Closed Slight Panic

[Cassielle Helkovaara]

Cassi's life had certainly been... interesting, to say the least. She's pretty much settled into New York, selling her place in Alaska after Lucas had moved out. She was proud of how far he was coming on his own. She'd managed to get a nice sky rise apartment, and she'd even been looking around to find a place to open her own martial arts studio. It was just an idea, but she meant to run it by Celestyn soon. At least... she had been planning on it, before she'd been sidetracked by this. Cassi stared at the box, debating on what to do. She wasn't completely certain, but... she was late, and she'd been feeling under the weather lately. Letting out a soft breath, she sent a text to Celestyn asking him to come by as soon as he could, deciding that this was something they'd need to talk about. She sat on the bed, anxious, bouncing her leg nervously.

 

[Celestyn Helkovaara]

Celestyn had real problems with the mobile phone that Cassi had bought, it had just been a while since he'd needed to use one, and being in largely magical areas did mean that he was often going in and out of network. But he'd been walking to a lunch spot when he'd gotten the message from Cassi. He had understood the urgency of it by the tone of the message. He excused himself and found a quiet spot to apparate to her flat. He wasn't sure what this was was necessarily about, but knocked on her door. They had been dating for a little while and it had proved to be good, It was still in the beginning stages with complexities between Lucas and Charlie but it was going well. He was thankful for the company in his life, certainly something he'd felt when Charlie had gone off to school.​

 

[Cassielle Helkovaara]

Cassi was relieved when Celestyn appeared on her doorstep rather quickly. She let him in immediately, not saying anything but moving to pace a bit in the kitchen. She motioned for him to take a seat but didn't bother looking to see if he had. She paced a bit without saying anything, trying to pull her thoughts together. She had very little luck, and soon just stopped and turned to Celestyn, looking wary and very tired. "I might be pregnant." She told him flat out, not wanting to beat around the bush.

 

[Celestyn Helkovaara]

Celestyn had leaned in to kiss Cassi when she opened the door but instead she was moving as quickly into her kitchen. Celestyn was a little confused but sat down and glanced up at his girlfriend. The news was a little surprising, he was sure they were being careful but perhaps not careful enough. They hadn't really been planning for this and it wasn't the best time for it to happen, but if this was the case they'd make it work. "Okay, have you taken a test yet or been to see a healer?" he wasn't sure which way was the easiest to find out. ​

 

[Cassielle Helkovaara]

Cassi stopped, surprised by how calm he seemed. Nervous, she shook her head, wrapping an arm around her torso. "Not yet, but I did buy a test. I-" She blushed and looked away, rubbing the back of her neck. "I wasn't sure- um- I mean- you- I-" She stuttered, struggling to voice her concerns or worries or why she'd even told him instead of just handling it. She leaned back against the counter, gripping it with one hand with rubbing her temple with the other, letting out a sigh. She cursed softly, unable to even look at him and hating how insecure and unsure she felt.

 

[Celestyn Helkovaara]

Celestyn watched her and knew likely why she was panicking and he wasn't. He just gave a little nod. "Well, you should take the test," he said. "Then we'll see what it says and figure it out." he wasn't sure if she was ready for a child, they were together now and things were better but he knew children especially young children could be a lot. "It'll be okay, no matter what it is, and though it is super unplanned and definitely not what we intended, we'll deal with it as you want to," ​

 

[Cassielle Helkovaara]

Cassi nodded. "Yeah, yeah, take the test," She whispered, dragging a hand over her face. She looked up to him, hating the tears in her eyes. "How are you so calm?" She asked him quietly. She held out an arm, a silent request to be held. He was handling this a lot better than she was, that was for sure. "It doesn't worry you?"

 

[Celestyn Helkovaara]

Celestyn stood up, and took her hand as she held it out to him. He pulled her in close and just gave a little smile, hoping to reassure her. "Well...I do have experience raising a child, if this is positive and you decide to keep it, I'd happily do it again," he told her. If she decided to keep it then he was ready for it. "It's not what we planned, and we have been being relatively careful, and it's a bit difficult since it'll be a big age gap between them and Charlie, and I'd be a little worried about how Charlie reacts to it...but....I think we'd manage it. ​

 

[Cassielle Helkovaara]

Cassi fell against Celestyn, shutting her eyes and wrapping her arms around him. "That's not why I'm worried," she admitted gently. "I know you'll be a great father. You are a great father. And Charlie would be an amazing big brother." She bit her lip, tightening her hold on him. "I just... I got so scared with Charlie... I'm barely his mother now, I- they would deserve better than me. You- You all do." She told him, her heart twisting in her chest.

 

[Celestyn Helkovaara]

Celestyn shook his head. "Everyone is a terrible parent when they get started, there were days when Charlie wouldn't settle down for hours. When he'd be up all night, when I caved to toddler demands because it was easier than having a meltdown in a public place. There were days I felt like just sitting in a corner and never leaving," Celestyn said with a little smile. "We don't deserve better than you, we just deserve all you are willing to give us," he said. he didn't want her to get too wrapped up in whether or not either of them worth her. "With parenthood you just have to try your best, because that's what they deserve, the best you can offer," of course he knew that the best someone could offer was not a high bar, and some people's best was the furtherest thing, but he was sure she would understand his point. ​

 

[Cassielle Helkovaara]

Cassi relaxed against Celestyn, shutting her eyes. She wasn't usually the cuddly type, but Celestyn got to see sides of her that she'd thought had been lost long, long ago. She sighed. "You're so logical," She teased gently, before leaning back. "Why don't I go take the pregnancy test ad we can figure out what we're dealing with?" She asked, taking a deep breath. Her fingers tightened on his shirt, and she bit her lip for a moment.

 

[Celestyn Helkovaara]

Celestyn had been an adult for a long while, he felt he was just being logical because he had experience. He had been there with suddenly a child being in ones life. His family had been pretty garbage so why wouldn't he be calm about this. But he rubbed her back in a soothing manner and nodded. "Yeah, and for all you know it's nothing and we're all good," Celestyn said. "And we can have a drink to wash this all down with," ​

 

[Cassielle Helkovaara]

Cassi sighed, pulling back. She gave him a soft smile. "Why don't you run to the store and grab us something? I'll take the test and by the time you get back, we'll know." She told him, nodding. She stole a quick kiss, cuddling into him, before stepping out and heading for the bathroom. It didn't take her long to take the test, so she sat on the bed and waited. When the timer went off, she checked the result, and let out a long sigh of relief. She needed a strong drink.

 

[Celestyn Helkovaara]

Celestyn gave a little nod, he pressed a quick kiss to her lips and then grabbed his jacket and shoes and headed out to the store. He was glad that there was always a shop nearby in New York, so he was quickly able to grab what he needed to and then headed back to the flat. He went up the stairs two at a time and then went straight into the kitchen. "That's me back Cassi," he called out in case she couldn't hear him come in. ​

 

[Cassielle Helkovaara]

Cassi smiled when she heard Celestyn come back in, and was almost to the kitchen when he called out to her. She just walked round the corner, moving straight to him and pulling him down for a heated kiss. "Good," She whispered, tracing a hand down his jaw. "I vote we get drunk and have you stay the night," She offered, wrapping her arms around his neck and leaning into him.

 

[Celestyn Helkovaara]

Celestyn smiled at her, he didn't need to ask about the test because she wanted to get drunk, and most likely if it had been positive they'd have needed to have a conversation about it before drinking. He just kissed her back, wrapping his arms around her. "So negative?" he said. It was surprising to him that as he said those words, there was a slight disappointment in the back of his mind. He wouldn't mind though it being negative too. They could then drink and keep just feeling each other out, this wasn't maybe the right time for it, in their relationship. ​

 

[Cassielle Helkovaara]

Cassi smiled, and nodded. "I was worried there for a moment," She told him, a touch more serious. "I'm not sure I'm ready for another baby." She reached up, meaning to brush his hair from his eyes. "I have to admit though, part of me was worried how you'd react. You... handled that a lot better than I thought you would, Celestyn." She studied him. "Would you really be alright? Having another baby? With me?" She asked, her voice softer.

 

[Celestyn Helkovaara]

Celestyn had to agree, he had also been worried, he was sure that if it had been positive they would've been able to figure it out, but things were likely easier if they weren't. He wasn't sure how Charlie would handle being a brother after so long of being an only child. He leaned into her touch and gave a little nod at her words. ”I love you Cassi, if anything now would be a better time for us to have another baby than the first time around,” he replied. He loved Charlie with all his heart, but it hadn't been easy being a single dad, and it hadn't been in his plan, but life never went according to plan. ”Us having a baby, I would be okay with that,” ​

 

[Cassielle Helkovaara]

Cassi's heart fluttered at his words. She smiled softly and leaned in, laying her head against his shoulder. "I love you too," she murmured. "I'm sorry it took us so long to realize it," She sighed, before leaning back and tracing her hands up to catch his face. "Maybe we can revisit the subject of another baby later." She hesitated. "Celestyn, how would you feel about moving in together?"

 

[Celestyn Helkovaara]

Celestyn shook his head at her, ”Don't be sorry Cassi,” he knew this was a very roundabout way of doing things, but it didn't matter, he was happy they were together now. He wouldn't want it any other way. They hadn't likely been ready then and could be ready now. ”Yeah, I'd like that,” that they could revisit a baby in the future. He wanted to revisit it, he realized. The beginning of the day, he hadn't thought much about it, but now…now he realized he wanted it. ”Absolutely, though you should move in with us, a little less disruption for Charlie,” he told her, he liked his apartment too, hers was nice, but he had grown very accustomed to his apartment. ​

 

[Cassielle Helkovaara]

Cassi considered his words, cuddling in against him. "That would be nice... should we talk to Charlie first?" She asked, considering. She looked up to Celestyn. "There's not really much I'm tied to that I own... I could just get everything sold off and situated?" She traced her fingers over his ribs. "I hope Charlie is alright with that..." She bit her lip, suddenly feeling nervous. She always worried about how their son thought of her.

 

[Celestyn Helkovaara]

Celestyn nodded, ”Yeah, I think we should. He does live there too, some of the time, I think it would also help him realize that we're, serious,” Celestyn spoke carefully. ”Especially if we're looking to have a baby at some point,” he knew that they wouldn't overload Charlie with too much at once. That them moving in together would be step one and things would follow, but he wouldn't want her to start selling things off for Charlie to say no. ”He'll be okay with it, I promise you, Cassi,” he assured her. He felt certain of it. ​

 

[Cassielle Helkovaara]

Cassi bit her lip, nodding at his words. "I would like that, I want to be closer with him." She told Celestyn, relaxing against him and resting her hands on his chest. She looked up to him. Cassi had a lot of regrets in her life. Running away from this beautiful man and their son was perhaps her greatest one. She leaned her head on his shoulder, shutting her eyes. She was almost tempted to apologize, but at this point it felt more like she was repeating herself, and Cassi had never been one to apologize twice for the same thing. They had seemingly forgiven her, and she knew with time her guilt would fade. She smiled softly, clutching a bit at his shirt. "I love you, Celestyn," she murmured. She truly did. And she had every intention of spending the rest of her life proving it to him.

 

[Celestyn Helkovaara]

Celestyn was gladly holding her close, his arms wrapped around her and feeling glad to just be able to hold her. He felt this had been an important step for them, an important step towards healing and being able to move forward. An important step in their relationship. "I love you too Cassi," he replied tightening his grip on her for a moment. Things weren't and wouldn't be perfect but he felt confident he would spend the rest of his life with her. And there wasn't a shadow of a doubt in his mind about whether this was a good thing. ​