Closed This One's Mine

[Blake van Houten]

Blake almost didn't recognise the person he had been a year ago. Ruled by fear, trying to hide his secrets behind a disasterous arranged date, lashing out at anyone who came near. The last Yule Ball had been one of the worst days of his life, and just coming near the Great Hall brought a momentary hesitation to his step, remembering that day. He had felt as though the whole world was closing in around him; the life path he had planned out, the love of his family, all dependent on hiding who he was. Now, though, everything was different. Even having been public for months, Blake still felt a little nervous about today, but his arm linked in with Lars' soothed those nerves, the Ravenclaw's presence helping to calm him. Today wasn't about the past, and it wasn't about his fear. It was about the two of them, and that was all Blake wanted to think about.

As they entered the Great Hall, Blake looked around with a nervous smile. "What d'you wanna do first?" He asked Lars a little sheepishly, looking up to his boyfriend. "We can dance but I gotta warn you, I'm not graceful on land." Blake added with a small chuckle. "You might wanna mind your toes..." Blake had always wished he was graceful, admired and tried to copy the figure skaters he knew when he was little, but it had never come naturally to him. He was too clumsy, too bulky, not flexible enough. He had dreaded the dancing at every school dance he had been to, but today didn't feel quite the same. He was nervous about the prospect of stepping on his boyfriend's feet, but part of him.... actually looked forward to dancing. Being close to Lars in public, being seen for their love. It was something he had never expected to have, and the prospect filled him with nervous excitement. "But we totally can if you want..."

 

[Lars van Houten]

Lars couldn't quite believe he was here at the yule ball with Blake. It seemed so strange, something he would have never believed if someone had told him this would happen if he was younger. Even a year ago he would have a hard time believing Blake could be this open about being with him, and he noticed it still made the other boy nervous. He squeezed his arm lightly, smiling at him as they entered the Great Hall. Lars actually laughed a bit when Blake said he wasn't graceful on land. "Blake, you've been dating me for months now and you still think it's my toes that are in danger?" He teased him gently. Lars had always been rather awkward and clumsy. "But let's dance." He said, gently pulling Blake towards the dance floor. "Even if it's a disaster, at least we'll have fun"

 

[Blake van Houten]

Nothing had ever made Blake feel comfortable the way talking to Lars did. He laughed lightly at the Ravenclaw's comment, the tension melting easily from his body. "Okay, fair point." He giggled, squeezing Lars' arm lightly. He followed when he was pulled to the dancefloor, laughing more at Lars' joke. "Maybe if we aim for each other's feet it'll actually look like dancing." He joked, though once he was out on the floor Blake moved close instead, looping an arm gently around Lars' waist and swaying with him in what he hoped was almost time with the music. As he pressed his face into Lars' shoulder for a moment, taking in the familiar smell of his soap and comforting warmth of his body, Blake's mind wandered to previous Yule Balls, to dancing with Minnie and Alice, to standing on the edges as a child and thinking the whole thing was stupid. He couldn't believe he had ever thought this could be stupid, feeling so comfortable and at home with someone he loved so much. He wondered what his younger self would think, standing on the edges and looking in to see himself so happy with Lars. Blake was struck with a fleeting yearning, a wish to find his younger self, look him in the eyes and tell him everything was going to be okay. All the fighting, the denial, the fear, everything was going to be okay in the end. All of it was leading him to Lars, and to the truest version of himself. "Love you..." He mumbled softly into Lars' shoulder, rubbing his back idly with one hand.

 

[Lars van Houten]

Lars laughed at Blake's joke, but let him decide how they were going to dance together. It was nice to simply sway together, and Lars looked down at Blake as they moved together. He gently ran his hand over the shorter boy's back as he pressed his face into his shoulder, only feeling vaguely embarrassed showing this much affection in public. He mostly felt at ease, trusting Blake entirely. Lars smiled as Blake said he loved him, leaning down to kiss the top of his head. "Love you too." He murmured quietly. "You okay?" He added, pulling back a bit so he could see Blake's face. He knew this was all still very new to him, and he was a little worried it might be a bit much for Blake to be out here like this. Though from what he could tell, not many people were paying them any attention. It was old news that they were together, after all.

 

[Blake van Houten]

Blake smiled against Lars' shoulder when the Ravenclaw replied, though his face tensed very slightly when Lars pulled away. He nodded quickly, smiling again. "Yeah, yeah, I'm good." He said slowly, resting his head on Lars' shoulder again as he spoke. "Just... thinking about when I was a kid." He added, speaking slowly as they swayed in time with the music. "I would have been scared, to see myself like this. It's - it sucks. I was... so terrified of myself. I wanted to like... to go back in time and tell him everything's gonna be okay, but like... he wouldn't even wanna hear it, you know? I used to be so scared..." Blake trailed off, leaning closer to Lars as he stayed silent for a moment before speaking again. "Sorry.. bummer thoughts, I know. I've gotta stop.... dwelling, it's all fine now. It's good now."

 

[Lars van Houten]

Lars listened as Blake spoke, stroking his back gently. "I get that you were scared." He murmured. "And I get that you would be thinking about that right now, but... just think about how in the future, you won't ever feel like that again." He said softly. "You got through all that." Lars said, reaching a bit higher to stroke his hair. "Let's try to focus on happy things tonight, okay?" He said quietly.

 

[Blake van Houten]

Leaning on Lars' shoulder, Blake felt a weight lift slowly from his shoulders as he listened. Lars was right - Blake had been so nervous about today it had dragged his mind backwards, but if he kept dwelling on the past he wouldnt be able to properly enjoy the day. "Mmm, you're right." He mumbled, leaning up to kiss Lars' cheek softly. "Thanks." He added, resting his head on Lars' shoulder again and swaying with him gently. "This is nice..."

 

[Lars van Houten]

Lars smiled as Blake kissed his cheek, then gently stroked his hair as he rested his head on his shoulder. But as the music picked up in a faster song, he gently pulled away to dance with him a bit more actively. "Let's have as much fun as we can tonight, it's our final yule ball." He said, leaving the fact that it was their first ball together unsaid. He just wanted to have fun with Blake, and he hoped it would cheer Blake up.