Hello and welcome to your second edition of the new and spectacular 'Rumor Has It' Gossip Magazine. And we know how much everyone loves gossip, with whispers, and no sir, we are not gone. For we are many. So here you have it. Read, be shocked, and enjoy.
T H E S U P E R L A T I V E S
H A V E Y O U H E A R D ?
</FONT></COLOR>H A V E Y O U H E A R D ?
<COLOR color="#000"><FONT font="Verdana">We know the results of the superlatives, so let's talk about them shall we? Let's see, someone who played Quidditch won the most Reckless Flier? How fitting! Heidi Longbottom can't stay on a broom for more than five minutes. Like that is attractive. Boys, you know how to compare. Two people won Best Dressed? Oh please, we know the only reason why the two won. One is a Part-Veela, so throw on a barrel and nothing else, she still looks good. Vanity isn't everything, Snow. The other one, she can change herself into anything she wants! How do we know if she was the one that really won that award? See my point? I find it hilarious that a Hufflepuff won the award to most likely to take over the world. I wanted to get a personal quote but well, quite frankly that guy scares me like he does everyone else. Cut the hair, please? Ha! Kate Moon won Drama Queen. How fitting! She raised hell when I pointed it out! Maybe this opened the eyes of the students that voted. Sorry Drama Queen, everyone thinks that title fits you. Get over it, and keep bringing the drama. It is hilarious to us all. Her little boyfriend Stefan Archer got Biggest flirt (hanging around girls all of the time, no wonder, that player!), Drama King (another fitting title! Just one thing after another!) and most accident prone. His whole life is an accident, so no wonder. Teacher's pet, our local and beloved (not) werewolf! Well, I suppose she could be a pet. Riley brighten someone's day? With that messed up hair, it could bring laughter to everyone, so I suppose that works! I'd talk about the other ones, but they won't be here to read it, so no need to go on about the superlatives. Don't be mad, guys, if you didn't like your awards. Just remember, it is what everyone thinks about you!
T H E B R A N C H S H O W S D R A M A [ul][li]Rumor has it, Bella White has done the dirty- but the question is, with who? Watch out boys - with her boyfriend now gone, she seems to be on the prowl.</LI>H A V E Y O U H E A R D ? The cellulite wonder-girl (also known as 'Branch') proved the point that was made in everyone's favorite mag's first edition. Kate Moon made quite the scene - one that could only be fit for a drama queen - yelling out for merlin knows what - for the whole wizarding world to hear. I don't think anyone is quite sure what was said, as everyone was probably blocking their ears from the horrible noise that comes from the one and only Branch. Next time, do us all a favor and keep your Hufflepuff hole shut. Your voice is almost as bad as your's and your sister's singing voices - yikes, cover your ears before they bleed! Oh, and a tip for the future? See a nurse about your cellulite - galloping gargoyles girl, even muggles can get it right! S E E R S L O V E S C U B S H A V E Y O U H E A R D ? Everyone knows about the wolf wanna-be and everyone knows about the fresh out of school Professor. But does everyone know that Stratis may be two-timing Rowan? Rumor has it, Stratis and Professor Le Fey have something going on. A little birdie has informed us that the two have been seen leaving the school grounds together, holding hands, and just never seem to be apart. Minoas just seems to dig the older women! I know that Le Fey must be feeling old, what with all her friends still in school, but surely there is some rule against this? This could be a reason why Minoas is getting such good grades. Sleeping with a Professor surely has it's benefits! And thats not to say he's sleeping with all the Professors- Merlin knows he's a slut, but I daresay Professor Styx has more taste than that. But if there was anyone to be more scared of than Styx - it would be Le Fey. The way she dresses, the way she looks - I wouldn't be surprised if she was putting some voodoo curse on the other Professors to make sure her toy-boy gets good marks. Everyone already knows to watch out for the older-women loving - werewolf wannabe Gryffindor, but now there's another person in this school to watch out for! Yikes. A N E W T R A M P H A V E Y O U H E A R D ? Milena and Faxen, the ones that were competing for the biggest flirt, leading on guys have new competition. Mute! Well, the girl that could never talk is now talking to where she has two boys by their family jewels. Ain't that something? I feel so sorry for that Head Boy, having to deal with the Mute's (we need a new name for her, let's refer her as Banshee) issues which never seem to end. Sorry Faxen, your lover seems to have fallen under the spell of the Banshee, having followed her out of the Great Hall last year when I made things known. Banshee is becoming the newest school sl*t, being passed around from male to male. That is sort of gross anyhow. Bet she is only doing it because the Head Boy won't even blink toward her because of his admiration is directed to someone with more personality in her thumb than Banshee. However the Head Boy seems to be stuck in the friend zone, whereas he had stuck Banshee in the friend zone. Hey, Dymetris, you are a player, why not juggle Banshee and Faxen? Maybe have a contest to see which one gets knocked up first! I have my money on Banshee, so long as she has something to cover that disaster of a face. M A N W H * R E I S C R O W N E D H A V E Y O U H E A R D ? Oh Dymetris, you sly dog. You broke a poor innocent Hufflepuff's heart. But, were you really thinking? You quickly dumped Cosette for Faxen, only to then move on. All in the space of a few months? What are we going to do with the boys in this school? After Dymetris was seen running out after our newly-named Banshee, Rumor Has It, nothing was spoken to Faxen from there on out. Maybe it was something the Head Boy had said? Or Sapphire had written? (That is if she wasn't talking at that time.) It seems this boy had ruined two young ladies' hearts just before the Summer Break - no summer lovin' for them I guess. Perhaps Dymetris needs to hand over some advice of his heart-breaking ways to the couple of boys below. Read on, dear students, you will not be disappointed. H I D D E N P U F F S O R I D I O T S ? H A V E Y O U H E A R D ? We've all seen her by now, that little pink fairy princess that made it to Slytherin by some mistake, or something that we are not seeing (two-faced perhaps?). She is seen hanging around that little loser, Luthor Silverback. Has anyone ever heard of their name and family? Doubt it. They aren't pure-bloods for sure, and neither is Epiphany. So, why do you think they are using the word 'mudblood' a lot? Compensating for something, perhaps? This little Epiphany seems to have a little gang of Hufflepuffs too, so maybe she wishes she were one. Hufflepuff is a good house, have a bunch of fairy princesses in there! Though come on, if these little first years are trying to scare us older students, no one is going to take them seriously. Really. They can't even save themselves from third years, or even second years. Bottom of the food chain, you all. Stop pretending you are the bees-knees, and stop thinking everyone is going to fear you. No one fears first years. Get real. I say, everyone in the school should teach these first years (and all others!) just what their places are. W H O I S T H I S ? H A V E Y O U H E A R D ? I don't know about anyone else, but when I think of Robbie Masters...well... I don't really know who the hell he is. But, never fear readers, as there was research done on this stuttering imbecile. Perhaps his stutter was the reason he wasn't made Head Boy? Or even a Prefect for that matter! I know there are a few students, but in Hufflepuff, merlin, you have to be pretty bad to not get Prefect! I'm surprised this repugnant seventeen year old is even Quidditch Captain! Anyone keen for a Hufflepuff loss this year? I don't know how his newly-found girlfriend can even put up with looking at something that grotesque for that long. I bet, this Ravenclaw lad - sorry, lady just feels sorry. What a sucker. Seems like this dude should team up with Price, maybe between the two of them the can snag a female. Maybe. Good luck boys - girls, start running! B A D G E S A N D N O B A D G E S H A V E Y O U H E A R D ? We know those new prefects: Romaine, Jake, Mylie, Cosette, Sara, Isaia, Karah and Georgiana. We don't need last names, but boy do we have things to say about them, and those that did not make it. So, let's focus on the Prefects, shall we? Romaine, has anyone heard of him lately? Not much, but that goofball must have been doing someone favors in order to win that badge. And then there is Jake, the one that was being led on by a girl, Milena. That boy must have been up the same alley with Romaine because I doubt that either make great grades. It isn't like they have much going on in their lives. Now let's move on to Mylie, the unsocial Hufflepuff that never should have been. There is something odd about her, but I can't place my finger on it. She has to be weird to be hanging around that Hades freak. If she is trying to fit in, she definitely is not working it well. Sorry, girl, you won't win affections like that. Now Cosette, other than her lack of a personality, there isn't much to say about her except that she will never get a boyfriend thinking that she is so interesting when she isn't. Let's give her a mirror so she can date herself. Moving on to Sara Moon, the one that might as well be the twin of the girl that wasn't good enough to get Prefect (no wonder because of how awful she looked and how 'sick' and dramatic she was). Why did Sara get Prefect? It is a mystery to this day! Now onto Isaia, the third Prefect in the family of siblings. Oh my, Merlin's beard, it came to no surprise. Bunch of cheaters. Now onto the Gryffindors! There is the lovely yet borderline between normal brained and slow with intelligence down into the negatives. I guess Professor Kingsley felt sorry for her, because she basically had nothing left except her looks. Honey, whatever you are, looks don't last, and neither will your love life. And then, at last, there is Georgiana. Doubt the uggo will look at this, she ain't even here! Now for those that did not get made prefect, there is Kendra, the twin of Romaine. How did you let your dimbo of a brother get the badge, unless...you are even worse. Sure don't even look nearly as pretty. Like anyone will love her anyway. We have already done Robbie in another section, and Kate Moon, who else is there to pick on that did not get prefect? Not many, that is for sure. H A V E Y O U H E A R D T H E S E R U M O R S ? [li]Speaking of Hufflepuff fights, a certain bug made a orphan girl cry! I thought Hufflepuffs were nice?[/li][/ul] | A F A I N T E R H A V E Y O U H E A R D ? Here's an interesting story for you all, about the scum, not-so-cute Gryffindor Nephy and her romantic interest, scaredy-cat, Ravenclaw Andy Hydran. Just to give you a backstory: Nephy is a bit of a freak ; Andy is scared of anything that moves. Or breathes. Or is inanimate. Just anything really. After reading this delightful magazine of updates, go jump out at him and give yourself a good laugh! Merlin knows you will probably all need it soon. Back onto topic, what Nephy hoped would be an magical meeting, turned into disaster. Get this - the scared boy actually fainted when this young kitten hugged him - perhaps she was moving too fast? At any point, the Ravenclaw had to be taken to the Hospital Wing, where he has been for Merlin knows how many times! This poor little boy then fainted at the site of none-other than our resident, fatherless giant. Seems to me, girls may just be a little too much for him? Perhaps this is us seeing into the future - look out boys, Andy's on the prowl! C O U G A R S A M O N G S T U S H A V E Y O U H E A R D ? You know that professor, the one with the striking blue eyes, Professor Black? You won't believe what I saw! I saw her, wearing a rather provocative shirt and a short skirt, luring this seventh year boy (I won't mention names but I don't think he was going in there for a lesson, just saying) into her office with a smirk on her lips. Isn't she married? And she is having an affair with a student? Maybe he was a young librarian, but Professor Le Fey isn't the only one that is loving the young blood. At least Elvera had gone to school in this century! Professor Black, hm, anyone want to guess her age? Thirty? Please, she has to be sixty. I believe she has grandchildren from what I have been hearing. Maybe it is her prime or something, must have seen some wrinkles or noticed that she had a cottage cheese arse. Whatever caused her to become a cougar (maybe that's why her animagus is a cat), it had to have something to do with her rapidly aging. F O R E V E R A L O N E H A V E Y O U H E A R D ? You read the story last time about the sex-addict Yerik Rhys Price who yelled at the Banshee in Hufflepuff. Well, as it turns out- she can deny the lust. And I don't blame her - the Ravenclaw looks like he was hit by the Hogwarts Express multiple times and then set on fire. And if his foul face wasn't enough to send everyone running, as most of you will remember, he likes to shout obscure things to girls. What a freak! This leaves just a couple of the many reasons of why Price can't get a girl. This boy obviously doesn't have girls lining up to date him, and he can't even get a Hufflepuff to like him! I mean, how hard could it be to get one of them? Most people would think that with his Beater build, he could be an attractive guy. But move away from the body, and up to the face, and BAM. The hideous face hits you like a bludger to the head. Oh Yerik, did something bad happen to you, or were you just born ugly? F L A K E S A N D H A D E S H A V E Y O U H E A R D ? Professor Snow, the kindest professor that wouldn't hit back if you smacked her with a beater's bat, and Professor Styx, the man that seems to have a stick shoved up his arse, sideways, are hanging out an awful lot, have you all noticed this? They tend to sit together, and when they do socialize with anyone, they are always together. Well, this comes to no surprise, they must be dating! While Professor Snow seems to be the delicate type, someone that resembles a fallen angel going after a complete and total d*ck, is beyond me. I don't know which one is blind, but I hope that Professor Snow can whip his arse into shape, unless he is into that sort of thing then we don't exactly want that seen. Gross! All I can say, folks, is that we may see either a worse Hufflepuff Head of House, or a better Slytherin Head of House. Either one gets that stick out, or gives the other a backbone, one can only wait until it actually does happen. C A N ' T C A R R Y A T U N E H A V E Y O U H E A R D ? Alright, how in Merlin's good pants, is Sara Moon the president of Glee Club? Seriously? It just seems like a "What were they thinking?!" moment. Anyone notice how the twin of the diseased girl, didn't even perform at the Yule Ball? Her sister did - and two other nobodies, but not the leader! Perhaps she was just named leader as a joke - or even because whoever made the mistake felt sorry for her. Her voice sounds worse than the screech of a baby on helium. This girl doesn't have star quality. She really doesn't have anything going for her. Not smarts, or good-looks. Usually it gets divided between siblings, but neither of them seem to have gotten any. What were wrong with your parents? At the Yule Ball, not even the vice-president performed. What is wrong with this school? Get better singers I say! W O L F N E E D S A L I F E H A V E Y O U H E A R D ? So, we all know about the Head Girl, Briar Rowan, how proud she is about getting an infection that will make her the scum of society. Anyway, we are going to do another section on her, why? Because her reactions are hilarious seeing as all of this is true. I heard from the grapevine that Damian Metzger hated the girl because of how she never let the opposite team touch the Quaffle, or any of her own teammates, so she was passed for Captain. Oh I heard how upset she was, and can we even blame Damian? The funniest part is, he picked a guy that can't be found without a cauldron cake, and someone that was worried about her hair in the game! That must really say something, he must have loathed the hell out of Briar. Who can blame him though, she is a freaking werewolf that cannot hang on to anything. It is a wonder how she was even Head Girl. Why Riley was not picked was beyond me. Riley, despite her outcry of attention, is a much better candidate for the badge. The Match seems to be weary around Briar too, perhaps because of how she is suddenly single after she was spent yelling at some guy that was presumably her boyfriend, oh, ex boyfriend. I'm glad he saw the light and gave up the dog. Her leash needs to be tightened, because she is a rabid dog on prowl. Professors, can you all protect us please? None of us want to sink as low as the Head Girl that is already becoming a disappointment to the school and get bitten and advertise it like it was the best thing since sliced bread. And she hates Slytherins, how typical. Perhaps it was because of Jaden, but I doubt that, everyone knows that Slytherins hate her, but for just cause. And guess what, the opinions range into Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws. Everyone hates you, Briar, so why not just leave the school and save yourself the embarrassment. H A V E Y O U H E A R D T H E S E R U M O R S ? [ul][li]They seem to be starting so young these days. Raziel Kim has asked at least one person to call him queer. Really? Good look for the first year Ravenclaw! [li]A Ravenclaw and Gryffindor went ahead and lost house points before the term even started. Way to go Tamalia Kaster and Makaylah Makwa. Go hunting Gryffinclaws! [li]Good Merlin, Sapphire Bookchild has a voice! Her 'friends' may appear to be happy for her - but the bet is she was probably liked better when she was silent-now she won't stop talking! [li]Wonder who would win a match-up between a Slytherin and Hufflepuff? Most people would usually lean towards Slytherin, but with Huffies' Tara Sitara already engaged to Slytherin's Lilith Le Fey's boyfriend, we're gonna go with Hufflepuff on this one. Reowr. <LI>[li]A lion cub pissed off an Orphan giant. Uh-oh, earthquakes may come a'rolling![/li][/ul] |
So there you have it kids. Owl us with any rumors - whether its something you've seen, or something you want to spread, we want it all!
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