There must be something?!

[Isaac Kain]

The longer Isaac stood in the Harbour, the more frustrated he was getting with having to choose what to do. He'd just about got by the last couple of years, trailing through his classes and on the verge of his parents approval, but now that he was going to be a fourth year, his progress was beginning to show. He'd wandered up and down the shops in search for the items on his list but so far had purchased nothing of any use for his classes. It would have helped if he knew what exactly he was going to take that year, which was hard to decide when you were a thirteen year old with no knowledge of what to aim for. With Lillith now at Dervish and Banges he knew he could talk to her, but had no doubt her only advise would be to do the opposite of whatever their parents requested. While he didn't want to be pushed around by them, and follow their every word, it wasn't as though he was in a position to rebel either, and as a result the blonde was pondering his purchases. Stopping outside the Apothecary he was eyeing up the various tools and equipment, not really knowing what the options even were. It had been his own fault really, for preferring to stay locked up in his bedroom when he should have been attending the schools fairs, but now that it was dawning on him that he was about to be thrown into a new year of the rest of his life, the Ravenclaw was closer to tears than he'd like to have believed.
​

 

[Monty Pendleton]

Monty could no longer walk the streets of Obsidian Harbour without periodically glancing over his shoulder for dogs. More specifically, for Ava, who had just about scarred him for life by leaping at him in animagus form and chasing him all the way to the Leaky Cauldron, though he eyed every four-legged creature he passed as if it might launch up and attack him. He stopped at Flourish and Blott's to pick up some new books, and then headed down the cobblestone road toward the Apothecary. As he drew up to the window, he saw a boy, perhaps a fourth year, gazing into the display, looking slightly lost in himself. He couldn't remember the boy's name, but he knew he had not seen him last year in his class, while he had the year before. Monty stopped and smiled. "Thinking of joining us again?" he asked.

 

[Isaac Kain]

Maybe he'd gotten too excited about the prospect of being something more than a burden, and that the best thing for the Ravenclaw was to slink back the way he'd come. His eyes were still staring into the shop in front of him, unable to pull himself away. At the sound of a voice, Isaac became more aware of himself and turned his head slowly, squinting a little under the brightness of the sky, to see one of the Potions professors. Did he mean literally or metaphorically? It was hard to tell. Then again Professor Pendleton had been the one to faint in front of the school just a few weeks ago so was he really one to judge whether something was with it. "What?" he asked simply, blanked faced and staring at the man beside him. Why did he even care what he was doing. Didn't he have professors duties to be attending to? Since realising he was being watched, Isaac had managed to pull himself together, and was no longer threatening to cry in front of anyone that had their eyes on him. "Just shopping. Just like everyone else." Isaac added blankly, it wasn't like it was an unusual feat during the holidays.
​

 

[Monty Pendleton]

The boy's abrupt response momentarily threw Monty. His smile faltered, though only for a split second before he regained composure. "Ah. My mistake," he said, still making no move to leave. He was used to stubborn children, and generally understood that they each had their reason for behaving the way they did - even if that reason was usually unclear. That wasn't going to keep him from trying to persuade a student to enrol in his class. "In that case, might I ask which subjects you do intend to take this year?" he asked, curious as to how much thought the boy had given it.

 

[Isaac Kain]

Wow, this guy really wasn't going to leave him alone was he? Wondering why he cared so much, the only conclusion he could come up with was that he wanted to make sure his class had enough people in it. Was he worried that too many students had heard him singing and they'd not want to return for the later years with him? "Do you want me to say Potions?" he asked the professor outright, hoping that if that were the case he'd leave him to wallow in his own pity again. "I don't know." Isaac turned back to the window, unintentionally giving out a little more truth than he'd desired. What were most other fourth years taking? Would he be expected to take something in particular, with his exams on the horizon? Everyone else he knew was smarter than him and much more capable, so what was a useless Ravenclaw to do. "What would you suggest for a Ravenclaw with no ambition, no skill and no idea what he wants to do with his future?" If he was going to push for questions, well Isaac would do the same.
​

 

[Monty Pendleton]

"Not if it's only to please me," Monty replied, with the same honesty Isaac seemed to be offering him. "I'd like you to want to say Potions, but I certainly wouldn't encourage you to pursue a subject you've no interest in." Monty spent the first two years of every student's life at Hogwarts aiming to inspire them to take his subject for another five, but he was well aware he couldn't force anyone to enjoy brewing potions. He frowned at the boy's question. "Well, I don't know what I'd say to a Ravenclaw with no skill, but to you I'd suggest not worrying so much. Very few people your age know what they want to do with their future - and those who do often find come ten years they've changed their mind." Monty spoke from experience. "Life isn't so linear. Forget about what you're good at, or not good at it. Skill comes with practice, and passion comes with persistence. What is it that you enjoy?"

 

[Isaac Kain]

By this point, the only reason Isaac was staring into the shop was so that he didn't have to face Professor Pendleton. That was the whole problem though, he didn't know what he wanted, nor what he enjoyed. He'd spent so long trying to avoid everything that that now he was lost. "So what's the point then. To all those students that do work hard, and do know what they want to do. Why should anyone work hard if they're going to end up changing their mind in a few years anyway?" he asked eventually, unable to stop the frustration building in his voice. What did he enjoy? He liked to lose himself so that he didn't have to think too hard. It was hardly something he could make a living from. In four years he'd made one friend, and managed to read a handful of books. The rest was alien. His parents wanted him to go into the ministry and while he'd spent most of the last few years witnessing the effects of his sisters rebellion on them without comfort, he didn't exactly want to admit to them yet he too was feeling as though he should step away from their choices, even if his own weren't any better. "A much easier question is what don't I." he mumbled, a frown on his face that he could see vaguely in his own reflection on the glass.
​

 

[Monty Pendleton]

Monty considered Isaac's question. "The point is that they've learned something. Knowing what you don't want to do is almost as helpful as knowing what you do. Consider it a process of elimination, if you like. Besides, time spent broadening one's knowledge is never wasted, even if one eventually decides to pursue a different path. You can never tell when the information might come in useful." If that couldn't persuade Isaac that the aim of studying wasn't some existential self-realisation, then Monty didn't know what would. "All right; tell me what you don't enjoy." Monty wasn't sure how he'd managed to go from shopping to trying to help somebody decide what they wanted to do in life, but he didn't mind. Ignorance wasn't always bliss, and he'd much rather have known Isaac was struggling in order to try to help than to leave him to figure it all out on his own.

 

[Isaac Kain]

Just because it was an easier question didn't make it any easier for the Ravenclaw to actually admit out loud. While he could agree that at least he would have learnt more if he'd attended all his classes, it still meant that going forward he was always going to be behind his peers without any hope of catching up to their skill level. "Um," he knew it made sense to eliminated what he didn't like, but the idea of someone actually knowing that about him put him on edge. Hesitantly, Isaac glanced to his side once again, pondering whether or not the professor was the kind of person he could get away with talking to. To be fair, it wasn't like there were many people he trusted, and while he may eventually have had a similar conversation with Sophie, maybe a professor would have more experience. Isaac liked reading about plays, and the idea of performing on stage was one he thought he'd like to have done one day, but the fourth year knew it was only because it allowed him to be someone else for a while, and would never be something he could actually do. "I, I don't like large groups of people." The party had been an obvious sign of that. Too many people too close, it was hard not to bolt. "I don't want to just stayed tied to one project. One thing." He wasn't exactly sure how to describe it, but the prospect of reliving the same days for the rest of his life bored him to tears. "History is boring, Divination is pointless," he wasn't really leaving himself too many options and he knew it, and he shifted in his stance as he felt his own door close on him in his mind.
​

 

[Monty Pendleton]

Monty nodded, quietly agreeing about the large groups of people. It was only for his love of teaching that the Potions professor could tolerate living in the castle. He could also understand the fear of being trapped doing one thing for the rest of one's life. Monty didn't mind, now - he knew that teaching was what he wanted to do for the rest of his life - but there had been a time, not so long ago, when he'd been less sure, and the idea that he might be stuck in the same job forever had made him feel claustrophobic. He crossed Divination and History of Magic off the list of potential paths, and said, "OK. What is your stance on sports, or extracurricular activities? You were a beater, were you not? What happened? I probably ought not to tell you this, as a professor, but the world isn't limited to eleven or twelve subjects. At school, we provide you with a foundation upon which you'll continue to build for the rest of your life. It isn't the be-all and end-all if you decide to be a... a journalist, or a photographer. That isn't to say your education is useless - it most certainly is not. Only through exploration will you discover what it is that interests you; but it won't happen if you give up on everything so soon. You've got to give your interest a chance to develop. You'll be doing yourself a great disservice if you don't."

 

[Isaac Kain]

Isaac didn't know whether Professor Pendleton had more important things to be doing that speaking to him on a day like this, with many other students and no doubt many other things he needed to be doing, but the words the professor was sending his way made him feel at least as though he had a second chance. He may not have done his best, or really even tried at all, but perhaps there was still time to turn things around and make a change that would allow him to feel as though he was finally achieving something. Isaac nodded as it was mentioned he was once a Beater, a feat he knew had been rare for a first year but somehow he'd made the team, not even as an alternate. "I still like Quidditch," he said simply, not wanting to admit out loud that it was purely because it was hard work that he'd quit. He'd had to practise often, and being around older students he didn't really know wasn't exactly his idea of fun, regardless of the enjoyment of the activity. After the Cade boy took his spot though, he didn't think there was much point trying out. As he listened to Professor Pendleton, it all sounded a bit overwhelming. If there were so many subject though there must have been something he could get on with. "So what, I have to do everything to see what I like?" He asked, irritated that other people didn't seem to have to do that, so why did he?
​

 

[Monty Pendleton]

"Well, then why on earth did you stop?" Monty asked, before realising it might have been a personal question. He, too, had dropped out of the Ravenclaw quidditch team, and he certainly wouldn't have wanted to admit that the reason was because he was afraid he'd let everybody down. "Never mind - I won't pry. Only, don't deny yourself the enjoyment over some trivial reason, will you? Quitting the school quidditch team will forever be one of my greatest regrets." It wasn't that the team had been particularly important to Monty - it was the act of quitting, rather than facing his fears, that made him regret leaving so. "Yes, that's right. And don't give up! That is the key." Checking his pocket watch, he added, "Ah - well, I'd best be off. Look after yourself, now; and if you do decide you'd like to join us again, it will be a pleasure to see you." With a smile, he snapped his watch shut and disappeared into the shop.