Closed Open Book

[Connor Holland]

Though they had been rebuilding their friendship for more than a year now, Connor was still nervous every time he hung out with Iris in public. The schism between their groups had never really healed, (and never would, as far as Connor was concerned, until Nicole found it in herself to apologise to both him and Eric,) and Connor felt like he was constantly looking over his shoulder for Nicole to barge in and ruin things between him and Iris. That fear wasn't enough to keep him away though - Iris had been one of his first ever friends in New Zealand, the very first person to be kind to him when he was scared and alone in an unfamiliar country, and having her back in his life meant the world to Connor. He was skimming through old Herbology notes while he waited for her to meet him in the lounge, doing his best to get ahead of the work he would need to do for the upcoming NEWTs.

 

[Iris van Houten]

Iris was grateful to be friends with Connor again, even if it had meant Nicole had dropped her entirely. She hadn't said so in so many words, but she had been ignoring Iris ever since their fina conversation where Iris had said she wouldn't pick sides. She knew Nicole still spent a lot of time with Emma, and that made things a little awkward, but at least things seemed to have settled for the most part. Nothing could tear her and Emma apart, even if they had friends who didn't like each other. It was an unspoken thing between them, and not really something they openly acknowledged. Iris was excited to hang out with Connor in the Student Lounge. She had grabbed her notes and headed there, smiling at the sight of him. She dropped in the seat next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Congratulations with your badge." She told him with a smile, noting it glinting on his robes. "I had no doubts."

 

[Connor Holland]

Connor looked up from his notes when Iris approached, giving her a bright smile. "Hey!" He said cheerfully, overwhelmed with joy again to see her. Coming back to school this year had been particularly difficult, and spending time with someone who things weren't complicated with was such a relief. He laughed awkwardly when she congratulated him, though he felt his heart sink slightly. "You're about the only one who feels that way." Connor said with an awkward smile, trying for joking and not quite making it. "How were your holidays?"

 

[Iris van Houten]

Iris frowned a bit, feeling puzzled. "What do you mean? You were the obvious pick." She asked, clearly puzzled. She paused, thinking it over. "Is anyone being a jerk to you? Because you do have the ability to take house points now." She said, smiling slightly. "I think leadership suits you." She added, hoping to encourage him a bit. As he asked her about her break, Iris shrugged. "It was fine, it felt like it flew by. I'm working at the Inner Eye now."

 

[Connor Holland]

Connor stared at Iris blankly when she said he was the obvious choice, only reacting when she asked if anyone was being mean to him, shrugging slightly. "I mean, only the usual people. And my patrol partner. But... I mean, you've seen our year! Lysander or Ajax were the obvious choices, I don't know how this happened." He sighed heavily, trying not to get bogged down in his own issues. He nodded with interest when Iris mentioned her new job, smiling. "Oh, that's cool! You've always been interested in that stuff, right?"

 

[Iris van Houten]

Iris frowned when Connor mentioned the usual people. "Did Nicole say something to you?" She asked carefully. "If she did, she's just jealous. And who is your patrol partner?" She wondered who else would say something mean to Connor about his badge. "Ajax would have been an alright choice, but Lysander gets in too much trouble. He's best friends with Emma." She said, as if that said enough. Iris nodded when he asked if she had been interested in that stuff, though it was a slightly uncomfortable topic for her. "Yes, I have been." She admitted. "I also have a girlfriend now." She added, happy to talk about something less complicated. "I didn't know if you knew."

 

[Connor Holland]

Connor tensed slightly when Iris mentioned Nicole by name, doing his best to dodge the subject quickly. "Nicole didn't say anything, but I can tell what she thinks. Not like it's not obvious." He sighed heavily. "And my patrol partner's Liusaidh Fergusson, one of the new fifth years. I've got no idea what Styx was thinking - she slipped me poisoned lollies at the prefects meeting. I almost threw up in front of everyone." Connor had quietly wondered if Styx had left because he was going senile - choosing Liusaidh as Prefect certainly pointed in that direction. He was happy when Iris turned the conversation to happier topics. "Oh, that's awesome, congratulations!" Connor said brightly, struck with a small pang of jealousy. He had never been very good at the whole swearing off relationships thing, and though he'd now been single for longer than he had been in years, he couldn't get Kas off his mind no matter how hard he tried. "Who is she?" He asked, trying not to think about his own woes.

 

[Iris van Houten]

Iris sighed when Connor said Nicole made her thoughts obvious even without saying them. "Well, she's good at that." She said softly. "But you should just ignore her. She's just jealous." She told Connor. "I bet you anything she secretly expected to get it with her boyfriend." She said softly, shaking her head. Iris frowned when Connor mentioned his patrol partner. "You do have the choice to change partners..." She told him slowly. "And you should report that to her head of house. I figure Castillo will probably do more about it than Styx." She said, frowning. "That's not acceptable."

The subject of her relationship was a bit safer to talk about, though Iris felt a bit strange talking about it, it felt like she was bragging. Especially when she was fairly sure Connor and Kas had broken up sometime last year, which couldn't be easy. She wasn't sure if she approved of Kas as a boyfriend for Connor, but she also didn't want him to be sad. "It's Rose, from Gryffindor." She explained. She was sure Connor would know who she meant, as they were all in the same year.

 

[Connor Holland]

Connor couldn't quite bring himself to look at Iris as she talked about Nicole, shrugging halfheartedly. He wouldn't have been surprised if Nicole and Ajax had been the ones to become Head People, though the thought made something bitter clench inside of him. He didn't know how he would have survived that prefect meeting at all if that had been the case. He shook his head when Iris mentioned changing partners, relieved that the subject of Liusaidh was at least a less complicated one. "I took her on on purpose, she's... a known troublemaker. Merlin knows what Styx was thinking. I'm supposed to be keeping an eye on her, and Chloë's keeping an eye on one of the Gryffindors. I just... didn't expect her to poison me in the middle of the prefects meeting." He sighed heavily. "I'll... talk to Castillo, but... I want to be careful. I'm supposed to be supervising her, she needs to see me as an authority figure. I can't be... weak." He sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. "I know this was a terrible idea, but we couldn't foist her on someone else..."

Connor was far happier to hear about Iris' girlfriend - although he didn't think he had ever actually spoken with Rose he knew her well from lessons, and had always thought she seemed nice, if a bit standoffish. But if Iris had managed to crack that shell... "Oh, that's awesome." He smiled warmly. "I bet you guys are really cute together, congratulations." A small pang struck him as he quietly thought about how much he wished he had a romance Iris could congratulate him about. But... those were dangerous thoughts he didn't want to come near, and he hoped the pain in his heart didn't show in his smile.

 

[Iris van Houten]

Iris sighed when Connor said he took her on as his patrol partner on purpose. She smiled a little ruefully. "And you still think you're not obvious head boy material?" She teased him slightly. "That's such a responsible and smart choice, especially when you have people you would probably rather patrol with." She told him, gently patting his arm. "You're good, Connor." She told him gently.

Iris didn't really want to talk about Rose a lot, as she knew it wouldn't be very fun for Connor to just hear her gush about her girlfriend. But she still smiled and blushed, feeling pleased when Connor said they were probably cute together. She shrugged. "It's a bit hard to say, for me." She said. "I know she's cute, though, so that's half of the equation." She said with a smile. "What about you? Anyone you fancy?" She then asked, attempting to ask the question casually.

 

[Connor Holland]

Connor listened as Iris spoke, surprised at how much sense her words made. He had never looked at the decision to partner with Liusaidh in that light, and while it had largely been Chloë's idea, it was a responsible decision, and thinking about it that way made him feel... secure in his position as Head Boy for the first time ever. "That's.... yeah, you're right." He said with a small smile. "Thanks."

Connor listened with interest as Iris talked about her girlfriend, smiling warmly. "Aww, that's so sweet." He said warmly, though he could feel his smile tensing as she asked about his own love life. "I, um, it's... complicated?" He said nervously, glancing around. Connor hadn't told anyone about the truth of his feelings for Kas, and the thought of saying it out loud was a scary one, like the words would solidify in midair and make it real, write his feelings on his face. But after carrying them around for so long, the thought of someone finally knowing won out in the end. "I, um... so, last year Kas and I did this stupid prank on Eric, we pretended we were dating just to piss him off. And it was fine! It was all fine! We told Lucas it was fake so he wouldn't, you know... be mad at Kas as well as me. It was all just a stupid joke, that's all it was... supposed to be." Connor trailed off, covering his face in his hands. "I'm so stuuuuuuuupid..."

 

[Iris van Houten]

Iris smiled back at Connor, glad he admitted she was right. She knew she had been right but she was glad Connor could admit to it. "You're going to do great this year." She told him confidently. Iris saw out of the corner of her eye that asking Connor about his own love life might have been a mistake. Iris hadn't been keeping up all that well with who Connor was or wasn't dating, so she hadn't known she had brought up a touchy subject. "You don't have to tell m-" She started to say, but then Connor did and she shut up so she could listen. She frowned slightly. "You pretended to date someone and now you... actually like him?" She asked Connor after a moment. "Connor, how was it ever not going to end that way?" She asked him, slightly exasperated.

 

[Connor Holland]

Connor knew he was stupid, but hearing Iris say so really hammered his mistakes home. "I know!" He blurted out loudly. "I just thought it would be a stupid joke, I didn't... this wasn't supposed to happen! It was so stupid..." Connor groaned into his hands, not able to bring himself to look at Iris. "And now stuff's weird between us, even if we're both pretending it isn't. And I just... ugh, I just wanna take it back and ask him on a real stupid date, but even if this hadn't happened I don't think... I mean, he's Kas, he'd probably think I was joking, we've been friends for... uuuuughhh..." Connor groaned, rubbing his face. "I'm so stupid. I should be banned from dating people."

 

[Iris van Houten]

Iris sighed softly as she watched Connor, pulling him closer so she could put an arm around him. "It's alright." She said softly. "I just know you. I don't think you could pretend to be that close to someone without becoming at least a little bit real." She smiled softly, stroking his arm. "I don't think he'd think you were joking. You could always give it a shot." She said hesitantly. "I was nervous about asking out Rose too, I didn't want to ruin our friendship. But it was one of the best decisions I ever made." She paused, hesitating for a moment. "Besides, I doubt he would have agreed to fake date you if he didn't at least think you were cute."

 

[Connor Holland]

Connor hadn't thought there was much of anything that could make him feel better about his tumultuous feelings for Kas, but somehow despite his pessimism, what Iris said actually helped. "He... definitely might think I was joking. He's... we're not..." Connor sighed softly. "I mean, my best friends are Kas and Freya. We don't really... say what we're meaning much. Or ever. Everything gets buried in ten different layers of jokes and irony. Which is... fun, usually, but... it's hard to say anything real." He sighed heavily, rubbing his face. The idea that asking had worked out between Iris and Rose was comforting though, and Iris did have a point about Kas maybe thinking he was cute. "That's... true." He sighed softly. "It's.. I don't know. I just... I don't know. I'll... figure out what to do."

 

[Iris van Houten]

Iris shrugged with a slight smile. "He might think so at first, but not if you tell him you're not... or you kiss him." She suggested, wondering if it was helpful advice. She didn't really know Kas that well, which suited her fine. She didn't think he was the sort of person she would want to befriend. Iris squeezed his arm. "You'll figure it out, and if he's a jerk to you I can set Emma on him, she already hates him." She said, then paused. "Or I'll just hex him myself." She added.

 

[Connor Holland]

Connor snorted with laughter at Iris' suggestion, shaking his head. "I mean, we've kissed plenty of times. Mostly to annoy Eric, but..." He shrugged. "I don't think that'd quite get the message across." Connor often forgot how unusual it was that he had kissed almost all of his closest friends, but it just seemed normal to him. Iris was just about the only person he was close with he hadn't kissed, come to think of it. He laughed slightly at her offers of support, giving a slightly sad smile. "I don't think Emma would agree to anything that would benefit me." He pointed out. "She hates me too." He usually tried to avoid mentioning Iris' sister when they talked, but he couldn't help thinking wistfully about when they had all been friends. Iris, Emma, and Nicole had been the first people in the magical community to embrace him, and it hurt only having one of them left in his life.

 

[Iris van Houten]

Iris laughed softly when Connor said they had kissed a lot. "I can't believe you just kiss him and act like it's nothing." She told him, shaking her head. "No wonder you guys made things confusing for each other." She said fondly. Iris sighed a bit, regretting that she had brought up her sister. "Emma doesn't hate you, she's just... stuck in this mindset. She doesn't want to consider Nicole might be wrong because that means she was wrong." Iris said softly. "She's the most stubborn person I know." She added quietly. Every time Iris had tried to broach the subject gently, Emma had fled. "But I think she'll come around eventually." She added quietly.

 

[Connor Holland]

Connor flushed and laughed awkwardly at her comment. "If it makes a difference I've kissed Freya too? And Knox. I've kissed... most of my friends, actually. It's just... only weird with Kas. Because of. Yeah." He gave a self-deprecating smile, resisting the urge to hide his face. Not that the other subject of conversation was any easier. "I.... I get that." Connor sighed heavily, looking down. "But I don't think she'll ever be okay with me. Nicole either." He added, shoulders slumping. "You guys were my first friends here, you know? And Nicole... she was horrible to Eric. And she doesn't care." He sighed heavily, rubbing his face with both hands. "I know it's been ages, but I still hate this."

 

[Iris van Houten]

Iris laughed and shook her head again, amazed. "Why have you kissed so many of your friends?" She asked, amused. "And why not me?" She added, pretending to be offended. She quickly smiled to show she didn't mean it. Iris sighed when Connor talked about Nicole, looking away. "If it helps, Nicole doesn't want to talk to me anymore either." She said softly. "I do think she's a lost cause, honestly." She admitted, looking down for a moment. "She was one of my first friends here too." She added with a shrug. "But... she made herself very clear." She said with a sigh. "There's no changing her mind." She paused. "Maybe she's the most stubborn person I've ever met." She mused. Then, she put an arm around Connor. "I hate it too."

 

[Connor Holland]

Connor gave a small snort of laughter as Iris criticised her exclusion. "Here, then." He teased, kissing her on the cheek, though they both knew it wasn't what he had been talking about with the others. "No, it's... a lot of it was that spin the bottle game in third year, but others...." He shrugged, trying to think back. "Just... life?" His heart sank at the mention of Nicole, though he nodded sadly in agreement when Iris said she was a lost cause. "I hate it." He admitted quietly, glad that at least he wasn't the only one hurting from Nicole's betrayal. They had each other in this. He leaned into her embrace gratefully, putting an arm around her waist and returning the hug. "Least we've got each other." He admitted, giving her a small smile. "You were the first person in New Zealand who was ever nice to me, that time back at the park. Eric had just started Hogwarts, I was still trying to adjust to... everything here. You made a big difference."

 

[Iris van Houten]

Iris smiled as Connor kissed his cheek, leaning into him a bit. "If you're kissing Kas like that you're not giving him the right message." She teased slightly. She laughed softly and shook her head when Connor said it was just life that caused him to kiss his friends, she couldn't really relate. She sighed when he admitted to hating the situation with Nicole. She gently squeezed his shoulder. "Don't think you're too special, I'm nice to everyone." She said jokingly, before kissing his cheek in return.