Closed Awaken My Mind

[Harper Alston]

After six years at Hogwarts, Harper had concluded that the Great Lawn was the best study spot at Hogwarts. The Great Hall was a close second, however, and on rainy days like this, there was no better place to be. There were always people around, and while some might have found that distracting, Harper liked having the din of chatter in the background. Plus, it made study breaks more fun since she could almost always count on spotting one of her friends.

That was why Harper decided to stay behind in the Great Hall after having lunch with one of her Hufflepuff friends. Classes had only just started, so she knew she didn't have to study. But it would save her a lot of trouble later in the year once NEWTs were closer. Besides, she liked to regularly brush up on her Transfiguration theory just to make sure she was fully prepared for her animagus lessons. Pushing her plate to the side, Harper started to stack her books on the table. As she did so, she noticed a familiar face nearby. She shot Aine a smile and waved at the girl before returning her attention to her books.

 

[Aine Thompson]

Aine was surprised but not displeased to see Harper at the Hufflepuff table. The older Gryffindor was cool, and Aine appreciated that she was upfront about how hard it was to be new to the whole magic thing. She was reassuring, but not a liar, and Aine respected that a lot. She also knew Harper was studying for NEWTs, so perhaps it was better not to bother her, but as she toyed with a coffee scroll and looked down at her own Transfiguration notes, she couldn't help the questions that popped into her mind.

"Does...does understanding Transfiguration get any easier, when you get to the later years?" Aine blurted, reddening as she covered her mouth. "Ah...sorry, Harper, you don't have to answer that, I'm just thinking out loud," she quickly backtracked, looking down again. She kind of understood the basics of what they were doing...in theory. It was when she pondered the very nature of what they were required to do that she struggled. Like how they could create a mind for an inanimate object, or how they were supposed to cause a rat to think and act like a rabbit, as well as just look like one. The appearance thing she got, it was the very essence of changing one thing into another beyond appearance that she had many questions about, questions the professors seemed to head off before they could be asked.

 

[Harper Alston]

Harper was just starting to dig into a chapter about animate conjurations when Aine spoke up. It took her a second to process the question, and she shook her head slightly as Aine backtracked. "I don't mind," she said, wedging a pencil into her book to mark her place. She mulled the question over for a moment. "I'd say so. But I guess it depends on what exactly you're trying to understand." If Aine wanted to know enough to change a frog into a grasshopper, Harper was confident the Hufflepuff would get there soon. But she suspected Aine's questions ran deeper than that, if only because Harper herself had had lots of questions about magic and how it worked when she was younger. She still did.

"Is there anything in particular that's giving you trouble?" Harper asked in case Aine just needed help clarifying a concept from class. Transfiguration was Harper's favourite subject, and she never minded helping younger students with it. She knew it could be one of the more difficult branches of magic since it possessed an internal logic that the others seemed to lack. But that was why she liked it. It was a little order in the chaos that was magic.

 

[Aine Thompson]

Aine grimaced. She really did want to like Transfiguration, deep down. She had to admit conjuring things seemed really cool. And surprisingly she'd even transfigured a quill into a spoon without thinking too deeply about it beyond 'I need a spoon'. So much for it being a useless trick. But there was just so much about it she couldn't answer, or felt like she wasn't meant to question.

"It's animate to animate...stuff," she admitted. "Like...I kinda get the changing shape thing, we've been doing that all along. But it's the whole, um, mind thing." This was way too deep a question, she knew, but she couldn't help but ask it. "Like, the logistics of giving something life. Or changing its biological makeup. Do you change the way its mind works?" The questions raced out before she could stop them. "Sorry, that was kinda, uh, full on. It feels like we should be able to just...do it."

 

[Harper Alston]

Harper had enjoyed the animate-to-animate transfiguration lectures, but she could understand how someone would find them confusing. The process of transforming a living creature into another was delicate. She listened closely as Aine explained the source of her confusion. As she had suspected, Aine's questions went beyond the course material, almost verging on the philosophical. Harper had to think for a second, not wanting to accidentally mislead the Hufflepuff or give her an incorrect answer.

"Kind of," was the answer Harper settled on. "It depends on the transfiguration. If you turn a rat into a rabbit, it'll start behaving like a rabbit. But with animagi, they'll keep their minds when they transform." She paused. "Their emotions will be less complex in animal form though." Did that count as a transfiguration changing the way the mind worked? Harper wasn't sure. She smiled in understanding. "It's definitely strange to think about. If it makes you feel better, it doesn't hurt animals to get transfigured. I'm not sure they even know what's happening." Of course, that didn't address the root of the issue if you believed that living creatures shouldn't be transfigured in the first place.

 

[Aine Thompson]

Aine gave a rueful smile. She knew she had a tendency to overthink things, and maybe she was reading way too far into it. Surely, without a studied knowledge of a creature, they weren't expected to create an exact realistic duplicate, merely something that could copy simple aspects of a creature. A dog could bark and play fetch, for example. It just felt like something far beyond what they should be doing as third years.

"Sometimes I think I just won't ever get it. You know, the whole magical world thing. It just keeps reminding me it's different." It was like a puzzle to her, each time she thought she had every piece in place the puzzle grew larger. "I think I overthink the needing to assign traits to animals thing. Like, I'm not a, what's it called, entomologist? I dunno what a grasshopper's brain is like." Aine was rambling, and she stopped herself, bashfully. "My friend finds my dilemmas amusing, so maybe my brain is just wrong."

 

[Harper Alston]

Harper shook her head. "I don't think anything's wrong with your brain. Magic is confusing, and oftentimes, there isn't a good explanation for why some things work and others don't. It's not a science," she said almost regretfully. She used to think that things would be easier if only she could understand the rules of magic. But aside from some broad theories and principles, there weren't a lot of concrete rules. "I had a lot of the same questions." Harper decided not to mention that she'd never gotten a satisfactory answer from her professors or textbooks. She did have theories, however.

"You don't need to know what a grasshopper's brain is like to do the transfiguration. You just need to want to create a grasshopper, and magic will fill in minor gaps. Magic generally wants to follow the rules of nature. A grasshopper with a frog's brain is unnatural, so magic will usually avoid that outcome unless you do something really wrong — that's my theory anyways." It was one Harper had developed during her animagus training. She'd once gotten stuck as a half-human, half-bird hybrid after forcing a transfiguration instead of allowing it to come naturally. And now that she was nearing the end of her training, she could feel her body wanting to settle into one form or the other. "Honestly, I think a lot of wizards don't really understand how magic works. At a certain point, you just have to accept that it does." Harper hated saying this. It was so defeatist and went against every ounce of scientific curiosity she possessed. At the same time, she knew from experience that it was possible to lose a lot of time looking for answers that likely didn't exist.

 

[Aine Thompson]

Aine shook her head, giggling a little. "Isn't it weird? Like, when I was a kid I wanted to be able to wave a wand or snap my fingers and just make stuff happen...and now I know magic is real, I feel like I need to question it all and understand it like its some kinda science." Aine gave a small smile, shrugging in mild embarrassment. It wasn't often she felt like a little kid but strangely enough she kind of did. Maybe if she let go more she'd be more comfortable with just letting magic happen. But if she let go, who knew what would happen? A disaster, to be sure.

Harper's theory was interesting, and it did kind of make sense. Her transfigurations had been far from perfect, like disguising one thing as another rather than fully transforming it, but she hadn't really thought about magic and nature being harmonious. She'd been thinking of it more in terms of messing with the natural order. But maybe it wasn't a conflict. Not really. "That makes sense, though. Uh, the nature thing. As much as any of it does." Aine winced. Now she sounded ungrateful, when Harper was busy and had senior year work to do and was answering the questions of meaning of a fourteen year old. "Um, thanks. For, y'know, listening, and not thinking I'm stupid for wanting further, uh, clarity."

 

[Harper Alston]

Harper chuckled. While she wasn't sure she had ever daydreamed about being magical as a kid, she had definitely fantasized about getting superpowers like the ability to fly or breathe underwater. "It doesn't feel like it should be real, does it?" As exciting as it had been to discover that magic was real, it was also a little disconcerting to have your whole conception of the world change in an instant. "I used to wonder, if I was wrong about magic existing, what else was I wrong about?" She'd tried to understand magic, hoping it would help her understand the world.

Harper wasn't sure if Aine completely bought her theory, but she wasn't bothered by the girl's skepticism. It was just that — a theory — since as far as she could tell, wizards were not general practitioners of the scientific process. She was sure Aine would come up with theories of her own as she learned more about magic. "No problem," she said with a warm smile. "I'm always happy to answer questions about transfiguration or anything else." Harper knew Aine had her own set of friends and mentors, but she would gladly serve as an additional resource or sympathetic ear if Aine ever needed one. "Honestly, I think it's kind of weird that wizards don't question magic more. But I guess you kind of take it for granted when you grow up with it."