Next Step

Zennon Baros

healer; dad to Finley
Messages
2,484
OOC First Name
Zazz
Blood Status
Pure Blood
Relationship Status
It's Complicated
Sexual Orientation
asexual
Wand
Straight 14 1/2 Inch Sturdy Cypress Wand with Erumpent Hide Core
Age
May 3rd, 2034
- This is set just June 2051 in Zennon's American home.
Both characters have turned 17, it is Sam's birthday -


Zennon rolled his shoulders as he sat at the edge of the bed, looking back over at Sam. It was getting late, so if he was going to do this, he had to do it now. "Want something to drink, hon?" He asked, standing up to pull his shorts on properly. They'd had such a wonderful day and Zennon had felt sure that he'd reignited that spark they'd had so early in their relationship, but, he was realising that the spark that he was looking for just didn't exist and he'd confirmed a suspicion he'd had for some time. He just wished he'd figured it out before they'd slept together because now he was an @rsehole. He just hoped he could do this the best way possible. He didn't want her to think he was just using her, after all, he really liked Sam, he was willing to say he loved her. It just wasn't the way she was maybe hoping and he couldn't continue to lie to her. He headed out of the room to grab some of the wine he knew was sitting on the shelf in the kitchen. He'd already cleared it with his parents, and given they were both seventeen now, there wasn't anything wrong with them drinking. Zennon had already tried some on his birthday last month, so now it was Sam's turn. She might need some for what was about to happen and he honestly felt awful. When he got back, he was holding the bottle, he didn't even bother with glasses. "I brought the bottle." He said with a weak smile, taking a sip before handing it to her. "Are you okay?" After all, they'd just slept together, he wanted to make sure she was okay after everything.​
 
Sam was still buzzing from what had just happened. She didn’t exactly have any words for it, the experience, although it had been better than she had expected. Then again, she had no idea what she should have expected - if anything at all. She glanced at Zennon when he asked her if she wanted something to drink, and she simply nodded, giving him a smile. She didn’t think her mouth would work at the moment. There were too many jumbled thoughts in her head disallowing her to form proper sentences. Her heart was thumping in her chest, she wasn’t sure what she was feeling, or why she was feeling it, but there was something there and she couldn’t quite place her finger on it. Maybe her feelings for her boyfriend had intensified. Or maybe it was just an illusion because of what had just happened. She laughed when Zennon brought out a bottle of wine, naturally, it was her seventeenth birthday, which meant that she was legal. "Nice," she commented, "Thanks," she said as she took the bottle from him and took a sip. The taste of wine was...interesting. Sam pursed her lips at Zennon’s question before she turned to him, her eyes not wanting to look away from his. "I’m okay," she confirmed, a light smile playing on her lips. She really was, although she guessed she would be sore tomorrow. "That was, um, great," she said, a little awkwardly. What else was she supposed to say?
 
Zennon really liked Sam, he had really enjoyed spending time with her and he definitely considered her a dear friend, how could he not after all of this? But... he didn't love her, or have any romantic feelings for her at all. Tonight had cleared all of that up for him. He loved Sam, but he wasn't in love with her and that meant he had to tell her, he couldn't just string her along, he'd caused them enough pain as it was with what he was about to do. She took the bottle and took a sip and Zennon sat on the bed beside her, tucking some hair behind her ear. He wanted to make this as painless as possible, because really there was no good way to say this however he looked at it. "It was fun, I enjoy spending time with you, Sam, I really do," he said, nodding at her, his smile not quite reaching his eyes. He'd enjoyed their moment but he'd realised as it was happening that he wasn't as into her as he thought he was. He definitely didn't regret it, or Sam, but he did wish he'd figured all of this out before they'd gotten to this point as he was sure this was only going to hurt more. "Sam I..." How did he say this? How?​
 
Sam didn't think there was anything wrong, or at least it didn't seem like there was, she had never slept with someone before and she obviously didn't know how she was supposed to act, if she was supposed to act in a certain way. Maybe she should have just been relaxed, and happy, which she would've been except that Zennon seemed a little distracted. He smiled at her, but it didn't reach his eyes, and Sam furrowed her eyebrows, his comment was positive, and she gave him her best smile. She sensed a 'but', after the comment, and the girl was dreading what was coming next. But nothing did. She realised that there was something wrong and the Slytherin placed a hand on his arm, wanting to comfort him. "I enjoy spending time with you too, Z," she replied, and sat up on the bed. She was a bit confused, she didn't entirely understand what was on his mind. She waited patiently for him to find the words to express his thoughts. Could he be thinking the same thing she was? They'd been going out for a while, and it was so good being with him, so perhaps Sam was just overthinking things. "What's wrong, babe? Anything I can do?"
 
So many scenarios ran through his head of what he could or should say in this moment to ease everything. He considered just not saying anything at all and waiting for the inevitability of Sam breaking up with him, but, he couldn't do that, for one he didn't know when it would happen or if it would and two, it wasn't right to do that to either of them. No, it was best he gets this over with now before he ruined her birthday more than he was sure it was already going to suck. Maybe he would be lucky and she was feeling off about it too? He smiled lightly as she said she enjoyed spending time with him too. Dear Merlin, this was so hard. He really didn't want to do this, but he couldn't lie to her. "Sam..." He said, sighing. Maybe it was best just to rip off the bandaid. "We need to break up."
 
Sam’s heart was thumping in her chest so loudly, she was worried Zennon could hear it too. She wasn’t sure what exactly he was about to say, and whether to anticipate a good thing, or a bad thing, and the wait was killing her. There was a lot of tension in the air now, and when Zennon returned her smile she thought she could relax a little. Surely, she was just being dramatic. So before her mind caught up with her mouth, she heard herself say, "Zennon I’m in love with you," convincing herself that she was exaggerating and that she really shouldn’t be worried. But, as soon as the words left the boy’s mouth, Sam knew it wasn’t an exaggeration. She had been right to tell that something was off, and she just stared at him, shocked. Where was that coming from? She thought they were doing great, they never fought, they’d had amazing days together, all the time spent with him. Or had that been one-sided all along? She had...just told him she loved him. "Wh-What..." Sam was extremely confused. She ran a hand through her hair. What was going on? "Are you being serious? Where is this coming from?" she said weakly, finally finding her voice.
 
Sam loved him? He hadn’t registered what she was saying until after she’d said it and he’d just told her he wanted to break up. F*ck! It had been abit better when he thought she had doubts too, but knowing that she didn’t, Zennon frowned and moved away from her a little, not wanting to crowd her too much. He liked Sam, lived her even, but not in that way, not ever. “Sam...” this made things way more complicated than they had to be and he could see that she was confused. Of course she was confused, this was very confusing for her he imagined, and he wasn’t making it easier on her at all, though he wished there was more simplicity involved with this than there was. “I’m... I’ve been thinking things... feelings and stuff I couldn’t explain...” he said, shaking his head. She deserved the whole story so he couldn’t just half arse this. They’d been friends before he’d kissed her at Yule. Surely this wasn’t going to upset that dynamic too much? “I didn’t know for sure until right now, I thought it was just nerves you know, with use getting serious and stuff,” he added, biting his lip. “I was wrong... I’m so sorry Sam, but...” he was probably just supposed to come out and say it. It had surprised him too, though as he looked back, he supposed it didn’t really. Jake, Chrys, Elio... definitely not all that surprising as it turned out. “Sam... I’m pretty sure I’m gay.”​
 
The longer Sam sat there, the more confused she felt, and hurt. It hurt a lot. For them to sleep together and then suddenly, he was just breaking up with her. Sam didn’t think he was that type of person, she didn’t want to believe that, she couldn’t. She knew Zennon, or at least she thought she did. She stayed silent as he explained, although Sam wasn’t sure she actually wanted to hear it. This was frustrating, how could he do it to her? Now, of all days? On her birthday. "What does that even mean?" she asked, willing herself not to cry. She didn’t want to, not in front of him. They had been dating for a year, but had been friends since even before that. She raised her eyebrows. Nerves? She understood that, Sam had never been in a serious relationship before, she had only ever had crushes and Z was her first love. But springing this on her right now, like this...it was low. He was wrong. Or had been...or whatever. But what he said next was something she did not expect to hear. "You’re..." she trailed off, and looked down at her hands, before she looked up at Zennon again. "How long have you known?" she asked quietly.
 
"I'm sorry, Sam," Zennon said, trying to make things better clearly wasn't the best play here, but he didn't want her to feel like he'd planned this, or done this on purpose, he'd genuinely wanted to be wrong, thinking maybe he was just nervous because he'd started feeling weird the closer it came to this, but... as he'd thought about it and he did send those anonymous roses, he realised maybe he'd just been denying it. Like he'd denied his parselmouth ability. He didn't quite know which was worse, he didn't want to pick one. Though he hoped people would stop judging him for either of those things, it was hard to say really. "I don't know... exactly," he said, frowning after she asked him how long he'd known. "I still don't... this just... it doesn't feel like it should... not like how my parents are together, or Elio and Rowan," he knew Sam would know about them because he'd spoken about them before and it certainly wasn't a big secret or anything anyway. He didn't want to tell her about the roses though, he hadn't told anyone about those and he didn't want to upset her worse than he already. It was best to leave that to himself. "Something just felt off... I didn't really know until tonight and ... I still don't really understand it," he said, frowning. He looked at her and tried to smile, but he didn't want her to get the wrong idea and think he was enjoying this because he wasn't. "I wish I'd been wrong, Sam, I do, I really like you, I love you in fact, but... but not like that." He said, sitting fully on his bed to lift his knees up to his chin. He felt like a dumb little kid and fair do about him confessing all of this to the girl he was breaking up with, but, he'd always gotten along so well with Sam, it was why they'd started dating in the first place... it had just sort of happened.​
 
When Zennon apologised, Sam couldn't say anything back. What was she meant to say, that it was okay? It wasn't. And she was sure that he knew this too. Zennon's uncertainty didn't make her feel any better either, but then again, what would make her feel better. She had no idea. Right now, nothing. She was hurting, and there was nothing to be done, at least not yet. She just had to wait for this horrible situation to be over. She knew of Elio and Rowan, he had mentioned them before, although she wasn't properly acquainted to them, they were a year younger. Still, she had heard that what they shared was special, and complicated, and in some sense, Sam knew what Zennon meant. A part of her wanted to comfort him, another part wanted to yell at him. But she did neither. Her heart sank, it finally dawned on her that they were done. She couldn't relate to the parents bit, her mother had passed before she came to Hogwarts. That was years ago. But she was aware that what they should have had was true love, and that didn't seem to be the case anymore. Or maybe it never had been. That thought hurt her even more. Sam lowered her gaze, the tears finally falling. "So...that's it, then?" she asked softly, still not looking at him. She almost couldn't believe it, but things happened for a reason, didn't they. She desperately wanted to believe that right now. She couldn't bring herself to say more.
 
Zennon didn't know what to say. Really, there was nothing else he could say. Everything just seemed like it would make things worse or she might think he was trying to invalidate how she felt. Of course, she was upset, he'd just broken up with the girl he'd been dating for over a year. He was upset! She wasn't talking, which was a bad sign, because she always spoke to him. She wasn't exactly a chatterbox, but she wasn't silent like this either. He couldn't blame her, this was a shock, but, he had to do it. He couldn't just let it to continue, they'd have ended up married and in a loveless relationship neither of them wanted... maybe. They were like seventeen so who knew what the future would have held, but this was definitely the kinder option to stringing her along for however long until he figured his own sh!t out. He wanted to reach out and hug her or something to comfort her as the tears started, but he felt like maybe it wouldn't be very welcome, considering he'd just told her he didn't love her after they'd just slept together. It wasn't a great situation, but he certainly didn't regret her or it and he would always remember this moment fondly. She was a lot of firsts for him and he would always remember that. First kiss, first dance, first relationship, first time, first break up... she would always mean a lot to him. "Yes... I am sorry... I didn't want it to happen this way, but I couldn't just pretend like it was nothing, you deserve so much more than I could give you," he said, sighing. He wanted to help, but he knew even being in his presence right now was probably not what she needed. "Do you want some time before I ask mum to drop you home? Did you want to stay for the night? I can sleep in Izaak's old room..." He didn't want to just kick her out. She was still welcome if she wanted it, just... just not as his girlfriend.​
 
Sam didn't know if she was feeling angry, sad, or a mix of both. It kind of felt like a loss, but nothing could compare to her mom dying. Still, it was a lot to take in, she had been dating someone who wasn't even into girls, and at least he told her now, instead of being with her and tell her much later. That would've probably hurt more. But she couldn't think of the what ifs, or anything that wasn't the reality. She couldn't turn back time, to even the day before, or a few days prior to this night. Her mind was still processing everything that Zennon was telling her. He had only been sure about liking guys now, tonight, which seemed a little bizarre to Sam. Not because she didn't believe him, but because of the circumstances in which they were. She believed him. She didn't know if she should believe that he was sorry, but she just did. Because despite all of this, she couldn't not trust him. She nodded slowly in understanding, kind of beginning to get it. "I just...I need some time, to process," she told him. "I...think I want to go home." She needed to be alone right now, and maybe, someday, she would talk to him again about this, who knew. But for now, she really just needed to leave, and curl up on her bed, and then sleep, but she needed to process what had just happened alone.
 
Zennon has nothing else to really say, she needed to process this and so did he really. He felt like there had been a bit of a weight lifted off of his shoulders now, but he didn’t feel great still. He hoped once it came school time Sam would be feeling better, but as for right now, this was probably for the best. He nodded as she said she wanted to go home. “Yeah, that’s fair,” he said, sad but understanding. He didn’t want her to be uncomfortable and so he stood up. “I’ll go talk to my Mom, she’ll make sure you get home,” he said, hearing the clamour of his family down stairs. They’d only just got home, lucky, as thirty minutes ago wouldn’t have been ideal. “I’m sorry,” he said, heading out of the room to make preparations for Sam to leave. This was for the best. Had to be.​
 
Sam could not have felt more relieved at that very moment. She knew Zennon would understand that she wanted to go home, and she appreciated it, somewhere deep inside. Then again, he was the one breaking up with her. "Thank you," she said, when he told her he would ask him mom to take her home. She needed to get out of there. She didn’t say anything as he apologised yet again. She couldn’t take it anymore. She knew she was going to see him at school, but at least, that wasn’t anytime soon. She gathered her belongings, and left the room, glancing at Zennon one more time before she followed his mom out of the house. She wasn’t going to look back.
***
A few weeks later, Sam was standing in front of her bathroom mirror. She was tired, and hadn’t been sleeping well, not since...that night. Feeling the urge to throw up, Sam rushed to the toilet, and sat up again against the wall when she was done, rubbing the sweat off her forehead with her arm. She glanced down at her hand, at what she was holding, and her heart sank. No. No freaking way. They’d only done it once...and once was all that it took. She stood up again, unsure as to how she was going to tell her family about this. They wouldn’t forgive her. Certainly, not her father, not after what they’d gone through the past few years. And what on Earth was she going to tell Zennon, the future father of her baby? No. He couldn’t know. She had to hide it from him, she couldn’t go through with the shame. Sam felt numb. What was she going to do? She took a shaky breath, and tried to regain control of her emotions. No one had to know. It was going to be her secret, until she figured out what to do. She couldn’t tell a single soul about this.

The End
 

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