Singed

[Annabelle Gimlish]

It wasn't exactly obvious that Annabelle was still grieving after almost 4 years of doing so; she didn't wear black to reflect her losses, she giggled like a schoolgirl at small animals and lived like there wasn't a gaping hole burnt inside her heart. The only true insinuations of her loss was that she couldn't conjure a patronus, and the disturbing nightmares that lead to her insomnia. Constant and unending, seeming to continue even after she was awake, Annabelle dreamed of fire and woke to feel the hole continuing to burn inside of her chest.

She supposed she could take something for her restlessness - conjure up a Draught of Living Death if things got bad enough to where it was needed - but Annabelle rather preferred her late-night strolls along Obsidian Harbor as an alternative to sleeping. It was going to be a crisp, refreshing fall judging by the gentle bite in the air as she strolled down the pavement, the wind occasionally pulling a strand of her pale hair out from behind her ear as she reached the beach.

The lighthouse cast a eerie yellow light as she strode along the sands, occasionally picking up a shell or two before throwing them back into the surf. It didn't take long for Annabelle to feel teardrops pricking at her eyes and threatening to cascade down onto her cheeks; anymore all it took was a small reminder of a memory to turn her into a ball of mushy emotions. In this case it was the seashells reminding her of spending time at the beach with her husband, next time it could be a look or a certain smell to set her off into this distraught, grief stricken whirlwind.

"Its not fair,"she whispered to the incoming tide as she sat herself onto the sand and huddled into her cloak. "Two years isn't long enough, dammit." Annabelle took up a seashell and threw it forcefully into the the water, then another one, and another one until she was just hurling clods of sand into the ocean. "You. Cheated. Me." She punctuated each word with a forceful throw of sand, tears streaming down her cheeks. If she was in a more rational mindset, Annabelle would've noticed how childish she looked, throwing stuff into the ocean late at night while the almost the whole town was asleep behind her.

 

[Sara Moon]

Sara had come to love running. She'd always been fast, but since she'd started training almost four years ago, she'd come to enjoy running for the sake of it. It helped relieve stress, and forced her to stop over-thinking. She'd come to accept that she'd made a choice in her life; she'd put her career first. Yes, she was single. Yes, her twin sister was getting married. Those were not her choices. She'd made her own, and she was relatively happy; no complaints.
Her heart hammered against her chest as she ran along the sand. She'd come home late from work, and hadn't been able to sleep; her mind was too full. She'd slipped out into the night and started running. Hopefully physical exhaustion would force her to sleep when she returned.

It wasn't the warmest of nights, but she wasn't too cold, not yet anyway. She glanced out across the water, a small smile on her face. The sea was so beautiful. Weirdly, Obsidian Harbour had begun to feel like home. She'd always loved the beach, and the ocean. Her Father had always worried about how comfortable she was in the water. Kate, her twin, was the same. They both loved the water; one of the few things they had in common. Sometimes Sara wondered where she'd gone wrong. She and Kate had been so close once, but that was gone. It wasn't that she missed her sister, their relationship was fine; much less codependent than it used to be, but she missed being that close to someone. As it was, she couldn't really talk to people about work; her family would be too scared, because they didn't understand. Her friends; they didn't really understand either, and the Scitorari would just scare them. She did have Andronikos though, which was something to be thankful for. He was a great partner, a great auror.

Nose alerted her to someone else's presence on the strand. She slowed, and reached into her back pocket for her wand, but hesitated. This person was angry, yes, but they also sounded... sad. She approached slowly, and as she drew closer, she realised it was a woman. Pale blonde hair, thin, and crying her eyes out. "Oh." she breathed, rushing down beside her. "Oh God, are you okay? Well, that's a stupid question, of course you're not." she asked, kneeling beside her. The sand around her was all dug up, and her hands had sand on them. She wasn't hurt; not physically anyway, but Sara couldn't help but feel for her. She placed a hand on the woman's back. "I'm Sara." she smiled, bending down to look into her eyes. "Let it all out. There's nothing like a good cry, it always makes me feel better." she added, her voice low and soothing.

 

[Annabelle Gimlish]

Annabelle jumped at the sudden contact on her back only to look up into the big brown eyes of a woman she had seen running on the beach before, but had never a spoken to word to before. And now here she was - consoling Annabelle like a friend even though the two were strangers. That just made Annabelle bawl harder; every emotion seemed to be amplified by her state of hysteria - sadness, longing, grief, and now thankfulness to this kind woman

"I-I..." Annabelle hiccupped, trying to wipe away the wetness on her cheeks only to find that her hands all the way up to her elbows were covered in sand. She settled for the fraying hem of her cloak instead and wiped forcefully at her face in hopes to also rid the redness in her cheeks from being seen in such a state of disarray. God, she felt like a sniveling mess covered in sand and her own snot. "I-I didn't m-mean to ruin your run. I just..."

Annabelle trailed off for a moment while looking out into the water, wondering with morbid curiosity how long it'd take her to drown before shaking her head to try and rid herself of those thoughts. Suicide wasn't the answer and she knew that, but lately it was getting harder and harder to avoid. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, turning her head to address the kind woman who couldn't have been any older than 20 if she had to guess. "My husband...he died. He was an auror a-and..." Annabelle turned back to the ocean and frowned as another tear rolled off of her nose. This was the type of stuff she hardly told anyone, and to be divulging it to a stranger seemed oddly satisfying. "I just can't stop missing h-him." Her voice broke on the last word.

 

[Sara Moon]

Sara couldn't help feeling sorry for this poor woman. What could've happened in her life that would prompt this? Sara couldn't shake the feeling that sitting in front of her was a woman whose world was falling apart. She kept her hand on the other woman's back, pulling her into a hug. "You didn't ruin anything." she replied, pressing her lips together, promising she wouldn't cry. It was so horrible to see someone falling apart like this. "I was only running to tire myself out. A chat would do the same." she smiled, looking down at her. Sara had never felt this way, sure she'd been hurt, and she felt like she was cracking at times, but she'd never felt the kind of sorrow she could see in this woman.

She watched her companion as she looked out at the water. She wasn't going to push it; if she wanted to talk, she would. Sara knew how hard it was to tell people about your problems. She'd always had a problem with that, and she couldn't really push someone else to do so. The woman's response shocked her though. A fellow auror? Her husband? How horrible. It was heartbreaking. This woman was too young to be losing her partner. "Oh I'm so sorry. That's horrible." Now probably wasn't the moment to say she was an auror too. "I can't even imagine it. You're too young to be dealing with this." she couldn't help the dry feeling at the back of her throat. She pulled the woman into another hug. "There's nothing wrong with missing him. You're allowed to miss him." she whispered. When her family friend had died; Michael Glass, it had taken her months to get over it. He'd been like an older brother to her. If it were okay for her to mourn for so long, of course it made sense for a wife to grieve for her husband for as long as she needed to.

 

[Annabelle Gimlish]

The hug was unexpected but quite comforting to Annabelle given the current circumstances. It was a sad thought, but Annabelle couldn't honestly remember the last time someone had given her a hug - not just a one-armed pull either, a real hug where heartbeats thrummed in almost perfect sync if you held on for long enough to the other person. No, she hadn't had one of those in a long time and hadn't realized how much she had missed it.

Annabelle wriggled away from Sara's grasp for a moment to wipe off another round of fresh tears threatening to spill out from her eyes, pausing to glance at her companion sitting next to her. Sara looked like she was about to cry herself, her lips pulled together in a tight line and large brown eyes moist around the edges - it looked she was trying not to cry. Maybe she would and then the two of them could sit here on the sand throwing shells into the water and cry about the unfairness of it all until morning came; as pitiful a thought as it was, it made the corners of Annabelle's mouth turn up for a fraction of a second.

"It's been about four years or so...everyone told me I should move on by now," she admitted while picking up a handful of sand and letting it fall through her fingers. "That's why I came here, to get a new start and all but-" Annabelle's voice faltered and she gulped down the dryness in her throat. "God, I don't know. It's just so hard to let go of everything. I don't feel...whole. It's like a half of me is missing." She let out a short bark of laughter that was swallowed by the incoming tide. "My better half, I suppose."

 

[Sara Moon]

Sara couldn't help but feel for this woman. There was a part of Sara that was in awe of such a beautiful pain. To love someone that much, to miss them, to grieve for them with your whole self. That was the kind of love that was worth having, even if you lost it. Sara had never loved someone that much, but then again she was young; only twenty-one. Though she doubted she would be able to cope with losing that kind of love. Her sympathy was entirely with the woman in front of her. She couldn't imagine her Mother without her Father. Theirs was the kind of love that was supposed to last. The idea of someone you love being ripped out of your life like that was horrendous.

Sara blinked away the tears in her eyes and smiled at her companion, wiping her cheek. "I don't know why I'm crying." she laughed. "It's just terribly sad." she added, hugging her knees to her chest and staring at her toes. The sound of the water was soothing, and she placed a hand down in the sand, drawing swirls with her forefinger. "It's unfair." she murmured, glancing again at the woman.

Sara nodded as Annabelle spoke, but her brows furrowed. "They're wrong. Grief doesn't just go away. I once heard it describes as like living with a leg that broke, but never healed properly; it still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp." she replied. She'd recognised Anabelle's English accent, and wondered idly if she'd noted her Irish one, but she quickly zoned back in when the woman spoke again. "You don't have to let him go. You just have to learn who you are without him now." she answered, biting her lip and watching Annabelle with sad eyes.

 

[Annabelle Gimlish]

"You can say that again..."Annabelle murmured, returning Sara's glance with a sad, almost wistful smile of someone wiser beyond their years. It was unfair - she was young, she had been in love, and now it was gone. Everything. The universe owed her something for Merlin's sake! But Annabelle knew it didn't work like that; she had known that for a long time and yet still believed that whatever forces above had to pay her in some sort of compensation for her losses.

"Huh...I quite like that," Annabelle replied quietly,"guess I just need some dance lessons and I should be ready to go." She snorted at her little jest and looked away from Sara towards the lighthouse shining like a giant candle against the inky blue, star-filled sky. She felt better now that the tears stored up inside of her had finally fallen. not to mention the fact that Sara was here to support her. Maybe that was what she had been missing this whole time - support and understanding from someone who wouldn't confuse her mourning as weakness. Sara seemed to fit the bill quite well. "We actually really hated each other in the beginning, you know,"she began with a tone of melancholic remembrance. "We were just so different, but we just brought out the best in each other once we got past the initial impressions."

Annabelle realized that this was one of the few times she had ever really talked about Mikey after he had passed; it had always been such a tender, taboo subject that she had just stopped telling people who her husband really was, rather than that he had just died a tragic death and she was left a widow. Nobody had really asked, so she had never really told. Maybe it was time to change that. "He used to call me 'Annie-belle' or 'Blondie' instead of Annabelle, just to get a rise out of me. I would call him 'Michael Calder' instead of Mikey to do the same thing; he hated that name, said it sounded too much like a poor shepherd rather than an auror," she said with a small, crooked grin. She away from the lighthouse and back at Sara to see if she was still listening, even though Annabelle knew she was beginning to ramble and wouldn't blame Sara if she had stopped.

 

[Sara Moon]

Sara allowed the few moments of silence to swell as she observed her companion. She was beautiful women; thin, with a long face. Sara had a sort of round face, which she went between liking and disliking all the time. She was young though, not much older than Sara herself. She couldn't grasp the concept that someone so young could be a widow. She shouldn't be; that much was true. This was part of what Sara feared about relationships; when you loved someone, you opened yourself up to losing them; whether through their death, or their leaving you. It was easier to be alone, lonelier, but you were less likely to get hurt.

Sara smiled at Annabelle's comment. She'd always loved that sort of self-deprecating humour that she found so often in her homeland. This English woman obviously had a good sense of humour if she could joke when she was obviously so upset. She smiled as she began to talk about her husband. She couldn't imagine she really got to talk about his much. "Like in a rom-com." she smiled, thinking of the type of films she saw on muggle television. "I always imagined that was the type of love I wanted; someone who challenges you. It'd be boring if you just got along perfectly straight away." she added, resting her head on her knees and looking at her companion. "They do say there's a fine line between love and hate."

She grinned as she began to talk about Michael. "What did he look like?" she asked, imagining it would probably be sort of therapeutic for her to be able to tell someone about their life together. Because it was still a life; whether it was cut short of not. "Blondie..." she giggled. She had always liked nicknames, they'd seemed like a sort of secret. She'd always called her twin sister Kit-Kat when they were kids. "It sounds like ye were very happy. The type of happy that makes people wish they were you." she smiled, glad that Annabelle was beginning to cheer a bit. Sometimes talking about these things made it easier; remembering a person, rather than mourning them. Mourning was well and good, but you needed to get to a point where you could be happy when you thought about someone you'd lost. She still thought about Michael every time she sent an owl. He'd bought her Shade when she was a kid, and she still had him today. He reminded her of the kind-hearted man who'd been taken too soon.

 

[Annabelle Gimlish]

Annabelle sighed contently and sniffed away the last few tears that had gathered in her eyes - no more crying, not now, anyways; she felt...better, or at least better than she had when the night had started. Talking about him now caused a twinge of grief to tweak inside her stomach, but it was better than the tsunami of emotions that usually boiled inside of her whenever she thought about him. Maybe that was the difference between grieving and remembering; she didn't feel guilty or angry about remembering all of the good times that were over now.

"Merlin, you can say that again,"she said with a little snort. "But I suppose it just...worked." Annabelle didn't exactly know how to explain to Sara how it all played out in her short two years of marriage; it just did. She picked a bit of sand out from under her nails and smiled down at the ground while shrugging her shoulders."Something just clicked once we figured out that we worked better together than alone." There was that word again, alone, but this time Annabelle wasn't alone. Speaking of which, Annabelle looked over at her companion as the lighthouse's beam illuminated the two of them with a yellowy hue.

"What'd he look like? Well ah, he had this sort of gingery hair with a beard that always used to drive me crazy when he shaved it - I always thought he looked better with it. Ah...tall. Very tall, with these massive hands and feet always covered in callouses, 'cause he worked on his father's farm since the time he could crawl." Annabelle chuckled and shook her head, looking out into the ocean with a bit of a dreamy smile. "But...he was gentle. Very gentle, like he was always afraid that he'd break me if he hugged me too hard."She idly drew a lazy swirl in the sand without looking down, her eyes intently focused on the incoming waves. "He was a beater for Gryffindor when we were in school together, had that kind of build you know. And uh, he was approachable - just a good man, although a little stubborn."

 

[Sara Moon]

Some small, terrible part of Sara was a bit jealous of this woman. She knew that made no sense; this woman had lost the love of her life. Sara, had never loved like that; had never loved at all. This woman had experienced that, she'd lived through that. She knew she was wrong to feel that way and silently berated herself for it; this moment was not about her. She needed help. She needed to talk to someone and be listened to, and Sara was assuming that role. She didn't know this woman, but she felt the need to be there for her. She just knew that if she were in that situation, she'd want to have someone to talk to.

"I don't think anyone wants to be alone, not really.." she replied, crossing her legs in front of her. "I went through a period of thinking it was easier; not worrying about others, cutting yourself off, but usually it's other people you end up hurting. That was never my intention. Cutting yourself off is never the right option." she confided, smiling. She was in a much better place with friends and family now. The concept of working together was familiar to her. When she'd started her training, everything had been so difficult. Being partnered up made everything so much easier, having someone to share the workload with. Annabelle's situation was obviously very different, but Sara had no experience that paralleled hers.

"Gotta love a tall man." Sara laughed, leaning forward and smiling at Annabelle. Ten minutes ago this woman was crying her eyes out, and now she was smiling as she remembered the man she loved. The very thought of it made her happy, and she was able to acknowledge the bubble of hope in her stomach. If a short conversation could cheer someone so much, then anything was possible. "I like stubborn-ness in a person. It shows they have conviction." she replied, grinning. "You love him." she stated, without thinking, a small smile curling her lips.

 

[Annabelle Gimlish]

Tall men - ha! Compared to her small stature, practically any man was a tall man. Mikey was the exception - with a broad chest and shoulders wide as a doorframe, he could've made anyone look small. That was the joke though; intimidating as he looked with an Auror badge on his cloak, he was as docile as a newborn lamb when he wanted to be. Annabelle fondly remembered "borrowing" his old Gryffindor sweaters and being swallowed by the material that billowed around her like a cloak of sorts. She thought that maybe she might've saved one or two of his sweaters, although most of his possessions she had given away not long after he had passed. Looking back on that, she regretted doing not keeping more things of his.

Annabelle nodded, her gaze returning to Sara but not really focusing on her face. "I think that's the hardest part - has been the hardest part for a while now. You try to cut yourself off, get cold and uncaring, convince yourself it doesn't hurt as bad as it does, but it ends up doing more harm than good. Makes you feel even lonelier." She drew up her legs and hugged them to her chest, moving her neck down to where her cheek rested on top of her knee and her view of Sara was now tilted sideways. "I lost a lot of good friends like that, you know. Pushed them all away just because I was afraid of loosing them, too, made them feel like I didn't need them when I really did." She sighed and brought her head back up, resuming her drawing of an absentminded pattern of squiggly lines in the sand.

Annabelle could pick up on the fact that Sara had intentionally meant her previous sentiment as a statement instead of a question; the younger of the two certainly wasn't wrong, either. She had loved him as much as any wife could love her husband, maybe even more so because of the short time they had together. What was that one quote - 'separation makes the heart grow fonder' or something like that? Whatever it was, it seemed to fit in her case. "Yes. I do...did, I suppose. Very much so." Her green eyes met Sara's large brown ones for a moment and looked away as she shrugged her shoulders. "It just came natural really, didn't even really have think about it once we got the hang of doing it together. It's like breathing I guess," Annabelle snickered and quietly added, "now I suppose I'm an asthmatic."

 

[Sara Moon]

Sara smiled at Annabelle's laughter. Sara herself was short, but she'd always preferred tall men. Not that it mattered, seeing as she was perpetually single. Kate was so lucky. She'd met the love of her life as a child. She'd never had to endure those looks from her parents, wondering why nobody ever seemed interested in her. She didn't have to hear their mother saying "Don't worry Darling, you'll find someone." She was twenty-two! It wasn't as though she was an old maid. She had plenty of time for love, marriage and kids. Was it so wrong to focus on her career for the time being? No, she hadn't had a boyfriend since school, but in her defence; she'd been pretty busy, what with qualifying as an auror! Why was her mother so worried? People didn't usually get married at twenty-two, not in the muggle world anyway. She knew a lot of wizards married earlier, but she'd been raised as a muggle until eleven. It made sense for her to follow those values.

Sara let Annabelle speak. She hoped never to fully understand this sort of pain and loneliness, but then again; falling in love seemed to require opening yourself up enough to be hurt. Annabelle had obviously loved her husband. "I dunno, sometimes it's hard to admit you need help, it's hard to let people help you. It's sort of like drowning, but you don't want anyone to know so you pretend to be swimming..." she mused, watching the lines forming in the sand as Annabelle drew.

"I've never been in love." Sara replied. "But I imagine that him dying doesn't mean you stopped loving him. So, you don't have to use the past tense. I mean, my grandfather has been dead years and I still love him and talk to him." she smiled, still watching the swirling patterns in the sand. She laughed lightly at Annabelle's comment. "Asthmatics get along fine." she observed, "You will too." She paused a moment, watching the waves now and not thinking of anything, which was rare. "I think I would like to be in love. When I'm rational and thinking with my head I don't, because it means you'll probably get hurt, but sometimes I think there's something's delay beautiful about that sort of pain." She smiled, shaking her head. "I guess that sounds silly, and it is, but I can't help but wonder. My twin is getting married and she just seems so happy.." she shook her head again, bringing herself back to the conversation at hand. "Sorry, went off in a daydream there." she paused again, drawing her own swirls in the sand. "This isn't the end of your life though. It may be hard, but you have to keep going and find things you love to occupy your time. I don't mean forget about him, but don't forget about yourself either." She gazed at her companion quite seriously, lending weight to her words.

 

[Annabelle Gimlish]

Annabelle 'hmmed' in response to Sara's musing but didn't add anything; Sara seemed to understand what it was like to loose someone she had loved even if she had supposedly never been in love. Annabelle couldn't imagine why someone wouldn't want to fall in love with Sara - she was quite attractive at first glance, her big brown eyes and her lithe frame reminiscent of a china doll Annabelle once had as a child. And it wasn't like she was one of those pretty types who had the personality of a fencepost; she had passion, Annabelle could tell that. If it were a different situation, Annabelle wouldn't have minded sitting down with Sara at the pub and having a few pints while swapping stories.

"Congratulations to your sister," she softly murmured, her own mind pleasantly blank for a second or two. "Michael had three older brothers who all got married before we did; can't tell you how sick I am of hearing the wedding march played on bagpipes." Annabelle flashed a quick grin that faded back into her pale features as soon as it had appeared. She wasn't sure why, but the words 'beautiful about that sort of pain' thrummed around her head like the resonating bass before dissipating into the rest of her thoughts. "It is nice to be in love, don't let me discourage you from thinking that, but you're right, it is pain sometimes. Not too sure about the beautiful part though, I don't really think anything truly beautiful is painful." She paused and glanced over to Sara. "I could be wrong about that though, I'm not exactly an expert."

The yellow light swept over the two of them again and Annabelle could see the seriousness in her companion's eyes. It would amaze her to no end how compassionate and caring Sara had been to her even though they had started out as strangers; maybe it was a bit of a stretch, but Annabelle thought that she could maybe-kinda-sorta consider Sara as a friend now. She would be one of the first since she had arrived here. "Yeah, I do suppose you're right about that. I'd like to find a balance between the two actually, if there is such a thing."

 

[Sara Moon]

Sara didn't know how she understood this woman, she'd never been in her situation. Then again, her parents had always said she was an understanding person. She put it down to reading; putting yourself in someone's else's shoes for a spell can prompt one to consider others feelings. With this in mind, she stopped for a moment and considered Annabelle. She'd lost someone she loved, she'd lost him too soon. She tried to imagine how she'd feel if she'd lost someone who was that important to her. As a teenager she'd spent a lot of time at night terrifying herself with thoughts of her parents dying back home. She frowned as her mind wandered, imagining how friends and family would react, how she herself would react as a friend, as a sister; if Kate lost Stefan? It would be as though a part of her twin were missing. Sighing she looked at Annabelle as she spoke. "I guess it depends on your perspective. For me, as an onlooker; I know you're in pain, but you still love Michael, and there's something beautiful about that, about how much you love him; that it doesn't matter that he's gone. You still love him." she replied, a small smile gracing her lips. It was rare that Sara allowed herself to become involved in serious conversation. She usually cracked a joke, or laughed things off. Most of the time, she tried to keep her own thoughts, her real, honest, personal thoughts private; only showing her less intimate opinions to the world.

Sara smiled as Annabelle spoke. One thing, she did believe wholly and that was that Annabelle would be okay. "When my Grandmother died, she was eighty-seven. She and Grandad had lived a long, happy life together. And at times things were really hard. He lived five years after her, and we're convinced he only stayed because he knew we needed him. There was something missing in him after she died, but he was happy. He never doubted, not for a second that they'd meet again someday, and he knew Granny was worth waiting for." she mused. She supposed it was a bit like that for everyone when they lost someone they loved; they just needed to believe they'd meet again.

 

[Annabelle Gimlish]

She did still love Michael - that much was plain to anyone who had ever asked Annabelle about him like Sara had tonight. She loved him and always would, no matter how many years had passed or if she were to ever find someone else, she would love him. Most people didn't understand how grief and loss worked like that, but Annabelle did and so did Sara it seemed; it didn't matter whether or not the person was dead or alive, they could still be loved. Annabelle could - and did - love Michael after years with him being gone. Not physically, of course, but on a deeper level it was most certainly possible. She was living proof of that.

"You mean...life after death? Or like reincarnation?" Annabelle asked curiously. She hadn't exactly thought much about what came afterwards, once everything was well and done and she had bit the dust for good. She had considered death as an out of sorts when everything had gotten bad during the first months or so when Michael was gone, but had never really thought of what would come afterwards if she had actually followed through with it. "I'm not knocking the concept, swear it, just a bit curious by what you mean is all. I've never really thought about it to be honest with you; not in detail at least."

 

[Sara Moon]

Out of Character:

Sorry for late reply, the past week's been mental with audition prep.

Michael sounded like a nice man. They seemed to be a dying breed. The men she met nowadays in clubs or bars weren't the same. If one more man looked her up and down and leered she would scream. Unfortunately, a lot of the nicer men bored her. Sara was used to a state of change, and while she would like to settle down, the reality of actually doing it would be difficult for her. She'd need to be sure she was with the right person. Annabelle had obviously found the right person, and had lost him. Sara rarely thought about the dangers of her profession, but she knew they existed. Being an auror meant risking your life. How could she get married, or start a family when she was in a dangerous position? What man would want someone like that?

Sara smiled at Annabelle's question. "Yeah, I mean; I believe in God, I believe in life after death. I know it's not for everyone, but my Grandparents believed, and so do my parents. I just can't imagine that the little voice in my head, the part of me that is me, could just disappear. Y'know?" She replied, picking up some sand and letting it fall between her fingers. She still talked to her Grandparents sometimes. She prayed most nights. God, to her was like a friend who was always happy to listen. It was a comfort, and while she had no problem accepting that others didn't feel the same way, it was important to her.

 

[Annabelle Gimlish]

Out of Character:

You're fine! How's the audition go?

For a moment the only sounds were the breaking waves and the sand being pushed and pulled by the outgoing tide as Annabelle puzzled out Sara's answer. It wasn't a complex, mysterious concept to understand, but Annabelle still found the idea of placing all of one's beliefs in a single figure a bit odd; that, and the fact that organized religion and magic mixed together like oil and water made Sara's answer all the more difficult for Annabelle to fully understand. She didn't like to make assumptions about people, but she assumed that Sara was either Muggle Born or had been raised by Muggles - it would explain why several generations of her family were believers in this omniscient God Annabelle had never been introduced to.

"I get it...it's just a bit of a new concept for me. I mean, the only time I've ever been inside a church before was for my wedding day. And even then it was only because of Michael's family - they were the ones pushing for it." Annabelle smiled in spite of the less than enjoyable memory. They had wanted to elope together, run away and spend their honeymoon traveling the countryside in search of the perfect cottage to make a home out of. It hadn't turned out that way "I guess it's just because it's only really one of those things I've only learned about in Muggle Studies class back at school, you forget there are people who actually practice it still. Know what I mean?"

 

[Sara Moon]

Out of Character:

Well, I think; I'll find out this month.

Sara had gone through times when she'd struggled with her faith. Her last few years of school had been trying times, and she'd felt as though God had abandoned her. Then, she'd gotten a position as an auror despite her herbology grades. It had renewed her faith, and made her believe once more that God was looking after her. She knew that many wizards didn't believe in a God, but she couldn't imagine a world without one. She didn't have a problem with people being atheists however, and it didn't change her opinion of anyone. Sara just knew that she couldn't see the world that way; it just wasn't who she was.

She smiled in the silence, a gentle wind pulling at her hair; her dark eyes drinking in all of the stars above. She looked across at Annabelle as she spoke again about Michael. "Where did you get married?" she asked, leaning on her knees once more. "Yeah, it's more of a Muggle thing I know, but I'm a Muggle Born, so it's just always been a part of my life." She'd never really spoken to a wizard about religion before. It was a new frontier for her. It dawned on her that it was very late; she'd been here quite a while. It hadn't seemed like it to her up until now. She leaned back on the sand, supporting herself on her elbows and looking out toward the lighthouse. She'd broken in there with Andy once. The memory made her smile.

 

[Annabelle Gimlish]

Annabelle nodded to show she understood; it wasn't unheard of for wizards and witches to be religious in one way or another, but it was certainly more common in Muggleborns than in any other blood group. That wasn't to say Annabelle put much stock in things like blood status or one blood type over another - it was just a statistic as all, it didn't really mean anything in the long run at least. The wind lightly pulled a piece of hair in front of her eyes and she smoothed it back while gazing up at the stars; thank Merlin she hadn't chosen a career in Astronomy - she couldn't remember any of the names of the constellations or star clusters for her life.

"Scotland. It was this ancient little church on the moors where Michael and all his family were christened." Annabelle said, a little saddened at the memory. It hadn't been a happy wedding - it was too somber, and the Catholic vows recited by the long-winded priest had taken up almost the whole ceremony. For most women their wedding day was the happiest day of their life, but for Annabelle it was every day afterwards with Michael by her side. "He was a Muggleborn too, you know. Always thought it made him not as good as everyone else, like he had something to prove for being born the son of a Muggle shepherding family; which was absolutely ridiculous. He could've been part troll and he still would've been just as talented as anyone else. He was, he was to me at least."

 

[Sara Moon]

Sara smiled absent-mindedly, glancing up at the starry sky. She often found herself in situations like this; talking with strangers. It was how she'd gotten to know Kiefer, and he was now one of her best friends. She just felt so bad for him at the moment; the whole thing with Ashe had been so hard on him. She hadn't seen him in a while, and the last time they'd met he'd been like a man half-dead. She'd need to check up on him. It had been the same with Penelope; a man whose real name she still didn't know. Though, they didn't keep in touch really, they just had a tendency to bump into one another. She like dAnnabelle though; she seemed nice, and Sara would've liked to know her. "So, what do you do?" she asked, pushing her long hair back from her face to look at Annabelle. It occured to her that she and Annabelle were exact physical opposites. Sara, with long, brown hair and brown eyes with a tan; Annabelle with short, almost white-blond hair and a clear, pale complexion. She reminded Sara a little of Kayden; the boy she'd had a crush on in her first year of Hogwarts. He had blue eyes too.

Sara grinned as she described the wedding. "That's so cute! I love weddings. Our family always had big ones, because we've a big family. My sister broke tradition though; my twin. She got married at her and her husband's house. I'd want a church I think, if my husband were a Catholic too. I know it can be boring for people, but I find mass so... relaxing, calming y'know." she replied, leaning back again. It must be so lovely to be married. She'd always thought that about her parents; they always had someone on their side. They were a team; equals. That had always appealed to Sara. "I've known muggle-borns like that. I've known purebloods who tried to make people feel that way. You're right, it is ridiculous. Within a couple of months at Hogwarts, I'd realised that we were all as inexperienced as each other. God, I miss it." she replied. Hogwarts had been wonderful; yes, bad things had happened, but it would always have a place in her heart.

 

[Annabelle Gimlish]

It was odd how this night had turned out; she had come here to cry and let out her sorrows, but ended up making a new friend instead. Funny how things turned out like that nowadays for Annabelle - she went in expecting one thing to happen and instead something else completely different happened instead. Maybe now it was that she was just becoming more aware to it happening after everything that had happened with Michael and her marriage. Regardless, she was happy that this night had happened the way that it had. "I actually just got a job at the ministry recently. Department of Sports; I'm with the Official Gobstones Club of New Zealand."

Annabelle hadn't mentioned her job to really anyone yet - not her parents, or her friends back home; she had been worried it would be only temporary and didn't want to build up anyone's expectations. Now it looked like a more permanent solution and there were plans to be made. She could buy a decent house with her salary, move out of the little tavern she had been occupying for some time now, maybe even get a new set of dress robes if she fancied to do so. All of the options were a bit overwhelming, and it frightened and excited Annabelle at the same time. "What is it that you do?" She asked, changing the focus back to Sara.

 

[Sara Moon]

Sara, as she'd gotten older, had found making friends was easy. Keeping in touch with them was harder, but friends were important. They were like family you chose. She loved her parents, she loved her siblings, but she found them difficult at times. She'd learnt to simply go along with whatever happened, regardless of her own plans or wishes. Fighting against things seemed pointless. Sometimes it was an easy choice to make; such as tonight. She'd seen Annabelle, so what choice did she have other than to talk to her, cheer her up. Sometimes it was harder; sometimes she couldn't stand by. Perhaps that was the point, not that she didn't fight anymore, but that she didn't fight everything anymore. Sara smiled as Annabelle mentioned her job. "Congratulations! I might see you around the ministry." she answered, without thinking.

Merlin! This was the one question she hadn't wanted to answer. She shouldn't have asked about Annabelle's job. that was stupid. how on Earth would she react, when Sara told her that her profession was the very one that her husband had given her life to? "Actually..." she began, unsure. She dug her fingers into the sand, and glanced nervously at her companion. "I'm an auror." she admitted, biting her bottom lip. She hoped Annabelle wouldn't think she'd lied to her, or deceived her. She simply hadn't wanted to upset her. Losing a loved one was hard, and Annabelle could well blame it on Michael's being an auror.

 

[Annabelle Gimlish]

Annabelle quirked her pale eyebrow, and then realized that Sara must have worked at the ministry as well. 'Duh. I wonder what it is she does? Maybe it's in my department; be nice having a familiar face there on my first couple of days.' She thought with an inward hope that she wouldn't be alone on her first day on the job. If she understood it correctly, as of now she was the only one working in her department, but hopefully once everything got started that interest would pick up. It would be nice to get back in the flow of things after such a long time in the grey areas of trying to start over again.

Her stomach bottomed out at Sara's answer, the very thought of what had happened to Michael happening to sweet Sara making Annabelle feel like she had just been dropped into a cold lake. She didn't know what to say exactly - what could she say? Congrats, you're in the exact profession that lead to my husband's death, nice knowing you! No, of course not. "Ah...wow. That's..."She trailed off, a bit unsure about how to finish. Terrible? Excruciatingly dangerous? The top job if you want to get yourself killed? "Great. That's really great Sara, it's quite a process to become an auror I hear."

 

[Sara Moon]

Sara could feel awkwardness creep into the conversation as Annabelle realised her occupation. Deciding it'd probably be best to downplay the situation. "Mostly, I do paperwork. I'm good at it; quite organised y'know. Disorganised life, organised files. My partner, Andy, does most of the practical stuff. We're a good team." There was no need for Annabelle to know that Sara wanted to become more involved with the fieldwork, nor did she need to know that she was actually involved in a case at that very moment.

She nodded. "It is yeah, but it's not as dangerous as it was in the past; a lot of it is mostly just enforcing the law." It was probably better to downplay the danger, considering Michael. "I'll help you get used to the Ministry; I've been there three years now. I just qualified." she ended. She smiled slightly, worried about what Annabelle was thinking. She knew that the other woman probably wasn't thrilled about her choice of job. In reality, it was hard. It was hard to be a good auror, and maintain your personal life. She hadn't been on a date in months.

 

[Annabelle Gimlish]

Annabelle swallowed hard to try and quell the Sahara Desert like dryness that was brewing in her throat. "I Imagine that's what I'll be doing in the beginning; paperwork I mean. Lots of work to be done and it'll just be me until things really get started." She scratched the back of her ear with her index finger and crossed and uncrossed her legs in an attempt to get more comfortable with the awkwardness creeping into their conversation. "I don't mind it much though - someone's got to do it eventually if the Ministry ever wants to get it set up. It's kinda exciting actually...just the prospect of it and all."

Annabelle quickly realized she was rambling to try and avoid the elephant in the room; she quickly averted her gaze to the ocean and blew a stray piece of hair out from in front of her eyes. She felt terrible for causing the conversation to head south so quickly - Merlin, this was exactly why people didn't talk to her anymore, everything automatically turned to her own tragedy instead of focusing on the good that was happening. Sara was an auror - part of the elite wizard police force, how fantastic was that? Annabelle swallowed and turned her eyes back to Sara.

"Ah...well, I don't want to harp, because I have a feeling you've heard this from your own family a billion times by now, but...be careful. I don't want to scare you, but...you have a target on your back now, you and anyone you're even remotely close to. You have to be on your guard even if you're just getting a drink at the pub, or visiting friends on holiday, or even just being in your own flat. That was our mistake - mine and Michael's; we thought we were safe in our own home. But someone who wants to hurt you...they won't spare any expense to try and hurt you. Please, for my sake, be careful."