Closed I Keep On Believing

[Harper Alston]

It was time for Harper to admit that she needed a little extra help with her animagus lessons. After the Potions class on Felix Felicis, Harper had set aside her vial of liquid luck, intent on saving it for the latter stages of her training. That seemed to be when accidents were most likely to happen. The last thing Harper wanted was to end up in one of Professor Summers' lectures as an example of animagus training gone horribly wrong. But after a year and a half of training with no visible signs of progress, Harper was starting to rethink her plan. Maybe she needed some luck now.

As had become tradition before every lesson, Harper withdrew the vial and peered at the golden potion. She glanced at the closed door to the Transfiguration classroom and then back at the potion before making up her mind. Today was the day. She uncorked the potion and downed it in one gulp. Almost immediately, a warm feeling spread through her chest, calming her nerves. She had been right; today was the perfect day to use the potion. Seized with this conviction, Harper pushed open the door and headed straight for Professor Summers' office. She was a little early and normally she would have waited and knocked, but she was sure this would be fine. "Professor Summers! Hi!" she greeted enthusiastically, her voice more chipper than usual. "I know I'm early, but I was wondering if we could go ahead and get started? I think I really have this week's reading down, and I'm ready to start practicing." Harper always did the reading — and she usually did understand it — but for the first time in a long time, she felt confident she could transform theory into reality.

 

[Aeon Summers]

Professor Summers had been busy prepping an outline for the day's training session before Harper arrived, which he'd handily clipped together with some more useful reading material. Animagi training was a long and grueling process, and he didn't miss his own training sessions as a student. It was difficult to find the patience for, which is why he supposed so few people made it through the course, though he'd been lucky to have other people to train with and help stay motivated. Some friendly competition, depending on who you asked. The man set down his quill, a sudden chill pervading his office space, and motioned with his wand to ignite the fireplace to help warm the place up. It was strange to be this cold, particularly since Summer was not yet over, but he rationalised it might have been a result of someone practicing atmospheric charms.

Shrugging it off, Aeon resumed his work, barely managing to lift his quill before the door opened, shifting the interior pressure and blowing the papers he'd meticulously put together right into the recently ignited fire. He cursed under his breath. How unlucky. "Harper! I wasn't expecting you yet." He recovered, putting on a smile. He paused at her request, giving it consideration. He supposed he no longer had anything on hand to give her, and she was far enough into her training. He was sure he'd managed some ears and paws by this time into his fifth year. "Hmm. You've got the confidence. If you really think you're ready, then we can give it a go. Just remember, it's not easy, and it's not like any transfiguration you've done before. Like you've read, you need to visualise it clearly, but you must also open your mind and let it come to you naturally. You have to be sure the image you see when you attempt the spell is from your subconscious, not your conscious choice. It's...confusing, yes, but you'll eventually see what I mean." He said. He stood up from his seat and moved back his desk to clear some space, lest he be surprised his student suddenly transforming into a whole bear, or a rhinocerous. "I'm right here to help you if anything happens. Don't waste any of your focus on what could go wrong, it's nothing we can't undo."​

 

[Harper Alston]

The crackling of flames caught Harper's attention, and she smiled when she realized Professor Summers had lit the fireplace. How cozy. And somehow, despite it still being summer, the fire hadn't made the room unbearably hot. Everything just felt right. She waited patiently as Professor Summer considered her request, somehow knowing that things would work out no matter what he decided. If they did more theory today, then it would be because the Felix Felicis had decided that spending more time on theory was necessary to advancing her training. While Harper had never put much stock in fate, destiny or similar concepts, something had made her implicitly trust this potion and wherever it was taking her.

Thankfully, Professor Summers seemed to agree that she was ready. Harper listened carefully to his instructions. "Open my mind, listen to my subconscious, visualize it clearly," she repeated. "Got it." They were reminders that she'd read many times before, but this time, hearing Professor Summers speak them out loud, they seemed to sparkle with possibility. She took a step back and closed her eyes, trying to relax her muscles as she cleared her mind. Professor Summers' reassurances weren't necessary. Somehow, Harper knew things were going to be fine.

For a few moments, Harper just stood still, trying to concentrate her thoughts on her body, on her being. She had done some reading on meditation, and it was to these techniques that she turned. Knowing her animal form would require knowing herself. As Harper allowed her thoughts to wander, a hazy silhouette started to take shape in her mind. At the same time, a sudden feeling of weightlessness rushed through her, causing her to gasp and open her eyes. It took a second for Harper to get her bearings. She glanced down, a bit disappointed to see that she was still completely human. "Sorry, I... I felt something. Like... It was like the feeling you get when you suddenly dive down on a broom," she said, though that wasn't completely accurate. It had felt a lot more unrestrained than that. "I think I saw something, but I couldn't make out the details." Already, the image was fading from memory, like a dream. She paused. "Should I be concentrating on transfiguring a certain body part? Or should I focus more on the image?"

 

[Aeon Summers]

Aeon offered Harper a small thumbs up when she said she'd got it. "You got this." He reaffirmed, sitting back with his wand between his hands in case, merlin forbid, anything went wrong. There were a few quiet moments of nothing, and he waited with bated breath, until she gasped and spoke again. He sat up straighter, but she appeared fine. "Or the sensation of falling, right as you're about to fall asleep?" He queried. He'd not been much of a flyer since he was younger, so he'd not had to dive suddenly in quite some time. "This is good! You need to commit and stay focused, let that feeling take you with it instead of fighting it. Concentrate on the image as a whole, only focus on the individual parts when you can make out details. If you feel a change anywhere, then relax, try not to tense up or lose focus."​

 

[Harper Alston]

Harper hesitated, trying to replay the moment. The image had already slipped away, but she could distinctly remember the feeling, a wild thrill that had felt natural despite its unfamiliarity. "Kind of. But it wasn't scary." It had been startling, and it had been new, but it hadn't been scary. Maybe that was because of the Felix Felicis running through her veins, calming her nerves. She nodded at Professor Summers' instructions. A lot of this process reminded her of scrying — the opening of the mind, the visualization. Harper had started her training thinking that learning to become an animagus would mean learning to control her body. But she was quickly realizing that the process was much more mental than physical.

Taking a deep breath, Harper closed her eyes. She felt strangely calm. Even if she couldn't remember what she'd seen during her last attempt, she knew she had seen something, and after months of little progress, that felt like everything. This time, when the weightlessness hit, Harper surrendered herself to the feeling. Instantly her vision was flooded with blue, pale and wistful, the colour of the sky before dawn. A lone bird appeared, and as it flew closer, Harper realized she was looking at herself. She tried to concentrate on the details, but it was like holding water in her hands, and she knew she only had seconds before everything spilled away. So Harper acted on instinct, trying to channel that weightless thrill humming in her chest. The skin of her arm prickled, and she finally opened her eyes. "Oh my god." There, blooming from her right forearm, were little tufts of blonde and brown feathers.

 

[Aeon Summers]

All Aeon could do was sit back and wait while Harper tried again. He had to ignore his own nerves - in fact, he seemed to be more nervous about the situation than his own student was. Despite how much he'd done to try and teach aspiring animagi, ultimately the success was up to them, and he was powerless to do anything but hope he'd prepared them enough. There was always that fear that one day, they'd manage something completely irreversible.

Aeon didn't immediately notice the feathers sprouting on Harper's arm. He'd been focused on her expression, in case there was any indication something wasn't right. His attention was drawn to it after she opened her eyes and noticed it herself. "Yes!" He exclaimed with a clap of his hands. This was a good start, as long as she managed to change it back. "Well done! This is perfect. It gives you a chance to practice safely transforming back." He said. If she'd done it wrong, in a way that was irreversible, it was better to transfigure some tufts of feathers than half a wing. "Some kind of bird..." He continued to muse. Feathers narrowed down what she'd turn into by a great deal. "How do you feel about it?" He asked. No one could predict what they'd turn into until it started to happen, and it was interesting to know if people were pleased, or disappointed. That said, he wasn't sure he'd met an animagus who wasn't in some way happy with what they turned out to be. For him, it had always felt right.​

 

[Harper Alston]

Feathers. Harper felt a bit faint as she stared at her arm. All the giddiness from the Felix Felicis had evaporated away, and Professor Summers' exclamation sounded far away in her ears. Her arm trembled as she slowly rotated it, watching the feathers bloom. Strangely enough, this was not the first time Harper had seen her arm covered in feathers. That honor belonged to the time back in first year when she had been tricked into eating a canary cream. Looking at the feathers now, she was reminded of the terror she'd experienced. But it was just that — a memory.

Though Harper's heart was hammering in her chest, she wasn't afraid. She was in control this time. She was, as Professor Summers had said, safe. Whatever happened to her body would be of her own choosing, not someone else's. Harper found that with a bit of concentration, she could make a few more feathers appear and then shrink back. "A bird," she repeated, awe creeping into her voice. "I wonder what kind." She hadn't recognized the species in her vision, and the feathers didn't give much of a hint. But of one thing she was certain — she was not going to be a canary.

"I... I wasn't expecting this," Harper answered honestly. She had known going into the training that she couldn't pick her form, and so she'd tried not to think too much about it. But after completing the assignment about animagus forms back in third year, she had gotten a little preoccupied with the idea of becoming a dolphin or some sort of aquatic creature. "It's kind of a relief to know I'm not going to end up as a slug or a toad or something," she said with a little laugh. Harper watched another feather slowly appear, her expression turning pensive. "But this feels... right," she decided. She glanced back at Professor Summers. "Were you surprised by your form?"