Closed Chasing Fire

“Check under that pillow, by the window.” Lyra suggested as she saw something under the pillow. “Or you can stay like that. I’m enjoying the view.” the blonde said with a laugh as she remained in her nice warm bed. Felix rolled his eyes as he looked up at her. "Lyra." He said, both a warning and a question.“Yes, dear?” the blonde said, too innocently. It was so easy to slip into the easy banter between them.
 
Felix was trying so hard not to fall, but he couldn't help himself. Lyra was just so, Lyra, it was hard to believe they weren't together. "Stop it." He said, turning around, aware of exactly what he was doing and crawling over to the pillow to shift it and try to find his jeans “Stop what? Looking at you? Talking to you?” Lyra asked. "I'm looking for my jeans, Lyra." He said shaking his head. "If you won't help at least you can shush." He said, looking to the ceiling and sighing in exasperation
 
"But I am helping," Lyra protested, knowing that it wasn't exactly true. She tried to hide her smile at his reaction. It moments like this it was almost impossible for her to remember that Felix wasn't hers anymore. Lyra grinned at him as he crawled around on the floor. She really didn't want him to leave, but there was no way to stop him. "Speaking of my game, are you going to go?" she asked. "Yesterday, it was quite distracting have you in the stands, but I liked it."
 
Felix nodded. He couldn't not go. He had to see her. He found his jeans and pulled it out from under the pillow. "Haha, found them." Felix nodded his head as he pulled his jeans on. "I said I would, I'd never lie to you, you know that." He said, but they could both feel the conversation they were having. He had a feeling this was an ending, not a beginning. "I love you Lyra." He said, standing up and walking over to kiss her softly. Their time together had come to an end, hard as it was, yet he still held out hope. "I'll see you later." He didn't know if it was the truth or not, but all he knew was that he needed her to know how much he loved her.
 
Lyra kissed him back because she couldn't say the same. She lied to him on a daily basis when she pretended not to love him. "I love you, too, Felix." she said, placing a hand on his cheek as he leaned in to her. Lyra sighed and nodded her head. "I'll see you later." she said as he walked out the door and away from her. She loved him. That wasn't a lie, but she knew she couldn't be with him. The blonde choked back tears as soon as he was out of her sight. Lyra knew this would destroy him, and she didn't want to do that, but if she kept this going it would only be worse. She had a few hours until she had to be at the field. She quickly got up and got dressed, also finding it difficult to find her clothing. Once she was fully dressed, she apparated away.
 
The game had gone well, Lyra nearly took a bludger to the face, and he'd jumped pretty quickly at that, but as always, her team had her back. He thought she'd looked over at him a couple of times, sadness in her eyes, but he'd chosen, wisely he thought, not to think about it. Once it had finished, he spent a few minutes catching up with Falon, neither of them had the courage to talk about the night before, or what was about to come. Falon invited him to dinner, maybe in some vain attempt to keep Felix from going, but they both knew he had to. He had to see. And so, Felix kept his back straight as he walked, not letting the sinking dread in. He almost hoped that he was wrong, hoped that maybe he was wrong about all of this, but the closer he got to the room, the more he felt that it was just wrong. Opening the door to her empty room, the expected, was the last straw. Felix fell against the archway, breathing deeply, looking at the lone letter on the pillow of the bed. Kiera's letter. It had to be.

The letter shook in his hands, and he read it three or four times before he actually understood what was written. Through the tears he was fighting to keep control of, Felix stared at the words. Had these been with him then, he might have been able to help Lyra, to save her from the pain, yet, he had missed his chance. She had made her choice and though he knew she loved him and that he loved her so very much he shook his head. This letter only served to prove what the universe had been trying to tell him. They just shouldn't be.

Lyra. I'm sorry.

His heart shattered as he held the old letter to his chest, taking a moment to really let himself feel. Then, without knowing where he was going or why, he turned on his heel and apparated away. Because Felix Urie loved Lyra Potter, now, always and forever. And he would take her pain into himself, and he would do whatever she needed him to, because Felix couldn't help but to love the sun.

Dear Felix,

When you came to speak with me about marrying my Lyra, it was not a conversation I took lightly. You see, I knew even then that my time was likely coming to an end, but I still worry about my children that I am leaving behind. I can worry less about Lyra now. I want you to know how much happiness it brings me to know that my daughter has the love of a kind, thoughtful, good man. I’m trusting you, Felix, with Lyra. She is the most precious gift I could give you. Please love her, protect her, support her. I know she will not understand why I did what I’m doing, but help her through it. Don’t let her push you away like I know she will want to do. Lyra loves you so very much, and I am overjoyed to know she has found her person. Be kind to each other, and live everyday loving each other.

With all my love, Kiera
 
Lyra played well but the game had not gone in her favor. She had taken a bludger to the head and finished the game despite the throbbing pain in her skull. After the match, she was cornered by her coach, and he insisted that she go see the team healer to be properly checked out. She sighed internally as she had made up her mind to go back to the hotel room for Felix. She had left her mother's letter there, having retrieved it that morning.

It was several hours later when Lyra finally made it back to the hotel. The healer had taken forever, and suggested that she had a concussion which would only heal with time. It was about three hours before she finally made it back to her room. She pushed open the door slowly, cautiously. She had hoped Felix would wait on her, but as she opened the door, she saw that was in vain. The letter was gone as was her time with Felix. Lyra still hadn't read the letter and now she never would. It belonged to Felix, not her, and it had been cruel to her mother's memory to keep it from him.
 

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