Kill Me, Just Don't Doubt Me

[Conan Edogawa]

Conan Edogawa was on the verge of death. Certainly, when he had decided to shamble things up a few months ago, he had not expected Taylor to actually try and kill him. They have been a couple for more than two years and though they were having troubles here and there, they did manage to get through them one after the other. And he loved her. He really, really loved her. And he was serious about this whole relationship with her. And though he might seem that he was only fooling around sometimes, Merlin knows that he would not have any other woman besides Taylor to be with him. He tried, but no one could ever, every replace her for him. Besides, they've been engaged for more than a year and though people have sometimes been a relationship longer than they had, Conan definitely knew that he was more than willing and ready to go steady and to settle down with her. They had already started living together after graduation. He and Taylor had moved in to his parents' house. The place where he and Ai grew up before their parents' accident. He never thought he'd come back but he had Taylor now, and he wanted nothing more than have her with him there. And besides, surprising as it may be, they had jobs now and quite stable in fact. She was a professional quidditch player while he was a muggle relations officer. In his opinion, they were more than ready to settle down.

Conan rarely really wishes about stuff. And right now, he wanted a child. He wanted a family. And most of all, he wanted a family with Taylor. Well, right now, that wish was coming true. And it would have been perfect really. If only his fiancee was not trying to kill him this very instant. Literally kill him. It was a peaceful day, until the former Gryffindor had suddenly screamed bloody murder. She had found out the idiocy he had done during the celebration of their graduation and though Conan would have preferred to save his *ss, he had told her the truth, which led to flying china, glassware and many other things. He was only grateful that she had not thrown the furniture at him yet. He loved her really, but not really enough to risk his life knowing that anytime she just might throw a knife at him. Heaven knows how feisty and scary she was when angry. And she was more than angry right now at him really. Murderous rage was directed completely and ONLY at him obviously. Deciding that he needed to calm her down now, he emerged from his hiding place behind the couch from the living room and faced his raging fiancee. "Taylor, honey. I love you very, very much. I am not very sorry about this, but please, calm down. I'm sorry for getting you mad and... surprised, but I do really love you and need you to calm down," he pleaded and though he knew he was being redundant now, he didn't care. He just wanted her to calm down and talk to him instead of killing him. They needed to be matured right now. Why was she trying to kill him? Conan Edogawa had gotten Taylor Blare pregnant.
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[Taylor Blare-Edogawa]

Taylor Blare could not be in a more angry mood. To be honest, she didn't think she had been quite this angry before. Not since the incident with Miah, not since Liam, not even since she had that massive fight Conan a while back. This definitely took the cake. She was livid, irate, vexed, hungry for blood, not amused, not happy, angry, annoyed, destructive, out for the life of her fiancee, ferociously displeased, antagonised, impassioned, enraged and terrified all at once. She never expected something like this from Conan, not at all. He wasn't this person, at least she hadn't thought he was. Tricking her was just so... Slytherin. Was that how it was with him now? She couldn't believe he would even have the audacity or the balls to be able to do this. Throwing the pregnancy test against the wall, Taylor rounded on Conan. The day she had missed her period, she had suspected. After all, her cycle ran like clock work, she never missed her period unless something was up. But she hadn't been feeling sad or stressed, so it couldn't have been that. She'd stared at her calendar for hours, just to be sure, then she'd taken a pregnancy test as a last resort and though she was sure she knew what the result would be beforehand, she still hadn't been prepared. She was seething now. This was obviously all Conan's fault. He'd done something, he'd tricked her and she was going to hill him for it. "I don't know what you did but I KNOW this was your fault you *******!" She marched into the living room, through the house and into the kitchen. Drawing her wand she flicked it at the various plates and other breakables around her. "I am going to kill you Conan, I swear to god!"

Finally exhausting her supply of breakable objects in the kitchen, Taylor cornered Conan in the living room and glared at him. He was behind the lounge, she couldn't see him, but she knew he was there. She couldn't believe what he had done. She was so angry at him she couldn't even think straight. This was such a betrayal of everything. He knew what she thought about children. She didn't want any, not ever. She never wanted her children to ever have to worry about losing a parent. But if she had her way, this baby that she was now carrying within her, would grow up with a goddamn paraplegic father, or none at all. She watched as he tentatively poked his head out from behind the lounge. "I will not calm down, Conan, I bloody refuse! This is not okay. You shouldn't have done it!" Why couldn't he see that he had hurt her. She wouldn't get rid of this baby, she simply couldn't but she wasn't sure she would be able to forgive him for this. She didn't want to be Ai. She saw the trouble his sister had gone through. Why would he want to put her through all of that? "How could you, Conan? When did you become like this?" Was she only just seeing the real him now?
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[Conan Edogawa]

Conan Edogawa would not lie that he knew the consequences of his rather impulsive actions. Well, it was not totally impulsive if he really was going to be honest. It had been a while since he and Taylor had their first time and each and every time, he knew that she was always very strict with protection and always made sure that she was taking the proper measures to avoid getting pregnant. In all actuality, this bothered Conan by a a bit of a margin. Did Taylor not want to have a family with him? It always bothered him so, but the one time, the one time that she was not that conscious, he ended up getting her pregnant. And he was going to take more than full responsibility for it. "I admit that it is my fault, Honey. And I am not denying it," he pressed though still not apologizing. He knew he should apologize, but he didn't want to. He wanted the child. He wanted a family. And as much as his fiancee was mad, he was not apologizing for something he thought was a blessing. "But please be rational enough to at least let me live," the former Hufflepuff pleaded seriously and though it may sound like some joke, he was pretty serious about it. He did not want to die or be injured very gravely enough to lead to death. And while he knew that Taylor would not kill him, what if he let himself get hurt and it was grave? Now that was just stupid. "I know I shouldn't have and I'm sorry for getting you riled up like this," he said from behind the couch as he now stood properly. Well, if he was going to tell her something as important as apologizing, then he might as well stand his ground. He might as well not act like a coward hiding behind the couch for all he was worth. "But I don't regret it Taylor," he said with such finality that surprised even himself.

"But f**k, you cannot say that I did not completely think this through. Or maybe you could say I did," Conan said before his fiance could even accuse of him not thinking about this. Well, of course he thought about it. He was not that much of an idiot. He knew the consequences. He knew the possibilities. D*mn, he even researched about it at some point before he and Taylor had their first time! He knew what she could go through. But the most he was sure about right now, was that he wouldn't leave her. And that she wasn't the only one who's terrified. "I know you are scared but I am too! And I am not just scared that you might kill me right here right now or because you'll leave me. I am scared because I could lose you," he exasperated as he felt his heart thumping wildly in his chest. And it wasn't because of some silly *ss feeling. It was because he admitted he was scared, one which he rarely did, but this was Taylor. And though she was on the verge of killing him right now and he should be the brave one right now, he truly was just as scared as she was if not more. "Don't you think that is terrifying for me?!" he asked her seriously. But as far as his fear went, he also knew other things and he was sure of those things. He knew what his desires, and he will make sure that his fiancee knows it too. "But I know what I want Taylor," the former Hufflepuff was not normally like this with Taylor. Serious. But if it would help her understand him, then so be it. "I want you. I want a family. I want a family with you."

Conan tried to understand what was getting her this upset and if he said that he totally didn't get it, then he be really lying. Cause honestly, he knew what he was getting himself into. He'd have to make her understand. He'd have to make her face those fears and help her get through them. That was going to be his job. And right now, the first fear he had to take away from her was her fear of him leaving her or anything else that happened with Ai. "If you're scared that you're gonna end up sh*t like my sister, then don't you think I would have left you the moment you screamed bloody murder," Conan reasoned out. Well, it was true. Jeremiah Raven had left his sister and despite knowing that his sister carried his child, he still stayed with that Nightray b**ch. How about him? Where was he right now? He was still in their house despite the life-threatening things that had been thrown at him. "But I am here and trying to face your wrath as best as I can and calming you down when I could've left the moment you thought of me as lower or nothing better than Raven," the Hufflepuff said though there was not a hint of anger in his voice. Only sadness perhaps, and hurt. He was definitely pained knowing that Taylor could have thought that she'd end up like Ai did. Conan was different from Jeremiah. Because there was a huge difference between the former Hufflepuff and the former Gryffindor. Jeremiah did not love or care enough about Ai to stay. But Conan did. He loved Taylor and though she may have forgotten that right now, he would make sure that she'd remember it. And he was willing to prove it to her with all he was worth.
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[Taylor Blare-Edogawa]

Taylor wasn't sure what emotion she felt the most. Certainly there were a large number of them running around in her head. Anger, sadness, betrayal, hurt, confusion. She wasn't sure a person could even feel so much emotion before, obviously she was wrong, or she was an alien, either way, it was terribly unpleasant. She didn't know what she wanted to do more; bash Conan's head in with a pan, kiss him, cry, or altogether turn around and just leave. With so many options open before her, Taylor could certainly be forgiven for being choosy. However, that did not mean that she was going to let Conan off lightly, this was inexcusable. A betrayal of her trust and certainly a test of faith. If she walked out this door right now, there was nothing he could do about it. Nothing he could do to stop her. Oh, she had no doubt that he would try, of course he would, she'd be rather disappointed and hurt if he didn't, but at the same time, she didn't want him to stop her either, so he would be doomed by her either way. This was how breakups happened. A guy got himself into trouble and the girl wouldn't leave him room to move. Either decision he made would be permanent and make sure that he was as uncomfortable as possible. He would suffer and honestly, though that was wrong, right now, it was all she wanted. She decided that she did not like this feeling much at all. It made her feel like she owed Conan something, which she didn't, because all of this was his fault and wouldn't have happened had he not been such an ass about it all. This was definitely something that, if she was able to forgive, would take an awfully long time. "You better not be denying it! Because I swear to Merlin..." Not that there was really any way from him to deny it. It was all here in front of them. He'd admitted to it!

Taylor did not want to listen to him right now. What he had done was stupid. She turned her back on him, trying to ignore him as he spoke, but he wasn't really doing much to let that happen. "Riled up!?" She hissed, turning back towards her fiancée as he kept speaking. Didn't he know when to shut up? Was he doing this on purpose just to hurt her? Did he want her to leave? "I am not riled up! This is not me riled up! I am pissed off, Conan! Not 'riled up'! I detest you right now, I detest what you did, I detest this pregnancy!" He wanted her to say something right? That's what he wanted? He didn't want her to seethe in quiet hatred on her own did he? Sharing was caring as they often said in the movies and the books and every other bloody medium she'd gotten her hands on, but was it really true? "You should regret it. You should, because if you don't let me fix this, you've lost me. I f*cking mean it." Was she serious? She didn't know. She'd never thought of termination before, in fact she despised it. This was why she was so meticulous in her checks, so sure of her counts, making extra certain, so that something like this wouldn't happen. She would make a terrible mother, she knew it. She wasn't made for the nurturing side. She would hate it, her child would hate it and it probably wouldn't even be raised properly. Not to mention her Quidditch career that just went down the drain. She couldn't play if she was pregnant and she only just joined the team! How was she supposed to prove her dedication if she was leaving straight away to have a baby. It was impossible!

"Had you no thoughts of me?!" She asked, hugging herself out of anger and sadness. "Didn't you stop to think for one second what this might do to me? What it might make me feel?" What was she even feeling. So many things all at once. She was getting a headache. This was all just too much to handle right now. She had other things she had to do. Appointments to make, bills to pay, clothes to pack because she was moving out. She was not going to stand for this poop. "You can't have been too worried Conan. If you were really all that worried you wouldn't have tried to trick me! Do you know how wrong this is!" She screamed, using her wand to smash one of the windows behind Conan. She twisted her hands into her hair. "I can't have this baby Conan! I just can't! You knew that, you knew and you didn't care! Why didn't you say something earlier! I never would have agreed to marry you had I known and you could have gone and had a child with any number of people!" What about that Jane girl or whatever her name was. He was dating her before Taylor right? Maybe he could get into contact with her, surely she would be a fine mother. "I don't want a family!" Was she lying, was she truthful? Who even knew anymore because she certainly didn't. These things were becoming more difficult to understand as their fight went on. Taylor really needed to lie down. Maybe after she strangled Conan she could go and lie down for a while. Maybe she would feel better after all of this was finished. She would go and end the source her pain and then she would be as happy as Larry, happier even!

Her nostrils flared once again as she realised that he still hadn't stopped talking. What was he doing?! Why didn't he just shut the hell up and leave?! Taylor glared at him and sent a book flying in his direction, skirting off of his temple. That had to have hurt, but Taylor didn't care, not one bit. "YOU THINK YOU AREN'T LIKE JEREMIAH!?" Was he nuts? That was exactly what had happened to Ai. She lets her guard down for five seconds and bang, she's pregnant. True enough Conan had not left her yet and probably wouldn't, but she would be miserable, Conan would be miserable, the whole damn family would be miserable. "This is Jeremiah Raven exactly, Conan, if you can't see it, then there is more of a problem here then I originally thought!" Sinking to the ground and bringing her knees up to her chest, Taylor laid her wand to the side. If she touched it now there was really no telling what she was going to do to Conan. "I will not have this baby, Conan. You can't make me."
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[Conan Edogawa]

As their argument continued, Conan could not help but be washed with confusion. He knew how thin the line he was standing on. One wrong move, one wrong step, one wrong word would cause him to lose Taylor forever. And frankly, he didn't think he'd be able to handle losing her another time. The last time they had separated, it had left Conan broken. Well, probably more than broken since he was stupid enough to enter Borely Mansion at the time. He hadn't even been fazed then, thinking that he had nothing to lose if he entered, that nobody would care if he was to lose himself inside that mansion. After all, his parents were dead, his relationship with Ai had gone down the drain and he and Taylor had broken up. Taylor was all he had for the past seven years of his life, and if he were to lose her a second time, he wouldn't know what to do. But he was right now facing the facts. This was his fault. He had tricked her by taking a risk and that was something he would not deny and he would not regret. But he would not fail to admit that this situation was just as painful to him as it was to her. Well, they might have various degrees for the pain they were feeling and certainly different reasons, but as sure as the fact that the Earth goes around the f**king sun, the pain was there.

Conan was out of words. Well, not really. It was just that, he knew that at this point, nothing was going through his angry fiancee's wrath. They couldn't talk about this properly if she was seething and was on the verge of plunging a knife into his head really. He had three options. One, he could continue to have this verbal argument with her. Two, he could remain silent for a bit and let her calm down even just by a teeny-tiny percentage. And three, he could go with his most drastic option: all-or-nothing. And that was something he would rather keep for a very, very, very dangerous or ecstatic situation. After all, he'd rather hold a surprise, not-so-sudden wedding when his fiancee is calm and not out for blood. His blood to be exact. And though he was quite adamant on keeping silent for a few minutes while he let Taylor wash out her rage on him, one of her accusations towards him had cut like a knife. Did she seriously think of him that way? That he would have a family with just any girl? That he wanted to have any other? He was sure of himself and he was sure that Taylor was the only one he wanted to be with. That she was the only one he wanted to have a child with. That she was the only one he wanted to have a family with. And it pained him that she could not see that. He couldn't fully blame her though. Now that he thought about it, it was probably him that caused her to think like that anyway. Lost in his thought, Conan had not noticed the book that was aimed right at him, which hit him straight on and caused him to stumble a little though he chose to remain silent for a few more moments.

"I don't want to have a child or have a family with anyone else. I wanted it cause it was you," Conan said softly a few moments after his fiancee had resigned to sink to the ground. She looked vulnerable and it had been ages since Conan last saw her like this. And frankly, he was mad at himself for causing her to be like this. After all, when he had seen her like this, the time of her parents' recent death, he had told himself that he'd do all that he can to never see her like this again. And he'd been successful, until now. And it was all his fault. "I'm a good-for-nothing *ssh*le and probably a brat that can't accept that I'm like Raven, but for what it's worth, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I made you feel like this, that you think that you'll become like Ai. I never wanted you to think that you'll end up like her. I'm sorry that I took the risk," the former Hufflepuff said as he started to move from his original place, making small strides towards the former Gryffindor. Conan knew what his sister was going through, he had seen what happened to her. Her pregnancy in school and how Raven had thrown her away like dump for that f**king Gryffindor Nightray. How betrayed his sister felt which caused danger to her life and his nephew's. And Conan was firm on his decision that Taylor would not go through that. She was hurt now and it was his fault, and that was as far as he was going to go. "But I'm not leaving you. Not now, not ever. I know I messed up and I don't know how you want me to fix it right now, but at least, let me try," the young Hufflepuff continued to speak at the risk of infuriating the woman in front of him as he knelt in front of her. He didn't know if this would be safe, but still he had to take the chance. With an inaudible gulp, and an utter fear he knew he had to somehow get rid off, he took her hand and held it, "You may not have a reason to trust me now. Honestly, you can kill me right now, just please don't doubt me. I know I'm an idiot, *ssh*le, jack*ss, b**tard, f**ker and any other good-for-nothing name, but I do love you, Taylor." Conan waited and held his breath. He was scared and terrified and he knew nothing else to do but wait. And that was probably the longest wait he had endured.
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