Saw Your Face, Heard Your Name - Gotta Get With You

[Zander Ellison]

As she explained how she too was lonely, but that she got less lonely every day because of all the people in her life Zander couldn't help but shake his head and sigh heavily, he didn't have anyone, he only had her and Abby, there was no one that he could visit, no one he could randomly call up or who would call him up, his siblings the ones left scattered and gone and who didn't have a care in the world about him or how he was doing even though there was a part of his mind that was barely coping with any of it, he felt suddenly angry, suddenly jealous and just let go of her hand even as he listened to her continue on, explaining that she liked that he kept her company and that it was okay to be lonely every so often, but his loneliness was clearly different from hers, he spoke to empty spaces and felt went to bed unable to sleep and crying in almost frustration over emotions so overwhelming.

Zander sighed heavily, "I don't think our loneliness is the same Sanctuari," he admitted, reaching out again and lightly taking her hand in his again, the thin layer of sweat coating his hand, the almost perceivable shaking, "I don't have anyone else to turn to, I have you and Abby," he listed with a heavy tone of sadness, he sounded utterly defeated and he was trying his best to not just break down, holding it all together because it was what he'd always done, "I don't have anyone anymore," he sighed rubbing his eyes tiredly with his hands, he felt like he always just had the weight of the world on his shoulders and nothing seemed to lighten it at all. Zander sighed heavily, the breaths coming out in small shudders, he didn't want to ruin this evening by crying in front of her, but he just didn't know what was coming over him. He wanted the comfort of someone and suddenly the hand was not enough, he wanted for the first time in a long while, he just wanted a hug, but he had no idea how to say that, how to express that.
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[Sanctuari Ellison]

the mood of their first date began to shift rather quickly, but Sanctuari had no regret for it. She wanted to be someone that Zander could indeed count on, and often times she felt he kept himself from getting to that point. The brunette, upon hearing his sigh looked at him with concern in her rosy irises. She nodded at what he said, perhaps he was correct. Sanctuari wouldn't argue with him, as in her mind everyone experienced different degrees of loneliness, and everyone coped differently. If she wasn't mistaken sometimes she wondered if Zander didn't cope at all. She listened to what he said, his tone becoming filled with more sadness than she'd heard him let it before, and her brows furrowed gently as she watched him seemingly dissolve.

He was rubbing his eyes and Ri wondered if he was crying, or about it. She wouldn't judge him for it of course, it was alright to cry, and to lean on other's for support. Sanctuari couldn't be a mind reader, and she wasn't able to tell exactly what he was feeling, but she felt an overwhelming need to comfort him. Nervously she breathed in before moving in front of him, off the bench. She kneeled on the ground, not to bothered by if her tights would become dirty. Without much hesitance or thought Sanctuari pulled Zander forward. The two had never particularly had much contact, but Sanctuari felt that a hug would be just what he needed. How long had it been since he'd gotten a hug for comfort anyways? She knew he could easily push her away and she wouldn't be spurned by it. But for now she held him close, bringing his head to her shoulder in hopes of being a good friend.

 

[Zander Ellison]

Zander didn't know why his emotions all seemed to be rushing forward he had spent so long keeping them at bay until they had become almost numb, but spending this time with her, the fun they'd had, the fact hints of a real smile had graced his lips more than once for the first time since Peyton had left when he wasn't faced with his daughter. There seemed to be nothing stopping it, stopping them and Zander didn't know what to do, so much of the time he just felt so lonely, so numb and with a general sense of nothing within him, and he was figuring that something was wrong, and yet he couldn't do anything, nothing seemed to work, not even his daughter any more, and he just didn't know what to do. The man didn't know how to cope and he was just trying his hardest to, he was trying his absolute best, and he constantly feared what might happen if Abby left, more so than Sanctuari currently, because there was a difference between his daughter and this woman. He didn't mean to bring down the mood but it was as if like wave the emotions and mind numbing sadness he felt sudden graced themselves on his features.

Zander didn't know how to express that what he wanted was a hug, some comfort, something more than just what he was feeling in his hand, the oddness and the nice feeling of that, but the man was just staring at the ground with his hand at his eyes, rubbing them as he just tried to figure out what he was feeling, trying to figure what was happening, and Sanctuari seemed to pick on the signals he appeared to bring him in for a hug, he could even bring himself to put his arms around her, just put his head on her shoulders and closed his eyes for a moment, breathing in the comfort and her sweet scent. Slowly he reached around with his arms and just returned the hug, not remembering the last time he'd been given a hug for comfort and not him giving a hug to someone else giving comfort to them. He gripped her tightly, a vague desperation in his touch, feeling his entire body shudder with unshed tears he couldn't even bring himself to shed in this moment, but just enjoying the comfort of another person for once, his mind remembered all he had lost, his parents, his eight younger siblings progressively since his parents death and Peyton when she had meant the world to him, the light in his slowly dwindling life, all that he had lost, all that he had left him and he'd just always needed to carry on, being strong for who was left, but he feared what would happen when the few remaining people in his life finally left. Zander needed this hug, he needed to cling to her like his life depended on it, he needed to feel like he wasn't alone in all of it, Zander didn't want to be alone but he didn't know how to not be, he didn't know what was wrong, or where life had just gone so wrong for him.

The man felt himself almost half sob, but he shook his head, "I'm sorry," he muttered repeating the words over and over, he was trying to compose himself, his mind and let go of her, but he couldn't manage it, "I don't," he started but he couldn't say anything else, and he just felt so bad that he couldn't just be strong for her.
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[Sanctuari Ellison]

Surprise was an understatement for the emotion that crept into Sanctuari as she felt Zander holding her tightly. The man had never been one to hug, hold hands, not even really high fives with her - and she had come to first accept it was because they were friends. Sanctuari came from a culture that was all about hugs and family love and such, so she often understood that those of a different culture might not be as touchy feely, and someone like Zander even less so. When she felt the shake of his body from maybe a sob or a harsh breath she held him to her closer, her on pink orbs closed tightly, savoring the moment. Perhaps there was a small part of Sanctuari whom thought she too needed this contact. Since losing her husband things had been rough, but she did not count on anyone but herself to pull her through things. On the outside it was easy to see the happy-go-lucky her she was trying to convey, but on the inside she was in pain. It seemed to her though that she wasn't in nearly as much pain as Zander, and thus she said nothing to him until he spoke.

The brunette cooed to him comfortingly. "No, Zander don't apologize it's okay." She spoke with a hushed voice, her thumb stroking the part of his back it lay over. She did not want him to hide this. If they weren't meant to be as lovers or as a relationship Ri at least knew that they would have a strong friendship, and she wanted him to trust her and lean on her. She nuzzled her chin a bit farther onto his shoulder, getting herself closer. "It's okay. I'm here for you and I'm not going anywhere." She spoke in a calm, quiet tone - much unlike her normal cheerful, verbose mannerisms.

 

[Zander Ellison]

Zander hadn't been helped in such a manner in countless years, everything in his life was all he'd had for years, and so much about his life had just in his mind been getting worse and worse, he didn't want to think about why suddenly after so many years of stoically taking all the hits he was breaking down, unable to control his own body as it demanded the comfort of another. He didn't know if this would've happened without the introduction of Sanctuari in his life but he couldn't help but think that she'd come at exactly the right time. Without her, perhaps nothing in his life would've changed, but with her in his life he couldn't help but think of how much she probably was improving it, he'd not really spoken to many people his own or around his own age in a long while, he hadn't thought of going on a date of any kind since Peyton, he hadn't ever thought this would be his life, and with her, he knew that despite the earliness of this relationship even if they just remained something like friends it would be good to have her in his life.

As she spoke he just shrugged, because as much as he was beginning to realise he needed this it didn't really make it better, he was supposed to be the strong one, he had to be strong to take care of his daughter, he couldn't become an unfit parent and lose her, and given this was his biggest fear in life, he just needed to be strong. The man nodded to her words, he didn't know whether or not to trust them, but despite all that he had lost, Zander had accepted her into his life and he was honestly hopeful that she would never once turn her back on him, unless she had a good reason to do so. Zander took a deep breath and pulled away, reluctantly letting his grip on her loosen and he leaned out, just meeting her gaze with a heavy sigh, "I'm fine," he said, not believing his own words as the fell from his lips the continued heavy wet of sadness emitted in his tone as he said it. He didn't know what else to say, he'd almost poured out his heart to someone that he'd only recently come to get to know, "Being a single parent is just lonely work," he nodded as an explanation, trying to brush over how he'd held her, everything that seemed to flow out of him as he'd just tried to find comfort in her arms, "More tea?" he asked.
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[Sanctuari Ellison]

Sanctuary couldn't believe she had in a way ignored pain that was obvious in Zander's life. It wasn't her business, that was what she had continued to tell herself. She knew that it wasn't right, and that she should always help someone who needs it, but with Zander she couldn't push the issue. Perhaps she feared what she might find - hell he could have been a retired death eater, or a member of that new group, the Scitorari. The brunette felt him loosen his grip on her and leaned back, her thoughts now on him as he was - not what had been or would be with the two of them.

Sanctuari wanted to fight his admission of being fine. The redness in his brown eyes told her he was a terrible liar, but it didn't mean that she should harass him for a truth. When he was ready he would speak it to her. Sanctuari gave a light smile. "It doesn't have to be anymore. I'll help you whenever you need it okay!" She moved from her spot on the ground, now fully away from him and dusting off her knees. "You know, more tea sounds lovely Zander." She offered a hand to him as if to help him from his seat, her eyes soft on him. What an interesting man he was - and Sanctuari couldn't help but feel she needed this kind of interesting in her life.

 

[Zander Ellison]

Zander was definitely glad when she didn't fight him on fact that he wasn't okay, and it was very visible currently that he wasn't alright, but he didn't want to bog down this evening in any of his emotions since they would only serve to push her away, after all if him just being his adult and he had pushed away most of his family, he had just so little left in his life and she was one of the few good things he didn't want to scare her off at all. He knew spilling his guts to her about how he was feeling would draw her in and he wasn't even sure he was capable of doing that, and he didn't want to do it with her. The man just looked at her as she dusted off her knees and he was a little relieved from the fact she was no longer close to him, the need for attachment he wasn't sure trumped his anxiousness and slight tenseness whenever someone reached out to touch him, he was split between them and he was definitely more interested in just moving it along, and though grateful to her even suggestion that he could rely on her more the man didn't know if he would ever be able to.

The man just stood up, taking her hand in his as she held it out to him, he took his still mostly full cup and carried the now cold beverage back the kitchen, he let go of her hand as he began to make more tea, letting the motions he'd been through a hundred times just flow through him as he made the tea, he turned to her and gave what little parts of a real smile that he could, "Do you want to stay over tonight or not?" he hadn't had anyone stay over for ages, not since Peyton, no person had made it passed getting to introduce themselves to him and yet here he was with a woman offering her a place to sleep, he would offer her the spare room, but perhaps he was suppose to offer her a place on his bed, he just didn't want to do that because he didn't sleep and most nights he just lay awake almost crying as every minute ticked by. The man just thought it would be the best thing to ask and was therefore asking it.
​

 

[Sanctuari Ellison]

The two hands joined and there was a huge amount of graciousness in her smile. He was coming a long way with her and Sanctuari was glad she could be there for Zander - he deserved someone. The brunette woman walked with him and gave no protests as he dropped her hand to make himself more tea. It was his next words that brought her mind from the thoughts of their relationship to the acuality of it. Sanctuari was caught off guard to say the least and for a moment she nearly jumped at the thought. She'd been sleeping alone for a long time now - and missed the closeness of a human body. Knowing that in the night, there was nothing to fear because she wasn't alone. However, something gave her pause.

Sanctuari sat the cup down on the counter and gave a gently smile to Zander. "You know I'd like to but, uhm, I think I need to pass. Still getting used to sleeping in my own bed, you know?" She wanted to convey more to Zander, but the words wouldn't come. "Actually, maybe I should hit the hay. I'm a bit tired and still have a few things to do before bed. But seriously i had such a wonderful time, Zander. I would love to do this again." The brunette crossed the room and placed a hand overtop his, and swiftly leaned in, planting a chaste kiss on the brunette's cheek. "Have a good night." She whispered, before turning, deciding it best she leave now. Something told her in her heart that staying would only cause problems - and her hesitance drove her out the door quickly.