This feeling inside

She noticed instantly the difference in his kisses, they were more heated, more passionate. His hand caressing her neck sent goosebumps along her skin. In the throes of delirium before all sense was lost completely she heard his words and caught herself just in time. Trilby had one name on her lips in that moment and it was not the name of the handsome caring boy before her but another a long ways off. The thought was like a slap of a freezing cold cloth on her skin, that she could have uttered Xavier's name while kissing Sebastian. She gasped at her own behaviour and ceased all activity. Looking to her boyfriend, her lips swollen from his kisses, her breathing ragged and feelings still running feverishly high she moved her hands until they were around his neck once more and her face was buried into the crook of his neck.

"I am the worsed girlfriend Sebastian, you deserve so much better than I" she told him honestly. They had very nearly gone too far once again, very nearly made an error that might cost them their friendship or more again. Though she hoped that with them being older and now girlfriend/boyfriend that they would behave differently. The last time had been a hurried mistake, now at least they both knew what they were doing, what they were letting themselves in for. But as much as her body craved his, her mind had been ready to call out to another and for this reason she could not give in to the cravings that racked through her. It would be best for now that he believe that his words had caused her to stop and nothing else. She feared the time when she would have to be completely honest with him about all her feelings, for him and Xavier. Was it possible to love two completely different people at once? Trilby paused, she had never contemplated the word 'love' before for either of them and now unbidden it came to heart and mind as if this was the crux of her problem all along.
 
At Trilby's abrupt stop, Sebastian closed his eyes. His breathing was extremely heavy and his skin was still tingling from her touch. He let out a huge breath of air just as she wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his neck. Afraid to make contact with her lest he lose control and beginning attempting to kiss her again, Sebastian tentatively put one hand on her back and rested his head back, his eyes still closed.

They shot right open as he heard Trilby's words though. He was confused again, something he was finding difficult to deal with at the moment because his mind was still scrambled from what they'd just been doing. "Tril..." he said in a still husky voice, "you are not. I don't think I can find anyone better for me." He was feeling calm enough to place a chaste kiss on her forehead. "So, stop saying that. It's not true." he stated seriously, indicating he was done hearing any more on that.

Glancing up at the time, Sebastian was suprised to see just how much time had passed. The period was more than half over and in just a short amount of time, the ghosts would be re-playing the scene. Sebastian had no desire to see that again and besides he unfortunately had a class to get to. Another few moments wouldn't hurt though since he knew what was waiting for him in a few minutes. More OWL practice. "If I miss Astronomy, you think you can get me out of the detention?" he asked with hope in his voice as he looked down at her. He knew that she'd probably say no, but it was worth a shot, especially since it would mean more time with Trilby.
 
Feeling her heart almost rip asunder at his words she knew that the time for talking to him was closer than she wanted it to be. Would he walk away and leave her completely, knowing that herself and Xavier had only split up because of a stupid mistake on her part? Would he always wonder as she now did about the 'what if's?' What if she had not jumped to conclusions that day but had let him say his piece, would she have spent her Christmas at his home meeting his mother? Or the coming holidays? Would they have broken up eventually and herself and Sebastian find their way to one another as they had done? It was so difficult to answer any of these questions and try as she might, she never could come up with anything satisfactory.

Feeling his lips on her forehead she was comforted a while and with his words she leaned against him once more. Until he spoke again of course and she chuckled lightly stepping back to smile up at him.
"Sebastian Rossi, if you dare miss your astronomy class at all and I am the cause then I will have no alternative but to sit detention with you."
 
"That might just be worth it" Sebastian grinned wickedly, figuring that if he had to serve a detention, there could be many, many worse things than having Trilby right beside him. It would certainly make the time go by faster to have her there with him. He'd probably feel bad about ruining her perfect record though. Cursing his conscience, Sebastian knew then that he'd be sitting in Astronomy when the bell rang, not happily but he would be present which was saying something.

With an exaggerated sigh that clearly announced his displeasure about what he was to say next, Sebastian rolled his eyes. "I guess I'd better get back to my dorm to grab my stuff and get to class." It was all talk though because he still hadn't made a move for the curtain. Briefly, he wondered whether he'd done the homework for Astronomy and figured that he hadn't or if he had, it certainly had not been a good job or he would have remembered. Turning his attention back to Trilby, Sebastian finally pushed himself off the wall. "Want me to walk you to class first?" he asked Trilby, using anything to both prolong his time with Trilby and drag out the time when he'd get to class.
 
She could only smile at him when he spoke, his devilish grin made her chuckle lightly. He along with many others might find it hilarious to see her do a detention but she could not see the funny side to that at all. Trilby had considered it before, to actually do something that would enable her to be with him in detention but that had been when they were not seeing one another at all. Were barely speaking and she would have risked anything to spend time with him. She thought on this a moment as he spoke about heading back and yet he didn't move an inch and when he asked if he should walk her, she shook her head.

Sitting down instead on the window seat she patted the space beside her.
"I don't think either of us will get a detention this time around" or at least she hoped they wouldn't but remembering how badly she had wanted to be with him by any means necessary before decided her fate for her now.
"Sit with me?" she asked him, her brown eyes smiling up at him.
 
When Trilby patted the seat beside her, Sebastian gave her a curious glance before walking over to where she'd patted. He certainly didn't need much prompting to be late or miss Astronomy class and with Trilby's reassurance that a detention was not likely, he smiled. "Of course." Once he was seated beside her, Sebastian stood silent for a moment. His leg rested right beside Trilby's and he gave hers a slight nudge. It seemed odd to him that even after saying he needed to get to class that Trilby would ask him to stick around and even more odd that she would be willing to risk a detention.

"Sooo..." he dragged the word slowly as he glanced at her, his green eyes gazing at her brown ones as he rubbed the back of his head. "Any reason you're willing to risk a detention today?" A lift of his pierced eyebrow showed that he was quite curious to find out the answer.
 
She took his hand in hers as he sat down beside her, could she not just be happy for once. Not have to listen to the weary warning in her gut that said time was ticking for all of them. Trilby wanted to tell him then and there but suddenly couldn't. It wasn't that she was cowardly in any way but after all but throwing herself at him she couldn't very well turn around and admit to possibly loving two boys at the same time. She had never even known she had loved one of them but to get the realisation that she was possibly in love and with two different guys, was simply too much for even her to comprehend.

Knowing she would have to dwell on it, to analyse it all, dissect each and every feeling and thought that had led her to that conclusion, Trilby smiled at him and stood up again.
"You're right ... we should get to class. I thought I could miss it this once ... but I guess I'm too much of a stickler" she let his hand go to smooth down the creases in her skirt before looking at him again.
"You know I care very much for you?" she told him truthfully, until she could fathom what it was her heart wanted there was no way she would disclose any more than that. It would not be fair to either her, Sebastian or Xavier.
 
Sebastian was reluctant to let Trilby's hand go as she stood up and he somehow knew that she'd changed her mind about skipping class. "Ah...that's the Trilby I know" he said with a faint smile as he stood up as well. Trilby was the one who was keeping him on the straight and narrow with his classes even though it was also because of her that he often didn't pay attention in class and ended up daydreaming or plain old spacing out. Truth be told, his professors were relatively used to his occassional daydreaming and would simply yell at him or give him detention if he did it often enough. What they weren't used to was his consistently handing homework in though he still wasn't sure about that Astronomy homework.

When she asked him whether he knew that she cared about him, Sebastian walked right up to Trilby and lifted her chin, placing a small kiss on her lips before he took her hand and headed for the curtain that was separating them from the rest of the school. The answer to her question came to Sebastian swiftly. As he parted the curtain, he glanced back at her with a grin. "Yea, I do. But, it's always great to hear" he said. "I care about you too." lots more than you even suspect he added silently. Behind Trilby's shoulder, he could see the flickers beginning that signaled the re-appearance of the ghosts and he turned his back on it, holding the curtain parted for Trilby to step through.
 
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