Closed A Very Cullen Christmas

Briar Rowan-Cullen

Strength in diversity
 
Messages
7,765
OOC First Name
Mia
Blood Status
Unknown
Relationship Status
Married
Sexual Orientation
Dederick
Wand
Briars rowan, 15", with centaur (aspens) tail hair and my werewolf fur
Age
43 (2/2013)
Christmas had always been a family affair in the Cullen household. Usually, it was not as big of an event as it was this year. This year there was her family, and the Ateara’s. She had also invited her adopted daughter’s mum and older brother from Germany. Linden had wanted to invite Casper and Tara had wanted Stan. so with two of the Becketts invited she figured they may as well invite the rest of the family as she didn’t want to force them to split up for the holiday. And then there were her Auror guards who she had invited Charlie had their own family to spend time with. but Callum had said he would come for some of the day.

They had a lamb on the spit and everyone had brought a dish so that she didn’t have that much to do with food. But they were running low on drinks outside she headed back into the kitchen to restock the esky pausing by the window to look out over the paddock where everyone was hanging out enjoying themselves. So many people. Who would have thought five, ten, twenty years ago she would end up here. Where was it where she had lost who she had been, or which decision had been the one that had led her along this path? She wondered where they would be next year. with the election coming up would she be the minister? she hoped not. she had wanted to get her voice heard and being a candidate was the easiest way to do that but she didn't actually want to be the minister and leave her department.
 
Cas was nervous. He didn’t like being in such a large crowd. He didn't know how to act. Was he supposed to keep his distance? His first thought was that he wanted to be hiding under Lindens arm, but he didn't think he could be. He was feeling overwhelmed, so he slipped inside to try and find somewhere to hide. He jumped when he saw the woman standing there, and immediately took a step back, blushing. "M-mrs. Cullen," he stammered, swallowing. "Sorry, I didn't mean to barge in," he apologized. He didn’t know what Lindens mom thought of him, but she scared him even more now that he and Linden were together.
 
Briar turned around when she heard some footsteps and saw Casper entering the kitchen. She smiled at him. ”Casper, please, just call me Briar” she said, she had told him that every time that they had met. But he still insisted on calling her Mrs Cullen, it was almost a running joke between them now. as if he was afraid of her. She knew quite a few people were afraid of her but she had hoped that he knew her well enough to know that she wasn’t as intimidating or scary as her reputation made out.

She shook her head slightly as he apologised for barging in. he really hadn’t been. To be honest she thought of him as a second son and had done since he had spent a summer with them many years ago. ”you aren’t barging in, it isn’t like the house is off limits. and you know you are welcome here any time. I was just getting some more drinks. Were you after anything?” she asked
 
Casper fidgeted, lowering his eyes. "O-oh, no, I'm okay," he offered shyly, twisting his hands. He tried to scramble to think of an excuse. "I was looking for Linden-" He tried, before realizing that was probably a bad idea. His eyes widened and he blushed, looking up at her and away just as quickly. "Not that- I mean- um," he twisted his hands together. "Linden- um- his hoodie, he asked for a hoodie I borrowed, its in my bag," he finally managed, a bit lamely.
 
Briar didn’t know why but cas was acting even more awkward around her today than usual. Looking at her and looking away quickly. what was going on? Had they had some kind of fight while they had been in germany? Since they had gotten back linden had been different especially whenever his name was mentioned. ”I thought Linden was outside with everyone else. If he is not there you could try his room.” she sugested. Maybe he was getting his broom or something. Or maybe cas was just looking for an excuse to be away from everyone for a few minutes. Or maybe just some time inside out of the sun, Whyever linden wanted his hoodie back on a day like today she didn’t know. But boys were boys and teenagers were teenages so what hope would she have of understanding any teenage boy?
 
Casper fidgeted. She'd bought his lie. That was good… He was almost tempted to go, but this was Lindens mother. Cas might still be unsure of Lindens feelings for him, but as far as Cas was concerned… He bit his lip. Wanting to make a good impression, Cas stepped closer to the woman, running a hand through his hair. "I, um… do you need help?" He asked softly, peeking back up at her again. He didn't know why, but he felt like he needed her approval. Her seal of approval. Maybe because he knew how important Lindens' family was to him. Cas wanted to be important too, but he felt like if he wanted a place here he would have to earn it.
 
Briar was slightly supprised when cas stepped closer to her. Sure she thought of him a son but that didn’t mean that the feelings were reciprocated. Not that she wanted them to be. He had his own family. that is very kind of you but I should be able to manage things.” She said. She was about to tell him to go and have fun when she realised she hadn’t actually spoken to him since the big trip. “did you have a good time in germany” she asked. She had only heard a bit of what had happened and seen a few of the pictures linden had taken. Apparently the best part had been the night at a Christmas market though the reasons why that was the best part were vague. Something to do with the music and snow and mulled wine and hot chocolate.
 
Cas rubbed the back of his neck. So much for that idea. He looked up when she asked about the trip. “It was... good,” He offered softly, unsure of what to say exactly that wouldn’t compromise things with Linden. “We saw my cousins’ band,” He offered. They hadn’t seen them play, but still. “Drank a lot. Got some snowflake ornaments.” He told the woman with a shy smile.
 
Briar listened as Casper explained the trip. It sounded like it had been a success on all fronts. ”I am glad you enjoyed it. Linden put a lot of effort into organising it” she said. He had worked so hard last break at the menagerie to earn some money for graduation and she was pretty sure most of it had gone into the trip so she was glad that he had gone himself and that they all had had fun. She listened as he described what that had been up to. “Linden showed me the ornaments. he has his hung up next to his bed." he said. "I don’t know if you were meant to tell me that you drank a lot. But it sounds like you had a good time,” she said chuckling slightly.
 
Cas smiled softly as she talked about Linden. He was surprised at the mention of the snowflake, and couldn't help but smile and blush. ”He does?" he asked, running a hand through his hair and smiling fondly. Thinking about Linden lowered his guard a bit. Cas knew he could try for the rest of his life and he would never deserve Linden. “Oh, nah, we weren’t going to mention the kissing the drinking should be fi-” He spoke without thinking, having looked out the window to see Linden outside with the others. But he heard what he said. Cas stopped mid-sentence, clamping a hand over his mouth. His head snapped back around, his cheeks burning and his eyes wide. His eyes shimmered with tears and he took several quick steps back. “I-i-i-i didn’t- I mean, it- we- i- I’m sorry,” He stammered, lowering his eyes again quickly. He cursed himself out in his mind. There was no way Lindens’ family would ever approve of him.
 
Briar knew she knew that the friendship between linden and Casper was special he didn’t know who else her son would drag the family around the country looking for and it was good to see that this boy appreciated him. She nodded slightly at caspers comment "yeah he does". He had the same look on his face as lin has when he spoke about Casper. Maybe Tara was on to something.

She may not have registered what Casper said next if it wasn’t for his reaction freezing mid-sentence as though he had spilled some secret of the universe. She stopped what she was doing and put down the bottle she was holding. And took half a step towards him. ”Casper. I don’t mind about if you two go drinking you are both adults now so long as you are responsible and stay safe” she said. She wasn’t sure if she should put a hand on his shoulder or around him. The news that the two of them had kissed was not entirely unexpected especially if drinking was involved. But as he backed away she stayed where she was. ”if you don’t want me to have heard that then I didn’t. the same goes as before. You are adults now you do what you want to do long as you are responsible and stay safe. And please try not to break my son’s heart. she said softly making the end bit even softer.
 
Casper wished the earth would open up and swallow him right there. He was nervous, surprised by her reaction but unsure if it was approval or not. He peeked up at her, fear in his eyes, looking away quickly again. "He would break mine first," he offered softly, his heart thundering in his chest. It was true. Linden had shattered Casper's heart almost as often as he'd put it back together. It was a painful cycle, one Cas had never managed to break out of. "You... you aren't mad at me?" He blurted, peeking at the woman nervously.
 
Briar could see that there was more behind Caspers look as he said lin would break his heart first. What did you say to that? She looked at him and he looked at her an almost scared look in his eyes, the way he peeked made him seem so much smaller than he was even though he had a good few inches of height on her. She took another step closer and reached a hand towards him. Laying it gently on his shoulder. ”Casper. I am not mad at you.” She didn’t know what to say. Casper was so shy and she wasn’t ’I think… I don’t know what to say, I am not good at this emotional stuff. And this isn’t a position I have been in before. But there is no one I would trust more with a heart than linden” she said pausing for a few seconds to get her thoughts in line. ”and you are already part of this family. Whatever form that part takes” she finished.
 
Cas almost flinched at Briars touch, but he kept himself in check. Lindens mom wasn't scary. Cas was just a wimp. He hesitated at her words. His eyes teared up as she finished and he took a tiny step back. "i-" he stammered, twisting his hands together nervously. "He loves Lucas,' he offered softly. "He… I know he loves me, but he's in love with Lucas,' Cas managed gently, his voice breaking. He looked almost dejected. 'I… Lucas… is better. Head boy. Seeker. Handsome. I'm just… some lousy moody artist…" he shook his head, taking another small step back. 'he… linden deserves better …' he offered gently.
 
Briar didn't move forward this time when casper stepped back. She let the young man have his space. Letting out a small exhale of a chuckle as he said that he knows linden loved him but he LOVES lucas. “I wouldn't be so sure about that” she said. Maybe he had done, maybe he had only thought he did. But it had often seemed rather one sided with lucas. And he had gotten over him fairly quickly.

At Caspers next rant she shook her head. “you know when i was about your age. Everyone said something similar about Dederick, that he was a moody monster filled with anger and resentment. There was more to him than everyone saw even more than he saw. And have never once felt like i made the wrong choice in wanting to be with him, or that I settled for someone beneath me. He has been the best husband I could have wanted and the best dad wills lin and Ivy, and Tara could ask for. And we have been happy together. We don’t want a fancy life but we have far more here than we would have ever wanted” she said gesturing out of the window at her family and her families family. ”And if i was sixteen again I wouldn't change that choice. What other people tell you you are worth and what you deserve is worth nothing. Only you can know that, what makes you happy and who you want to be with” she said. She looked over to the wall where there was a painting of a forrest. “but if i had to guess or offer my thoughts on what you were worth i would say whoever painted that and has had his paintings raved about in magazines is not just some lousy moody artist, but someone with a huge talent who deserves anything he sets his mind on.” she said. totally contradicting her previous statement.
 
Casper hesitated again as Briar spoke. She sounded so... Motherly. He fidgeted, twisting his hands together and picking at his fingers. "It's just- I just-" he looked down at his shoes. "I... I've been on my own so long," he admitted gently. "I don't... Think his family would approve. And... They're everything to him." He forced himself to be honest. "I... I'm a phase." He shrugged, having no real opinion of himself. "I don't belong anywhere, Mrs Cullen. Especially not here. Or... Or with him," he glanced longingly out of the window, his heart throbbing as Linden laughed at something outside.
 
Briar didn’t know what to do. This wasn’t the first time Casper had spoken to her. But it was the first time he had actually spoken to her. She bit her lip. ”Casper, I can’t speak for my son and I am going to sound like an old woman now. I can’t see the future. I am sure there are witches and wizards that can. you can tell me to shut up if you want. I will let you in on a family secret. I grew up with centaurs as my family They kicked me out when I was eleven because I was a witch, and I didn’t have any family until I was in my fifth year. I also know what it is like to be on your own in the world. If you out of the window. At my family. Most of them were alone and outcasts before we found each other ” she said she wasn’t sure if lin had told Casper that. She had drilled it into her children from an young age that that was not information that should be shared along with the e second family secret of Dederick being a werewolf too but Casper was family.

” But you don’t ever have to worry about the Cullens accepting you. They have chased you around the country. I don’t think a phase would have them doing that. When I say you are always welcome here. I mean it. You and Tara, are both as much a part of this family as you want to be. regardless of what has, is or will happen between you and linden. Also if anyone says you are not enough for anyone or anything, they will have me to answer to, and I can be a bit scary if i want to be” she said. She paused following Caspers gaze out the window. ”anyway. I thought you had a hoodie to return. I am sure you know where to go. should I let lin know that you are looking for him” she said.
 
Cas was surprised when Briar went on to tell him about her life. He'd heard some from Linden, but it was different than her telling him herself. He hadn't expected Lindens mother to let Cas in like that. He listened carefully, wanting to take what she was saying very seriously. He peeked out the window. "For a group of misfits you seem to fit together pretty well," he offered gently, looking back to her.

His eyes widened as she spoke, tears slipping down his face. "What?" He breathed. Casper was used to not belonging anywhere. He thought Linden had forced them into helping when he'd run off, he hadn't thought anyone had actually cared one way or another what happened to him. He was stammering, unsure what to say. She kept talking though, bringing him somewhat back into the moment. He nodded, dragging his sleeves over his eyes. "Okay, Mrs. Cullen," He agreed shakily, sniffling and giving her a shy smile.
 
briar followed caspers gaze out of the window. Ivy and Jackson were chasing Bjorn. linden was rather animatidly talking to madlyn, Willow and Callum seemed to be practising some form of combat technique while Chante, and len watched. she couldn't see Dederick or chayton but they were probably around the corner with the meat, or looking at something in the shed. "Some people are born into a family. others have to build theirs. and I guess we had pieces that fit well together." she said.
once she had finished her ramble she looked as casper and was surprised to see how damp his eyes were and that his cheeks were streaked with salt. she summoned a box of tissues from the other side of the room and offered them to casper. "I'm Sorry. i got carried away. i didnt realise my lecture was that terrible. " she said joking to lighten the mood a little. "you are as much a part of this family as you want to be. no matter what" she summarised in answer to his question. once cas had stopped wiping she put her arms around him. and rubbed his back slightly like she did with her own children if they were feeling sad when they were younger
 
Casper was surprised when Briar hugged him, but he loved it, putting his hands very lightly on her back. He kept his touch light, not wanting to push too far. He let out a soft sigh. "I love him," he admitted softly, feeling like he had to reassure her that he was serious about Linden. "I have for a really long time. He just... never wanted me." He let out a shaky breath. "We're stuck in this... this stupid cycle, he breaks my heart constantly but he... he always puts it back together again. I don't- I'm probably just the placeholder, he'll... he'll most likely move on the moment he finds something better. But I... I just..." His fingers clutched a little bit at her shirt, as he was being brutally honest about his feelings for the first time in a long while. "I've always been alone. I've never belonged anywhere. Even when he's too busy chasing after Lucas or Finn or some other cute boy to be around, he- I need him," He whispered, his voice breaking. "Maybe it's bad, but... but he's so warm," Cas swallowed, hard. "I'm scared... I'm scared that without him, I... I would just... fade away into nothing."
 
Briar felt Caspers arms holding her back. she stroked his hair as he spoke. "I know you do" she said. what else could she say. it was clear that casper loved linden and that linden loved casper =. but for neither ofthem she knew what form that love took. she listened as he continued to talk. trying to find words to say. how could she make her 'son' feel better but not at the expense of her son. "Have you spoken to linden about this?" she asked. "It isn't something that i can really advise on" she said trying to be as diplomatic as she could. she may need as much practice in diplomacy as she could get. "but as far as i can tell he needs you too. I don' think he will leave He put a lot of effort into that trip to Germany for you" she said. "and don't undersell yourself. you are a cute boy too, and you are talented and very kind and sweet, you are not and will never be nothing" she said. loosening her grip slightly in case he wanted to move elsewhere.
 
Casper shook his head when she asked if he'd told Linden. "No," he admitted. He didn't want to let go- Cas was a very cuddly creature, and he'd been starving himself for a long time. But when she loosened her grip, he took it to mean she was done holding him. He backed away, staring at his feet. He hated feeling so vulnerable. He couldn't tell if she meant it or if she was just trying to placate him. Probably the latter. "I, um... I think the trip was more for mom and Tara. He just wanted me along so he wasn't stuck with the girls," he offered softly, twisting his hands shyly. Despite her attempts to reassure him, he didn't quite believe her. He was nothing. He always had been. He felt like he just faded in and out of existence, never more than a shadow in someone elses life. "I- um, I'm sorry," he apologized softly, staring at his shoes and wrapping his arms around himself.
 
Briar shook her head as Casper said that he thought the trip was mainly for him and tara. "no. he started organising it for you last winter just after he found out about your mum, the same time he started fussing after that cat." she said also not long after he had broken up with Lucas but that didn't need to be said, it had been one of the things other than the work at the pet shop that seemed to bring him back to being himself. "he asked tara more recently and she was the one who insisted that he go as well" she said.
as he moved away he curled around himself as though he was using a wound in the chest. and apologised. "you haven't done anything you need to be apologising for. I'm sorry I can't give any more advice. but the two of you really should talk. not telling him is not going to do anything" she said.
 
Casper hesitated. He had been thinking since Linden had told him about it that it was really something for Tara. He peeked up at her, surprise in his eyes. "Really?" He breathed, a blush heating his cheeks. "He's too sweet," he murmured, chewing his lip a bit. He peeked away as she told him he didn't have to apologize. He rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm not good at talking," he told her. "Linden... everything is so black and white to him. He see things so... simply. I don't think he knows what a mess I am." He sighed softly.
 
Briar was surprised that lin hadn't told Casper that he had organised the holiday for him. how else could he have got things so organised from school if It hadn't been at least planned beforehand? "yes really" she said.
Briar Chuckled as Caspers comment and winked "I'll tell you another secret, neither am I" she whispered conspiratorially.
"Of course he doesn't know what a mess you are. of you don't talk to him he has never had reason to not see the world as black and white so that is what's knows. she said. her kids were;t spoiled. they had usually gotten what they wanted, and needed to wait or work for it but they generally managed to get it. and for things that weren't material they had people to support them. even if she did sometimes have a lot od work to do and willow was right hadn't always been around as much as she should have been. "are you feeling any better now" she asked hoping that he was. even though she hadn't been able to help much,
 

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