Closed Pieces of the Past

[Vivian Brackenstall]

Warm summer family barbecues filled with chatter and laughter were not something Vivian had ever expected to become part of his normal life, but here he was. While it had been a little overwhelming at first, he had come to cherish the times he got to spend with his "new” extended family, though it had been so long now that he could hardly call them new anymore. The twins would be off to Hogwarts in just a couple of years, and he had watched every moment of his half-sisters growing up with a bittersweet joy. Their childhoods had been everything his hadn't, and as glad as he was for everything they had, Vivian's own inner child longed for the same.

And by and large, that was down to the Morales family. Ever since his mum had met Ignacio he had seen her happy, for what he realised was the first time in his life. She had time now, energy, support, all the things you needed to be a dedicated mother. His heart ached thinking of how young she had been when he was born, how alone and unsupported. At his age, she had already had a six year old, struggling by herself to pay the bills. It reminded him with a strange pang of Tristan, trying to make the best of a bad situation co-parenting with Dominique. Parenting was so much harder than he had ever thought, when he was a lonely child.

Thankfully though, his sisters would never know that life. They had a mum who could afford to stay home with them, and all the aunts and uncles they could ever wish for. One of whom they were here today celebrating, to Vivian's both happiness and discomfort. Flavio and Kauri were perfect for one another, anyone with eyes could see that, and Vivian was unbelievably glad for the happiness they had found. Two of the nicest people he had ever known, and they had managed to find one another. There was something special about that.

The part that was less special for him personally was what that meant for his family. Kauri had been coming along to gatherings for years now, and they had done an excellent job of tactically avoiding one another. But now he was dating Tristan again, and this whole situation was becoming unavoidably permanent. There was a point where things had to be addressed, and he had reached it. He hadn't even tried to invite Tristan to this barbecue and already knew he wouldn't be bringing him to the wedding, but if Kauri and Flavio were married, and things with Tristan continued to work out, they wouldn't be able to avoid this forever.

It was difficult to get time with one of the guests of honour but Vivian lucked out - he had taken a step away to have a smoke and gather his thoughts, and spotted Kauri nearby seemingly also taking a breather. He extinguished his cigarette before approaching, feeling guilty that it was too late to do anything about the smell. Kauri was leaned against one of the fences of the almost obnoxiously charming cottage, and Vivian moved to lean near him, not quite able to keep the nerves out of his voice. “Can we talk?”

 

[Kauri Morales-Tipene]

Despite having been the one to pop the question, Kauri's engagement still didn't feel entirely real to him. He kept toying with the ring on his finger, the two of them having bought a ring for Kauri too so they could match. It all felt new and exciting, and right. Kauri had never been so sure of anything as he was that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Flavio. He felt seen, cherished, secure, loved, and did his best to give all that back to the other man. What they had was special, he was sure of it, and committing to that felt right in every way.

Marrying into a big family was unlike Kauri's own home experience, but he loved every second. The Morales' were so friendly and inviting in every way, and he had been made to feel like part of the family before he and Flavio had even been dating. There was something so special about such a big group of people who all loved one another so much, and were so willing and eager to love newcomers as well. It made him feel at home, and informed how he saw Flavio in so many ways.

There was only one hiccup in the celebration, and it wasn't any of Flavio's direct relatives. Kauri had done his absolute best to avoid Vivian at larger family gatherings, but he didn't think he could get away with not inviting the older man to his engagement party. It would be too obvious a snub, and... despite everything, more and more Kauri found himself wanting to set aside their differences. He didn't think it would ever entirely stop hurting, his first love having been such a lie, but it was more than a decade past, and he couldn't hold on to the hurt forever. And in the end, Vivian had been hurt by Tristan, more even than Kauri had, though he hadn't realised it at the time. Vivian's outburst in seventh year had been... telling, and cast the situation in an entirely new light.

Still, Kauri had never brought himself to actually talk to the older man about it, and he didn't know how to go about raising the subject now. Was it even really worth digging up such a deep hurt a decade later? He had been content to let the matter lie and politely avoid each other at family gatherings, until he had heard through the grapevine that Vivian was back together with Tristan. A simple bit of news that had thrown all Kauri's composure right out the window. How was he supposed to let the past be the past, when Vivian had brought it right back to their door?

He was grateful, at least, that Vivian hadn't tried to bring Tristan to the engagement party, had been wise enough not to even ask. Kauri had grown up enough that he knew he would be able to set that boundary, but it had been a relief not having to. After a couple of hours of congratulations and handshakes and cheerful conversation, Kauri stepped away for a moment of fresh air. It wasn't often that he needed space from any large group of people, but at some point the amount of happiness had gotten overwhelming, something he never thought was possible. As if on cue, as Kauri was breathing out and recollecting himself, he was met by the familiar smell of smoke. He looked over, relieved that Vivian at least wasn't actually actively smoking. What he was, though, was trying to break this fragile peace, the exact way Kauri had been dodging. He hesitated a moment, but of all times, now somehow felt right. “Sure.” He nodded, glad he'd only had a single glass of wine so far. This was definitely a conversation to be had sober.

 

[Vivian Brackenstall]

As soon as Kauri spoke, the part of Vivian that was still fourteen and guilty and terrified desperately wanted to turn and run, to escape this hole he had dug for himself and never look back. This was a mistake. But the adult in him knew this conversation would have to happen one day, no matter what. So he bit down his nerves, relieved that his voice was steady as he spoke. “I owe you an apology.” He said slowly, starting with the words he was the most certain of. “It's long overdue. I let Tristan talk me into things I knew weren't okay, and I let him hurt you. I participated in it. It wasn't fair on you, and I'm so sorry for everything.” He paused, trying to keep his breathing and face steady as he collected himself.

“I know that... a few words won't make up for it. I don't expect us to be best friends after this, or anything like that. I just... I know that I owe you this, and I don't want it to still be hanging between us once we're family.” Vivian kept himself level, meeting Kauri's eye and hoping he had conveyed everything he needed to. “I'm so sorry for everything. And... I'm really happy for you and Flavio. You're perfect for each other, and I'm so glad you found each other. I hope you have a long happy marriage.” He added, trying his best to give a cheerful smile.

 

[Kauri Morales-Tipene]

Knowing what Vivian was likely to say and actually hearing it were two very different things, Kauri quickly discovered, and all of the hurt he had bundled up deep from his teens clawed its way to the surface, feelings he had to quickly swallow back down. “Thanks." He said softly to the comments about their engagement, glad for the reminder that however much their past had hurt, everything had turned out for the best. He couldn't dream of a better partner than Flavio, and compared to that, Tristan was irrelevant. All the old hurt served no purpose anymore, and he realised how much he didn't want to walk around carrying it any longer.

“And thank you for apologising." He added, not certain that he wanted to accept it unconditionally yet, despite the peace he had found. “You're together again, aren't you?” He said slowly, studying Vivian's expression. Kauri had never been one for confrontation, but he had learned definitively that when it came to Tristan, it was always best to be upfront. “I have to admit, I wasn't expecting that.”