Closed You Want to Talk?

Professor Minnie Calida

independent | perfectionist | class of 2055
 
Messages
1,312
OOC First Name
Emzies
Blood Status
Half Blood
Relationship Status
Seeing Somebody
Sexual Orientation
Eric <3
Wand
Knotted 15" Unyielding Walnut Wand with Augurey Tail Feather Core
Age
3/2037 (24)
Having not left school for the break, Minnie had been feeling a little odd. It was just weird, like there had been no break between her life then and her life now. She knew plenty of others remained at school for the holiday but it had been a first for her and not one she had liked. It would’ve been nice to go to a home, spend time with others and be able to just have a different wall to stare at. She would’ve still spent most of her time studying at home, but she would at least have a choice to also spend time with others which she had very rarely done over the break. She’d come to the library that day, sticking to her usual routine and had set up so she could spend most of the day studying, she had some snacks so that she wouldn’t have to leave for lunch and was just planning on continuing to get ahead of her classes this semester in the peace of the library.
 
The Gryffindor had decided to stay at the castle during the break. He had enough to be done and he could not leave the castle and to his family after the Yule Ball. He had a lot going on his mind and he didn't want to let anyone down or do stupid things. So he figured to just focus on his study and his goal to become an auror after school. And focus on himself and not to someone else. But he been going with something in his mind to the library. He didn't knew if Minnie would be staying but if he would run into her he wanted to have an talk. And hear the truth from her mouth. So he could close things of for good and let go of what he ever had felt for her.

He made it's way into the library and noticed how silent it was more silent thant ever. But he figured many people were not staying. As he walked further he saw one person sitting far from where he now was. He than walked towards the table and as he got closer he noticed Minnie sitting. He stopped for an moment and thought about what he wanted to do. But he was determined to do this. So as he came closer it was no surpise seeing her studying. He went standing next to her. '' You haven't changed an bit.'' He than said to her, being polite as this was the first thing he had said to her after an long time. He was the Gryffindor for an reason, the one with courage to face things, she didn't. But he was actually really angry at her, but more sad about how she had pretend that he was air.
 
Minnie looked up from her work as she heard that familiar voice. She frowned a little at his statement, it was said politely enough but it wasn’t like she wasn’t skeptical of why he was saying it, of what he meant from it. She gave a polite smile. ”Well, we are NEWT students, the work doesn’t stop,” she was sure that Noel was studying as much as she was. That he was working hard like she was. He had always been as keen to do well as she had. She took a moment to take him in. admittedly other than a few passing glances at him, she hadn’t paid all that much attention, he was older, undeniable handsome, though she didn’t feel anything for him. She half wished that Eric were here, not that he’d ever be in the library but it would make this interaction much shorter. ”How are you?” she asked politely, unsure if she should just end the conversation and instead just go back to work.
 
As Noel stood there with his book in his hand watching Minnie he didn't knew how this conversation would turn out. But he had to face it. If not he could never close it off for good. He nodded as she answered, ofcourse the work didn't stop. But she had time for Eric Holland after all. '' That's very true. But there is more to life than studying.'' He than answered and looked at the study in front of her. He saw her looking at him and Noel looked back. She was pretty still and would always stay his first love, but looking at her now was different than he used to do. Now he only felt how much she had hurt him. As she asked back how he was doing he was kind of suprised. This was the first thing she ever had asked to him and the answer was not what she wanted to hear perhaps, but he would be honest. '' Mm can be better.'' He than answered first and looked around for an moment and than went sitting across her. '' You really have hurt me Minnie.'' He than started and felt his voice shaking. He was not gonna cry, he didn't want to cry she didn't deserved that. '' I've been very pissed of about the way how you have treated me. Ignorning me like I'm air, invincible. After.. what we had, what I've done for you. Like I am an piece of sh*t'''' He said sighting putting his book down on the table. Even if they ended things, an normal greeting or conversation seemed polite, but no not for Minnie Calida. '' So I figured. Let's talk this out and close it of for good. I've been thinking a lot and the Yule Ball was the last drop for me.'' He than felt irritated thinking about it. '' Really.. I was named as an distraction when you didn't got what you wanted being an prefect. And now.. Eric is not? Can you imagine how silly that sounds.'' Noel than said with an sight. Looking at the girl in front of him for some explanation.
 
Minnie half wished she had just ignored Noel, that she hadn’t said anything to him to start this conversation. She didn’t want to talk to him, she knew she hadn’t been kind to him but she hadn’t known how else to be with him. It would’ve been more difficult for her to have kept speaking to him, especially as she spent more time with Eric. She knew that his statement was true, and she did spend time outside of studying. But she wouldn’t say as much to Noel, especially when she still wasn’t good at it. She frowned slightly at his words, she stopped looking at her books and then looked up at Noel. He sat across from her and she listened as he speak, talking about how she had treated him, no longer being friends. She looked back at her books for a moment. ”Noel….over a year has passed, things have changed.” She spoke while not looking at him before then looking at him. She wasn’t sure what to say, ”I’m sorry you feel that I treated you badly, but come on Noel, I was in a bad place, my life collapsed around me, it’s still ruined, my actions then are maybe not excuseable, but surely you understand. You know what my parents are like, you can imagine how they reacted to me not getting prefect, to my continued failures at being a good daughter. Surely you understand that I had to break up with you?” Minnie told him her voice shook. ”I don’t think anything I say will make what happened any easier, Noel,”
 
Noel figured that either Minnie would just end this conversation quickly or she was giving the explanation he searched for or the excuse. And some things were happening, but as he listened to her answering he frowned for an moment. '' I know that things are changed and a lot of time has past. But an simple hello or smile was too hard to ask? You made me feel like I done something, but you were the one who ended stuff. I had an hard time dealing with that, but I accepted it piece by piece. I figured we could just stay friends, or study together.. like we used to.'' He than asked her. He just didn't understood girls sometimes, he wished he could look inside of her head. But who else didn't want that sometimes? He understood how harsh it was for her, her parents were the worst and it was wrong to put so much pressure on her. And than the loyal and friendly Noel could let his frustration go away for an moment. He nodded as she apologized that was something at least. '' I know Minnie. But I could have been there for you, as an friend. I wanted to give my postion away so badly if that was possible to have seen you happy. It's just not ok that you parents are putting so much pressure on you and I'm sorry for that.'' Noel than explained noticing that he could speak less emotional. '' I've been working hard from day one on this school. I don't see why I would be an distraction. I work hard for my future as well. If you just said I don't like you anymore or I don't want this right now than you would be honest. Not this excuse.'' Noel than added an bit harshly perhaps but he was as serious as Minnie with his study. But no one worked as hard as Minnie he knew. He had no idea how Eric Holland would help to fix things with her parents, since he figured he was more boyfriend material and someone with good grades. '' But now you do have time for Eric? So it was more than just the situation.'' Eric was the biggest distraction ever he figured and now she did have time? It was an mystery for him. But it was no point of saying that since she thought differently about the boy. '' It would be easier if you had just spoken to me. Even if you were angry or mad, but being ignored is even worse.'' Noel than explained.
 
Minnie frowned slightly, even though she had never said hello or greeted him, he hadn’t either. And really the only person she’d interacted with was Eric. Only in a few instances and only because she never felt like she had to be anything else. He was wrong to think about them being able to still be friends. He would’ve been a distraction because she had for a lot of the few months following their break up still loved him. She sighed at him, she glanced away from him towards some of the books on the shelves. Her eyes watered slightly and she let out a shaky breath. ”We couldn’t have been friends afterwards because I still loved you,” Minnie said. Minnie looked back at him slowly, ”After getting the letter where I didn’t get it, my parents blamed quidditch, they blamed me going to Halloween, they blamed you, they called me lazy, spending time with a boy when I was supposed to study,” she told him, in her mind reliving the argument, tears pooling in her eyes.

”I got to school, and I had to pick what things I would do and not do. I couldn’t quit quidditch, but I could spend all my time studying, not go to halloween, not spend time with a boy,” She wiped at her eyes and then looked at him. ”But since nothing I could do would’ve fixed it, I relaxed..a little..,” She gave a little smile at the slight jab. ”Eric and I have always been friendly...you knew this and we just grew closer,” Minnie said with a half shrug, a little smile on her features as she spoke of eric. ”I don’t know what else to say to explain it all or make it right. The original break up sure, that’s on me for sure, but it’s not on me if you haven’t managed to move on. And maybe I didn't reach out to you, but you also didn't reach out to me either,”
 
As he listened to Minnie speaking, he let her finish before interrupting stuff. He still had respect and wanted to respect people who earned it. He came to this conversation with an lot of emotion and frustration but he was again remembered by the magic or something Minnie had over him. As she explained why they couldn't stay friends he looked at Minnie. Her eyes were getting dry and it was proof to him that she was telling the truth. It hurted him to hear she had still loved him. And he felt his own eyes getting wet and tried to push it away. It was so frustrated that Minnie had still loved him and if they both would get prefect, perhaps this all had never happend and they would still be happy together. But now he finally got explanation why she ended stuff, he hadn't knew this was in the letter. He shook his head and put his fist on the table. It was unfair of her parents to do this. He wiped away an tear. '' They are wrong. And it's wrong they do this to you!'' He than said. Noel could made piece with the fact that it was over between them if there was nothing more, but how much he had tried and felt like he hated Minnie seeing her at the Yule Ball with Eric. He still felt loyal to her and wanted to make sure she wasn't hurt.

As she explained about relaxing an little it was hard to hear her speak. He felt frustrated as she spoke of Eric. '' I never would understand what you see in him. But.. you still have loved me you said.. but not enough to-'' He than said and felt an tear falling down his cheek. He tried to catch his breath. '' To come and find me again. You love him more?'' He than asked her. He believed now that she had truly loved him once, and could delete the thought that she lied to him about everything. And if she would tell him right now that there was nothing left and she would love Eric than he could do nothing more than let her go for good. He sighted as she spoke. '' I don't know if this makes me feel better or not. But it's better than nothing. And it lets me move on. '' Noel was glad there weren't a lot of people so that they could not be bothered. '' Yes I found it hard to move on, because I never truely got an explanation of why we needed to break up, other than that I was an distraction. I wanted to give you some space and deal with my own heartbreak. I constantly wondered what if you did became prefect, would things be all different? It made me crazy. And now I see you with Eric? '' He than said. '' I've been reaching out to you. Perhaps you don't remember.. but after the quidditch game you were taken out and I've visited you in the hospital wing to check on you.. In classes I tried to greet or act normal. '' Noel than said, he believed he had put more energy into it than she had. '' And now I came to you. To talk this all out.''
 
Minnie felt sympathetic towards his anger with her parents but there was nothing any of them could do. She would continue to work hard until she graduated and she knew that it wouldn’t help, wouldn’t make a lick of difference. She had trouble remembering this at times but she knew it was true. Minnie found herself frowning at his words, it wasn’t about loving Eric more than Noel. In her mind they were two different periods in her life, she had once loved Noel..she currently..loved..Eric. ”God I wonder why I didn’t want to see you then, after being hit by three bludgers and being sent off on the first game of the year and my ex-boyfriend’s team winning because of how much of a failure I was, I wonder why I didn’t want to see said ex-boyfriend,” Minnie retorted somewhat bitterly thinking of that day.

”That whole first semester, before and after we broke up I was a wreck, because I broke up with my boyfriend, because my mother wouldn’t speak to me, my father wouldn’t return my letters, I couldn’t win at quidditch and Professor Josephs hated me. I spent every spare hour I could revising and working, trying to achieve some goal I was never going to get. I wasn’t exactly in a place where being friendly, where spending time with my ex would’ve helped, you would only have reminded me of everything I failed,” she spoke quickly, getting the words out, skipping the part about the yuleball with Blake and the detention. She gave a little sigh. ”Noel, you would’ve been the perfect boyfriend for the version of me that had been prefect, but I am not that girl anymore. And I don’t think we can be friends yet.”
 
As this conversation was really going he knew one way or another this would end and finally things would be said. He noticed Minnie was frowning and he hoped she was just saying the truth. Explaining all the stuff that she went through he felt sympathatic to her. But the way she thought was just wrong. She didn't need to bring herself down. She seemed kind of annoyed in a way. He could understand that, but if she would just had said that than he would understand it sooner. Why did girls think they could look inside of their minds? When he would not do anything it was not good, but now it wasn't also? He sighted for an moment. '' That sounds terrible. But you are too hard for yourself.. Minnie. And I can't blame you, you never seemed to known something else. I'm sorry that you felt that way. But I loved you still than and when you see someone who is not doing good, you want to be there for them. That is what love is to me.'' He than explained. He had given her the time after that, it was clear that she didn't want to speak to him than. But after that also no contact. '' But after that, there was nothing too.. And I gave you time and space. Wanted to let you come whenever you were ready. But perhaps you were never.. I see right now. '' He than said as his face started to look sad. It was clear to him.

He listened to her speaking. He really felt for her and now understand more what was all inside of her mind. He had gotten it all but lost her. And he didn't cared about all those stupid titles and stuff he got, she had been the most important thing. But that fell away. It was hard to hear that he reminded her of everything she failed at. '' Auch.'' He than said out loud. Sighting for an moment. '' Look Minnie I get what you are saying. And If I knew all was going inside of your head.. but you would not let me in indeed. And now I understand why finally. I hoped you thought differently of me.. because it broke my heart too when you didn't got what you deserve.'' He thought for an moment about saying this he doubted if it was good or not, but whatever they would never be the same anymore still and there was no chance at their love anymore he believed. '' Look I even went to Professor Josephs to understand why you didn't became prefect. To tell her how much time you put in the study and to excell in all, and how much you deserved it. And you can be mad at me for that, but I don't care. I would do it for any friend or person I loved.'' That conversation didn't turned out the way he thought it would be, but that was forgotten. He hated the word perfect again when she used it. Why did people think of him that way also. It was like he could hear Eric speak. And it pained him that perhaps it could have been different if she was prefect, but she wasn't. '' I'm not perfect.'' He than just said. He than just listened and ignored the last part she said. He also still didn't got an answer to the question of Eric, but it was clear to him.
'' It's clear to me. '' He than said.
 
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Minnie thought it would be pretty logical that she wouldn’t have been up for a conversation but Gryffindor were nothing if not single minded. But Minnie couldn’t really blame Noel for it, she knew the manner in which they had broken up had left him with a good many questions, but she hadn’t expected that he would let them fester. After all if he was so upset about their break up why had he not actually said it to her. She might not have had the answer he was looking for as she still didn’t now but perhaps it would’ve helped him. ”Noel it’s only been a year and a half, maybe in a few months I would be,” Minnie said to him, though she knew until he and Eric stopped fighting she’d probably never be his friend. She didn’t think she owed him to have said what was on her mind then or now. How could she have talked about it, let him in. It wasn’t so easy for her to be open about such things. She frowned as he said he’d gone to Professor Josephs and looked at him, why would he do such a thing….getting involved.

”Merlin, no wonder she hates me,” Minnie muttered. But there wasn’t even the time to really think about what he’d done or why. ”Noel, you are perfect, just not perfect for me, Some lucky girl who deserves you and your love is probably waiting for a chance at you. You are a perfect gentleman who deserves a perfect lady,” she told him. She knew in her heart that had she been prefect she would’ve stayed with him because he’d have been liked by her parents. He would’ve been the perfect boy to bring home. ”For what it’s worth Noel, I am sorry,” with a little smile on her features, she took her wand and conjured a flower, a white rose and she held it out to him. ”for you, and the promise that maybe one day, we’ll be friends again,”
 
As Noel heard Minnie speaking only what he heard was that it was long time ago. He read it like, let go of it. And he needed to do that, but she must have understand that there were so many things left unsaid or not answered. He nodded as she told him perhaps she would in a few months. But perhaps not, he had no trust in that she would ever come to him. But it was not point of discussing on that. '' Could be, or not.'' He than just answered. As she seemed an bit annoyed about her head of house he figured that was true. But he didn't thought his conversation made any difference in that, because he had made it clear he come on his own not on Minnie her wishes. '' She is so different than Kingsley. She doesn't hate you I'm sure, but she is not very compassionate too..'' He than said as he felt how she and he didn't matched at all. He sighted as she mentioned he was perfect again. He hated that word. So made an no gesture with his head. Everyone had some expection of him always and that put a lot of pressure in a way. If he would take one misstep it would be terrible. But in a way he was glad to hear that comfirmation, that he had been good for her. '' There it is. Thank you for saying this. This means a lot..'' He than said at first. It was the truth what she said he knew. And this was all he needed in a way. And he thought like that too now, he and she were over for good. '

He listened to her speaking and waited until she was done. And the apology was welcome as well and that was what he hoped for. And than suddenly she got an white rose for him and he felt an lump in his throat. Feeling his eyes getting watered an bit. He took the white rose and knew he was gonna take care of this with all his energy. It was an hope that one day they perhaps could be friends again. But for now it was done for Noel. He could not bare her with Eric. If it would be someone else he could try, but Eric and him were no match. '' Thank you Minnie..'' He than said. First he had saw this conversation going in another way, but now he remembered again why he once had love Minnie. And he could not be mad at her, or stay mad at her. '' This was all I needed. What I wanted to talk about and hear the truth.. And I will let you go... You have made your choice and I made mine. I have been angry at you, but I have loved you for an reason. And now I see, that I can't stay mad at you. So.. I hope you will become more happy with the choices you made. And I wish you all the happiness, and start living your life and not your parents.'' He than explained. His own happiness would follow again one day also he knew. It was hard to close it off, but it was the best for the both he understood. '' Can I hug you?'' He than asked.
 
Minne wasn’t sure the white rose would help but she felt it might. At the very least it could express a desire for this to be over, for them to move forward and explore other things, well, she was already but it would put to death them. Be the end of their bond and relationship once and for all. Minnie knew that her breaking up with him hadn’t exactly been so kind, that in the return after that break she had made a lot of decisions which she might’ve thought were for the best but really were just her trying to stop herself from having a complete melt down, all at the slight expense of Noel. She nodded at his thanks and pleased that this seemed to be all he needed. She blushed at his words but just focused on hearing them and at the end when he asked for a hug she gave him a little look, trying to decide if she should and then nodded. "Yeah, okay," She shifted in her seat and moved to give him a hug.
 

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