Closed Spent My Last Hours

[Blake van Houten]

If one thing had become clear to Blake this year, it was how much apologising he had to do. The further he stepped away from the way his father had raised him, the clearer it became how many people he had hurt over the years. As much as he wanted to believe it was nothing but ignorance, following his parents' teachings, Blake knew that wasn't the case. Some of the people he had hurt had been malicious, pain he had caused either on purpose, or just because he hadn't cared enough about other people. And even as quickly as he had begun working his way through the list, he had managed to add another name to it. There hadn't been any malice or intent in the way he had talked to Minnie, but it had taken Blake no time flat to realise how wrong and stupid he was. What had he been thinking?! He knew he needed to apologise, but he wasn't especially keen on getting punched again. So when he spotted Minnie in the hall he stayed at a distance, standing as far away from her as he tapped her on the shoulder, leaning back slightly. "Minnie?" He asked, voice uncharacteristically nervous. "Can we talk?"

 

[Professor Minnie Calida]

Minnie had hoped she’d never lay eyes on Blake again, well, apart from strictly in quidditch or accidental passing, so when he touched her shoulder she looked at him with an unamused expression. Her hand mindlessly reached for the necklace Leda had given her and she felt a strong connection to that girl, the girl who had passed it in theory down to him. She had been a good captain, a good player and a good person, and Blake….Minnie gave an over exaggerated sigh. ”I don’t know, are you going to say things I won’t like?” Minnie was sure that Blake didn’t really believe those things, she had to believe that he knew it was wrong. His reaction after being punched did tell her as much but there was no way for her to know and though she knew it was a little hypocritical she thought he’d be smarter than to just believe whatever he was told. She was learning this too to some degree. That her parents' opinions and beliefs were the be all and end all that she had once thought, but it had been slowly growing over the years and she wanted to still do good on what they wanted. She knew her situation would be different from Blake because she knew now that if she wasn’t following her parents beliefs, opinions and desires then they didn’t love her and at least she wasn’t, to the best of her abilities outwardly hateful to others.​

 

[Blake van Houten]

Blake had rehearsed this apology over and over in his mind, but just like when face with Alice, now that he was actually here, the words didn't want to come. "No!" He said quickly, then stood still, dumbstruck for a moment. "I mean, look, I, uh.... I came to apologise." The words were hard to choke out, but he got there, shoulders slouched slightly, miles away from his usual grandiose posture. "My, uh... my dad's wrong about... about a lot of stuff." He said slowly, stomach lurching with fear even at such a small admission. "I know better, and I shouldn't just.... parrot his sh*t when I know it's not true. You're... a really good seeker. All the girls on the Hogwarts teams are good players. It'd be dumb to... pretend that stuff makes someone a worse player." He shrugged uncomfortably. "So... yeah. Sorry."

 

[Professor Minnie Calida]

Minnie listened as he spoke, struggling to find the words, and hearing him give an explanation about what he had said. It didn’t excuse the words that he’d used, but it helped her understand and she felt a little sympathy for him. Knowing that for her too, it wasn’t easy to stop parroting what your parents said. She gave a little sigh, she didn’t care for the compliments, they didn’t really help. She knew she was good, she struggled more than Blake did, but she was..could be good at it. She could just hear her parents in the back of her mind telling her she wasn’t good enough to bother, that this was the only place that they’d never managed to control. ”I accept your apology,” she didn’t think she should completely forgive him just yet, but the detention she’d gotten for punching him was fresh in her mind. ”For what it’s worth, now, at least I get it..parents..family...they’re your whole world view and being loyal and respectful to them is paramount. But you grow up and realise how stupid you are for believing them, for doing everything you can to make them happy...for their…” Minnie stopped herself from continuing, knowing she’d ventured more into her own life than his. Perhaps his parents loved him..unconditionally...even with their views..”Just, I get it,”​

 

[Blake van Houten]

Blake had been braced for this to be a nightmare, for Minnie to argue with him, maybe even punch him again, and he released a breath he hadn't even realised he was holding when she spoke. Nothing was ever this simple. But she seemed sincere, and it was a huge weight off his shoulders, not having to worry about making an enemy of Lars' co-captain of all people. He nodded as she went on, eyes widening slightly in surprise as Minnie summed up.... pretty much exactly how he felt. "I.... yup." Blake said, surprised to hear a slight croak of emotion in his own voice. He cleared his throat quickly, switching to an artificially gruff tone. "That's... pretty much how it is, yeah."

 

[Professor Minnie Calida]

Minnie felt her expression soften further as he replied, a hint of emotion in his voice, which he immediately tried to clear. She knew first hand the toxic nature of some parents, she knew that despite now really realising about how little her parents loved her when she wasn’t achieving highly or on their path. She knew how conditional her life had always been, but she still was desperate in wanting their affection back. ”Parents are idiots,” she could almost hear that in Eric’s tone, in any of the occasions, pretty much since they’d first met, saying that. But she felt Blake might appreciate it. It was just hard she couldn’t say to him to ignore his parents when she was still incapable of doing the same. ”But..I should go study, gotta make my parents proud…” she half joked with a little smile. She felt a little better about Blake, she had been right to hit him, but she understood now, she could empathise with where it had come from. ​

 

[Blake van Houten]

Blake couldn't help cracking a small smile at Minnie's comment, pleasantly surprised by the common ground. He had never met anyone who talked about their parents the way he was starting to feel about his own, and it bolstered his heart slightly. His face fell slightly though as she said she had to go make them proud, a fresh stab of guilt hitting him. Should he be... Putting his own wishes aside and trying to make his dad proud? He nodded stiffly, glancing at Minnie. "Sure... Uh... See you later, then." He said gruffly before turning and walking away, emotions more mixed up than they had been before he apologised.