her mind about the future, their future, something so hugely important to them as a couple but she couldn't find the words to properly express it, she didn't want to lose him, and she didn't want to make him feel like he had to stay with her if he wanted something else. Lily felt like she was in an impossible position, how could she force him to stay with her in this situation, how could she justify breaking up with him over it without him even knowing what it was, there was just so much floating in her head, and she really just didn't want to disappoint him.

The former ballerina stared at her plate when he began speaking, saying her name, but she refused to look up at him, only doing so when he repeated her name, and as she looked at him and listened to what he said she couldn't help but smile somewhat sadly at him, shaking her head at him, she would disappoint him, she knew she would, she knew that she would disappoint him. Lily shook her head at him and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, she had to tell him, she had to find the way to tell him, she couldn't keep this to herself much longer, he had to know what he was getting into before they went much further really, she owed him that much. Lily sighed heavily, she forced a small smile as she looked at him, the words sat on the tip of her tongue and all she had to do was say them, "I can't have kids," she muttered in one quick breath, just loud enough for him to hear, as soon as she'd spoken, Lily seemed to brace herself for what she expected to be an angry outburst or for him to leave and she was sure if he did, he wouldn't exactly be coming back. Lily would never ask him to stay and she felt like pushing him away would be easier, but she didn't want to do that either, the choice would be up to him.
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[Justin Cliffeton]

Justin braced himself for whatever Lily seemed to want to tell him, her facial expressions were changing so suddenly that he couldn't keep up with what seemed to be going through her head. He was certain that there was something big on her mind and it was going to be a huge bombshell, at least in her mind. Justin knew that whatever it was that she had to say, he would be prepared for it and he knew that nothing would change the way he felt about her. He loved her, and he would love her no matter what. He knew in his heart that there was nothing that she could say that would change his mind. He had stuck around for 3 days while she had been gone anxiously awaiting for her to return to him; there wasn't much more that she could throw at him, but whatever it was they would deal with it together. That, he was sure of. Nothing would change the way he felt about her. He loved her dearly, and he would do whatever he could to help her.

Justin just gave her a smile as she seemed to struggle to get the words out. He understood the predicament that she seemed to be facing and he understood that it would be difficult for her to come out with whatever she was holding in. But he was a patient man, even more so with her. He had infinite amounts of patience when it came to her, and he knew that she would tell him eventually. He would have been lying if he said that he had expected her to say what came next, and he had to stop himself from laughing. That was it? That was what she was getting worked up over? Justin just gave her a smile, stood up, quickly walked up to their room and grabbed a small box that he had been saving. Placing it in front of her, he just kept smiling. "Open it." He said. "I bought it for our anniversary, but it might serve better here to make you realise that there's nothing to worry about."

Inside the box was a lot more then jewelery, it contained a promise from Justin to Lily, and he meant to uphold it forever. He wasn't proposing, that would be silly. They had barely been together a year. But Justin couldn't imagine a life without her anymore, and so he knew that some sort of commitment would be necessary to her, because he wanted her to know that he was here for the long run. "I love you, Lily Fossil. One day I hope to make you Lily Cliffeton, and just because you can't have babies doesn't mean that my mind will change about that. I know we haven't been together long, which is why I'm not proposing yet of course. But I offer you a promise. I promise to always be there, no matter what, and to love you." He said with a smile. He loved her, and he meant every word of what he had just said.

 

[Lily Cliffeton]

Unsure what to expect but, what the reaction turned out to be was what surprised Lily the most about the past few days, she couldn't believe it really, she had expected something more but he seemed alright with the idea of it, and she didn't know what to do about it, her last relationship had completely fallen apart when she had told him, they'd been trying, or desired to try and it had been that she'd learned the full extent of what damaged she'd done, even if she didn't feel too anger about it, since Lily would just claim that she'd enjoyed herself and wouldn't change her passions for the world. It was just one of those things where she then had to worry about when she was with someone, but he had never been part of the plan, he had been just a thing that had happened, an unaccounted for part of her life, and this reaction from him was just alien to her. Why wasn't he at least angry with her, or frustrated, perhaps he just didn't realise what it meant? When he stood up she almost felt a little reassured that perhaps he was going to react in the way that she thought might be normal, but instead he placed a small box in front of her.

Lily looked between the box and then Justin, her expression turning into a frown at the box, nothing to worry about, what was this? She opened the box and almost felt sick at the sight which greeted her, was he proposing, this wasn't the time for that, she didn't want that at all, did he want that? They were there in her mind, and she was no where near ready for marriage, thankfully he began explaining what it was but she didn't understand why he had gotten it for her, this didn't make sense to her, why was he giving her this after she'd just told him that at a certain point she would be unable to give him what most people wanted. She listened to what he was saying, and as soon as he finished she just shook her head at him, "Justin.." she started, taking a deep breath, "I know you mean what you say, but, I don't think you understand, I can't ever produce children, it's not something that's a possibility, it is completely impossible," she felt tears brimming in her eyes, "And you say this now, but you might want children, biological children some day and I just can't give you that," Lily looked down at the box,

"I feel so ashamed, I want you to have everything you might ever want but I can't give you everything, I don't want you to make a decision now you'll probably regret in a few years time," Lily had in school never seemed like the parent type, the type of person who really wanted a baby, but as she'd grown up, she'd decided that she wanted one, children of her own, which she could raised herself, a little piece of her own family to continue, she still held the open box as she looked up at him, she knew she hadn't even thanked him for the gift but she felt like she needed to address this first before she did so.
​

 

[Justin Cliffeton]

Justin just shrugged at Lily's words, he didn't see the big deal. So what she couldn't have kids? There was definitely other alternatives to it. Just because they couldn't have children of their own didn't mean that that was the end of that, there was so many ways that the two of them could share a little bundle of joy together. There was absolutely no reason for Justin to mean anything bad towards her because of this. He loved her, and that meant that he was going to stick around for the long run. Justin just placed his hand over hers, and smiled at her. He didn't mind, in fact the strength that she had shown to tell him about it just made him love her all the more. He knew now that he would have to be the strong person for both of them, and he would be there for her because it felt like she was ready to break down.

"It's fine, Lily." Justin said with a smile on his face. "I love you, and loving someone isn't leaving because they're a little damaged. Love is being there for someone and helping them thought it." He said, kissing her on the forehead. "Just because you can't have kids doesn't mean we can't have a kid together. We can always adopt, or just raise a bunch of kitty cats!" He said with a slight chuckle. "I'm just happy to be with you, no matter what." He said, wrapping his arms around her. Truer words had never left his mouth. Justin was in this for the long run, and he wanted to be with Lily for a very long time. Kids or not, that would never and could never change. "Now let's try this again, shall we? I love you, Lily Fos- Lily Cliffeton." He said, holding out the ring to her.

 

[Lily Cliffeton]

Lily knew that he was coming from a place of caring, but she couldn't help but feel like he just didn't understand what she was getting at, she didn't think he understood how she really felt about it, how she felt towards it. Lily knew that they would have other options but she felt like so much of a failure because she had really wanted a baby, she had really wanted a child of her own, who was her family, she didn't want to be the one responsible for ending her family, providing her father hadn't had any more children with anyone else, for now she couldn't see that being true and she felt like the worst person, not being able to do what she was supposed to be able to do, it wasn't even just for him, but for herself too. She had wanted to continue her biological family line and yet she'd be responsible for it's end, to the former ballerina it was a horrible feeling and was so much heavier than she felt that Justin was realising and she knew that he meant well and she could tell by his words that he would always support her, he'd always love her, and even though his words were well meant she couldn't stop as she just broke down and tears flowed out her eyes, long awaited tears as this was the first time she'd ever allowed herself to really break down about this.

Lily squeezed his hand as he spoke, offering the ring to her as he spoke, and she didn't know what to do, she wanted to agree but she still didn't think that he really understood why she felt so horrible about it, "I feel so ashamed," she repeated, "How could I have allowed this to happen," the woman muttered to herself, her shoulder shook with the sobs, "I'm the only one of my family left, I didn't want the family to end with me but it's going to and it's all my fault," she shook her head trying to gain control of herself over this, but she couldn't, the tears kept falling and all she could do was squeeze his hand and get him to understand that it didn't matter what he said about it that she would probably feel this bad about it for a long while. She grew jealous of every mother with a child growing within them, she couldn't help but feel distraught over stories of parents who badly treated their own children like they were more deserving of children than she was, "I know you say it's fine and you might feel like that, but I don't, this isn't fine," she muttered looking up at him with tear stained cheeks, "I'm so sorry Justin, this is all my fault and should've told you before this point. I want a family, I want to make a family with you but I can't do it, I want a baby,"
​

 

[Justin Cliffeton]

Justin knew exactly what was going on right now between himself and Lily, he understood everything that she was saying to him, and he felt that she was both ashamed and sad about it. But, he would be there for her, and he would be there for her through this ordeal. He would happily still be her boyfriend even though she couldn't give him biological children. That was fine, and he would be happy as long as he was hers. Smiling at her, he couldn't help but feel bad. She was putting all of this onto him right now and he wanted her to feel comfortable and happy. Justin loved her, and he always would, because she had made him one of the happiest men alive and he felt so much better with her in his life. He would always be grateful to her for that. She had improved his life.

In that moment, he made a decision. He knew he couldn't give her what she wanted through normal means. But it would probably be fun trying, but he knew that it would be fruitless, and he wanted her to fell better, there wasn't a lot that he could do. He smiled at her, making the decision. "If you want, tomorrow we will go and adopt a baby or look at some. We might still be a new couple, but I want you to be happy and comfortable and I think this is the next best friend to you having a baby." He hoped that that would make her feel a little better at least.

 

[Lily Cliffeton]

At his words Lily couldn't help but whole heartedly agree, that was exactly what she wanted, she wanted a child, a family and Justin just seemed so willing to do that. He seemed so willing to just accept every part of her, and she had to learn that it was okay for them to not have biological children though an aspect of Lily would always regret it, but she had to look forward to a future where they were together and they had a family. Justin had shown her in the still brief time they'd known each other how truly good a relationship could be, how magical they could be, and Lily who'd always thought relationship were such a struggle, a fight of sorts was suddenly thrust into a world she hadn't expected to be a part of. Up until now, Lily had thought her return to New Zealand would be calm, she would keep her head down and just work away but thus wasn't the fact, she had a good job and she had a boyfriend who cared, a lovely little kitten and soon, if what he was saying was something he wanted to stick to, perhaps even a child.

It was almost a scary thought, but she wiped the tears from her eyes, the weight of her own shame still sitting on her shoulders, but she was definitely happier, she couldn't yet find a her real smile but there was a slightly less sorrowful look as she let what he said sink in. The woman squeezed his hand and nodded her head, she didn't feel like she deserved his love and all of this affection but the shopkeeper was willing to give it her best. Lily leaned over and gave Justin a small kiss, obviously they needed to discuss this a little further but for now she was happy, leaning back she took the small box and then slipped the ring he'd given her on to her finger, holding up for inspection as she adjusted it slightly. "How does it look?" she asked thinking that perhaps this was only the beginning of the dinners they would share as a family.

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Done

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