So....

[Maya DeNiro]

Maya vowed to never speak to Alex Cullen again, but the guilt was eating her up ever since that night when she felt like wanting to kill him. Instead of going on a rampage though, she found comfort from two friends. Hadan Blake and Lindsay Love. They had consult her for a little while, that didn't meant the guilt never went away. She was staying in London for only a week. At night she couldn't sleep, she felt devastated. Only because he was Haden brother nothing more. If it were someone else, they would have been erased from her life for good. Instead of a coffee shop though she waited somewhere open, a grassland area. There weren't a lot of bystanders around, which was good in someways. If something were to happen Maya wanted to be prepare for the worst. She sat down on a wooden bench trying to play over the words she will say to him. There wasn't much, except maybe apologize only if he return the favor. "This so insane..." she mumbled to herself. Why the hell should she even care, its not like he was going to tell her truth. Probably come up with smart ass antics, and maybe make Maya feel low again. Maya thought of just leaving, but she didn't like that he may have that little control of her emotion. She sat with her back against the bench, and her arms rested at her side. All she could do now is wait....

 

[Alex Cullen]

Alex had sworn to himself he wouldn't see anymore of Maya so why was he doing this? She was one of the most cruelest people around, needing to fulfill her own selfish needs and ruining everyone else's recovering lives. Yet he was still going to see her. Why couldn't he just say no, like he had always managed to do before the last time.
Well, the damage was already done so he saw no reason now why he couldn't just let her know what the hell she wanted and be done with it. The haunted nights had returned to him once more and he felt himself nearing the days again where he had seeked refuge in his room with his blades. Not too mention the fact he couldn't even think straight anymore like his normal self would. His wand was useless most of the time now. And he was not happy with that.
As he walked up to the field, he had come better prepared this time. His black coat stopped the whole seeking in perfectly and he was nice and snug while the wind started to pick up. He saw her sitting down on one of the benches and took a deep breath. Come on, Cullen. Stop being such a wimp. You've managed before so you'll manage again-murderer.
He shook his head and walked over, plopping onto the bench a bit away from her. He just stared out not bothering to greet her. He just wanted to tell her what she wanted and get over with it. He did not want to end up drinking alcohol again to calm himself right down again. It wasn't the whole givin in that he minded, it was how bad he managed to react to the hangovers. They were torture to his mind.

 

[Maya DeNiro]

Maya didn’t bother looking up this time, but she did felt his presents nearby. Maya felt a little dizzy thinking about what she was going to say to him, her pride was holding her back at the moment. So she didn’t bother saying sorry, sorry that she overreacted the last time as she bit down her bottom lips. She knew what she had said was wrong, but he didn’t have the rights to say what he said to her. She just wanted to know. She knew she had lied about knowing when his funeral had been, the part she had added, she knew it would have at least obtain a little information. At least know what year he died, and what month. It was confusing to her as she thought back again. They had been in the same school, so how did she not know? Than it hit her, the obvious, she had been to loves trucked by Carslie. This made her even feels lower than the words Alex had said just a couple days. Ugh she wanted to just leave and not even remember, but it was too late. Alex was here and so was she. “So?” she said looking straight ahead now, with her hands tucked in her leather jacket. “Last time…you…said something..” she couldn’t even finish a sentence, but that’s all she could manage to spill out.

 

[Alex Cullen]

Alex felt the wind blow it's laughter and mockery around him as he listened to the silence growing between them. He sighed as she let out a so. Normally, he would have some messed-up way of mocking her or anyone for saying that but for once in his life he didn't feel the need to pull the mask on. He didn't have the energy to bother to bring her down anymore. No energy for anything like he deserved for what he had done.
'Last time I said a lot of things, a lot of true things,' he replied to her comment, annoyed at how that was all she could say. He didn't care if she was feeling guilty. She brought this up, she might as well of finish it like any sane person would do. He frowned to himself, still not looking her way again. He didn't need to to know that she was probably smug about this whole thing.
He shrug further into his jacket, the warmth surrounding him still snuggly. The urge to just summon a bottle of something, anything that he could grab a hold of was gnawing at him to drown in the sorrow but he forced himself to just concentrate on the blankness of nothingness which it was safer to do. No drink at all.

 

[Maya DeNiro]

Maya listen to what he had to say, she rolled her eyes and just wanted to say 'Tell me something I don't know'. She held her tongue though, as she closed her mouth to swallow back spit, her eyes still peeking straight ahead. "Last time stuff were said....and I just want to know." she didn't apologise that was enough of an apology he was going to get from her, and it seem it was the same the other way around. Maya than decided to just deal with him, even if he brought her down today she wasn't going to show him weakness this time. She felt her head turn as she looked at Alex, feeling the side of her face prickle with irritation. He didn't look happy being here, he didn't seem happy at all. There wasn't enough emotion in his eyes, except some sort of regrets or sorrow. The energy she felt was negative, something more was hunting Alex besides Maya questioning him. A sort of pity washed over her, but she remember this was Alex Cullen not Haden. She flare her little nose, as she looked down. She didn't want to show anything to him, at least till he let his guard down first, than maybe she didn't know by than.

 

[Alex Cullen]

A sudden loud beep echoed from the town, making Alex jump slightly from it. Stupid drivers, he thought, rolling his eyes at it. At least when he was driving, he managed to avoid having to go to such means. And never did he find himself getting beeped or caught my the police.
He took a shaky breath as he prepared himself to tell her everything that happened on that day. The day he had killed his last line of flesh and blood. For the first time, he would tell someone what had happened to Haden after all these years, besides Nina. Though, he hadn't much told her. She had sort of found out due to the newspaper.
'Umm, the summer after the Triwizard Tournament. We had eh planned to go to Newcastle for the summer, but Nina had asked me to go to France with her so I had said I had to see. H-haden told me to go, so I did and he went to manchester instead.' Tears started prick Alex's eyes at the mention of his big brother's name and he tried desperately to hold them back. He'd do anything for it to rain heavily at this moment.
He chewed his lip before continuing. She wanted to know and he'd tell her. ''xecpt. One night, H-haden had an argument with one of the gangs there' One of the gangs I had done work for! 'about how it was wrong to smash bottles in the sand pit of the playpark. And he was walking back to the-'
He paused wondering if he should tell her about his 'uncle's place. After a quick debate, he decided not to for her own safety. He had not gone back to Manchester to know if things were the same there. '-umm, home when the stupid idiot managed to get himself run over by the frickin' gang.' The last part was said through clenched teeth as his long fingers curled into fists in anguish. Stupid, idiotic, guilty, undeserving murderers, him included. He didn't deserve to die so young. It wasn't fair. Alex should of died instead that night. Haden should be the one here right now, enjoying his perfect life he would of had.
Alex closed his eyes and hung his head in his hands. He just wanted to just cock a gun to his head and pull the trigger but that would be cheating himself of his punishment. He deserved every bad thing that came his way. It was Haden's way of telling him he should of listened to the nuns back when he was 4.

 

[Maya DeNiro]

Maya ignored the sounds of the gravel being driven on, as a car drove passed them, her eyes still staring at Alex at the side.
She kept her full concentration at his words, he sounded like a child explaining a bad deed he had done long ago, but it wasn't that far into the past. Maya noticed Alex was trying so hard to fight back tears, she didn't understand it at first. When he mention after the twiwizards, she recalled one of her own memory of going back home for a while. Finishing up her lessons in Salem, because she loathed England so much. But that change when Carsllie ask for her to come back. When secretly she had came back for Blake and Cullens. Once Alex was done, Maya was surprise to see him crumble the way he had done. Now even feeling more bad, because the words she used the other day...Oh no..she sighed looking away. "You knew them didn't you? she question the obvious, as she looked straight ahead again. "That's why your feeling guilty because you knew them right..." the wind would blow at the side of her face, as her hands would ball up to a fist inside her pockets. She couldn't much do anything but asked what he might wanted to avoid. It had to come out some ways, or else he will be living like this forever. Getting bloody drunk because of guilt and shame. Maya relaxed her hands as she settle back, she waited to see what he had to say about this...she was preparing herself for the worst.

 

[Alex Cullen]

Alex frowned. He had not expected himself to lose control like this. Behind his closed eyes, he could see the faces of the people he worked with. God, he was disgusted now. How could he even think he could tell this to nothing more than a stranger? He shook his head in his hands.
He didn't know them. If he had known them, then he would of forseen who horrible they could be. How meanigless other people's feelings were. 'No, I frickin' worshipped them. I flippin' worked for them for a whole two months.' he answered her, through his clenched teeth. His voice was filled with disgust at himself. His hands clenched against face, his own pride keeping him back from smashing his face against them.
He knew Maya was probably thinking of him as a weak worthless murdered. Well, she wasn't wrong if she was. 'What was was worse was that they didn't even get caught. Police don't believe people with criminal records. They're too good unlike the rest of us,' he added, his eyes opened and glaring into the distance through his fingers. Police. Hmph, no proof, no conviction is they're motto. And that was the first and last time he'd ever gone into a Police station voluntarily.

 

[Maya DeNiro]

"That's enough Alex" this came out of nowhere, as she demanded him to stop. Maya had put him through enough hell for one day. She could see what it was doing to him, but frankly she didn't care anymore. What was done, had already happen. Even in the wizaring world there were laws. Bringing back the dead was one of them, "You can not bring back what's already done and gone." she said out loud for him to hear."At least if your going to live in this world, live to the full extent for Haden. Don't live with this guilt because it will just be like killing yourself" she said to him, one of her fist balling once again. Maya didn't care if Alex did get mad at her, but what said was true."Stop harvesting the past and let go." Maya said close to a whisper but loud enough for him to hear. She wasn't sure what to say or do next. She believed she said enough, and even if she didn't pity him at least she can either brighten up his day or make it worst. Maya thought of leaving once again, back home to Salem. London had enough Maya for one week. Salem was home and she missed it. Gwen would be worried and probably tell Allen since she hadn't sent her parents any owls for the past week. At least she had a home to go to, Maya looked at Alex and wonder if he did as well.