Closed More To Life than Work

[Professor Minnie Calida]

Minnie had been struggling for a while, though she couldn't understand why. Things were good in her life, she had a good job, a very good job, that was steady and paid well. It helped her afford her half of the rent for the apartment she shared with Eric. Any andf all spare time they had together was spent together, each moment a memory to last a lifetime. Things weren't always perfect, but she loved him with all her heart. But Minnie was also overworking, doing exceedingly long unnecessary hours in her job and this meant they didn't get much time together, and in the back of her mind, she was always thinking about work. Minnie knew that they hadn't had the same options as others, with a very small safety net, that working was necessary for her to provide and contribute but she didn't want to do it anymore.

Minnie had come home, from a long day. She had started work long before anyone else, literally turning on the lights in her work place. She had caught up on plenty while there, barely stopped for lunch and running mostly on coffee. She had gone home last, and Minnie got home, to an empty place because Eric was working. She had taken off her coat and shoes and sat down at their small kitchen table. She could spot so much of their life in this home, pictures of them, from their life now, from school. Things on the fridge as reminders. Minnie's hand was sore, having written quite a lot that day and in the silence of her home, of a life she shared but could not fully enjoy with her boyfriend, she felt her eyes water and she softly, silently, began crying.

Maybe she needed a vacation. Maybe she needed to quit. ​

 

[Eric Holland]

Eric felt oddly happy as he left work early to return home. It wasn’t that odd anymore, actually, to feel happy. His life with Minnie was great. Their place was small and they both had to work hard, but he loved her and was happy to be with her whenever they had a moment of time together. The Medley had been quiet tonight, so Eric had been let off early. It would mean a bit less pay, but it also meant more time with his girlfriend. He had been meaning to ask her advice about Connor, though he wasn’t entirely sure if he wanted to use this extra free time for that. It would probably be a heavy conversation, and Eric wasn’t in the mood for that today. He just wanted to hang out, maybe they could order a pizza or something.

He opened the door quietly, intending to surprise her with his presence. But as he took off his coat, he immediately realized something was awfully wrong. He didn’t quite know what it was for a moment, before realizing it was the sound of Minnie crying. Eric blinked, gaze zeroing in on her at the kitchen table. “Minnie?” He asked, carelessly tossing his jacket over a side table as he rushed to her side. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He asked, moving to her side and kneeling to look at her face. “Are you hurt?"

 

[Professor Minnie Calida]

Minnie hadn't expected Eric to come home as early as he did. It was way he was supposed to, which usually was good, but today. Today, was not a good day for it. Things had just been piling up, her work was good, and the type of work wasn't bad, it was just so easy for her to fall into old patterns. To be consumed by what she thought she needed to do. She heard the door open and desperately tried to reign her crying in, but it didn't help anything. She looked at his face as he knelt down.

Minnie took his face in her hands, even if Minnie hadn't wanted him to see this, she was glad he was home. Glad to touch him, to feel him, to be reassured by his presence. ”I'm not hurt…,” Minnie spoke softly. ”Just…overwhelmed, I guess,” The woman simplified everything down to something that could be communicated. She knew his reaction would always be kind, that he would support her, but she didn't want to burden him. ”I don't think I'm happy,” ​

 

[Eric Holland]

Eric looked over Minnie carefully, worried she had somehow hurt herself. He was a little reassured as she cupped his face in her hands, but still searched her face for any sign of what was wrong. He relaxed a fraction when she said she was overwhelmed, but then tensed again as she said she didn’t think she was happy. Eric felt his stomach drop. He should have seen this coming, maybe part of him had. He had sometimes wondered how long it would be until Minnie realized she was too good for him. He tried to speak, but his mouth was suddenly very dry. He swallowed, then tried again. “Can I.. change anything?” He asked, hoping against hope that he could still fix this. "I'm sorry I've been so busy." He added, his voice sounding more like a strained croak.

 

[Professor Minnie Calida]

Minnie didn't realise what she had really said until she heard Eric's response. Minnie knew what it meant, because it was all in her head, but he wouldn't. ”Oh no, Eric, no, this isn't on you,” she told him, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. ”Every moment with you is amazing, I love spending our free nights together, I sleep better with you in the bed, I love waking up and being able to eat with you. You are my home,” she assured him. Before giving a little sigh. ”It's work...I just, I work so much I'm barely here, when I'm not at work, I'm thinking of work. I just keep thinking, spiralling, if I don't do well, I'm going to fail and get fired, and the world will end,”

Minnie spoke, thinking of how they had once joked of her getting O's and saving the world. He had been so right then. ”I can't go back Eric,” her voice cracked as she spoke, fresh tears in her eyes, and the words were said. She couldn't let herself do it any more. She had to stop. This job paid well, but it didn't bring her any joy, only stress. She didn't feel content or able to just treat it as a job. She just lived work.​

 

[Eric Holland]

Eric had been so certain he was the problem, that it took him a moment to realize what Minnie was saying. He nodded, trying to ignore his pounding heart as Minie explained. He took her hand in his own and squeezed it slightly as she explained about her work. When she finally said she couldn’t go back, he nodded. He leaned up and kissed her forehead softly. “You’re not going back.” He murmured. “If it makes you so unhappy, you’re quitting as soon as you can.” He moved back a bit so he could look her in the eye. “We’ll make it work, Minnie.” He said, even though he knew it would be tight. “Do you know… what you would like to do?”

 

[Professor Minnie Calida]

Minnie knew Eric would understand, or at least would support her in her decisions. But she shook her head lightly. She couldn't actually quit, though, they didn't have much of a safety net. She could get a small part-time job until the next thing, but it would probably take time. ”I can't just quit though, can I?…we need the money,” she asked softly, her voice filled with a sorrow at even the thought of going back. She knew if she did quit she'd have to hand in her notice and she'd have to keep working a little longer, she didn't want to burn the bridge too much.

But she knew she couldn't keep working there, she'd work herself to the bone and have nothing left for Eric. She knew that if they were ever to have children, she'd want to raise them in an environment of love and safety, which if she worked so much she couldn't do. ”I don't know… I always wanted to be a writer, write those shitty teen romance books,” Minnie half smiled at him, knowing how silly he thought them, but it had always been her dream. She had always imagined working for most of her life and then maybe when she was like fifty, taking the time to finally write. ​

 

[Eric Holland]

Eric knew Minnie was the realistic one between them. She was the serious one. Despite appearances, Eric was a bit of an idealist sometimes. But he knew he was in the right when he shook his head. “Anything that makes you this sad… you have to quit.” He said softly. “Like, you can do it properly and had in your notice and stuff, but you can’t keep working there.” He sighed softly, squeezing her hand as he searched her face. “How long have you been feeling this way?” He asked quietly, a little hurt she hadn’t confided in him sooner. He knew how she was, though. Selfless to a fault. Minnie would have kept this to herself as long as possible. Eric understood it, but he still wished she had told him.

Eric nodded as Minnie went on to talk about her dream. It wasn’t a surprise, and he smiled slightly. He could easily picture it, if he was honest. He hesitated for a moment. “Well, I don’t think… you can start with that right away, I mean, entirely.” He said carefully. “But what if you took a less demanding job for a bit, part-time, and use the extra time for your writing?” He suggested. “Or you can quit entirely for a while.. I think I can ask my mum for help, if we really need it. Like, a loan.” He said, though it was hesitant. Eric hated asking for help, but for Minnie he would. “Or hell, even my dad. Merlin knows he owes me some.” Though he knew deep down he wouldn’t get be able to ask his dad. He was too prideful for that.

 

[Professor Minnie Calida]

Minnie nodded in agreement. She didn't want to keep feeling this, she was working so hard, and she didn't need to. She just couldn't go back to it. Couldn't see herself having to keep working there at this pace forever. The question about how long had her thinking. ”I don't think I recognized how it was making me feel until a few months ago. In the beginning it was fine, we needed money for this place. I thought I'd settle into it, once you know you get over the first few months of feeling like you need to prove things...but it didn't ease off, just got worse,”

Minnie knew that he was right, it wouldn't be right away and they would need a second income. They had some savings, but it wouldn't last long if she wasn't bringing something for a while. Minnie was sure that his mum, who was so kind to them, would give them money. But she shook her head. ”No, I'll go back to the Hog's Head, work there for a little while, part-time hours. Could do some tutoring too,” it would have them getting by, though they'd have to perhaps cut back a little. ”If we really start struggling, we can ask them then, but as long as I'm bringing something in, we should be okay,” ​

 

[Eric Holland]

Eric nodded as he listened to Minnie, a slight frown on his face. “You could have told me.” He said softly, trying his best not to sound accusatory. “I want you to be happy.” He said quietly, looking up at her face earnestly. He searched her expression, a small part of him still not convinced it really was the job that made her unhappy. It could be him too, he knew. Eric sighed and smiled as Minnie explained what she was going to do. Of course, she had a plan already. “Right.” He said, nodding. “That sounds good, I think we’ll be fine.” He said, then he pulled Minnie into a hug. “You’re going to be brilliant.” He murmured.

 

[Professor Minnie Calida]

Minnie gave a small smile at his words. She could've said something, but she hadn't known how to vocalize it. ”I know, and you make me so happy. It's probably why I held out, because the stress was easy to ignore with you,” she told him. There was no taking back what she hadn't told him. It hadn't been the time for her. But she was happy to now be able to, feeling the weight on her shoulder lift slowly at the mere idea that she might be done soon. That she'd go back to easier work, and have clearly hours and be able to just spend time with him. She might be able to pick up with old friends, and she was definitely going to get back into her reading and writing.

Minnie knew they'd be in for a difficult few months, but she felt better about it. She let him pull her into a hug and wrapped her arms around him tightly. Holding on to him, and breathing in his closeness. ”Thank you,” she muttered, to all of it. She really appreciated how understanding he was. She didn't expect any less, but still she appreciated it. Especially, doing so without making her feel like a failure. ​

 

[Eric Holland]

Eric felt a little better as Minnie said again that he made her happy. Maybe it really was just her job, maybe it would be something they could fix together. He hugged her closer as she thanked him. “I want you to be happy.” He murmured back. "It's pretty much all I want."

 

[Professor Minnie Calida]

With the plan in place, and the end in sight of her job, Minnie was feeling the stress roll off her. She had maybe a couple of weeks left of it, but she'd be done. She knew she'd have a better time of it. Could focus on her writing, make just enough that she contributed her share, and then could write and read. She held on to him tighter, the full weight of how good things were going to be now washing over her. Minnie hadn't realised how deeply the stress and worry had gone and how good it felt now. She buried her head in his chest and felt herself cry again. Though this time in relief. ​