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[Felix Layton]

"Can I talk to you?" Felix inadvertently had just invited both Lilith and Eoghan to his conversation although given how often they were together it was hard to speak to one without the other at times. After speaking to Nia, Felix had come down to the Great Hall in the hopes of finding one of his best friends at the Ravenclaw table having lunch, and sure enough had stumbled on the pair of them. Get one get one free?

After he'd convinced them to step outside, Felix was mingling around in the entrance hall, clearly agitated. This wasn't normal for him and frankly he needed to something if he wanted to shake this feeling off. Lilith would know what to do. "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your lunch," he told the pair once they'd left the Great Hall. Sure he could have also spoken to Susie but Felix thought she would have teased him, and Tori? Well that would just have been awkward.

 

[Lilith Ilves]

Lilith had already been mostly done with her lunch, just reading up on one of her fantasy books because she for once had time to spare. Having Felix come and get both her and her boyfriend for what seemed like a serious conversation had not been on the Ravenclaws bingo card, but she was a bit worried for the Gryffindor. He seemed more bothered by something than he usually did. Felix had only ever seemed so easy going and unbothered by most things, well apart from some instances in their first few years but that was in the past.

Furrowing her brows Lilith shook her head. "No that's alright," she reassured her friend then looked around. "Here, let's sit down." She suggested, pulling her boyfriend to sit down with her before looking to Felix again. "Is everything okay? You seem.... off?" She wasn't sure how to put it but she was keen to help if she could.

 

[Eoghan Blyth]

Following the pair out the Great Hall, Eoghan immediately felt like the third wheel in this relationship. Maybe it was because he knew what Felix had tried to do last year. He followed Lilith's lead, taking a seat on the stairs outside the Great Hall, and listened to the Gryffindor, wondering what it was that he seemed to want to talk to them so desperately about.

 

[Felix Layton]

Felix didn't know if he wanted to sit down, he had too much adrenaline running around his body. "Okay so," he glanced in Eoghan's directly, trying not to be put off by his cold and harsh glare. "You.. know me," Mervyn he didn't really know to explain this, he realised. "After everything with Esme, I didn't want that again." He had come to realise he had nothing against the Gryffindor, only that they should never have really been together. It was two years with no foundation, not to mention the lack of communication between them. Felix had plonked himself on the step but was resisting the urge to stand up again, to pace. "It was going, very well. I mean, I talk to a lot of people," he didn't want to brag, but he was good at talking to the girls. He wondered whether it was because he didn't come off as intense that it seemed to work best. Anything else however and he was at a loss. He peered back at the two Ravenclaws, "How did you two.. I mean. When you two knew that you liked each other. How do you know that it's not one sided?"

 

[Lilith Ilves]

Lilith kept looking at Felix but she could sense the tension between the two boys' stares. Ignoring it however she leaned into Eoghan's side as she listened, trying not to make a comment about yes she knew him. Not a time for jokes, the poor boy seemed so serious over whatever he was about to unload on them. Word by word he got it out, or well he got something out. it seemed as though Felix had a crush on someone. Glancing at her boyfriend Lilith smiled a little before turning back to Felix, mulling over her words before speaking.

"We started off as friends, well before we were friends I got the impression Eoghan didn't particularly enjoy or want my company." The memory of that day at the lake and how he'd pushed her friendship away was still fresh, but through it all they'd found a way to become best friends and eventually more. "I didn't let it bother me though. I was persistent and refused to give up on him. Determined to be his best friend, before you knew it we spent all our time together." She wasn't going to claim to be an expert, but things had worked out for the couple in their own way but it'd taken a lot of treading unknown waters to get to the point they were at. Taking Eoghan's hand into her own she used her other hand to play with the sleeve of his robes while talking. "Eventually both of us realized it was more than friendship but you need to be open about how you feel I suppose. I think both of us thought it was one sided at first and we were scared to even bring it up, but once we did it just turned out it wasn't just one sided on either side." She tried to explain some of it, not completely sure what Felix needed from her in the moment so she went with honesty. "Is there... do you like someone?" It was obvious he did, but confirmation couldn't hurt.

 

[Felix Layton]

Felix listened intently to the story Lilith told. It wasn't that Felix hadn't heard it before, only perhaps this time he was fully paying attention, hearing details that previously he may have overlooked. He was friends with Nia, wasn't he? That had to be a good start. His heart sunk a little though when Lilith went on to say he would have to be open with her. That was the one thing he was convinced he couldn't do. Felix dropped his head, still feeling conflicted. "I think so," he nodded to Lilith. It was strange to admit out loud and in truth he wasn't even sure if it was a good thing or something he wanted. "Maybe, it will go away though?" No, he wasn't sure he wanted that either.

Felix looked at Eoghan, the boy who if he had to place money on anyone not being able to be open, it would have been him. Was Eoghan even better at talking about things than he was? The Gryffindor had considered himself much more charismatic than the blonde, but perhaps that didn't matter at all if the things he actually needed to talk about couldn't make their way to the surface. He wasn't sure that tagging around with Nia would even be what she wanted. Like him, she was happy enough mingling with everyone around her. "There have been others, even now.." Felix shrugged, "but they're not her." What was this power she suddenly had over him?

 

[Eoghan Blyth]

Eoghan squeezed Lilith's hand, enjoying the sensation of her fingers against his skin. They'd come along way since the confusion of their first year, changed as people too probably. "It won't go away," The fourth year spoke up, not letting go of Lilith's hand. He knew he wasn't the best at expressing himself either, but he was still able to do what needed to be done when the time came. "You're obsessed, Felix." Eoghan explained, "It's lust, not love." Perhaps Felix had so far had an easy path of things when it came to those he spoke to, because to him this just sounded like the beginning of a crush. Whether that was out of desperation or genuine appreciation would show itself in time.

"You're obsessed with the idea that currently they're not yours. That somehow you might be able to do something to come out successful. What is it you really want though? To call them yours, or for them to be happy?" It had played a large part in his realization that above all he just wanted Lilith to be happy, regardless of whether that meant he was in her life or not. "Say they notice you, you become a couple. Does that make you happy? What happens when they want you to do something outside of your comfort zone? Would you do that for them too?" Eoghan had gone to a number of parties just because he knew it would have made Lili happy. "You don't get to know whether this is someone for you until you put yourself through the hardships. You don't just get to be in a relationship with someone and call it love until you've proved it. Maybe they are the one for you, maybe they're not. But you don't know that until the obsession is overtaken by the reality that this is someone you care for, day in, day out."

 

[Lilith Ilves]

Lilith tilted her head when Felix said maybe it'll go away. She doubted it. Not when it had the boy so worked up over it. She didn't say anything because Eoghan began speaking, instead she just glanced his way head still tilted. She knew it wasn't easy for him to talk about his feelings openly with others, far less so with Felix probably. Feeling a sense of pride Lilith smiled as she listened to him talk and held his hand just a little tighter. He had a point.

"He's got a point. He has done a lot of things with and for me, even though they have been out of his comfort zone." When Eoghan had asked her what she wanted of him it'd been a simple answer for her. She'd wanted him in her life in any way, shape or form and she wanted what was best for him, not what might have been or felt best for her. "I mean sure you don't have to know right now if you want to spend the rest of your life with them but you owe it to both you and them to consider why is it her? Is it because she's convenient or because she's not yours or is there something more to it, you know?" She'd seen the boy flirt it up with multiple girls, even been one he'd tried to flirt with. "Let's start from, what do you mean by there's other but they aren't her?" The way he had put emphasis on the word her meant there had to be something about her that made his brain tick in some way.

 

[Felix Layton]

Felix felt as though Eoghan was slapping him across the face. Not just because he was basically saying the way he felt about Nia wasn't real, but also that the only way to find out if it was was by becoming someone he wasn't. He was glad Lilith was there too, to reword what the Ravenclaw had otherwise said, it made more sense coming form his friend. "It's not that she's a convenience," in fact in some ways she could have been seen as the opposite. "It's, what she's like to be around," Felix was suddenly aware that giving away too many details would make it obvious who he was talking about. He ran both hands through his hair, and wondered whether talking about it was only going to make it harder.

He was looking at the floor as Lilith asked him another question, and he took a moment before answering. "When Cassie was around, we would joke about a lot of things, but that's all it ever was. I don't think she cared so much about me as much as we both found a way to not be lonely," he admitted quietly. "With Tori, she's one of my best friends, I trust her, but I don't seek her out when something happens. Christa is sweet, I think she admires me. Peregrine is smart, Tess is bubbly and Rosalind is sassy," or at least he thought so, given he'd only spoken to the latter once. "But Nia is different. I know her through Finley which means I've already known her for years and she's gotten pretty close to Amortentia. When you look at her she's energetic, has some really good ideas and is always down to try something new, but I think there's a part of her that not many people see." Felix continued, "I don't think many people see it. In a way she reminds me of myself although I can't really pinpoint why. She told me how she wants to help people with potions. Like my mum used to do," Felix had never paid too much focus into what Olive had done, he'd never known her. He couldn't deny though that there seemed to be some kind of pull towards Nia, as though these things were happening for a reason.

"I don't think I can be who she would want me to be. I don't think I can be who anyone would want me to be," he told them both quietly, still not looking at either of them properly. "But I feel like there's something more with her that I've never experienced before, like our paths keep crossing on purpose or something," Didn't the Ravenclaw's believe in fate or something? Surely they'd know what he meant. "And as much as I want to keep my distance because I know I won't be good for her, I think it's going to be hard to let her go."

 

[Lilith Ilves]

Lilith listened how Felix described the different girls he'd chatted up. She felt herself grow uncomfortable however at the mention of last years transfer Cassandra. She didn't know the girl herself but she knew she'd made a move on her boyfriend, which just didn't sit right with her and she found herself squeezing Eoghan's hand in an act to find comfort. Trying not to let that part show though she focused on everything else Felix was saying. Then he told who he was talking about and Lilith's head got hit with the image of a shorter third year ball of energy. The Ravenclaw didn't know Mania personally, but she'd ran into her more often than not during the potions club. She could see why Felix felt drawn to her, the girl didn't seem to have issues finding friends which in part made Lili worried for her friend too.

"And honestly you don't have to and you never should feel like you had to. It is enough to be yourself and I think if she were to like you she wouldn't want you to try be someone else for her. There is a difference between doing some things for those you care for and changing yourself completely." Lilith bit the inside of her cheek softly as she thought how to put this. "I have never asked Antares to be anything but himself because that is enough for me, I love him as he is and would never want anything else, but he does try doing things he wouldn't probably without me. It's about finding the middle ground not transfiguring yourself into something you are not." If the constant stolen glances from the girl were anything to go by at the club meetings she at the very least somewhat cared for Felix, it still made Lilith worry.

"I don't want you to think you have to change yourself for someone Felix, you are enough as you are. That's not what friendships or relationships should be, changing the fundamental parts of yourself. Sure you do things for each other, you work on your flaws but you do not have to become someone else completely." She wanted him to know he was enough as he was, there was a reason he was one of her closest friends. "Why do you think you wouldn't be good for her?" She asked, it sounded a lot like what Eoghan had thought on her before. He'd tried to keep his distance because he thought he wasn't good enough for her or that she deserved better.

"What comes to paths crossing on purpose if it feels like its meant to happen, it probably was. The universe works in mysterious ways like that." She knew very well how it felt to feel that pull towards someone, she'd felt it with her own boyfriend from the beginning. "If it helps, I felt the pull with him and its only gotten stronger, not gone away and I haven't had to change myself for it. You won't either." Lilith finished with a warm smile.

 

[Felix Layton]

The idea that Lilith genuinely believed he shouldn't need to change wasn't a perspective he'd thought he'd receive. Of course he needed to change. Things had gone downhill with Esme because he wasn't good enough, not because of their relationship but simply because he didn't have it in him to be open enough about what he wanted. The fourth year was looking up at the pair of them now, thinking about how lucky they were to have found each other in their first year, and how easy they made this whole thing look. Felix couldn't agree though that anyone should have to put up with him the way he currently was. It wouldn't have been fair. Maybe Eoghan and Lilith had won in that respect, but Felix knew long term he was bad news to be with and didn't want Nia to have to suffer for it.

As Lilith asked why he thought he wouldn't be a good fit, why he'd have to change himself, Felix took a big breath. He purposely had put this part of himself to the side, ignoring it for the last few years because it only did more harm than good. For Nia's sake, he did his best to explain, "When Esme and I broke up, I had nothing to say to her. I couldn't explain anything, how I felt, I didn't know how. I couldn't tell her why I felt the way I did and the more I stumbled over it, the more confusing things became," he didn't know if Eoghan struggled with the same thing, but he doubted it. "It.. became easier to not talk about things of myself to other people. When I spoke to Tori, it was about her. With Cassie, we.. didn't really talk about anything serious," that was always the way and it was how Felix liked it. "I don't even know half the time what I'm feeling, so I can't even begin to try to tell it to someone else. That makes them sad," and Felix didn't want Nia to feel like he couldn't talk to him, not if he wanted to do things properly.

"Talking about me, doesn't feel natural." Lilith wasn't here to be a councilor and he didn't want to put that added pressure on her either, but he could only tell her what he was sure of. "I can do the jokes, I can try to help students out with problems around the school and I want to be a voice for others, but talking about myself? There's no point," It was sadder for even himself when he said it out loud. Perhaps there was more to it when he said he felt invisible during his first year. "I don't know how. I don't know what I feel, and Nia doesn't deserve to be with someone who can only be half a person to her."

 

[Eoghan Blyth]

Eoghan was leaving the talking to Lilith, she was the better one at that. At the mention of Cassie he felt Lilith's hand tighten around his own, and he moved his free hand to drape around her lower back. She had nothing to fear from that Gryffindor at the time nor anything to fear from anyone else around them. It was unfortunate to hear that Felix had been on the end of her attention though, Eoghan knew what she could have been like. Perhaps Felix really was just lonely.

 

[Lilith Ilves]

It made Lilith sad to listen to Felix talk about himself that way. Sure he was voicing that he didn't like being open about himself but to her it sounded like he had an underlying thought that he thought he was incapable or undeserving of being open. She tried not react to the name Cassie, instead just glanced Eoghan's way suddenly feeling like she was maybe being cruel to him. What Cassie had done with Eoghan wasn't much different from what Felix had tried to and here she was being friends with the boy anyways but the mere mention of Cassie made her uncomfortable, but then again it was uncomfortable because what she'd tried to do and what it'd meant for their relationship. No it was uncomfortable because she hated how rude the girl had been and didn't like her at all. There was no point in being conflicted about that right now though, she'd talk with Eoghan about it later.

"See I'd like to beg to differ there Felix," Lilith said as the Gryffindor said how didn't know how he felt so how was he supposed to tell it to someone else. "You are talking to us, you are telling us how you feel right now and that has to count for something." She pointed out. "You give yourself way too little credit Felix," Yeah she was telling him how it was. He spoke down on himself and for what, he was doing the exact thing he seemed to think himself incapable of. "You aren't half a person, don't talk down on yourself please." One of these days she was going to give the Gryffindor the biggest hug he'd ever received but first she wanted to finish the conversation. "You already talk about her in a way that says a lot, you already show wanting to better yourself for her, it doesn't mean changing. It doesn't mean you aren't enough as you are. It means taking it slowly and if its what you need come talk to me whenever about it, I'll give you another perspective." If she could she would engrave it to his brain that he was enough as he was because he seemed dead set on the idea of being someone else and changing himself.

 

[Felix Layton]

The Gryffindor hadn't realised it, but he supposed it was true. He was being more open with Lilith than he ever had been before, and even if it made him uncomfortable it was a start. This was the reason he'd come to Lilith, that he trusted that even if she didn't have the answers, she at least knew how to lay out thoughts in a practical manner. The way that Lilith spoke about him gave him confidence that maybe not everyone saw him the way he saw himself. Did Nia?

"Are you saying, I should act on this?" Felix asked, still not entirely sure whether he should have left Nia to find someone better or not. "I can try to be her friend, maybe even her best friend. That worked for you right? Maybe she'll see that I like her more than.. well more than I usually like people," Felix admitted. "I don't want to lose her, or see her with someone else. I don't know if that's selfish but I think it would suck if I didn't try, you know?" He hoped he was making sense.

 

[Lilith Ilves]

Lilith let out a sigh of relief as Felix seemed to have stopped talking down on himself. She didn't like hearing people do that anyways but far less so when it was someone she cared about. Tilting her head she considered her words before speaking again. "I'm saying maybe don't force anything, but if she really is someone you want to be with not just because you want to be with someone I'd say its worth a shot." If that even made sense, she hoped so. "I think you'll regret it if you don't even try." He was speaking about her in a way that said he definitely would regret it. "Can I give you a hug?" She asked, not wanting to ambush him but she felt like she needed to give him a hug right now.

 

[Felix Layton]

Considering that Felix hadn't wanted to be with anyone for two years, and it wasn't due to the lack of option, the fourth year was pretty convinced that the way he felt about Nia was different to the others. Maybe in some ways, it always had been. The small glances, the comments, the teasing, maybe there was more to it that Felix had realised. If he had to avoid her specifically not to see her so often, what would happen when he let things run their natural course? He nodded at the Ravenclaw's words, moving from his position on the steps to wrap his arms around Lilith, "Thank you," he meant it. He knew he'd been an ass to Lilith in the past too, and to Eoghan as a result. If he wanted to help people in the future he needed to start with those closest to him.

 

[Lilith Ilves]

Lilith reached up to hug her friend, glad he'd taken it. "It's alright, no problem." She told him squeezing his shoulders a little tighter. "I'm glad you came to us and I hope we were able to help, even if just a little bit." She said as she finally let the Gryffindor go. "And like I said if at any point you need to feel free to come talk to me about this or anything at all. You are my friend and I want to be there for you the way you want to be there for others. Its okay to let others be there for you." She'd had to learn it too, to let others be there for her.

 

[Eoghan Blyth]

Eoghan smiled.