Ridiculous Reports | HM Meeting Y40/S1

[Poppy Perkins]

Poppy could hardly believe how quickly the semester was going. It was like she had blinked and time had flown by. But that just meant it was a perfect time to gather all the members of the paper for some fun and quick writing exercises. Everyone was busy working on their assigned articles but it was important to take breaks now and again. She had made sure everyone knew to be here this afternoon and had even gone so far as to bribe them with snacks. The center of their main meeting table had been stacked with pastries of all kinds of assorted shapes, sizes, and flavors. Surely there was something there for everyone. Poppy had also made sure to put out a piece of paper and a pencil in front of everyone's seat.

She had just put down the last pencil when she noticed people were starting to arrive. "Hi everyone! Grab a snack and take a seat. We're going to be doing a fun exercise for today's meeting." she said and waited for everyone to find a spot. Poppy smiled when everyone seemed ready. "Well first I'd like to say a few words. I just want to thank all the new members of the club for joining and doing such good work already." she began. "And I also want to thank Estella for being a wonderful assistant editor and helping me keep everything moving smoothly." she finished before picking up one of the pieces of paper. "But for today's activity I want you to use your imagination and write a fake new story, headline included, and I want it to be as silly and ridiculous as you can make it. Just the paper and write it down. Once you're done, turn it into be or Estella and we'll share them and vote for the best one." she explained and looked hopeful that they'd enjoy this. "Get writing!"

Out of Character:

Feel free to add your 'article' as a note in your post!

Also thanks Rowan for the idea!

 

[Charlie Helkovaara]

Charlie made his way down to the meeting room with his bag, his notes and journals. He was pleased to be able to stay on the paper, and he was honestly he was even more pleased that Poppy had agreed to let him do an article on music. He spotted the treats as he walked in and picked up a few before taking his seat. He pulled out his notebook and scribbled down a few thoughts as everyone got situated. He set his pen down, looking to the editor with a smile as she talked. He nodded at the assignment, thinking it sounded like fun. He got a new page and wrote out his story, turning it in with a smile.

Spoiler: Story

Shapeshifting Professor!
by Charlie Helkovaara

As many of you are aware, there has been a recent, very significant change to staff. Professor Kalif Styx- the last Slytherin head of house- has been replaced, by a much younger, much fresher faced Professor Noelle Maxwell- yes, I know, another Maxwell.

But is that really the case? There have long been rumors about Kalif Styx. He's not human, he's immortal, he's secretly a lizard with a human mask. But I am here to tell you the truth! Professor Styx is really a shapeshifter who has finally shed his last reptilian skin and emerged brand new, hiding in his old position- he couldn't be bothered to change his curriculum after all. He did decide to give the head of house position to Professor Angel Castillo- and lets face it, has anyone else ever wandered if the new haloed head of house has secrets he's not sharing?

Don't say we didn't warn you, though for your safety, its probably best to keep this beautiful secret to yourself. After all, the ex-Professor Styx could be anyone- he could be me, or the house elf sneaking by, or hiding in that painting you pass by every day on your way to breakfast.

 

[Aaliyah Chun]

Aaliyah entered the room where the first HM meeting would be held. She was excited about it and was one of the first few ones to come in early. She picked up some snacks before taking her seat. The meeting began and she was quite excited about the exercise they were about to do. Once Poppy gave the go signal, she quickly began to write hers down. It was not much but it was something, considering she was still new.

Spoiler

Forest Patroller by Aaliyah Chun

It's just my first year and already many things already happened. From Quidditch practices to arguments in the hallways, there is drama at every turn. Word on the grapevine is the staff change also attracts attention. Slytherin Head of House and DADA professor has retired. Some are relieved, for reasons I will never know. However, this is not about Prof. Styx but about the newest addition, Prof. Noelle Maxwell.

I've seen the man and he looks a little older than our head boy. I did my research and he just graduated from Hogwarts three years ago. It's no wonder the professor knew where to do strict patrols. He seemed to be building a reputation for catching wandering students in the forbidden forest. In just one semester, he already caught four students.

Consider this a warning, be on the lookout for this professor if you ever plan to take a trip to the forest. Or better yet, don't go there.

 

[Giulia Alcott]

Giulia still didn't feel totally comfortable in Hogwarts Monthly, but she was fairly sure it was one of the best ways she could go about improving her English. So she had come along to the meeting, relieved to understand more of it than she had the previous year. She liked the club leader a lot, and was pleased that another older girl she thought was quite nice would be moving in as assistant editor. It took a while to think of a silly headline she could write about, and Giulia knew her article wasn't very long but at least she had tried.

Spoiler

Conversation Confusion at Hogwarts
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Hogwarts New Zealand was thrown into chaos today as a spell caused mayhem among the student body. Authorities are yet to determine the source of the curse that has been plaguing the student body, but current suspects are students hoping to avoid having to study for exams. The entire school has, for the past 24 hours, been afflicted with a curse causing all students and Professors to speak different languages, making it near impossible for anyone to communicate properly. Even those who speak multiple languages have been unable to translate for others, as the language they speak out loud isn't a match for any of the languages they understand. Aurors are currently investigating multiple suspects, and hoping for a break in the case soon.​

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