Closed Mixed Feelings

[Jordan Harris]

Jordie had thrown his all into practice, wanting to do his best to support Rene and be a good sport. But as the try outs ended, he lingered in the locker rooms, taking an extra long shower to try and ease the tension he'd been trying to hide. When he finally came out to the locker room, it seemed like everyone was gone. Jordie slipped back on his pants, before letting himself drop down to sit on one of the benches. He sighed, tangling his hands in his hair, his elbows propped on his knees as he hung his head. He shut his eyes, just trying to settle his emotions. He wasn't upset with Rene, he was more upset with himself. What had he done wrong? He knew that he and Tilly had drifted, but he had always seen her as his sister. Their families were friends, they'd been in each others lives for years. He'd been a good team player, he'd looked after the others on the team, especially the chasers, and he wasn't going to stop how he did things; this team felt like his family. But had he been wrong? Should he have been taking center stage more, trained more? He had been running twice a day, training three times a week, he'd thought he had put everything into this, into his schooling and his life here. Was it not enough? He let out a soft, frustrated sigh, trying to just focus on his breathing.

 

[Rene Tofilau]

Rene was still riding the high of actually being named captain and successfully running a try out without completely messing it up. Sure he'd taken a bludger, but that was pretty par for the course so he could shake it off. Now he just had to focus on that warm, successful feeling and not the looming awareness of having to pick a winning team lineup to try and take the house cup season. Sure, it would easy to lean into the idea of playing just to have fun, but really, Rene wanted Hufflepuff to win again.

He nearly missed Jordie as he wandered into the locker room, mind on the team and hand rubbing idly at the sore spot left from where Veronique had hit him earlier. Jordie's sigh got his attention though and Rene stilled before spotting Jordie slumped on the nearby bench, looking worn out. And no wonder, Rene figured, if he was feeling stressed it was probably nothing compared with what Jordie was dealing with this semester. "Hey... Long day already? Uh, congrats on head boy by the way, you deserve it," he added, chucking his stuff in his locker and grimacing as it clattered loudly in the relative quiet between them.

 

[Jordan Harris]

Jordie almost jumped out of his skin, looking over with wide, tired eyes to Rene. He swallowed hard, trying to bury his emotions. Whatever he felt, he didn't want to project it onto the younger boy. Honestly, it wasn't that he thought Rene didn't deserve the captainship. Jordie had just wanted to be the one to give it to him. He forced a smile onto his face, making himself relax. "Thanks. And Congratulations on the captain thing, you're perfect for it." He offered, getting up and grabbing his shirt, busying himself with tidying up his locker. "The try-outs went well, you did good." He tried, still wanting to act like a big brother on the team despite everything.

 

[Rene Tofilau]

Rene stifled a stab of guilt when he saw Jordie jump. He really did look pretty worn out and Rene hadn’t exactly been going easy on the bludgers during practice either. It seemed necessary if they were going up against Slytherin but now he was wondering if maybe he should have eased up just a little.

He had to preen a little when Jordie offered back his congratulations, feeling himself relax at Jordie’s reassurance. It was a bit weird to be picked when there were older students on the team, but Rene wanted to selfishly trust Tilly’s judgement in this. “Thanks, man. I was a little surprised, I mean I’m glad and I’m sure you have enough on your plate already with the Brotherhood and now Head Boy. I bet that’s why Tilly picked me, aye,” he said sheepishly., scratching at his ear before shifting to hang up his beater’s bat so he had something else to do while Jordie messed around with his locker. “You think so? I didn’t realize how daunting it was picking people for the team. Tilly was always gonna be hard to replace but it’s still weird realizing like, you pick the wrong person and that could be the whole season out the window. Not that we don’t all pull our weight and stuff but, you know.” It felt kind of nice talking to Jordie about this; he was in charge of stuff, so he probably knew more about the pressure than Rene did so far.

 

[Jordan Harris]

Jordie struggled with his emotions for a while, not looking to Rene before finally he let out a deep breath. "I'm not gunna lie, man, that one hurt a bit." He chuckled tiredly, deciding maybe he could just come clean with it and not have it hanging over him all season. "But I get it, I was really overreaching for everything. I wasn't expecting the Brotherhood, that one was definitely a surprise." He ran a hand through his hair, turning to face Rene. "I won't lie and say I didn't want it, but I don't question her decision. I had wanted to be the one to give it to you, I've seen how you are with the team. You were made for this, and you have my complete and total support." He offered his hand, giving a tired smile to the younger boy.

 

[Rene Tofilau]

Rene was caught off guard by Jordie’s response, not entirely the boy to be so upfront with him about something like that. Jordie always seemed so confident and happy, though he had softened the admission with a laugh, which Rene awkwardly mirrored. “The Brotherhood is fun with you in charge,” he offered like some sort of vague reassurance. Rene felt the temptation to say something placating like that Jordie could have handled it or that he wished Jordie had been picked instead like he described, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it. Really, Rene was glad he’d been picked, grinning becoming more genuine as Jordie complimented him, glad there didn’t seem to be any real bitterness for him now.

“Thanks, man, that means a lot,” he said sincerely. Sure, Rene might not have completely expected the captains badge just yet, but he’d joined the team the same year as Jordie, worked just as hard, watched Tilly closely, he’d earned this. He could do this. “I hope I won’t be super annoying if I ask you for a few tips every now and then though, I have no idea how you balance all your time with clubs and prefect stuff,” he said, leaning back against his locker with a tired sigh. “Or how you talk to everyone without worrying you sound like a complete egg,” he added with a slightly sly grin.

 

[Jordan Harris]

Jordie felt lighter, leaning back against the lockers. "I'm glad the brotherhood is going well," He offered in turn. "I was worried the meetings might be lackluster." He chuckled, smiling a bit as Rene kept going. "Aw, come on man, you know I've got your back for anything." He told him with a playful smile. "I'm not going to stop working for the team. I'm still training with Leo and Renata once a week," He promised. "Just let me know if you need anything, I'll help you out." He promised with an almost impish grin.