Perpetual Youth

[Monty Pendleton]

The audacity of Professor Tuuri grew ever more astonishing each day. Monty had suffered a great many of the man's pranks with a due degree of civility, but this... now, this was just too far. Exams written in Finnish, pies to the face - that sort of thing he could handle. But when one of his students had approached him to applaud him on looking truly excellent for a seventy year old, Monty knew exactly who was responsible, and immediately set off in pursuit of the pint-sized professor. A stupid grin had broken out on Monty's face, so that as he reached the sixth floor corridor he was forced to wipe it clean off, lest Arvo think he wasn't completely serious (which he was). And it was a good job he took this measure, too, for Arvo was just exiting his office as Monty walked up to it. "Ah! How fortuitous. I was just on my way to pay you a visit," he said in an affected tone, pulling himself upright and regarding Arvo down the bridge of his nose. "I trust by the spring in your gait that you are well?"

 

[Arvo Tuuri]

Arvo had just locked the door of his office when he saw Monty, and his already good mood peaked to make it the starting of a fantastic day. Since his arrival and subsequent friendship with the Potions professor, he had done little things to antagonise the man for his own enjoyment. The peak of this relationship had to be when his dear friend tripped over his own shoelace when trying to scare Arvo. He chuckled quietly at the memory, and once his door was locked, he turned and smiled up at him. "I'm marvellous, thank you," he greeted. "One of my third years has been having a difficult time, but he's seemed to do very well on his exam." It was always nice to see the third years taking to such a difficult subject, after all. It was in this year that many children would simply be spooked by Arithmancy and replace it with a subject that seemed more fun. There was also the sweet reminder of what he had put in the exam. "Now, what was it you needed to speak to me about, Monty? Is it urgent?"
​

 

[Monty Pendleton]

Monty bit his cheek hard; Arvo was very, very good at pretending not to notice his acting. "Excellent. I'm so pleased," the Potions Professor said, doing his best to sound as displeased as possible. As they set off on a walk he continued: "No, no, not a matter of urgency, as such. Actually, a dear pupil of mine was kind enough to compliment me on my appearance this morning." He paused to cast Arvo a narrow-eyed glance. "He seemed to think I was of an excellent complexion for one in his early seventies."

 

[Arvo Tuuri]

Arvo, internally hysterical, nodded firmly as Monty continued. He was surprised that one of his students had approached the professor about it, though that made it all the more hilarious, in his eyes. It was also equally amusing how Monty found himself automatically blaming Arvo. "I can't fathom how one of your students would think you're in your seventies," Arvo responded, playing innocent. "But I would agree - you look quite young for a seventy year old!" He allowed some laughter to erupt, otherwise he would burst into hysterics. "Did you young chap mention where he got such an idea?"
​

<i></i>

 

[Monty Pendleton]

Monty knew that laugh. He pursed his lips. "Thank you. How unfortunate it is we cannot all maintain this perpetual youth, eh?" he said, his eye twinkling despite the sternness of his expression. "And no," he added, as if irritated. "He was not so generous as to vouchsafe that piece of information. I presume, naturally, that it has absolutely nothing to do with my dear, trusted friend and colleague Professor Tuuri - who, incidentally, happens to be teaching the very same pupil who congratulated me this morning." The Potions Professor smiled tightly.

 

[Arvo Tuuri]

Arvo didn't have a particularly large pool of students, so he could guesstimate who had complimented his dear friend. All he wished now was that he had have been there - but he may have laughed a little too loudly to remain inconspicuous. Similar to now, really. He knew Monty knew, and he knew that Monty knew he knew. It was just a wait on who would officially reveal his cards first. "Really? It is a small world," he said, keeping his voice as natural as possible, but laughter strained the edges of his accent. "I only teach Arithmancy, however, and we are in the business of studying numbers, not guessing ages. Perhaps this is something you should approach Wren about? It seems more akin to divination."
​

<i></i>

 

[Monty Pendleton]

Monty cocked an eyebrow, astute to the waver in Arvo's tone. He knew Arvo knew he knew he knew he knew, but he definitely wasn't going to let on first - if he could help it. With a slightly condescending sigh, Monty began to say, "I hardly thi-" but cut himself terrifically short by tripping up over his shoelaces, which had miraculously come untied. He stumbled several paces forward, holding a hand out for the wall and falling to his hands and knees anyway. "No!" he yelled, bursting into laughter. "I don't believe it. That is completely ridiculous."

 

[Arvo Tuuri]

Arvo couldn't help it. Once he was ensured that Monty was not injured, he started laughing almost hysterically. He used the wall to support him (successfully, unlike his companion), and tried to do the polite thing by not staring or pointing at his colleague. It was hard, though - the potions professor seemed to frequently neglect his shoelaces. It was some time before he settled, and cleared his threat, still huffing with the giggles. "Are you alright, Monty?" There wasn't even a snicker wavering his voice, he was very impressed with himself. "Perhaps you should ... invest in... Velcro?" The laughter had crept up again, and the Arithmancer was gone again.
​

<i></i>

 

[Monty Pendleton]

"Oh, go and polish some kneecaps, you swine," said Monty, before falling back into a fit of laughter. He stood and bent to tie his shoelace. "One day - one day - I will get you, Afternoon Shortcake. And my word the revenge will taste so sweet it'll give me cavities." The Professor rose to full height and adjusted his jacket contemptuously. "Now, if you don't mind, I have obligations elsewhere to fulfil. Good day." Tipping his imaginary hat, Monty headed off on his way.

---

FIN​

---