Closed A Guiding Star

[Elliot Briar]

Stargazing was always Elliot's favorite part about visiting New Zealand. The stars out at his dad's house were beautiful, and he could never see even close to as many back home in New York. Now that he was living at school, Elliot had thought he'd enjoy the chance to stargaze all the time, especially now that he got to study astronomy too. But he'd encountered one point of contention, now that they were studying more in class. All the stars and constellations he'd grown up with were in the Northern Hemisphere, and the more they did in the class, he was finding more differences in the night sky than similarities and the hobby he used to find stunning and fascinating was starting to become strange and stressful in its unfamiliarity.

Right now Elliot was struggling with his star chart for class, totally lost on which direction was what and what constellation was supposed to be where. He had thought he was doing fine until it was pointed out that Orion was upside down and he had to start all over again.
Now he was out here on the lawn, trying to find his bearings. All he'd really accomplished though was walking in circles for almost an hour and a crick in his neck. It wasn't even dark enough to really see the stars just yet and Elliot wasn't sure he was brave enough to try and break curfew, even in the name of homework. Not to mention the sun was only going to set later and later as the year went on, so he was already running out of time to figure this out. Stupid southern hemisphere. Elliot was ready to give up, dropping into the grass with a defeated huff, resting his forehead against the star chart and counting a few breathes to get back in control.

 

[Nixon Mercury]

Nixon unsurprisingly felt conflicted about stargazing. Since starting school at hogwarts the action of stargazing had transformed from being a reminder of home and a means of finding comfort that he wasn't alone in the universe, to a reminder of everything he saw wrong with himself and the feelings he ultimately wanted to avoid. This had become more obvious as of late, with the impending changes to his family and fear of what might happen as well as the new responsibilities he knew would be placed in his shoulders overwhelming him further with every passing day. But as conflicted as he felt towards stargazing and the stress he experienced over it, he couldn't rid himself of the habit of watching the stars most nights. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, or whether it was detrimental to his happiness as it so clearly was, stargazing being one of the things he knew best meant it was ingrained into his routine regardless of the sinking feeling it left in his chest. It was an undeniable part of him, and no matter how unsettled he felt knowing the home he grew up in would be changed forever in a few months, he couldn't keep himself from heading out to the great lawn that evening, sitting down on the grass to lean back and watch as the sun set further on the horizon.​

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Rather than looking for specific constellations as it was still too early, Nixon resorted to counting each star he could see, looking from right to left and back again, adding to the number in his mind with every star that revealed itself in the darkness. The action being so repetitive was almost enough to calm him down, but before he could revel in it and feel normal for the first time in forever, the sound of someone dropping to the grass in a huff startled him. Looking in the direction of the sound, Nixon saw someone he assumed was younger than him. Deciding that they were in earshot, and that it wasn't necessary to stand up from his spot to check on them, Nixon called out "Are you okay?", while wondering why they sounded so bothered.​

 

[Elliot Briar]

Elliot looked up when he heard someone speak up, flinching when he crumpled his star chart a bit in his hands. He hadn't noticed there'd been any other students out here in the lingering twilight and felt his stomach clench in embarrassment at the thought of someone else seeing him freaking out about schoolwork. "Um yeah," He said, turning to finally see the speaker sitting in the grass nearby. "Just... homework struggles," Elliot waved a hand to his star chart and then the sky a little limply. He considered leaving it at just that, but something about the low light and the chance to express his frustrations emboldened Elliot to keep speaking. "I just.. Everything's all upside-down here and I feel stupid asking anyone for help and I want to be good at Astronomy but I just. Can't wrap my brain around it."

 

[Nixon Mercury]

Deep down, Nixon wished the boy was alright despite tell tale signs of the opposite, and that the frustration showing was over something he wouldn't feel obliged to help with; something more complicated than 'homework struggles' that he could shrug off carelessly and move on with his evening, his initial curiosity satiated. In his state of worry over the future, the last thing Nixon needed was to assume extra responsibilities and have another person rely on him that he would inevitably let down. Though as he listened to the boy elaborate, he realised despite wishing he wouldn't need to get involved, the situation was indeed calling for his help. Nixon had never been the most academically inclined student, barely passing if passing at all, though with astronomy his best subject by far and being ingrained in his personality for as long as he could remember he knew he should help the boy regardless if he wanted to. It would be stupid not to offer assistance when he knew the night sky better than he knew himself.​

Deciding to put his worries aside, Nixon called out again, "I can help if you want. Astronomy is my best subject." He wanted to cringe at his words already, hoping he wouldn't make a dramatic mistake and leave yet another person with a bad impression of him. With the way his life seemed to be going, that evening would turn out awful thus resulting as another example of everything that was wrong with him. But with the offer in the air he knew he couldn't exactly back out lest he risk said bad impression before even trying to help. So Nixon stayed sitting in the grass, waiting to see if the boy would accept.​

 

[Elliot Briar]

Elliot took a moment to consider the other boy's offer for a moment, peering at him in the remaining dusky half life before looking back at his homework. He thought he recognized him from the Hufflepuff common room, but he wasn't always sure with older students, and for some reason the idea of it being a student from another house made him more nervous than another Hufflepuff might. But the offer of help, especially from someone older, wasn't a bad idea. And maybe it wouldn't feel so embarrassing if it was help from an older kid anyway, the thought of asking a classmate, like Selene or even Aonghas made his stomach twist uncomfortably. "You don't have to, um, if it's too much trouble. Not that I wouldn't like you to uh, I just," Elliot sighed, pausing to collect his thoughts for a moment. "Would you mind?" He tried instead, hesitantly scooting closer.

 

[Nixon Mercury]

Nixon minded, and it was a lie for him to say otherwise. He minded that offering to help raised possibilities to let another person down, that if he wasn't good enough to help someone younger than him with their Astronomy homework it would prove there wasn't a place for him in a subject he thought was part of his identity. He minded that he was the one to offer help in the first place and put himself in a situation he expected would turn out awful either way, the realization how stupid he was for speaking up not lost on him. Nevertheless Nixon found himself shaking his head at the question of whether he did mind, showing that he wanted to help in spite of the voice in his head that told him helping anyone, even if it was with something as small as a homework assignment, meant something would go terribly wrong. "It's alright." Nixon swallowed a lump in his throat, sounding more carefree than he felt as he scooted over to to meet the boy in the middle. Looking over the boy's star chart, Nixon asked "Which part were you looking at?", and tried to focus on the task at hand, so the voice still in his head that reminded him how stupid he was wouldn't feel as loud.​

 

[Elliot Briar]

It was hard to read the other boy's face in the low light, but Elliot was relieved when he agreed to help. The fear of bothering the other student was outweighed by the potential of hum turning in a bad assignment, so Elliot pushed over his misgivings about getting help and tilted the star chart towards him. "Thanks.." He said softly. "I'm Elliot, uh by the way. You're.. In Hufflepuff too, right?"
Elliot sighed once the nerves about talking to a stranger were surpassed by his frustration with his homework again. "I think I did my chart all backwards, I can't figure out if I've got North in the right place anymore. I'm- uh, I'm used to the Northern hemisphere and it's all..wonky.. down here," Elliot tripped over his own words a bit, scrambling to explain why he was so confused. He was worried the other boy might think he was just stupid, but he just couldn't get himself oriented right.

 

[Nixon Mercury]

Moving his gaze from the star chart and to the boy who soon introduced himself as Elliot, Nixon nodded, trying to make sure he wouldn't immediately forget the name and embarrass himself. "Nixon, and yeah, I'm also hufflepuff." He answered. Turning his attention back to the star chart as Elliot described the issue he was having all over again, Nixon felt his eyebrows furrow as he attempted to figure out a solution. Never seeing the night sky in the northern hemisphere himself, it was difficult for him to think of a way to solve the problem at first, but it was when he remembered one of the more significant constellations in the southern sky that he realised he did know how to help, worries that he would mess something up suddenly becoming quieter. "Alright, so you're confused about where each direction is." Nixon began, glancing up to the sky momentarily, and back to the chart before he continued speaking. "There's this constellation called the southern cross, that can only be seen in the southern hemisphere, and it points south, so if you find the cross and note where its pointing, you can figure out where north, east and west are." Glancing up to the sky again, Nixon squinted, spotting the southern cross a few moments later, and pointing towards it. "There, can you see it? It's pointing down there, which is south." He moved his finger to show the direction, feeling slightly confident in his actions since realizing he did know how to help in some way, regardless of what the voice in his head was telling him.​

 

[Elliot Briar]

Now that he had a name for the face, Elliot felt like he'd heard Nixon's name before, but he wasn't sure. It was a relief when Nixon seemed to be able to easily get a handle on his homework, which Elliot supposed made sense for an older student, especially if it was actually Nixon's best subject. He listened closely while Nixon spoke, trying to focus on that feeling of relief rather than the embarrassment over what seemed relatively simple to Nixon.
Elliot looked up as Nixon pointed out the Southern Cross. He was familiar with the constellation, but it hadn't occurred to him somehow to use it as an anchor point. Stretching his head back, he peered in the remaining dusk at the stars Nixon was pointing out. "Oh. Yeah that's uh, that's such a good idea. It's like Polaris? I guess?" Elliot looked between the sky and his star chart, rotating the paper a few times in consideration. "Okay. Okay I can handle that," Elliot let out a little sigh of relief. He should have known there'd be an easy solution to this, but it had been hard to calm down when he was already a bit stressed about doing well in class. "Thanks, for taking the time." He smiled at Nixon, appreciating that the older boy had bothered to help.

 

[Nixon Mercury]

When Elliot seemed to understand, Nixon felt relieved. He was thankful that his Astronomy knowledge hadn't failed him, that he hadn't also spurted out a gibberish explanation that left Elliot more confused than before, and lastly that offering to help did not turn out to be as waste of either of their time. If Nixon didn't know better, he would have thought of the short interaction as proof his insecurities were unfounded, though even so the voice in Nixon's head that had quietened still existed somewhere and reminded him no matter how pleased he was in the moment, something would go wrong. Something would always go wrong, and he could only hope it wouldn't happen soon and ruin the moment of peace he was in. Nodding and trying to keep the voice locked away in the back of his mind, Nixon moved his gaze from the sky to Elliot and allowed a small smile to appear on his face. "Yeah, you can think of it as a southern polaris if it helps." He shrugged at the thank you he was given, shaking his head in dismissal. "You don't need to thank me, it's alright." It seemed pointless to thank him for answering a simple question. Even if he felt conflicted in whether he was able to answer it, it wasn't a big deal and saying thank you might allow Elliot to rely on him. From fear of letting him down, Nixon wanted to avoid being thanked at all costs.​

 

[Elliot Briar]

Elliot was already re-evaluating his homework with Nixon's advice in mind, immensely relieved to have an out from how overwhelming it had seemed before. He glanced back at Nixon, still immensely grateful he happened to be nearby and taken pity on him. "Would it be okay if I uh- If I ask you some more things later? Maybe? You can say no, I mean I just-" Elliot took a moment to collect his thoughts. He didn't want to bother Nixon, and honestly he was probably way overstepping to even ask and put Nixon in a bad spot, but the idea that Nixon might be able to help him out later was a comforting one. "If I have more questions later, maybe could I ask you again? I don't mind helping you with something if you need it. I'm uh, I write neat notes?" Elliot was mostly talking to his knees at this point, watching Nixon in brief glances.

 

[Nixon Mercury]

Nixon still wanted to avoid any situation that allowed others to rely on him and Elliot wasn't an exception to this, so when he mentioned asking him for help again, Nixon felt his shoulders tense up. Helping Elliot with homework for an evening was one thing, but repeatedly and consistently helping him with homework meant eventually Elliot would grow to expect Nixon to be there, and the thought of building up someones expectations just to let them down terrified him. But the more he did think about it, as much as it did scare him, there was something else telling him to agree. It might have been the fact helping someone out with homework would be a welcome distraction from all that was going on in his life, or it might have been something else entirely, but regardless of the reason Nixon found himself agreeing, nodding his head to Elliot's questions. "Sure, you can ask me things if we run into each other in the common room, or something." He answered. "Guess I'll see you around, then?" Nixon then added, assuming Elliot did not have any other astronomy related questions, and since his homework problems seemed to be figured out they could go their separate ways.​